About ten minutes had passed since his confrontation with Rory, and Logan now found himself in a crowded bar, sitting by himself at a table, nursing a scotch; a million different thoughts were running through his head at the moment. Part of him knew that he had overreacted; after all, Rory wasn't the only one who was still grieving and he was nowhere near ready to seriously consider the thought of another child. But another part of him couldn't help but feel a mixture of hurt, disappointment, anger. He knew having another baby would never fill the void Eli had left, and he would never bring another child into the world to replace the one he had lost, but he didn't want to hang onto the past. He didn't want what happened with Eli to refrain him and Rory from experiencing all of the wonderful emotions he had felt since the moment Rory had told him she was pregnant until the fateful day they discovered he had died.
He shouldn't have left. Rory was already upset when he had arrived and he had made things worse for her. He knew the right thing would be to pay for his drink, head home and have a talk with his wife to settle everything; but he couldn't bring himself to leave the room. He didn't feel ready to go home and talk with Rory yet.
About two hours later, Logan entered his home. Everything was dark except for a small lamp in the sitting area; he walked over there with the intention of turning the lamp off and heading towards his bedroom when he noticed Rory sleeping on the couch. Sighing, Logan took a seat next to her and softly ran his fingers through her hair. She stirred and a few seconds later, her eyes opened. They stared at each other for a while, neither of them saying anything. Then, Logan took one of Rory's hands and pulled her up. Silently, they walked into their bedroom and after shedding their clothes, got into bed.
"I'm sorry" Logan said once they had both settled in bed. He turned to lay on his side so that he could see her face. "Now is not the time to be having these conversations. I'm not ready to have another baby; I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you"
"It's ok, I know you're not trying to pressure me; but right now, I can't even entertain the thought of another child; how could I when all I can think about is Eli?" Rory asked, her voice trembling.
"I just don't want us to miss out on anything because we were scared" Logan said, looking into Rory's eyes, wiping her tears with his thumbs. "The worst thing that could happen to us already happened to us. But I don't want to be scared, Rory. I don't want to wake up ten years from now and realize all the things we missed because we were too afraid. I don't want to forget Eli, but I don't want us to hold back from experiencing all the things we would have if he were here"
Rory simply stared at Logan. She didn't really know what to say. Part of her agreed with him; she didn't want to be afraid for the rest of her life. But another part of her felt like she'd never be able to entertain the possibility of a new baby. She couldn't imagine herself pregnant again, giving birth and raising another child. Even though she'd said it mostly out of anger and annoyance before, she truly wondered if she was meant to have children. Maybe there was something wrong with her; if that was the case then she absolutely refused to put another child through what Eli had gone through. Rory kept these thoughts to herself, as she feared Logan wouldn't agree with her right now. She didn't want to start a new fight, and it wasn't the time to be discussing the subject anyway. She closed her eyes and willed herself to fall asleep.
Rory woke up the following morning to find a note on the bedside table. It was from Logan informing her that he was at the office and that he had called in sick for her at work. Sighing, Rory got out of bed and went inside the bathroom to take a shower. She immediately frowned at her reflection in the mirror; her eyes were red and puffy, her hair sticking out in a million different directions, tear marks on her cheeks. She quickly stripped and got into the shower.
About two hours later, Rory found herself sitting in a nearby café with Stephanie, whom she'd called after getting out of the shower. She was beginning to regret that decision since her friend seemed completely incapable of taking her eyes off of her.
"Stop staring at me, Steph!" Rory exclaimed impatiently for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes.
"I'm sorry! Why won't you just tell me what's wrong? You can't deny there's a problem, just look at you!" Steph was becoming impatient as well. They had been sitting in the café for the last forty five minutes, and Rory still refused to talk about whatever had happened. And Stephanie had the sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with Logan. "Sweetie, what is it?" Steph asked in a much more gentle tone, reaching out to cover her hand with her own.
"Logan wants to have more kids" Rory said softly, avoiding Steph's eyes.
"Right now?" Steph couldn't keep the scepticism out of her voice. She didn't think neither of them was ready to have another child.
"No, not right now. In a year or so" Rory replied in a small voice. Steph examined her friend closely.
"You don't think it's a good idea" It was more of a statement rather than a question.
