I looked up from where I was seated on the couch, and then returned my gaze to my hands, which were folded on my knees. Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper were seated in a semi-circle around me. Carlisle stood I front of me.

"Edward," he said calmly, "It has come to our attention that you haven't been as, well, kind, as you could be," he said, watching me carefully. Alice leapt up.

"He threw rocks at little kids! He left an old man in the middle of the street!" she cried. "Of course he hasn't been as kind as he could be! The only way he could be any less kind is if he conquers the world!" she continued. Esme put her hand up.

"Alice, dear, don't put an ideas into his head," she said softly. I grimaced. I was evil, and they just had to deal with that.

"Anyway," said Carlisle, "This behavior will need to be stopped. We're going to…er- punish you." I blinked.

"How?" I asked blankly. Suddenly, they had me pinned in the corner and were all thinking the same thing as one.

My bologna has a first name, thought Alice.

It's O-S-C-A-R, thought Rosalie in nearly a scream.

My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R! They were all thinking in synchronization. I like to eat it every day, and if you ask me why, I'll say, "'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A! They sang it in their heads five times until I finally pushed them off.

"Okay, okay, I'll be good, just please stop it!" I yelled. I could feel my eye twitching.

You'd better, thought Alice threateningly. I glanced at her warily, and then turned to Carlisle.

"I'll never use my vampirism or mind reading for evil again. Just please don't do that to me!" I pleaded. He smirked.

"I think you've learned your lesson. C'mon, let's go hunting," he said.

THE END