Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my college loan debt. Yadda Yadda Yadda.
Stephenie Meyer owns it all.
Thank you to Crystalnicoleyo and MyHubby is no Edward for reading over my crap and making it better.
Parts of this were taken word for word from their brilliant suggestions.
Let's give Jacob his happy ending, shall we? Be prepared for some serious fluff.
"Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything."
--Everything by Lifehouse
Chapter 40: Finally Where I Belong
Jacob shut down the roaring engine of my truck, pausing briefly while casting me a sideways glance and then slowly opened up the door and climbed out. Neither of us spoke a word since he told me we were "making up." He reached across the seats, pulling me over and helping me out the driver's door. Once my feet hit the ground, his hand engulfed mine, he pushed the door closed, and we walked through the dark toward his house.
"You know," I said, finally breaking the silence while turning so I was standing in between him and the door with my hands rested lightly on his chest. "They're going to come looking for us. My truck doesn't exactly make the smoothest of exits."
"I don't care," he said smiling, gently pushing me aside and unlocking his door, motioning for me to go ahead inside. I sighed, shooting him a pointed look before moseying on in. Once the door was closed behind us for the second time that day, he turned to me and grinned, his eyes dancing with intensity.
"Ah, alone at last," he said, taking a single step toward me as I playfully took one back, further from him. He cocked his head to the side, assessing my action, and then slowly shook it back and forth, chuckling lightly.
Another step forward—another back.
"What, you think I'm going to attack you?" he asked, his voice filled with amusement as he took yet another step forward in sync with my retreating one. "You know if I really wanted to catch you, I could in an instant, right?"
"That's what you think," I said, smiling impishly, crossing my arms in front of my chest in defiance.
He raised his eyebrows at me, staring me down as if he were truly sizing me up. Then, after a moment, he simply shrugged, turning around like he was going to head away from me and toward the kitchen. I was just about to ask him to wait, but before I could even anticipate his next move, he was turned around so fast and coming toward me in a flash of russet and black. He scooped me up effortlessly as I let out a startled shriek, throwing me over his shoulder and walking me back the small hallway toward the only place he could truly call his own. I didn't even bother struggling, didn't try to suppress my elated giggles as he laid me gently down on his bed, the scent of him automatically surrounding and taking me over.
"Anything else you dare to compete with me on?" he asked, climbing on top of me, his eyes looking impossibly darker against the blackness of the room. The pale moonlight was outlining his features, causing his skin to glow softly above me. My eyes locked on his, my chest suddenly rising and falling at a much quicker pace as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me.
He kissed me softly, the taste of him automatically flooding my senses as his hands slowly began to lower his weight, allowing him to press more of himself against me. In that instant, I was overcome with so much emotion, so much love for him it was almost too much to handle. The moment was perfect; everything about him equaled up to everything that I was, everything that I would ever be. The next thing I knew, his weight was fully against me as his hands found their way into my hair and we rolled onto our sides, our legs slightly entangled. He pulled his lips away from mine, but kept our foreheads pressed together, our noses touching, both of us breathing deeply.
"We don't have to do anything," he said, his voice just above a whisper. "We can just lie here, like this. It's enough for me."
"It's not enough for me," I said, my hands reaching for his face, tracing over the curves the dim light revealed to me. "I want you so bad I feel like—"
"You could die?" he asked, his breath sweeping across and hitting my face, his hands lacing through my hair, soothingly brushing it off my forehead.
"Yes," I breathed, closing my eyes and pressing my lips once to his. His nose rubbed against mine, his body shimmying even closer, tangling himself further into me.
"I know the feeling," he whispered, lowering his hands down my back.
We were both silent for a moment, two hearts combining and beating into one rhythmic pace. We both knew our fathers were most likely going to arrive at any moment; it was unspoken knowledge, an unwanted barrier that was stopping us from completely giving into the desire and need that was so obviously consuming us.
"I wanted you for so long that I can hardly believe any of this is happening," he finally said into the dark, his fingers idly tracing circles against the thin fabric of my shirt. "I love you so much, Bella. I don't even know how it's possible to feel this way, to love someone to the point that it literally hurts, but it somehow is. It somehow does."
"I know the feeling," I said quietly, repeating his former statement.
