So after many, many weeks of agonizing over this I've finally decided to post it. Here's hoping it's not as bad as I fear it may be.
Warning: This is yaoi and KandaxAllen. Because beneath all that anger and yelling there has to be something else. Oh and, Kanda swears quite a bit.
Disclaimer: D. Gray Man sadly does not belong to me. If it did, it would be very gay and not as awesome as it is right now.
- x -
If It Sounds Crazy - It Probably Is
Kanda leisurely twirled his soba around his wooden chopsticks, bringing it to his mouth mindlessly. Saturday mornings were the worst; he was in no rush to go back to doing absolutely nothing in his lonely apartment. He could return Lavi's five consecutive messages begging him to accompany him for lunch, but…he really didn't want to. Plus, he was already eating lunch and he always felt better when nobody was around to watch him chew.
A young waitress made her way over to his booth, her clickity heels noisy against the smooth floor. "Can I get you anything else?" She asked politely, batting her fake eyelashes at Kanda.
He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. How many times had she come by in the past half hour, asking the same damn thing each and every time? If he wanted something, he'd ask. "No." He said simply, not bothering to look up from his black tea, which- now that he noticed, was almost empty. "Actually, a cup of tea." He spared her a glance, "Black, no sugar."
She bobbed her head enthusiastically, "Right away, Sir." And disappeared in a flurry of light blond curls.
"How can you drink that stuff?"
Kanda whipped his head around. There, sitting opposite him was another person, head full of shocking white hair and staring pointedly at him. Kanda's eyes narrowed, how he failed to notice someone slip into his booth was beyond him.
The boy continued, not noticing the murderous aura seeping out of the dark haired young man. "…To each his own, I suppose."
Kanda ground his teeth together. "Who the hell are you?" No one invaded his space without asking. Even then it was a flat no.
The boy titled his head to one side, bringing to attention the blood red scar marring the left side of his face. He was incredibly suspicious looking. "Allen Walker, but of course you don't know me, Kanda"
Kanda almost doubled over, he knew his freaking name. He debated stabbing him with his chopsticks, maybe poking out his horrid gray eyes. " I never asked for your stupid name. Who are you and what the hell are you doing here?"
Allen was still smiling. "That's not something I'd like to discuss in public, if you don't mind."
Oh, he minded. Before Kanda could throw himself over the round table and choke the crap out of him, the waitress returned.
"Here you go." She said cheerfully, placing down the steaming cup of tea. If she noticed the tension in Kanda's body she didn't give it away. Then she turned to the newest occupant of the booth and smiled warmly. "Would you like a menu, sweetie?"
"Well since I'm going to be here for a while-" Allen started but barely got a chance to carry on before Kanda was snarling viciously at him.
"Like hell you are! Get lost."
Allen frowned and turned to the confused waitress, beaming up at her. "I'll have seven extra large plates of whatever he's eating. Minus the black tea. Sugar and milk in mine, please."
"I'll be right back with your…order." She said, scrunching up her nose at what she once thought was a cute kid, before walking away.
Kanda's dark blue eyes scanned over the abnormally pale, petite frame, wondering how so much food was going to fit in such a small body. It was inhuman to say the least.
"Quit giving me that face." Allen huffed after it seemed Kanda would never stop staring at him. "It's a little creepy."
Kanda growled and snapped his chopsticks clean in half. "I'm creepy?" Nothing more managed to come out of his flabbergasted mouth. He was in temporary shock over how stupid the unwanted stranger was.
Allen rolled his eyes. "Yes, just a tad bit." He said as if it were obvious. He pulled out the red ribbon woven around his neck and retied it. "God I'm hungry." Then oddly enough, he cracked a highly amused smile and tried to smother it in his white-gloved hands.
Kanda didn't know what to make of this 'Allen Walker', freak extraordinaire. He refused to tell him who he was but he seemed to know Kanda well enough to ignore the unspoken death threats. "Listen, Walker."
Allen stopped grinning to himself and smiled at him. "Yes, Kanda?"
He repressed the shudder that tingled up his spine. The familiarity was killing him. "I don't know who you are, or what you want, and I don't fucking care either. Just leave before I kill you."
