This was written for the kink meme. It's one on the ones I'm glad to put my name to. As explained over there, I really wanted this to be P/E, but it just wouldn't come together.


What happens in Vegas...

By butterflyshurricane

Head aching, mouth dry, ability to get back to sleep diminishing. Phoenix recognised the signs of a hangover before he even opened his eyes. He must have gone at it pretty heavily last night. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this rough since his uni days. He rolled onto his back and rubbed the sleep form his eyes. Blessedly the room was still dark.

'Dear god,' he prayed, 'never let me drink that much again.'

He heard the sheets move next to him. He sat up and stared at the supine form of Miles Edgeworth next to him. He froze as he looked at the other man who was spread out all over the covers. He shifted a bit closer to get a better look at the other man. They both still had their trousers on, and Phoenix still had one shoe on. As to where his shirt, tie and jacket were, he had no idea. Phoenix licked his lips and wished for the storm in his head to calm down.

Edgeworth still had his shirt on, but it was all twisted around his torso. His jacket and vest seemed to have gone the way of Phoenix's as well. This wasn't how he had ever imagined getting Edgeworth into bed would be.

For one, he had imagined a lot less clothes and more memories of the night before.

"If that's you next to me Wright, kindly get out of my room." Came a muffled and slightly hoarse statement. Phoenix took one look around the room before turning away and throwing his legs over the bed.

"Actually, you're in my room. I'll let you stay." He replied, taking his shoe off and standing up. He stretched out and wavered a bit as a sharp pain racked his head again. The other man simply snorted but didn't move anymore.

He managed to find his way to the bathroom and stumble into a freezing shower. After that he made his way back to the room to find Edgeworth still on the bed but now he was on his side and curled up on himself.

As phoenix dressed, he tried to recall yesterday. It all started at the conference.


"Y'know. I knew this was going to be boring, but my god, if I have to listen to yet another retired attorney drone on about the technicalities of evidence law, I'll be forced to commit murder just to be taken away!" Phoenix leaned over to the man sat next to him at the back of the conference.

Phoenix had a sneaking suspicion that a three day conference for the "State of California Trial Lawyers Association" was not going to be the greatest weekend away, but he never thought it would be as tedious as what he was currently experiencing.

And why would they be hosting it in Nevada anyway?

All he could be thankful for was that Edgeworth was attending and had even consented to giving Phoenix a ride. He didn't think he could stand taking the train, especially if Grossberg was going to be on the same train. There was only so much lemon scented stories of youth he could take.

The chatter on the way up hadn't been as strained as he thought it would have been, but it still wasn't as natural as he would have liked it. He supposed that he should be thankful for at least this much of Edgeworth's time and attention.

He sighed and he realised he was sounding like a teenage girl.

So he had tagged along with the prosecutor and was currently sat next to him in a large auditorium. Edgeworth shifted in his seat and leaned towards Wright, so that their shoulders brushed.

"For once, we are in complete agreement." He murmured, sending a shiver up Phoenix's spine. If only that voice would murmur dirty things in his ear. He managed to quell that feeling with a cough.

"Then how about we go hit the casino?" Phoenix replied.

"Alright then."

Ten minutes later, and seven unhappy attorneys that had to let them out of their seats, they were entering the casino floor. The ring of slot machines and crowds around the tables overtook them and they began to make their way through the casino.

"I suppose the Venetian is out of your league?" Edgeworth said through a smirk as they stood in the entrance.

"Just starting small. You have to work your way up from the bottom." Phoenix replied, scanning the room before starting to move. Miles followed until he came across a half empty table. He looked behind him to make sure Edgeworth was still with him before he slid into a seat.

"Poker? I never knew you liked having no money so much." Was the smug response he heard from behind.

"Texas hold 'em. Thought I prefer five card draw. Pull up a seat." He said as the last round finished with a fold.

"No thank you. I prefer Baccarat." Edgeworth replied, still standing behind the other man. Phoenix threw his head back and laughed. He took his cards and examined them. Pocket nines. He allowed himself to mentally smirk. This was going to be easier than he thought.

An hour and a half later, three bottles of bud and $4000 safely in possession, Phoenix and Miles made their way to one of the lounges.

"Do wipe that smug grin off of your face." Edgeworth replied as he took a seat at the bar.

"You're just jealous that I finally made more money than you in a single day?" Phoenix replied, taking another stool next to the other man. "Order up whatever you want. I got it covered."

