Eleven-year old Ike Broflovski stood nervously in the doorway of his older brother's room. This was a very sensitive subject, and Ike, knowing he had full trust in his red-headed sibling (apart from the whole 'Kick-the-Baby' scenario), decided to present his problems to Kyle in the hope that the older Broflovski child could shed some light on the living hell to come with being a 'Pre-Pre-Teen' in South Park.
"Ike, hey. What's up?" Kyle set down the book he was reading and grinned.
"Well…um, you see…I, er…" Ike played with a fraying end of his Terrance and Phillip sweater as he stared at the floor.
Kyle noticed Ike's awkwardness and led the small boy over to his bed, sitting down next to him and wrapping an arm around him in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. "Now, what's the matter?"
"Well, there's this girl…in my class," Kyle smirked slightly, but remained silent, signalling Ike to continue, "and, she's really pretty, but I don't think she likes me all that much. And Martha, that's her name, well, she yelled at me during lunch, but then apologised and blamed it on her hormones…what are hormones?"
Kyle's smirk dropped. He was hoping that he wouldn't have to explain this to Ike so soon, if at all. But the time had come, and Kyle was going to inform Ike on the details of 'The Birds and the Bees, even if it killed him.
"Um, hormones are basically signals that go to your brain and make you feel different emotions, usually at the wrong time. And you get moody and easily frustrated because your hormones are all mixed up at the moment. You have them too, but some of yours are different to Martha's."
"Um, well you see, your body goes through puberty and you start developing. Girls start getting ready to...make…babies, and guys…get ready to make babies too. Just in a different way." Kyle was getting more uncomfortable by the second, but he was determined for Ike to understand. "Eggs…start growing inside girls, but if they don't…lay it in time, they start bleeding." Ike's face turned to one of extreme horror. "But don't worry! It's okay! They don't bleed forever. Just a few days. And guys…well, they…um…they pull on their wiener until white stuff comes out."
"Oh yeah! My friend Billy told me about that! He said he found some on his brother's carpet and it looked like milk, but it didn't taste like it."
Kyle looked disgusted.
"Oh! Hey, that happened to you last night. White stuff came out of your wiener when Stan tugged on it."
Kyle turned pale.
"So, what you and Stan did last night is-"
"Completely none of your business."
"So, I should-"
"Go ask mom, yeah."
As Ike left, Kyle fell back against his pillow, shutting his eyes and sighing in disbelief.
It wasn't long before he heard a shocked 'What What Whaaaat?!?!?' from downstairs.
Oh, he was definitely grounded.