Allen pouted. "I can't do that."
Kanda very nearly screamed. "Why not?"
The younger boy shrugged. "I'm not allowed to." He had an air around him that seemed to say; nothing about this particular meeting was out of the ordinary. It grated on Kanda's already thinning nerves.
"Whoever it is that's ordering you to stalk me," Kanda began, lethalness pouring out like acid in every strained word. "Tell them to fuck the hell off. And while you're at it, why don't you fuck off too." Kanda thought this would do the trick, if nothing else. No one was impervious to his vicious compulsive swearing.
However, Allen grinned lopsidedly at him, deeply amused. "Now that's a one way ticket to Hell."
"I'm already there, brat." Kanda seethed, quite upset that his 'talk'-for the first time in living history- hadn't worked.
Allen's crooked grin evened out and he was flat out smiling now. "Oh Kanda, you're so silly."
His smile was unnerving, this little boy with his strange face and strange hair seemed not to care that he was ready to make a shish kabob out of his abnormal head.
Just then the curly haired waitress returned, whose timing was superb whenever Kanda had that killing urge. She expertly balanced seven plates of soba and a cup of steaming hot tea in her arms.
"Thank you, it smells delicious." Allen praised, sniffing deeply at each plate lowered before him.
She hoped he'd be paying for all of that. She nodded warily at the food and turned to Kanda, giving him her best lipstick-on-her-teeth smile. "Can I get you some more tea? Soba?"
Kanda's meal lay untouched for the most part. He hardly finished a quarter of it before Allen pulled a Houdini and ruined his appetite. "Just my Check." He said, already nauseous seeing Allen nearly drool over his oversized soba.
Her smile dropped heavily on her pink cheeks. "Right away."
"She likes you, you know." Allen blabbered the minute she left, chopsticking the noodles into his fast working mouth. "I can tell, she was looking at you funny."
"I don't care." Kanda snapped, realizing too late he shouldn't be talking unless it was to swear at Allen.
The pale boy reached for his tea next. He brought it to his lips and took one long swig –which in all reason should have burnt his tongue off- and went back to his meal.
For the umpteenth time that afternoon, Kanda wondered where this strange creature had come from and why he hadn't knocked him out yet. "You're not normal." He mumbled darkly to himself.
Allen's attentive ears picked it up. "I never said I was." He smiled sheepishly as his storm cloud eyes glinted. He was definitely up to something and Kanda wanted no part of it.
In the middle of puzzling over that tone of voice, Kanda's check was dropped in front of him. He pulled out his wallet, placed two bills on the tray and stood up to leave.
Allen blinked curiously at him. "Leaving already? But I just got here."
Kanda glared down at him. "I'd better not see you again, or I will kill you."
His long legs quickly carried him out of Jerry's. Hungry and pissed off, he hoped that if he were fast enough, Allen wouldn't be able to tell which way he went.
- x -
He nearly reached his apartment, casting well-concealed glances over his shoulder to make sure no white haired freaks were following him home, when he spotted Lavi leaning against his door.
Kanda didn't have the patience to deal with this today, not that he ever did. "What are you doing?" He asked rather rudely while shoving his key into his lock.
"Waiting for you to get home." Lavi said in his least creepy voice. He stepped inside along with the take-out box he was holding before the door could slam shut in his face. "Obviously."
If it were anyone else –certain white haired little monsters- he would have slugged them for being so disturbing. However, this was Lavi. Waiting outside his condominium door for hours at a time wasn't unusual. Lavi always claimed he could be doing better things, and Kanda thought that probably wasn't true. Lavi enjoyed bothering him.
"So Yu-chan…" He started, and was given a nasty look for using that taboo name. "Whatever happened to getting lunch? Didn't you get my messages?"
"All five of them." Kanda intoned blandly. He perched himself on a barstool facing the countertop of his shiny kitchen.
The redhead was only too used to Kanda's unorthodox ways of being a friend. He sighed and opened the box, the smell of fresh tempura wafting out. "You have a phone Yu, use it once in a while, won't ya?" He slid over chopsticks. "Well I figured you'd be hungry, since you forget to eat and all, so I brought some lunch for you."