"Very well," Edgeworth replied, turning to the bar tender. "A bottle of Rioja, with two glasses. Preferably Spanish."

"And expensive." Phoenix added. He knew he was grinning like an idiot, but who could blame him. Edgeworth just shook his head as the wine was uncorked and placed in front of them.

"What is it they say, beer before wine?" Phoenix said as he raised a glass.


Phoenix was feeling anything but fine. He had a coffee in front of him and breakfast had just been delivered to the room. His lower eye lids felt heavy and his body felt like lead. It took all that he had to lift the cup to his mouth and take a sip of the blessed black bitterness.

Dear god, he was now sounding like Godot.

He shovelled another fork full of scrambled egg into his mouth, but had no real energy to chew it. He looked around the room and saw that it was a sty. What the hell did they do here last night? He checked his phone to make sure it was actually Wednesday so he could rule out a Hunter S Thompson episode.

He heard shuffling around in the bedroom before Edgeworth appeared, shirt and vest firmly righted and semi presentable. His hair on the other hand was sticking out all over the place and his scowl just couldn't hide the tiredness. The prosecutor looked around the room with a look of refined disgust before settling his sights on Phoenix.

The Defence attorney didn't think Edgeworth's scowl could grow any darkened, but it did as he levelled a stared at him.

"Coffee?" Phoenix croaked, holding up the jug. Edgeworth's shoulders slumped as he wandered over to the table.

A second mug was poured and the two sat in silence. Phoenix had begun to remember what happened after the bar. They had had a few bottles of wine and decided to play the tables some more. Phoenix couldn't remember if they had won any more money, but they had ended up in a few more bars before it started to become ireally/i blurry.

He did dance with Miles at one point, but whether that was in a club or on a street corner, he couldn't quite tell. Also, Elvis was there as well.

"If there are any legal repercussions from last night, I shall blame you entirely." Edgeworth finally spoke up and he poured a second mug.

"Go ahead. I'll have you know I know a good lawyer." Phoenix said smiling into his mug. He shook his head and chuckled at Edgeworth's expression.

"This place is a mess Wright. Don't you have any pride?"

"Hey, I bet you're responsible for some of this." Phoenix said as he sifted through some of the papers on the table. Brochures, flyers, event planner, crumpled up bills. He supposed he should look through them, just to see if they abused room service last night.

"Like I just said, all blame shall rest with you." Edgeworth replied, throwing one of the balled up papers at Phoenix. It his his shoulder and bounced onto the half full plate of breakfast. The defence attorney picked it up and opened it up.

"Hey, this one has Elvis's face on it. Maybe we got his autograph." He said as he smoother it out and began to read.

Whatever Edgeworth's response had been, it was unheard as he read what the paper had written on it. Elvis's face took up most of the page, a faded headshot of him in his younger days but it wasn't the picture of the king that had made his breath hitch.

His heart sank as he read the words 'marriage licence' and both his and Mile's names. He read it through properly a dozen times just to make sure. He swallowed a few times before any coherent thought formed in his head.

"Oh god."

"Oh god what? You haven't signed your life away have you?" Edgeworth asked as he took the paper out of his hand.

Phoenix was still staring at the space where the paper had been. He slowly raised his hands to his face and buried his face in them, shaking his head. God now he remembered. Vaguely. The chapel, the Elvis impersonator. Oh lord, they had kissed as well!

"What... what the hell!" Edgeworth shouted standing up and slamming his hands on the table.

"Oh god." Phoenix muttered again.

"You're going to need more than god when I'm through with you!" Edgeworth seethed throwing the paper down.

"You're name is on there too! Just calm down!" Phoenix shot back, finally looking at Edgeworth. The other man was red in the face. Which could have been anger but also could be a blush. How cute. Phoenix shook his head and that thought away.

This was definitely not how he had imagined a morning after a night with the other man.

Edgeworth returned to his seat and took a deep breath. Phoenix leaned back and crossed his arms. Who would have thought that this would happen to him. To ithem/i! Months of lusting after the other man and now they seemed to be married. Phoenix didn't know if he was in heaven or hell. Taking a look at the demon prosecutor, who looked like he was trying to burn holes in the piece of paper. He was married to Miles Edgeworth or was that now Miles Edgeworth-Wright, a mutinous thought popped up. He closed his eyes and tried not to smirk.

"This isn't funny Wright!" The other man cried out, slamming the table again. This caused Phoenix to actually laugh.

