Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
A/N: This is a birthday fic requested by BlackLittleNekoKitty for her bestfriend, HiN4-cH4n. Happy Belated Birthday!! Sorry, this got out soooo late coz I had a lot of things to do....LBNK requested this as your birthday gift and hoped you like it!! I did it in a rush!! And this is my first one-shot fic, dedicated to one of my constant and loyal reviewer, HiN4-cH4n....
Note: This is a one-shot.....
Bedtime Story Gone Awry
"Once upon a time..."
"Tch...that's lame Uchiha. Can't you be more original than that? Trust a Uchiha to come up with something original is like trusting Naruto with an unguarded bowl of ramen."
"Yeah, Neji's right Sasuke. You're..."
"Shut up dobe," Sasuke hissed and glared back at Neji. "So, you think you can do better eh, Hyuuga?"
"Like hell I'm going to let you tell her a fu…."
"Papa!!" An exact replica of her mother, the little indigo-haired girl whined. Her large pale grey eyes looked very at the verge of shedding those big watery sized teardrops. Deep down Sasuke knew his wife would carefully carve his tripes out if he made his only daughter cry.
"I'm sorry sweetheart," Sasuke wrapped his arms around his precious little girl and gave her a kiss on her forehead whilst glaring at the two offending males who self-invited themselves into his household and intrude his first-time-reading-a-story to his daughter. "Lets start from the beginning, shall we?"
The little girl nodded her head and pulled her comforter higher up and smiled at both Neji and Naruto.
"Ne Haya-chan, do you want Uncle Neji to read you a story?" Neji ruffled the child's hair. "I know very good ones, stories about the Hyuuga Clan and how your father's clan descended from…..us," Neji threw a look.
Sasuke glared at the offending Hyuuga.
Uchiha Haya nodded shyly, totally oblivious of the intense rivalry between the two male figures in her life; her beloved papa and much-adored uncle.
"Ne Haya-chan, Godpapa Naruto knows many stories to tell ya!" Naruto beamed. "I travel around the world with my sensei and learned many many things from different countries! Wanna hear all of 'em??"
Haya nodded her head eagerly. Large trusting eyes never waver from her funny blondish god-father.
"No one wants to hear your story, dobe."
"Especially if its something perverted and misconstrued."
"Mou….but my story is of high-quality! Even Kakashi-sensei loves it!" Turning is blondish head towards Haya, grinning widely. "Haya-chan likes to listen to action and adventure stories, ne Haya-chan?"
Haya was about to nod her head when Sasuke pulled his daughter away from Naruto.
Sasuke growled, "Over my dead body, dobe."
"Yeah. Over Uchiha's dead body, loser."
"What are you implying, Hyuuga?"
"Are you with me or against me in this, Uchiha?"
"Why are you all ganging up on me??" the blonde whined. "I know a hell lot more stories than you two put together! Besides, I have them published into books you know."
Haya's eyes widened in amazement, "Narupapa have….book?"
Naruto's eyes sparkled. "Of course Haya-chan! You should be proud of your Narupapa here!" Pointing to himself proudly. "My books are famous throughout the land! Even the outside world likes my stories!"
Haya clapped her hands, excited for her 'successful' godfather, not knowing what those books actually contained.
"Don't tell me you read those books to your sons, dobe?"
Naruto looked at him wide-eyed. "How'd you know??"
Both Neji and Sasuke sweatdropped.
"That's it. My daughter is not going anywhere near your sons!" Sasuke declared.
"I second that, Uchiha," Neji agreed.
"Why are you guys ganging up on me!!" Naruto whined again. "Its not fair, ne Haya-chan??"
"She's my daughter and as her father I get to tell her a story!"
"She's my only niece, Uchiha. And since I'm her favourite Uncle, I get to tell the story."
"What stupid logic is that Hyuuga? You expect me to just accept that?" Sasuke demanded. "Go. To. Hell."
"Fuck you, Uchiha."
"Fuck off the both of you!" Naruto yelled. "Can't you see both of you are scaring Haya-chan!"