I could tell that he was smiling, could feel it in the way his mouth moved as his lips pressed to mine again. The kiss was longer and deeper, his hands sliding beneath the back of my shirt, my body arching in and pressing more firmly against him. He groaned softly in response to our connection, his hips automatically moving with mine, his arms pulling me impossibly closer.
"I know," I whispered in response to his pleasurable reverberation. "I know how it feels."
He buried his face into my neck, breathing in my hair, our bodies slowly starting to build a friction we were both desperately craving.
The headlights illuminating the room weren't unexpected, but that didn't make it any easier to pull away. Jacob cursed under his breath, muttering something about "third time in one day" and then reluctantly climbed away from me and out of bed. He offered me his hand, helping me up to smooth my hair, making me presentable as we both walked out hand-in-hand to wait for the "dynamic duo" in the living room. We were carefully positioned on the couch facing each other, when Charlie came through the front door pushing Billy in front of him. We both acted slightly surprised to see them, Jake automatically standing to help Billy inside.
"Hey dad, Charlie," he said casually, nodding at my dad and wheeling his further into the room. I wasn't as good of an actor as he was, but I managed a smile as I turned around on the couch to greet them. I wanted to curse myself when my face instantly flushed in response to the way both of them were exchanging dubious glances between Jacob and I.
"Hey, Bells," Charlie said, leaning his palms against the back of the couch, looking uncomfortable, "we were wondering where the two of you ran off to so fast."
He looked at me expectantly, quickly glancing over at Jacob, before locking his eyes on mine again.
I shifted nervously and cleared my throat before running a hand through my hair. "We just really needed some time alone so we could talk," I said, surprising myself at how convincing I sounded. I guessed I owed that to the fact that what I was saying somewhat represented the truth. We did want to be alone. Then for good measure, I added, "You know, with everything that has been going on lately, we have a lot to discuss."
I unintentionally held in my breath as I waited for him to respond, hoping he'd quickly buy into my excuses.
"Well," he said eventually with a sigh, "I'm definitely not messing with that." He glanced over at Billy and they exchanged a look, both smiling, as I attempted to avoid Jacob's burning stare, diverting my gaze to the floor.
"I guess I'm going to head home then," Charlie continued. "Bella, you'll be home by midnight?"
I simply nodded while silently thanking God. I watched him closely as he smiled and caught Jake's gaze. "And, I hope you two work everything out."
"That's the idea," Jacob said returning his smile, Charlie finally saying his goodbyes and heading out the door.
That left Jacob, Billy, and I. Wonder who was the purple elephant in the room? I could practically feel the frustration and tension radiating in the air between us as we waited for Billy to say he was going to head to bed. Of course, luck was never on our side and that didn't happen. Instead he mumbled something about being hungry, despite eating several hot dogs at the fire, and went on into the kitchen. The moment he was out of the room, Jake looked at me with such desperation; I couldn't help but to laugh.
"Relax," I said to him quietly, taking his hand into mine and pulling him down on the couch beside me. I lifted our entwined hands to my mouth and lightly kissed his in an effort to calm him. However, in our current heightened state that simple gesture somehow turned into an erotic one, only causing him to groan in despair and pull his hand away.
"You just keep your hands to yourself," he said, just as Billy returned back into the room with a bag of chips and a beer rested on his wheelchair table. He propped himself in front of the TV, turning it on and flicking through the channels. Jacob caught my gaze and silently motioned his head toward the front door. I realized his intentions and nodded.
"Anything you'd like to watch?" Billy suddenly asked in our direction.
"No," Jacob replied a little too quickly. "Um, actually Bella and I are going to head out to the garage."
Even from his profile, Billy's smile was undeniable. "Alright," he said causally, almost as if he were anticipating it. "You two just behave yourselves."
I blushed and Jacob groaned. "Okay, dad," he said, standing to his feet and looking at me. "I'll meet you out there. I have to use the bathroom first."
I nodded yet again and said goodnight to Billy before hurrying out the front door, finally free from the embarrassment.
I stood just inside the entrance of the garage, trying to wait patiently as my stomach twisted and turned into a ball of nerves and excitement. I wasn't sure what Jacob had in mind, but somehow I highly doubted I was going to leave here today without at least one of us getting our fix. I wasn't the most experienced and I didn't possess a great wealth of knowledge when it came to the male anatomy, but I was smart enough to realize that getting all heated only to be let down had a worse effect on him than it did on me.