"I don't know, it's too soon to be thinking about it. I can't imagine myself with another baby; right now all I can think about is Eli" Rory met Stephanie's eyes for the first time since the beginning of the conversation.
"So, you got into a fight with Logan because of this?" Steph asked gently.
"Sort of; he got upset when I said I didn't think I wanted more kids and he left. He came back like two hours later and he apologized. He said he didn't want to pressure me" again, Rory's eyes drifted across the room, avoiding her friend.
"It seems to me it might be a bit soon to even be having this conversation" Steph said as gently and tactfully as she could. "How about we go do a little shopping, just us girls? Might take your mind off of things for a while" she suggested. Rory looked at her while she contemplated her friend's proposal. It would definitely feel nice to think about other things and spend some time with Steph.
"Sure" Rory answered, before signalling the waiter for the check. After paying, they stood up, collected their things and headed towards the nearest clothing store.
Later that day, Logan found himself standing inside his childhood home. He needed to have a word with his father about one of their recently acquired newspapers, so he was now waiting for the maid to announce his presence to his father. A few minutes later, he was sitting in front of his father's desk.
"What can I do for you, son?" asked Mitchum as he poured scotch in two glasses and handed one to Logan. Mitchum took a seat behind his desk and waited for Logan to begin talking.
They spent the following half hour speaking business, among other things. As Logan spoke, Mitchum couldn't help but notice his son's appearance. Though he never voiced his thoughts, Mitchum had been very concerned for Logan the past month. He looked exhausted, he was easily irritated and more often than not, he found Logan silently staring off in space, as if he was in deep thought. Mitchum knew things had been extremely difficult for Logan and Rory individually. Each of them dealing with their grief in their own way; but lately he had noticed the obvious strain between the couple. He had witnessed a few quarrels here and there between them; it seemed as if the air was different now, it lacked its usual warmth. All in all, Mitchum was concerned for his son's marriage. Logan had lost enough, and Mitchum couldn't help but wonder if his son could get over losing Rory as well.
"So, how are you Logan?" Mitchum attempted to sound nonchalant.
"I'm fine, dad" Logan replied, not taking his eyes off of the paper he was holding.
"How's Rory?" Mitchum tried again to get a conversation going.
"She's fine too" It seemed talking with Logan would be a bit more difficult than Mitchum had anticipated.
"I heard she called in sick this morning. Is everything alright?" Mitchum asked cautiously. At this, Logan looked up with a look of surprise in his face.
"She wasn't feeling all that well, so I called in sick for her. I didn't think it'd be a problem" A frown appeared in Logan's features.
"It's no problem. No problem at all; I was just wondering if she's alright" Mitchum said looking carefully at his son. It seemed Logan was doing his best to conceal his emotions.
"She's just a bit tired" Logan replied with a tone that made it clear the conversation was over. "I've got to head back to the office" He said, standing up.
"Alright, I'll see you and Rory next week then" Mitchum said while shaking Logan's hand.
"Next week?" Logan asked puzzled.
"For that benefit your mother's been organizing with the DAR ladies for the American Heart Association" Mitchum reminded his son.
"Right, the benefit. We'll see you then" And with that Logan left the room.
The following days passed uneventfully for Rory and Logan. Both of them were immersed in their respective works and refused to talk about the incident or anything related to it. They were now getting ready to attend the American Heart Association benefit. After they were both dressed and ready to go, they headed out to Logan's car and after getting in, they drove in complete silence.
They arrived and after leaving their coats, they headed inside the ballroom where the benefit was taking place to begin making the rounds. Logan softly placed his hand on Rory's back and guided her towards his parents. They made polite small talk for a few minutes and then headed in a different direction to talk to some of Logan and Rory's co-workers.
They spent the next few hours talking to people they barely knew and had to endure the old gossiping ladies from the DAR telling them how sorry they were for Eli's death; but Logan and Rory both knew all they were trying to do was find out more information about what had happened. All in all, they were exhausted after only three hours of being there. In fact, Rory was looking paler and paler by the minute and so Logan decided it was best to leave early. He decided to find his parents and inform them that he was leaving.
"Logan, darling there you are!" Shira exclaimed in a delighted tone. "I've been meaning to have a word with you. I've just bumped into the Fallons, and guess who's with them tonight" Logan could tell from his mother's expression whatever she was about to say he wouldn't like.
"I don't know mom, who?" He responded tiredly.