Kanda didn't forget anything. He sometimes had better things to do and it just slipped his mind. However, seeing as his soba lay unfinished in the restaurant, he was actually starving.
"Other than ignoring my calls," Lavi began teasingly, picking up a piece of broccoli tempura. "What have you done all day?"
Kanda found it hard to swallow. "Nothing." He lied. No one needed to know he might have himself a stalker he hadn't managed to get rid off. He convinced himself it was all due to the fact they were in a public place and he wouldn't be able to get away with murder without being seen. Lavi especially did not need to know. Lavi, who would laugh and probably choke on his tempura, cough it up and laugh all over again.
The redhead blew his flyaway bangs from his eyes. "You're so boring Yu. I swear if it wasn't for me you'd grow mold, or something."
"Tch. Shut up, baka." Kanda glared and bit off a piece of his food angrily.
The younger of the two grinned and they continued to eat in relative silence, with Lavi interjecting about how fabulous his day had been so far. After 15 minutes, Kanda stood up and declared he had to go change, leaving Lavi to do as he wished while he moved to his room.
Inside the privacy of his minimally decorated room, Kanda kicked off his boots and made his way to the antique vanity sitting directly in front of his king sized bed.
The fair face that reflected back at him was visually perfect, of course -not that he cared, or even noticed. Flawless skin and a body to match, but the eyes that stared back were deadly, always deadly. If these really were the window to his soul-what did that mean? Navy eyes narrowed and Kanda leaned closer to the mirror.
"You're awfully vain." A voice that belonged neither to Lavi nor him spoke, nearly spooking the crap out of him. "Aren't you?"
Kanda whirled around, eyes wild and ponytail whipping at the mirror behind him. "You!" He spat out, not really knowing whether he should swear or punch first. Or maybe try doing both in unison.
The very same stalker-freak Allen Walker smiled sweetly up at him, sitting cross-legged in the center of his ridiculously large bed. "Actually, it's Allen."
Kanda opened his mouth to speak and shut it again, temper flaring rapidly. This was not happening. This could not be happening. "Did that idiot let you in?" But even so, how had Kanda not notice him walk in?
Allen shrugged, "What idiot? The one in your living room eating all your crackers?"
Kanda clenched his fists tightly, ready to spring into action. Unreal couldn't describe what was happening. And pissed off, couldn't cover how he was feeling at the moment. If Lavi had indeed let this brat in-because he couldn't have gotten in otherwise-he'd have two faces to beat in.
The white haired boy blinked up at him, watching the murderous cloud accumulate over Kanda's high pony tailed head. "I came in through there. If you really wanted to know." A single pale finger pointed bone straight to Kanda's right.
Slowly the owner of the room turned his dark gaze in the direction of Allen's pointing finger. He stared…he didn't understand. He was looking at his wall length window. That was not possible. He lived on the second last floor and his window was always locked shut.
Allen once again broke through his concentration. "Kanda? Are you feeling ok?"
Kanda snapped. "Of course. I'm fucking fine. You didn't just break into my apartment and climb up twenty-three goddamn floors, on my building wall."
Allen frowned, deeply disturbed. "No, why would I do that?"
Kanda wanted to rip out every one of those terrible white strands of hair, shove it in a bag and then maybe whack him over the head with it. "What the hell do you want with me?! Couldn't you take a hint and leave me alone?"
That horrible white haired head titled to the side along with that deathly pale face. "It isn't much of a hint if you specifically told me not to follow you." It looked like Kanda was going to scream so he hurried onwards. "I might have said this already, but I have no choice when it comes to stalking you. Which I'm not." He finished quickly when the fist in front of him was closer to his face than it was five minutes ago.
"I'm not going to lie." Kanda said, face impossibly calm for someone in this sort of situation. "I don't know what to do with you."
"Let me stay with as little cursing as possible?" Allen supplied helpfully, still cross-legged, rumpling up the black satin bed sheets.
"As in," Kanda continued, pretending to have not heard what was just said. "I could kill you with my Mugen, or my fists."
Allen sighed and mumbled. "You can try…"
As if he'd just been granted permission he did not need, Kanda pulled back his tightly fisted hand and poor Allen Walker had no warning whatsoever, before that very same fist was smashing painfully into his dainty jaw.