As a distraction technique, I let my eyes drift over the contents of my small safe harbor. I eagerly drank in the wooden work bench lined with tools I never knew existed, the empty soda cans that I tried to convince Jacob to recycle, and the small outdated radio he and I often listened to when he worked on our motorcycles in the past or his Rabbit. I walked toward the small red car that I learned to love so much, running my fingers lightly over the hood as I tried picturing a time when Jacob was only a friend to me and nothing more. The idea was impossible, ludicrous even, as I closed my eyes and pictured Jacob's warm, russet skin, broad shoulders, and perfectly sculpted body as he hovered over me, making me feel things I never thought possible. I felt my teeth sink into the delicate flesh of the bottom of my lip as a distinct shudder coursed through my body.
"What are you thinking about?"
His voice startled me, as I jumped, quickly turning around to find him leaning against the doorway with a suggestive glint in his eyes. I instinctively brought my hand up and placed it on my now rapidly beating heart.
"God, Jacob," I said, instantly getting lost in the intensity of his stare. "You scared the crap out of me."
"I'm sorry," he said sounding slightly distracted, as he slowly began stalking in my direction, his eyes dark and intense, practically burning into mine. We were alone at last and we both knew it.
I unconsciously leaned my backside into the metal of the vehicle behind me, resting my palms on either side of me, shifting my weight back onto them.
"You didn't answer my question," he said once he was standing directly in front of me as he brought his hands up and placed them on my upper arms, gently rubbing up and down. The spark from his touch ignited a fire within me and suddenly everything was too much, he was standing too close, and my mind was overcome.
"I uh…just thinking about…Rabbit…and soda cans," I mumbled, my thoughts and words completely incoherent as his lips started their agonizingly, unhurried descent toward mine.
Suddenly, my face was in his hands, his fire spreading across the bare skin of my cheeks, hot embers surrounding me completely. "I thought we'd never be alone," he nearly whispered, his breath swirling into my world and bringing it to life.
His lips touched mine, soft silk and molten lava, and it wasn't enough. It was too light, he was too far away, and my body couldn't take it anymore. My arms flung around his neck, everything I had slamming against his as I kissed him hungrier, curling my fingers in the hair at the base of his neck and pulling him closer. He pressed into me, arms encircling my body, sending a scorching trail through the back of my shirt, sliding lower and lower as our tongues danced. The only sound to be heard was the uneasy hum of our heavy breathing, signifying how alone we finally were. I was completely lost in him, the garage, the time, the prospect of Billy coming, everything around me disappearing. I vaguely felt his hands descend to my hips, gripping them firmly and pushing me slightly away. His mouth left mine, leaving me breathless and confused as he rested his forehead against mine with his eyes closed.
"Jake," I whispered, because there was no way I could find my voice to speak, "please don't stop."
His hands were between us, sliding up my body, tracing up my arms, my collar, and my neck, finally reaching my lips. His eyes opened and met my desperate ones. "We need to slow down," he said softly, his hands finding their way into my hair. "I want this to be different than last time."
I simply nodded; everything about him stole my breath away. Everything about me now belonged exclusively to him, my breathing, my heartbeat, my life. I felt his hands descend to my hips again, reaching under the back of my thighs, with his eyes locked on mine he lifted me effortless. My legs automatically wrapped around him, clinging to him in anticipation of the moments of pleasure sure to come. He carried me around to the front of the Rabbit, gently setting me down on the hood. He tapped my nose gently once, leaned in and kissed me delicately before walking over to his work bench and turning on the radio. He fumbled with the stations, turning the volume down until it was a soft and quiet purr of soothing melodies, and then walked back over to me. I watched him eagerly as he seductively slide down to squat before me, slowly removing my shoes. Once that task was complete, he found his place between my legs, reaching around me and sliding me closer to him. He smiled, lighting up my life, before bringing his lips to mine again. He kissed me slowly and sensually, my arms finding their way around him as the soothing melody swirled around us and nothing else mattered but him and me.
"You are everything to me," he said just above a whisper, his lips kissing along my jaw and down my neck. I remembered the last time he spoke those words just one day prior, my miserable reality had come crashing down on me, and now I couldn't believe that so much had changed in such a short span of time. But somehow it did, because he was everything to me, too. I had chosen the fire, the sun, hot over cold. I had chosen life.