"Mou..." Haya whispered. Her little rosebud lips trembling as her large eyes were almost....so near....at the verge.....of spilling its teary content at the three grown adults fighting over 'who is going to read her a bedtime story' time. And Haya wanted her papa to read her a story, only to have her favourite uncle and godfather dropping by for a visit.
It was so hard for her to choose who she wants to read her a bedtime story, one of her favourite night time activity before she goes to bed and she won't sleep until she have her story. But it was so hard when it comes to her papa, uncle and godpapa.
Sasuke wanted to read Haya a bedtime story, but because of his missions and clan duties, he hadn't had the time, and when he did, it was always his sons taking away his chance.
Yes. His sons and Haya's older brothers would always grab his chance to tuck their only sister to sleep.
"Oh no...no...no...Haya-chan!!" Naruto made a grab for Haya but only got clobbered on the head by Neji.
"Keep your perverted hands off her, loser!" Neji growled.
Sasuke held his baby girl closer. "Shhhh....sweetheart," Sasuke whispered closely. "Since papa is here, I'll tell you the story. Your uncle and godfather can just sit and listen." He glared furiously at the other two with Sharingan activated, and an obvious warning.
Neji and Naruto gave up and sat up closer.
"Okay, where were we?"
"You started the 'once upon a time' thingy, teme."
Both Sasuke and Neji gave him a rude and hard smack until Naruto passed out.
Neji and Sasuke hovered protectively over the little girl. Blocking the view of her clobbered godpapa, Sasuke hushed his daughter and said, "Don't worry about your godfather, Haya-chan. He's just a little tired."
"We...weally?" Haya looked up at her papa. Sasuke smiled gently and Haya sank back into her soft bed.
"Hurry up with the story, Uchiha!" Neji hissed jealously.
Sasuke glared once more at Neji.
"Once upon a time..." Sasuke began. "There lived this beautiful princess with long silky indigo hair..."
"Wike...mine?" Haya asked, touching the side of her bangs.
"Yes sweetie, like yours," Sasuke smiled, softly stroking her head.
Haya beamed him a smile and blushed at her papa.
Sasuke almost melted into a puddle of goo.
Neji tried to maintain his cool but lost it when his little precious flower blushed. She reminded him of Hinata when they were very young. Neji sighed at the sight of his precious little niece and felt a hot radiating aura.
Sasuke glowered at him.
Neji returned the favour.
Sasuke felt a tug on his sleeve and instantaneously changed into a big softie.
Sasuke ignored his offensive cousin in-law.
Naruto's still passed out. On the floor.
"Once upon a time...."
"You've said that three times already Uchiha. Can you just get-to-the-point?" Neji gritted his teeth in annoyance, wondering why fate was being so cruel to him by letting his beloved cousin fell in love and marry the one man he hated so much.
Sasuke twitched. Can't I tell a fucking story to my daughter in peace??
"Shut up, Hyuuga."
"Just hurry up and get it done, idiot." Neji couldn't believe what a nincompoop the man her cousin chose to marry. "Out of all the men on this planet, she had to choose you," he muttered darkly.
Sasuke turned away from his cousin in-law and proceeded to complete his 'mission'.
"This beautiful princess lived in his big...castle protected by this huge ugly monster."
Haya looked enamoured and could picture the monster in her mind.
"This evil ugly monster whose name, say....Heji would not let anybody near the princess and will kill those who come near..."
Neji twitched. Totally aware who Sasuke referred the 'ugly monster'.
"Well, the princess...lets call her Princess Hina, yeah....Princess Hina is reputed to be the most beautiful woman in the land and Evil Monster Heji keeps her in the castle from everyone. He will kill those who come to take away his princess."
Neji looked crestfallen. His lips trembled when his precious little flower called him 'a monster'!