"Their daughter, Olivia. You remember Olivia, right Logan?" Shira asked and before Logan could reply he found himself face to face with the infamous Olivia Fallon, the girl his mother had been trying to set him up with for years. He could feel his blood boiling.
"Nice to see you again, Olivia" He quickly said before any of them could say anything else. He turned to his mother and told her he was leaving and quickly left before she had a chance to react. He found his father and mentioned the 'incident' with the Fallon girl and told him they were leaving as well. He could tell his father was not happy with Shira's action and couldn't help but feel a wave of gratitude and appreciation towards his father. Without another word, Logan guided Rory towards their car and drove home in silence again.
Once they got out of the car and into the house, they headed towards their bedroom to change for bed. Rory was currently in the bathroom wiping off her make-up while Logan remained in the bedroom, taking off his suit. He had already slid out of his jacket and shirt, when Rory came back into the room and asked him to unzip her dress for her. Logan carefully pulled down the zipper and helped her out of the gown, leaving her clad in her underwear; a black, silk thong and a matching bra.
He made her sit on the bed with her back towards him and began rubbing her shoulders, noticing how tense she was. She immediately began moaning in appreciation at the attention she was receiving from her husband. This was the most intimate they'd been since before Eli's death.
After a few minutes, Logan took a careful seat behind Rory and began tenderly kissing and nibbling her neck and shoulders. He was trying to gauge her reaction, and continued further once he noticed she seemed to like what he was doing. He was being as slow and gentle as possible, since they hadn't been intimate in over two months. After a few minutes of trailing kisses on her back, he turned her around to face him and kissed her lips passionately. Her hands went to his hair while he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He slowly lowered her onto the mattress as his hands found the clasps of her bra. He lifted her a little so that he could unhook it and pulled the straps down her shoulders, planting kisses on her shoulders as he did this. Then he proceeded to kiss her chest and between her breasts, his hands playing with them, caressing them, eliciting moans of pleasure from Rory.
Feeling more than a bit constricted in his pants, Logan stood up and began taking off his pants and boxers, along with his shoes and socks. Rory took this opportunity to sit up and begin kissing his stomach and chest, as her hands found him and softly stroked him up and down. Logan was groaning with pleasure and after a minute or so decided it was enough attention from her. He kissed her lips and lowered her back on the bed, lying on top of her. His hands immediately went to her hips, grabbing hold of her panties and lowering them down her legs until he pulled them off completely. They kissed passionately, their hands caressing each other. Logan slipped a finger inside her to discover she was soaking wet.
Normally, Logan would spend a healthy amount of time pleasuring her with his hands and mouth, but they hadn't made love in over two months and the stress and tension of everything that had happened had built up in them. He needed a release soon and he was sure Rory did too. He positioned himself at her entrance and just as he was about to enter her he felt her freeze. He pulled back to look at her face and noticed she was tense. Before he could do or say anything, Rory softly pushed him off of her. To say Logan was puzzled and more than a bit frustrated was an understatement.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this; I, uh, I don't know what's wrong with me, I just-" Rory began stuttering.
"It's ok" Logan said somewhat unconvincingly. He was taking deep breaths so as to try and calm himself down. He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "I'm going to take a shower" He said and left the room. A minute later, Rory could hear the water running in the bathroom and slowly, she slid inside the covers after putting on a shirt. About ten minutes later, Logan emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of dark blue boxers, his hair obviously damp from the shower. Without uttering a word, he got inside the bed and turned off the lights.
"Logan…" Rory said hesitatingly.
"Hmm…" Was all she got in response. He didn't sound mad, but there was definitely coolness to his tone.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me" she said. His back was towards her so she couldn't see his face.
"It's ok; you shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to" he said. For a minute, nothing but silence could be heard and Rory was on the verge of tears. He'd never been this cold to her, even if his tone said otherwise; she knew he was deeply hurt by what had happened. She snuggled into the covers, hugging her pillow when she felt one of Logan's hands pull her towards him. She positioned herself right behind him, slinging one of her arms around him. She couldn't help but think, even lying right next to him, that she had never felt such distance between them. Silence was all that could be heard in the room.