I didn't have to say it out loud for him to know my response; he could feel it in the way my body arched into his, in the way my hands slid down his back and drew him closer. I frowned at the feel of the thin material separating me from what I wanted. "Why are you wearing a shirt?" I asked, and he laughed softly, his body slightly shaking against mine with the effort.
"I could ask you the same," he said, pulling back to smirk at me, his eyes scanning down my body and drinking me in. Once they were locked on mine again, I bunched my hands around the hem at the bottom of my shirt and watched a wide-eyed Jacob as I pulled it slowly over my head, letting it fall from my fingertips and slide down the hood. I could feel my hair feathering around my shoulders, falling in between the small crease between my breasts. Jacob's breathing increased, his eyes automatically drawn to that area, and I wasn't embarrassed. He made me feel sexy and beautiful, like I could be anything, go anywhere, and do anything, as if was anything was possible. His hand reached out and slowly touched the bare flesh of my stomach causing me to tremble, as he continued and traced up to touch the revealed flesh just above the top of my bra. Gently, he brushed my hair out of the way, his eyes meeting mine again and smiling. "No one could ever be as beautiful as you are," he said sincerely before pulling his own shirt over his head and finding my lips with his again.
Our arms were around each other again; our bodies connected, flesh to flesh, cream to fire. He tried to lean me back slightly on the hood, tried to get a better angle as his hands worked with the clasp on my bra, but I kept slipping down. After that happened for the third time, my body sliding down into his, we both pulled back and I couldn't help but to giggle, Jacob sighing in frustration. As soon as he saw me laughing, he started laughing as well, impossible not to find amusement in our attempts at a perfect romantic moment. The truth was, we were pretty awkward, him much larger than me, both of us incredibly inexperienced. But that was what made us Jacob and Bella, and I wouldn't change it for anything.
A fraction later, I heard him mumble something that sounded like "damn Turtlewax" under his breath as he stood tall and shook his head, his eyes darting around the room in search of a better idea. I watched as they lit up for a second, him reaching under me and lifting me up again before carrying me over to the back of the Rabbit. "Let's try this again," he said with a grin, opening the hatch and gently setting me down inside the open area. Apparently he had the back seat pushed down, giving me more room to slide back.
He was in between my open legs again a second later, our mouths meeting, and our hands frantically searching. I pulled him closer against me, my hands reaching down and fumbling with the top button of his jeans. His lips pulled away from mine as we both looked down and watched me undo the button and slide down the zipper. My heartbeat skipped in sync with his as I slid my hands inside, gently tugging them down over his narrow hips and watching them fall to the floor. My hands were trembling as I reached them inside of his boxers, Jacob and I both gasping when I touched him for the first time. Our eyes met again, his gaze hooded and intense, literally melting me on the spot. I loved the way he felt—soft, large, and firm, but he didn't allow me much time to explore. Before long, he was grabbing my wrists and stopping me, gently pulling my hands away. My eyes questioned his but he just shook his head and swallowed thickly before kissing me again. I felt myself being pushed back, my elbows holding up my weight as Jacob hovered over me, one of his hands between us working on the button of my jeans. His mouth found my jaw as his fingertips tugged on my zipper; his lips found my neck as he gingerly slid the denim down over my hips with my assistance.
Our movements were slower this time, the walls of the Rabbit wrapping around us and encompassing us in our moment of magic. Our hands explored each other gently, as if we were discovering new terrain for the first time. Our eyes devoured our very existence, seeing past the depths of our souls. And our hearts raced as if time was almost obsolete, as if the moment was not enough. I felt my bra clasp open, Jacob kissing the straps down over my shoulders, exposing me completely. My underwear was gone an instant later, and his boxers were lowered soon after. Nothing was rushed, everything awkwardly beautiful, with the occasional bump of the head or knack of the knee. Few words were spoken; our breathing laced with the soft purr of the music provided a sensual melody of passion.
I knew it was finally time as I watched the man I love open a condom that he had pulled out of his pocket earlier, and then slide it on. I wasted no time wrapping my thighs around him and pulling him further into the Rabbit with me as I felt my back meet the rough surface. I could feel him rubbing against me, exactly where I needed him most as my lips let out an involuntary whimper. I heard him take in a deep breath, his dark eyes meeting mine, as he reached down and lined himself up perfectly with my entrance.
"Tell me if you need me to stop," he said, his voice low and husky, just before I nodded and felt him slowly push inside of me. The feeling, the moment of completeness was indescribable, no words could ever do it justice.