"Hai! Clever little girl!" Sasuke beamed proudly at his three year old princess and smirked victoriously at the insulted looking Neji. "Then one day, a dashing prince...say his name is Prince Sasu....from a neighbouring kingdome, came looking for Princess Hina and they both fell in love at first sight. But in order for them to be together, Prince Sasu must kill Heji and that he did. Just a swing from his Kusanagi....I mean....Urusanagi..yeah....Then the prince and princess got married and lived happily ever after."
Neji twitched. "What kind of a shitty story is that! Its stupid!"
"Its not shitty and stupid, Hyuuga. The only thing which is stupid right now is you being here, disrupting some father-daughter quality time. You just don't have the art of appreciating refined taste," Sasuke sneered. "And another thing, will you refrain from cursing in front of my daughter? You're setting a bad example to her." Turning to his daughter, Sasuke asked, "It was a nice happy story, ne sweetheart?"
Haya looked at her papa with wide eyes.
"What is wrong, pumpkin?" Sasuke was concerned.
"Because the monster Neji...I mean Heji....is evil. The prince cut off his hair...I meant head...yeah, chopped it off with one swing," Sasuke smirked at Neji, remembering a certain incident some years back.
"Bu..bu..but he hash to pwo…pwoteck…..pwincesh!"
Both Neji and Sasuke sweatdropped.
Neji grinned. It appears his precious little flower is defending him!! Neji could almost dance a little victory dance!
"How about Pwincesh Hina?" Little Uchiha Haya asked her papa.
Sasuke sweatdropped. "Princess Hina lived happily ever after with her handsome dashing prince! Since he saved her and all that…that….princely things he did."
Haya looked down at her fingers and fiddled them nervously. Both men froze in their tracks. They knew that sign meant only one thing.
Little Uchiha Haya is nervous. And when she's nervous, she'll stammer. And when she'll stammer, she will cry. And when she cries, Hinata is going to be upset. And when Hinata is upset, Hanabi will know. And when Hanabi knows, Hiashi will know. And when Hiashi knows….gawd, they would not want to know when Hiashi knows…..
An upset Hiashi is most definitely something no one would want to see. Neji shudders painfully at the thought until he remembered something….
"Look what you fucking did, Uchiha," Neji hissed. "You got her scared!"
"Its not my fuc…damn fault! You and that dobe came uninvited and disrupt my quality time with my daughter!"
"Well, if I wasn't here to monitor you, it could've been worst! And you suck at storytelling. Why can't you tell a happy story for once?"
"It is a happy story, you fag. The prince and princess got together now, didn't they?"
"Its still a stupid story to me you bast...I mean idiot!" Neji minded his crude language.
"Well, if you think you're so good, why don't you try it?" Sasuke glared.
Little Uchiha Haya didn't know what to do. Looking from her large pale eyes, two of her favourite males in her life, her dearest papa and gentle uncle were having it out. Full-scale war of words thrown at each other with their kekkai genkai activated. One flashing brightly and the other swirling with passion.
Haya knew she had to do something. But what??
Her mommy once told her about how to pacify her uncle and papa whenever they got out of hand in 'negotiating roughly'. A secret weapon only to be used when the situation got out of hand and Haya lifted her head and looked at the two bickering older men.
Its now or never.
Two pearly drop of tears flowed down her cheek and she can't help but sniffed into her little pink pyjama sleeve whilst clutching her orangey fox plushie and bit her lower lip from trembling.
Both men stopped their hostility. Looking at each other blankly, Neji and Sasuke agreed to a 'truce' and will take it out once Haya is tucked in properly.
"How about if Uncle Neji here tell you a story?" Neji smiled at the little girl.
Haya stopped crying and pulled out her most gushing puppy eyes at her favourite uncle in the whole wide world!
Neji almost melted into a puddle of goo. The little girl was too hard to resist that Neji pulled himself closer. He almost wanted to put his arms around his little niece but Sasuke refused to let him.
Uchiha Haya's lips trembled.
"Okay, let me see now," Neji paused. "One day, there lived this beautiful young maiden..."
"Did something crawled up your arse and died, Uchiha?" Neji felt an itch to beat up Sasuke.