"C'mon! It's a little bit funny. Seriously! Mr and Mr Edgeworth-Wright!" Phoenix howled as he creased up.

"Wright! You're this close to becoming a battered wife!" This made Phoenix laugh even more.


"Calm down Miles! We'll sort this out." Phoenix shouted back, wiping unshed tears from his eyes and his laughing died down. Edgeworth had taken his seat back at the table and was not glaring at Phoenix. Was that a pout he had as well?

"What we'll do is just finish up breakfast, go down to the chapel and get it reversed. We'll be able to make is back to catch the last half of the convention. Or we could skip it all together and go play the tables again."

"No!" came the resounding reply to that. "All we're doing today is getting this marriage annulled!"



An hour later the two lawyers, now smartly dressed but still feeling rough, made their way up into the chapel. It was a small place, with decor straight out of the sixties. Brown carpet and beige paint with an abundance of wood panelling. The upholstery had large ugly orange and brown patterns and some dubious stains. Everything Phoenix had imagined his wedding would not be.

"Dear god Wright, could we have chosen anywhere more undignified? There's a stuffed dear head above the door." Edgeworth sniffed. Even Phoenix thought that he had deserved better.

"I guess we ran out of money by the time we got here." He said as he saw the price. "Guess you're only worth $25."

"One more joke from you and I'll be a widower." The prosecutor hissed.

"It could be worst."


"You could have married Franziska."

Edgeworth never got a chance to reply, as Elvis entered the lobby.

"Well hey there boys. Didn't reckon you'd be back so soon." The short and portly man announced putting his hands on his hips. The white rhinestone suit didn't seem to fit the man anymore, but he didn't seem to realise. Phoenix now recognised why he has seen Elvis the previous night.

"We're here to discuss this." Edgeworth, always business-like, held out the certificate. The minister took it and looked at it before looking at the two of them.

"Yep, that's one of ours. You boys want a copies?"

"I don't suppose you aren't actually registered to marry people?" Phoenix ventured, scratching the back of his head. Maybe if he did the talking, Edgeworth wouldn't end up losing his temper again.

"Course I am. If I weren't, there's an awful lot of folk that are gonna be in for a nasty shock." The priest replied, scratching his wig and taking off his aviators.

"I guess you's sobered up pretty quickly fellas. I have to say, I've married a few people in my time but I've never been so entertained as I was last night." The old man chortled as he lead them into the actual chapel.

The chapel itself was adorned with white and pink flowers and decorations, that seemed totally out of place in between the dark wood and orange pew cushions.

"I'll tell ya, I've had a lot of things said to me, but I ain't never been threatened with being sued for not marrying folk. We don't normally allow drunks to get married, but you were pretty insistent. Are you two really lawyers?" The minister continued as they walked to the altar.

"Er, yeah. What else did we do? I hope we didn't cause too much trouble."

"Nah. Y'all entertained a few of the couples here. Talking about undying love and all that. You certainly got charm on your , you sure know how to belt out a tune."

"We sang?" Phoenix asked, feeling slightly ill.

"Just you. I've never heard 'love me tender' sang with so much passion. Or slurring."

"Look, none of this is important. What is is how quickly can we get this annulled?" Edgeworth cut in. His blush had returned. Oh lord was this day justi going from bad to worse to slightly turned on.

The priest looked him up and down before giving them a winning smile.

"Well normally, you'd just go about it the normal way, but in your case..." The priest trailed off. Phoenix closed his eyes. Oh god not this.

"Are you saying that it'll have to go to the divorce courts?" Edgeworth blurted out, looking aghast. The priest just laughed.

"Hell no. You're in Las Vegas now boys. Same sex marriage isn't legal here. It's how you law types say 'void ab imitio'."

The silence could have been cut with a butter knife as the two just stood there, staring at one another.

"Oh thank god!" Phoenix sighed. Edgeworth just sank down into one of the pews. The priest just continued to laugh.

"We held the ceremony just cuz. I wish I could've seen your faces this morning." He told them as Phoenix began to laugh as well. Even Edgeworth cracked a smile.

"Well boys, it's been a hoot, but I have errands to run. If you ever fancy getting married again, and if it's legal, just drop me a line and we'll give you a discount."

As they left the small chapel, Phoenix suddenly felt a lot better. Not because of the near miss marriage, but because the other man didn't seem to be angry with him anymore. He stole a sideways glance as they made their way down the street.

"You know what's funny?"

"Funnier than almost being Mrs Edgeworth?"

"I could really go for a drink."

The end.