Allen's head whipped back and his whole body was crashing into the firm mattress behind him upon impact. Kanda yanked his arm back and was about to deliver a second punch-maybe to that thick skull- when a hand shot out and gripped his arm firmly.
Allen gradually rose from his fallen position, all the while keeping a strangling left handed grip on the twitching arm inches from his jaw. With his free right hand, he righted his should-be-dislocated jawbones with a nauseating crack that Kanda felt snaking into the soles of his feet and into his toes.
No marks, no bleeding, no apparent signs of pain. Allen's face looked for all the world as if he hadn't just received the Kanda Death Punch. "That wasn't very nice, Kanda." Allen frowned at the stiff-backed Kanda.
The man before him stood baffled but hid it well. What was that right now? His normal victims would have been knocked unconscious and out of commission after an attack like that, not chastising him for bad behaviour. Then again, Allen was hardly normal.
Kanda's ignored guest took this moment to pop his unruly red head past the open bedroom door. "Yu-chan, don't tell me you've forgotten all about me! What's taking you?"
Lavi would have said more, but the peculiar sight before him made him stop. Very few things in life made Lavi shut up. To his one-eyed perfect vision, his self-proclaimed best friend had his fisted arm held stock straight out in front of him with no one to hit, body unnaturally rigid, even for Kanda. It kind of looked like he was posing in a one man tableau.
Kanda turned his head Lavi's direction, glare in place. How was he supposed to explain the strange boy on his bed? Not that Lavi deserved any explanations, but it looked…fishy.
Before Kanda could even try, Lavi walked up to him cautiously. "Um…Yu, you training solo again?"
"What?" Kanda asked, the first non-violent word to come out of his mouth all day. Lavi made no sense sometimes, and apparently, neither did he.
"Well, you do what you have to, but why is it always when I'm around." Lavi complained light-heartedly and plopped down on the bed in front of Kanda. Allen had to bounce backwards to avoid being sat on. "Sometimes I think you purposely do this just to avoid seeing me."
Kanda figured he might as well make a quick recovery, what with the way Allen was smiling deviously right behind the oblivious Lavi. "Che, obviously."
Lavi rolled his one emerald eye, "Either way, I came by to say I should be leaving soon. The old man's making me work the early, early shift tomorrow and I still have stuff to finish reading." Even knowing Kanda could hardly care less, he always felt the need to elaborate. "It's a Sunday dammit, the Library's not even open at five."
Kanda snorted, five was his normal waking time. "Whatever." Lavi stood up to leave and Kanda decided to test out something before his only clue left the room. "You." He started with the right amount of malice to cover up his burning question. "Something's different in here. What did you do?" He said it all while looking directly at Allen, who now laid spread out across his bed. If his mind could project neon-flashing arrows pointing to the ugliness on his sheets, it would have.
Lavi zeroed in on where Kanda's gaze left him, not really getting the question. He had a reputation of insanity yes, but to touch Kanda's sacred room? Oh hell no. "I swear I didn't do anything." He sniffed at the air and it smelt sweeter. "Maybe it's the new fabric softener you're using."
Kanda let out an even bigger snort, his deep-seated semi-fear confirmed, "Baka."
Lavi grinned and waved before leaving him for the day, "Night, Yu!"
The minute he left Allen sat up and Kanda let a feral growl rip out his throat, "What the hell was that?"
"What was what?" Allen asked, clueless. The devious grin on his face said otherwise.
Kanda lunged forward and grabbed onto his white collared shirt, yanking the light body almost right into his fierce looking face. "Don't play dumb with me, idiot. Answer me."
Allen smiled softly, unfazed. "I didn't think it would be appropriate for your guest to see me." His breath fanned out across the face so close to him and Kanda realized it smelt sweet…like the smell Lavi had noticed.
Shaking his head of the disturbing thought, he shook the boy in his arms. "What did you do?"
Allen glared back half-heartedly at Kanda, "Isn't it clear enough? What would it look like if your friend walked in on me sitting on your bed, when I obviously didn't come in through the front door while he was here?"