"Why can't you be more original, Heji...I mean, Neji?"
"It is original. Listen to the story, you idiot before making assumptions," Neji turned to Haya and added sweetly, "Remember Haya-chan, being a good and number one shinobi is to never make the same mistake like your idiot father there."
It was Sasuke's turn to twitch. Neji was stealing his daughter away from him!
And this means war, Hyuuga.... Sasuke thought of numerous ways of torturing and killing Neji. Mentally of course.
"This beautiful young maiden lived together with her cousin, a handsome dashing long-haired young man, who was given the task to protect and guard his cousin."
"That's so cliché, Hyuuga. Look who is being unoriginal," Sasuke scoffed.
Neji twitched. "None of your business Uchiha and shut up," Neji turned to Haya. "Do you know why the young handsome man needs to protect his beautiful cousin, Haya-chan?"
Haya shook her head gently. Obviously absorbed by her uncle's way of storytelling, it was much different than her papa.
"The beautiful maiden is actually a very powerful priestess of her clan."
"Yeah right," Sasuke snorted.
Neji glared and went back to storytelling. "Well, the maiden is a powerful priestess and according to clan rules, her immediate cousin is appointed as her personal guard. Now, there's this certain demon...." Neji smirked.
Sasuke have lost count of how many times he twitched.
"There is this one particular demon...."
"Ish he ash ugwy as Heji?" Haya asked.
Neji sweatdropped, pondering carefully as to how to answer his little niece without hurting her feelings and at the same time making him look innocent in her eyes.
"Answer the damn question, Hyuuga." Sasuke challenged him. Take that, Hyuuga!
Neji had to think.
"Of course they are different, Haya-chan."
Haya cocked her head aside.
Awww.....she even had Hinata's trademark of adorability! Neji beamed proudly.
"Why are they different, Hyuuga?"
"Because this demon, say his name is…..Sasgay."
Sasuke fell off the bed.
Take that, Uchiha.... Neji gloated happily.
I'll get you back for this Hyuuga..... Sasuke glared at his cousin in-law as he climbed up and placed himself beside his daughter and pulled her closer to him.
Neji felt a tugging at his sleeves. "Yes, precious?"
"Why is Shasgay diffwent?"
"He is different because unlike all other demons, his hair is like a duck's butt."
Sasuke fell from the side of the bed.
Neji gloated like a bear to honey. Take that, Uchiha.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, princess. Your papa is okay, only that your Uncle Neji just love making weird stories."
"Oh," Haya nodded.
"Can I finish my story, now?"
"Nobody wants to listen to that crap, Neji. Its stupid."
"Its not stupid, right Haya-chan?" Neji asked his niece.
Haya looked confused. "You....you...said the... 'S' word, Uncle...Neji."
"Hyuuga." Sasuke glared threateningly.
"Okay....let me continue," Neji replied, reaching to ruffled his niece's locks. "Gomen-ne Haya-chan."
"Its...okay, Uncle Neji."
"This demon, Sasgay..."
"He growled just like your papa."
Haya giggled. "Funny....demon."
"Yeah," Neji agreed.
Sasuke rolled his eyes upwards. "Get on with it!"
"This duck-butt-haired demon was the laughing stock of all demons, and he set his cross-eyed sights on the maiden-priestess. One day, he came...."
Spending another ten minutes listening to his much hated cousin in-law telling the most ludicrous and illogically stupid bedtime story was the most trying moment of his life! It was much worse than waiting for Hinata to deliver their daughter. Waiting for seventy-two hours was nothing compared to listening to the super-narcissist Hyuuga Neji for ten blasted minutes.
Mustering every ounce of strength he had, Uchiha Sasuke was trying not to kill Neji right in front of his precious daughter.
And Naruto was still out cold on the floor.
Uchiha Hinata was most certainly not pleased with both her husband and cousin.
After cute little Uchiha Haya was finally tucked in, both men grabbed Naruto, each took a leg and dragged the blonde outside before launching themselves at each other, making a headway to the Uchiha family dojo.