Rory and Logan were having breakfast in silence the following morning. Since the 'incident' last night, things had been a bit awkward and tense between them. Once she had finished, Rory stood up and put her used glass and plate inside the dishwasher and got ready to leave for work. Rory was editor of The Hartford Courant, a very prominent newspaper in Connecticut. She gathered her briefcase and all the papers she needed, and shyly bid Logan goodbye from the doorstep. Once she had left, Logan sighed loudly and mimicked her actions, getting ready to leave for work as well. Though he was usually very busy, Logan's schedule was a bit more flexible than Rory's. As he was in charge of overseeing the latest acquisitions of Huntzberger publishing, he could work from home from time to time and didn't have to spend entire days in just one paper. He sincerely hoped his day would improve, for God knew he could do with a more cheerful mood. Sighing once again, Logan gathered his things and left for work.
Rory sighed as she sat on the chair behind her desk at her office. She could feel the headache that was sure to come and glanced at the clock, it was barely eleven and she was already exhausted. Of course, she had gotten a grand total of two hour's sleep at most the night before. The fight with Logan had been draining, and the following morning had been extremely awkward as neither had said much but the silence itself seemed to speak volumes. A knock on the door pulled Rory from her thoughts.
"Hey, I brought you something" said the man entering the room. His name was Mark Ackerman and he was the Head of the Sports Department at the Hartford Courant. One might assumed that, due to the department he was heading, and her lack of knowledge or interest in the topics developed by said department, that they wouldn't have much in common, but as it turned out, they hit it off quite well and had grown to develop and nice friendship since Rory had become the Editor.
"Is that coffee I smell?" Rory asked hopefully, without opening her eyes.
"Maybe" was Mark's playful reply. "Why don't you open your eyes and see for yourself?" he approached her desk and sat opposite her.
"Smells heavenly, so it must be coffee" Rory said, opening her eyes and pulling her chair closer to the desk. "Would I be correct in assuming that that cup you're currently holding in your hand is actually a large, black…"
"Coffee with two sugars" he finished for her. "Naturally" Mark said with a smug grin, handing her the cup. "Looked like you could use it."
"This is heavenly" Rory exhaled after her first sip. "So, what brings you here to my humble abode?"
"Please, there's nothing humble about your abode. It's twice as big as my office and you've even got a bed in here" Mark said eyeing her office for the umpteenth time.
"This office jealousy thing is getting old. You're not getting a bigger office" she said firmly. "Is that what this is about?" Rory asked, motioning the now empty cup of coffee. Mark laughed.
"Please, if this was about a new office I'd have to do a lot better that this, like bring you some prime Colombian beans for you to grind and snort"
"So, to what do I owe this visit?" Rory asked while grabbing some of the articles that her secretary had placed on her desk for her to proof.
"Can't just a friend bring a friend a cup of coffee without there being an ulterior motive?" Mark asked in what he hoped was his most offended-sounding voice. "I'm hurt"
"What do you want?" Rory asked in a bored voice.
"Is this how you treat all of your friends? Because I'm starting to understand why they never come to visit" at Rory's sharp look he quickly changed his tune. "Fine, I wanted to see if you could set me up with your secretary" Mark said, waiting for her reaction.
"You want me to set you up with my secretary?" Rory asked incredulously. She began to laugh after a few seconds.
"What's so funny?" Mark asked in a truly offended voice now.
"You're a grown man Mark, get your own dates" Rory said, while still laughing.
"Fine, but I would just like to tell you that you suck" he said heading towards the door.
"I'm still your boss" she reminded him happily.
"You still suck" Mark said teasingly, leaving her office.
Despite being able to manage his working hours, Logan had spent much of his time going from newspaper to newspaper, finding things to do. The situation with Rory was getting more and more difficult by the day and, more often than not, he chose to keep himself occupied in order to avoid fighting with his wife.
A few hours later, Logan found himself in his office at The Hartford Advocate, the paper he had been overseeing lately. There wasn't much to do, except for proofing a few articles and taking a look at the serial to make sure it was acceptable. In other words, Logan was bored and decided to place a call to a friend.
"Colin McRae" Logan heard his friend answer after a few rings.
"Hey man" he said.
"Logan?" asked Colin surprised.
"You don't have to sound so surprised Colin" Logan said dryly.
"Well, you never call me" his friend replied. Logan chuckled.
"Feeling abandoned, huh?" he teased.
"Is there a point to this call, Huntzberger? Because some of us have to earn a living, in case you didn't know" Colin remarked.