Kanda didn't pick up on the suggestiveness so palpable in Allen's tone. He was never very good with that sort of thing. "Like you climbed up and into my locked window?" He said it like Allen was the dim-witted one. "Which you did."
Allen groaned, "No, Kanda! It would have looked bad…dirty." Kanda still wasn't catching on. "Wrong, not right."
Kanda was choking him now. "Get to the point, brat."
Oh well, Allen would have to be blunt. "It would look as if I was your mistress. Only male."
The hands around his neck dropped as if his shirt had suddenly caught on fire, "What was that?!" He watched Allen shrug like stupidness didn't just come tumbling out of his sweet smelling mouth. He dislodged his thoughts quickly, moving on to more important matters. "You owe me an explanation. Who are you? And don't give me any half assed answers or I'll beat the shit out of you again."
Allen was secretly waiting for a moment he could explain himself without the hotheaded Kanda causing a public scene. "Last you tried, it didn't do you any good."
Kanda leaned his thighs against his vanity; he still couldn't believe his attack had no effect. "I'd like to know what the hell that was too."
A small white finger tapped at Allen's chin. The one that should have been a broken, bloody mess "Promise you'll listen and not start freaking out until I'm done?"
"Che. As if anything would surprise me now." He waited patiently for his intruder to begin his retarded tale.
"I sincerely hope not." Allen smiled timidly. "As you can tell, I'm not your average, everyday fifteen year old-"
"Tch, I thought you were ten."
"Can I finish please?" He glared at Kanda who scoffed and turned his head, "Because I'm not normal." Duh. "And I'm not exactly human." What? "Or well, I used to be. A long time ago." What the hell? "Are you following or just pretending to?"
Kanda blinked at the blabbering contradiction sitting on his bed. He was…not really alive as far as he could make out from his little fairytale. Yet Kanda could see him, and he did not see dead people. However, he defied science with his lack of reaction to pain and the disappearing act he pulled on Lavi. Not to mention he somehow slid into Kanda's booth this afternoon and slid into his apartment without Kanda noticing until he spoke. Kanda always noticed things.
Allen was murmuring quietly to himself by the time Kanda started to pay attention again. "-Maybe I should have put it differently…"
"My logic is telling me to kick your scrawny ass out of here and not believe a word." Kanda stated plainly.
"But…" Allen prompted. There was an underlying something that Kanda was having difficultly spitting out. Like a hairball lodged in a cats throat.
"I don't know and it's pissing me off." Kanda rubbed the bridge of his nose. His head started to pound softly.
Allen tried looking as non-threatening as possible. Which wasn't difficult for someone so small and skinny. "I don't want to scare you but…turn around and you'll have all the proof you need."
Kanda was unjustly creeped out only because he was told not to be. He convinced himself he had nothing to be creeped out by, none of this was real, and turned around to his vanity mirror not liking the fact that his back was now facing the dead person.
Allen waited silently as Kanda stared into the eyes of his own reflection. Was that brat trying to distract him so he could kill him, or something? There was absolutely nothing special about turning around only to have to look at himself. Nothing. All he saw apart from his face was the wide expanse of his bed and his bare, tawny wall. He grit his teeth, did he ever feel idiotic now.
The sheer silence from behind him continued and suddenly a mortifying thought hit him. He snapped his around to stare at Allen, who still sat behind him, still slightly to his right. Allen smiled crookedly but kept his mouth shut. He was waiting. Kanda flipped his face back around and glared holes into his defective mirror. Where Allen Walker's reflection should have been was only an empty bed slightly creased from use. Try as he may, and as much as he willed it to happen, Allen did not appear beside him in the mirror, crouched on his bed as he was.
And because punching Allen would only insult the sheer force of his fist, his stupid mirror took the beating instead.
- x -
Since Allen's always the "good guy" I was dying to write him in a situation where he wasn't (even though that too is a little complicated) Everyone has a little evil in them, no? Like Allen's non-poker playing poker face (the demented one). He just has a lot more evil in here :D
Allen will continue explaining what exactly he is and what he wants with Kanda next chapter. I didn't want to cram it all into the first part.
Feedback is greatly appreciated :)