Sporting a bruised left cheek, Sasuke did not mind. At least he had the satisfaction that he had broken Neji's nose. And the best part?
Who sounds like a duck now?
Sasuke chuckled happily until his wife smack him on the head.
The next day, after dinner:
Uchiha Sasuke is happy.
There is no stupid blond dobe around.
And even better, there wasn't any sight of his high-and-mighty cousin in-law. If only murder is considered legal in Konoha…..
Sasuke looked down when he felt a little tug on his yukata. His smile broadened as he scooped his little princess into his arms.
"Remember what we said this morning, Sasuke?" his wife asking, from the kitchen's doorway. Even draped in a pink frilly apron, his wife still look as beautiful as the time when he first fell head over heels in love with her and after years of marriage, he still can't refuse her requests.
"Yes dear, I remember," he replied, giving his wife a brief kiss.
"You scoundrel!" Hinata laughed graciously and Haya giggled when her father snuggle his face in her mother's neck.
"Eeewwwww!!" Several voices were heard coming from the front.
Sasuke and Hinata turned towards the sound of their sons.
All seven of them.
Sasuke glowered at all his seven sons.
Little Haya twist her body a little, wanting her papa to put her down so that she could go and give goodnight kisses to all her nii-sans. And after she was done, she ran back to her papa on her short chubby legs, raising her arms wanting to be picked up again.
Automatically Sasuke picked her up and placed her on his hips and Haya waved goodnight to her brothers. Hinata kissed her daughter goodnight and Haya already started to rub her eyes.
"Sleepy already, sweetheart?"
"Hai papa," she murmured and wrapped her little arms around her papa's neck.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"I'll get it," Hinata said, moving away from her husband and children, on her way to open the door.
Sasuke gripped his little girl closer to him. Praying that it had better not be the orange pest Naruto or stick-up-in-the-ass Neji. If either one of them show up again, Sasuke would not hesitate to obliterate their offending presence into his home with his Chidori.
While contemplating various killing tactics, Sasuke hadn't realised his daughter perked up from her sleepiness and was excited at their 'new' guest.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Sasuke demanded ominously.
"What do you mean by that, Uchiha?"
"I mean what I mean, Hyuuga."
"Sasuke...." Hinata sighed. "I forgot to tell you."
Everyone looked at Hinata.
"Why is everyone coming over now?" Sasuke almost….whined. This was almost his night to tell his little girl a story and another obstacle was thrown into his way. It seemed someone up there simply hates him and he had lost count at how many.
"Is that the way for you to treat your father in-law, Uchiha?" Hiashi asked when all of the sudden the youngest Uchiha boy ran and jumped on his grandfather.
"Ojii-chan!!!" One by one the boys called out to their grandfather, until his attentions rests upon a little girl in Sasuke's arms.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his long-haired father in-law. The only one who had almost stood in his way when he wanted to marry Hinata, and if it wasn't for Tsunade's interference, the old man in front of him would already be dead by now. But he couldn't do that to Hinata.
"Sasuke, being hostile with Father, isn't going to help much," Hinata said and then turned her attention to her father. "Good evening, Father. I trust you had a good day today?"
Hiashi turned his attention to Hinata and smiled. "Yes, it was a fruitful event with the Suna delegates."
"But I wanna stay with Oji-chan!" the youngest Uchiha boy pouted, refusing to let go of his grandfather.
"Its time for bed, Kyo-chan. You have a mission tomorrow, so you need to wake up early. Come on, Mommy will tuck you in tonight, ne?" Hinata took her youngest boy from her father and handed him to her eldest son.
The six-year old Kyo pouts and rubbed his eyes.
"Don't start, Uchiha Kyosuke," Sasuke warned his youngest boy. Automatically all the Uchiha boys stood up straight. Haya giggled.
"Go and finish your work boys and take the younger ones in, I'll tuck you in later alright?" Hinata kissed her boys one by one.
The eldest wiped his cheeks and muttered, "Eewww….Kaa-san!"