I bit down on my bottom lip, feeling the light pain mixing with an intense pleasure, Jacob's eyes locking on mine and watching me closely. His brow was furrowed, his breathing escalated, and his mouth slowly parted. Once he filled me completely, he groaned softly and our hips started moving in a rhythmic dance. His features relaxed, my hands reaching up and tracing the curves of his face, memorizing how beautiful he looked when he was feeling nothing but pure ecstasy. He brought his mouth to mine again as our movements increased in pace, our kisses growing more desperate and hungry. The pain I felt had subsided and was slowly being replaced with an inferno of adoration and pleasure.
"God, Bella," he breathed against the flesh of my neck, his hands gripping my hips and increasing the strength of our connection. "You have no idea how good you feel."
"Jacob," I whispered in response, my lips brushing lightly against his shoulder and breathing the scent of him in, letting it consume me completely. "Just please don't stop. I need you"
"Are you close?" he asked, panting into my ear, our bodies glistening with sweat. "I'm trying…but I…I can't…"
"Yes," I gasped, my body building with a pressure so good, a force that overtook me and threatened to devour me entirely. "It's so good, Jacob, you're so good."
My hands clenched around him, my eyes fluttered shut and my body tightened as the pressure forcefully released. I cried out his name as wave after wave of pleasure flooded through me, my body quivering and shaking without my control. He pulled me up further against him; increasing the angle, only making it feel impossibly better. His lips caught mine as he thrust one final time, his body finally letting go and succumbing as we both rode out our orgasms and grinded together. Our foreheads were rested together, our noses touching again, as we both came down from our high and tried to steady our breathing.
"I love you," he said, his hands gently brushing against my cheeks as our bodies came unconnected. "Thank you."
"Thank you?" I asked, my mind still floating somewhere off on another cloud, unable to absorb the rapture of what I had just experienced.
"For making me feel so good," he clarified, pressing the heat of his lips against my forehead.
I laughed lightly, pulling back to look him in the eyes. "You're not the only one feeling that way."
He smiled and kissed me softly. "Well I knew I was the first time," he said, frowning a little, "and I felt bad about it, so I really tried to hold out longer for you. Trust me, it's not easy."
"You were perfect" I said, kissing him again, leaning into him and finally enjoying a moment to just breathe. "You've always been perfect, everything about you. It's the reason I allowed myself to 'fall for you' in the first place."
We took our time getting dressed, both of us wishing we had a place to lay down and just be, but the clock was ticking dangerously close to midnight and neither of us wanted to face the "wrath" of Charlie.
Jake drove me home that night in a comfortable silence, our hands connected and resting on the seat between us, occasionally stealing glances as we grinned in satisfaction. We had a lot to discuss, a lot of planning to do, and dreams to hope for. But all of that could wait for another day, because for now we had each other, and that would always be enough.
I knew I was finally where I belonged. I made the right choice, the good choice, the only choice there ever really was.
He was My Jacob. Now and forever.
No, not forever.
Until death do us part.
A/N: Time for a collective, resounding "AWEEEEEEE!"
Well, it's official. That's the last full chapter of FFY. (With the exception of the possibility of an epilogue)
*Tear* *Sniffle *Wail*
I can't thank all of my loyal reviewers enough, you all know who you are, for making me smile with your comments and for inspiring me to continue with my writing.
Don't for one second EVER think that what you say in a review doesn't have an effect on the author, because that is so far from the truth it's not even funny. Every single time someone has told me that I wrote beautifully or my story brought them to tears, it has touched me deeply and meant so much more to me than I could ever put into words.
So thank you, seriously. Thank all of you, from the bottom of my heart.
FFY has introduced me to some of the best friends I could ever ask for. I love my C (my hubby is no edward) with all my heart and none of this story would have been possible without her. She held my hand, helped write parts of it, and continuously fed me idea after idea. C, babe, I will miss you dearly in your absence, but that won't ever change the fact that your one of my besties forever. Love ya, bb.
Finally, that leads me to mention the Sort of Beautiful Challenge and how much I love my Jake hoors that make up Team SOB. Please check out the rules of the contest at the website below and don't hesitate to start writing your entries. (Plus I wrote a hot and steamy Jake sample entry for it, that you MUST go check out). I know I have some super talented readers and I am anxious to see what you got.