"Yes, I'm well aware of your monetary issues" Logan said ironically. "I was just calling to see if you're available for tonight. I was thinking we could organize a little get together with the boys"
"Sure, I could use a break" Colin said after a moment.
"Hear, hear" Logan replied somewhat bitterly. Colin frowned at this.
"Everything okay back at home?" he asked concernedly.
"We've been better" Logan admitted in a somewhat sad voice. Colin hesitated, a bit thrown off by his friend's words and tone of voice.
"Anything you want to talk about?" Colin prodded gently. Logan wasn't one to openly discuss his love life, especially when having problems.
"I don't want to keep you. I'll see tonight then, say around eight at my place?" Logan asked.
"Sure, sounds great" Colin replied.
"Great, call Finn and inform him, will you?" Logan asked.
"Will do, man. See ya" and with that, Colin hung up the phone. Logan remained in silence for a minute and then got back to work.
Rory was exhausted. It was now seven o'clock and she was still swamped with work. Three reporters had called in sick that morning and so the Courant had been a complete chaos that day. In fact, the only break she'd had all day was when Mark had brought her the coffee.
She had spent the entire morning going from one place to another, talking to everyone at the newsroom, proofing the articles that had been handed in, and making sure the articles she had assigned to those who had called in sick would be handed in before the deadline. All in all, by the time eight thirty rolled around, Rory was completely drained and more than ready to go home and crawl into bed. But it seemed her darling husband had different plans.
Rory opened the door to her house and immediately dropped her portfolio by the door. She kicked off her shoes, making a mental note to pick them up in the morning, and was just about to head straight into the bedroom when she heard laughter, that didn't belong to her husband, coming from the sitting area. Once she got there, she realized the laughter belonged to none other than Colin and Finn. Rory bit back a groan. She adored Colin and Finn, but today she was simply too tired to deal with them. She tried to sneak out of the room unnoticed but Colin spotted her before she could leave.
"Hey, Ror!" he greeted her from his spot on the couch in front of the TV. At this, Finn took notice of her as well.
"Hello, love! Always such a pleasure to see you" Finn said charmingly. Rory offered them a tight smile and waved at them.
"Hey guys" she said, a bit shyly. She tried to look as though everything was normal but it didn't seem to work very well.
"I'm getting a sense that the woman of the house had no idea we were going to be here" Colin said to no one in particular.
"Ok that we're here, love?" Finn asked her. At that moment, Logan appeared holding a bottle of Scotch and a few glasses.
"Of course it's okay" Logan said. "I invited you"
"Logan, I haven't called you love since that sultry night in Bimini." Finn replied, attempting to lighten up the very obvious tense mood.
"It's fine that you're here, guys. You're always welcome" she said but it was clear there was something not okay. Finn and Colin remained quietly staring at Rory while Logan busied himself pouring scotch in the glasses. He handed one to Colin and one to Finn and grabbed one for himself, as Rory silently left the room and headed to her own. Colin and Finn turned their heads to look at Logan but it took about a minute for Logan to realize this.
"What?" he asked somewhat defensively. He didn't like the look on his friends' faces one bit.
"Aren't you going to go after her?" Colin asked him, raising his eyebrows.
"What do you mean?" Logan asked confusedly.
"She's obviously upset about something, mate. Aren't you going to go find out what's bothering her?" asked Finn, sounding unusually sober.
Logan remained quiet for a minute, clearly going over the events from before in his mind. He sighed and placed his glass on the small table in front of him and stood up to go after his wife. He entered their room and stopped at the threshold. Rory was lying on her side on the far end of the bed with her back to him. Even from where he was standing he could tell she was exhausted. She still had her work clothes on; she hadn't even bothered to remove the clip holding her hair in a tight bun. He silently walked over to her but once he was by her side, he noticed she had fallen asleep. He figured it'd be better to just let her sleep as much as possible; she seemed like she needed it and, to make matters worse, his father had insisted they go to dinner the following night with him and Shira at their house, so she'd better be rested for tomorrow. He grabbed a blanket and covered her with it and then left to room to go join his friends again.
Hello everyone! I'm still alive and well, as proven by this miraculous update! I hope you guys like this chapter, it's sort of a combo between the original chapter mixed with a few new things and a bit of what used to be chapter five, so please tell me what you think! Love!