Hinata smiled at him, "You're still my little boy, Daisuke."
"Hai, hai," Daisuke sighed when he got the look from both his father and grandfather.
The Uchiha Seven each gave their mother a goodnight kiss and ran up to their respective rooms.
"Why the hell is your father here, Hinata?" Sasuke asked, again.
"Mind your language, Sasuke," Hiashi hushed him and raised his arms to the excited little girl. His only granddaughter, spoilt rotten by him and the rest of the Hyuuga family clan.
Haya quickly reached for her grandfather's arms and snuggled closely. Liking the feeling and smell of her grandfather, he smells like ink, green tea and a little hint of sunflower. Haya remembered her mommy once told her that the smell of sunflowers always reminded her of her late mother. And Haya really loved the smell of sunflower.
"How is my favourite little princess?" Hiashi beamed at his granddaughter.
All traces of drowsiness have evaporated and Haya giggled happily. "I am okay, Ojii-chan. Papa-chan is goin' weed me a stowy!"
"Oh, is he?" Hiashi glared at his rude and over-protective son in-law. Sasuke returned the favour.
The rebel who stole his precious little girl
The traitor who bewitched his beloved sunshine.
The scum who dared to challenge him the first time they met when he came for Hinata's hand in marriage.
Hinata could feel the tension mounting between the two men and she knew it was a bad idea, but she couldn't deny her father the privilege.
Uchiha Sasuke will not lose to his obnoxious father in-law.
Sasuke hissed, "You gotta be kidding me?"
"I'm sorry Sasuke-kun, but it seems that you have to share some quality time with Father," Hinata tried to keep a straight face. "To tell Haya-chan a bedtime story, of course."
Sasuke looked horrified at his father in-law.
The seven Uchiha boys could hear their father screaming and their grandfather yelling.
"Is Tou-san going to be alright?" the youngest asked his older brothers.
"I hope so."
"Yeah, Ojii-chan looked like he really wanna beat Tou-san up."
"Why am I not surprised about that?"
"Stop being a smart ass, we all know that."
"I think Tou-san will survive."
"That sounds like a fifty percent chance of survival."
"At least better than anything less than that."
"Yup, he's right."
"Do you think we get to watch Tou-san and Ojii-chan's cool moves??"
"I think they're gonna start anytime!"
Everyone hushed and activated their hybrid Byakugan.
"Over my dead body if I'm going to give up my rights to tell my daughter her bedtime story!" Sasuke glared at his father in-law.
"Don't be ridiculous Sasuke," Hinata replied. "Father just wants to have a chance to tuck Haya-chan in for tonight."
"Why can't he do it when I'm not around??" Sasuke growled.
"You're being childish, Uchiha," Hiashi replied coolly.
"I had enough of the dobe and that cocky Neji last night, and I am not taking in anymore from the likes of you, father in-law."
"Don't you think you're over-reacting?" Hiashi asked, putting down his only grand-daughter.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"I'll get it," Hinata said, putting Haya on the table whilst looking adoringly at her papa and grandpa. "Try not to destroy the house like the last time, please?"
"We'll try," both Sasuke and Hiashi muttered at the same time before going back to the growling and snapping.
Haya giggled and clapped her little chubby hands.
"I wonder who is coming at this ungodly hour."
"Funny coming out from you."
"Its not funny, Uchiha."
"And you wonder why? How ironic I'd say, Hyuuga. Coming from you, I mean."
"Its only seven o'clock, Uchiha."
"And you call that ungodly? Oh please, spare me the details."
"You've grown more sarcastic as you grow older, brat."
"Who are you calling brat, old man."
"Gaa-jiji!!" Haya screamed and scrambled down to meet…..
"What are you doing here?"
"What the hell do you want this time?"
"Father! Sasuke!" Hinata shook her head at the men in her life.
Gaara smirked, picking up the little indigo-haired girl in his arms. "Why, I came for a visit," kissing Haya's cheeks, adding, "And to tuck little Haya in tonight with a little story."
No. Fucking. Way.