Author's note : I thought you would have given up on this story ! To those who didn't : THANK YOU ! As promised, the first update of this Summer for this story ! It should have been posted last weekend, but I went on vacation. It was a last minute thing. So I wrote this yesterday when I got back. And I started my job today. So busy I am, but I'll try to keep my promise.
For those you didn't know, I also updated "start all over"
Disclaimer : I do not own anything but the story and the beta characters.
Solitary and vulnerable, chapter 7
She's engaged. Lilly is engaged. She's getting married...
"But... But...But you're not wearing a ring!" I blurt out. That's not the best thing I could have said. I can think of a better one : Congratulations. But I don't want to congratulate her. I don't want to pretend I'm happy about this little news 'cause I sure as hell am not!
"Well, I'm the one that proposed. So I'm not the one wearing it..." Lilly replies as she plays with her fingers.
"You mean, HE is wearing the engagement ring?" A guy does that? I snort. Can't help it... She proposed to him. What's next? She's gonna get him pregnant? Ha! Wait...
"oh my god!" I gasp. "You're pregnant aren't you?!"
"That is why you're engaged, right? He got you pregnant!"
"I can't believe it! Lilly Truscott, soon to be mother!"
I think I continue rambling and pacing for a while before I feel something hit my face.
"'What the?" I ask, looking bewildered at the cushion on the floor.
"Sorry... but I didn't know how to stop you..."
Well, I could have thought of other ways...she just had to ask!
I go to say something but Lilly is quick to cut me off. Actually she threatens me with another cushion. I close my mouth and look down.
"Okay... So first, I'm not pregnant. Pregnancy isn't the only reason two people get married."
"I know that..." I mumble under my breath. I'm pretty sure I look like a child getting reprimanded.
I look up. She seems hesitant...
"Second?" I push. What's the big deal. She already told me she's engaged. What could be worse?
"I... uh. The person I'm getting married to is... a girl."
Yep, that was me.
Trying to sit down on the couch at hearing this...
and miserably failing...
"Oh my god! Are you okay?!" Lilly exclaims as she rushes towards me... who's lying on the floor. But I don't answer.
'Cause you see, my brain has totally gone blank. I can't feel anything, not even the bruise quickly forming on my butt.
This is too much information. Too much at a time. Lilly is gay, in love and getting married.
"So, made a decision yet?" Rachel interrupts us.
She just came back from the kitchen. Looks like she's eating some cereals. There's some milk on her chin. I hope it's not my captain crunch. It's the only goodies I can have. Yeah... Emma...
Lilly and I look at each other. Have we made a decision? I don't know. I mean, maybe we should talk about this... and maybe there could be two decisions made : one, whether or not I want to go to the ranch with her, and two, whether or not Lilly really wants to get married to... her. Maybe she was drunk when she proposed or when she decided to kiss a girl... wait, no. Kissing a girl is good... as long as that girl is me. Am I spacing out?
Lilly and Rachel are looking at me expectantly. Guess so...
Now should I be the bigger person and show her how evolve I can be about this thing? I mean, I have no right to be mad or upset that she's engaged. It's not like I have feelings for her... that she knows of. It would be... inappropriate. Besides, we're not even friends anymore.
Oh right... and there's Emma. My girlfriend. Whom I am supposed to love. Sorry. I forgot. Lilly tends to do that to me. When she's in the room, I forget everything else.
They're still looking at me. It's a little creepy actually.
"So? Miss Stewart? Are you in?" Rachel presses.
I sigh heavily and get up. Oh boy, I hope I won't regret this. "Yes... I'm going."
"Fabulous!" Rachel squeals, clapping her hands together. "This weekend is going to be great!"
"Wait?! This weekend?" I shriek.
It is way too quick ! I need time to wrap my head around everything. Especially the gay thing. And the engagement thing. I feel nauseous just thinking about it... Oh god, I feel a wave of panic rushing through me.
But panicking is good because now, I can smell Lilly. Yes, she's standing right next to me.
"Miley, you're okay?"
Dare I say it, but she sounds like she cares about me. Yay me !
The wave of nausea is leaving me... maybe I should pretend I'm feeling worse so you know, she can come closer and see how I'm feeling... closer. Should I faint? Or maybe...
Oh boy, her hand is on my shoulder. Don't shiver, don't shiver, don't shiver.
"Miley?" she squeezes my shoulder. Sweet niblets, I should have worn a tank top. Skin on skin action. Sigh.
She drops her hand. Damn, I feel cold now. Pout.
"Not really?" I finally let out. Okay, that sounded more like a question... "I think I need to sit down for a while."
"Okay. Here. Let me help you."
Lilly's all sweet. She leads me to the couch, which is like right behind me. So she only really just pushes me down, but still. She's sweet.
She kneels in front of me. Her eyes look so warm. Like the Lilly I used to know. The one that didn't hate me. "Want some water too?"
I shake my head 'no'. Lilly puts her hand on my arm and I feel the need to look at it. To look at HER hand on MY skin. The tingles. The goosebumps.
"Was it too much for you?" I hear Lilly say quietly.
I raise an eyebrow, not understanding. "What?"
"What I told you... I mean, I get it. I'm gay and engaged. And we just got back in each other's life a few days ago..."
"Lilly, it's fine... I..." But I don't know how to continue. I don't know what to say.
I have a headache... and a heartache.
Lilly sighs. She gets up and turns to Rachel apologetically. "Rachel, can you leave us a sec?"
"hum, yeah sure."
We both watch Rachel leave and stay silent for a while after she disappeared.
Lilly scratches her chin and sits beside me. I won't talk first and she seems to know it. She gives me a sideway glance.
"I know we have a lot to talk about Miley." I nod. "And we will." I nod again. "This weekend."
I think I whimper. I'm a little scared. What will happen then? What will be said? I don't think I can tell Lilly the truth. That I've loved her for a very long time. What's the point? Lilly is getting married. I don't have a chance with her. I love her, but she loves someone else. This weekend in the ranch is going to be a pain in the ass...
"I have a lot of questions for you," she keeps going. "and you probably have a lot of them too. Especially now."
That's right, I do. But I'm not sure I want to know the answers. I mean sometimes, it's just better to know nothing, you know?
To protect ourselves and pretend nothing happened.
To maintain our denial.
To help us survive.
I nod stupidly again.
"Okay. Well, I think we should get going."
"kay." I say in a small voice.
She gets up and calls Rachel, who appears with a chocolate bar in her hand. Sweet niblets, I thought I hid those ! Hey ! When you have a girlfriend who's merciless with sweets, you do what you need to do !
I point the finger at Rachel. "You owe me one..."
She smiles cheekily. "Three actually."
This girl's got some nerves... I like her !
Lilly smiles but she stops when she catches my eyes and becomes... distant. She waves awkardly "Well, uhm... bye then."
and... she leaves the room.
I'm about to follow her to the front door when I feel a hand on my forearm. I turn and see Rachel looking at me with a sympathetic smile.
"You know, Miss Stewart..."
I cut her off, "Miley."
"Miley" she repeats with a smile. "There's only one person that can make Lilly happy. And it's not the one she's about to marry."
I frown. "What do you mean?"
"Fight for her," is all she says before walking after Lilly.
I stare blankly in front of me as I hear the door open and close.
Wait... What did she just say?
Author's note : read and review my wonderful readers ! ;-)
Emma will be back in the next chapter and it will be the departure for the famous weekend !
Question : which do you prefer : that the next update will be for episode 11, this story, or Start all over?
I can't write all of them at the same time since I'm working this summer... So you decide which one is next... !