Well, I have a bunch of ideas for Setsuna/Feldt fics, but none of them would be long enough to warrant being separate, so I decided I'd just to make them a drabble collection. Here's the first installment. Direct sequel to my previous fic. I've gotten used to adding that extra 'd'.
Feldt floated down the corridors of the Ptolemaios. Her shift had finally ended and it was time for her to get some rest. It had been a quiet month. There weren't many missions for them to perform, so everyone was taking the chance to rest up.
Feldt decided to stop at one of the several window boxes on the ship. The boxes provided an unaltered view into space. Feldt would sometimes go there to think and gaze at the stars. When she opened the door she was surprised to see some one already in there.
"Ah… Setsuna." She breathed out. Last she had heard, Exia's Meister was asleep in his quarters. The boy gave no sign that he had noticed her presence. After their little 'joy ride', as the others called it, Feldt had found it much easier to talk to him. She moved closer to him and was about to speak when she noticed something was off.
Reflected in the glass, she could see that Setsuna's eyes, usually hard and determined, were glossed over. He was staring blankly out the window; he probably wasn't really looking at anything. His back gave off a threatening aura. Feldt was sure that if she tried to touch him, he'd probably reflexively break her arm.
"Setsuna." She tried calling. Feldt saw his reflection blink. His eyes returned to normal and he shifted them slightly and looked at her reflection.
"Feldt Grace," He said. "What is it?"
Feldt knew she had no business asking, but part of her thought that if she did, she might be able to help him. "Is… something wrong?"
"Why would you say that?" He asked.
"You… you just seem a bit more… distant than usual…" She said. "But, if you don't want to talk about it…"
Setsuna turned his head just enough to look at her. He seemed to contemplate something before returning his gaze out to space.
"I had a dream." He said.
"Yes… About my past."
"I'm sorry!" Feldt said quickly. She had no right to pry. "I shouldn't have…"
"… Before, you had said that I was a good person." Setsuna interrupted. "I wonder if you'll still think so."
Feldt fell silent. Setsuna continued.
"I'm from a Middle Eastern country called the Kurdish Republic." He started. "There, I fought as a child soldier. I was fooled into believing that I was fighting for the sake of God. I fought alongside many other kids. They were all wiped out. Sometimes I still see all the death and destruction around me. That wasn't the worst of it though."
Setsuna paused and took a quick glance at the girl behind him. She was listening intently to his story with a solemn expression on her face. He closed his eyes and went on.
"We were told that in order to prove ourselves worthy to serve God, we had to complete a certain task… We had to kill our families."
Feldt let a small gasp escape her lips.
"And that's exactly what I did." Setsuna said coldly. "I gunned them down. I killed them without mercy, even as my mother begged me to stop. I killed them for the sake of God." He all but spat out that last word. "I always see my mother's face in my dreams. She keeps asking me 'Why?'"
"This is the kind of person I am." He added evenly. "I'm not a 'good person.' It's best you don't come near me."
Feldt took a moment to organize her thoughts. She knew all the members of Celestial Being would have tragic pasts, but… It must be a truly heavy burden that the boy in front of her carried. Being well-read, Feldt was fully aware of the methods used to brainwash child soldiers. It must have been horrible for him to be coerced into doing something like killing his parents. At such a young age too. And he had to go on living with that fact, and up until now he had kept it all to himself, held all his pain inside with no one to share it with. He continued to suffer all alone.
Feldt couldn't think of the words to convey her thoughts. But after looking at his cold, lonely back, there was only one thing she could do.
Setsuna wasn't sure what the girl would do after hearing his story. He figured she might see him as some sort of monster. What she did completely caught him off guard.
Feldt wrapped her arms around the former child soldier. She hugged him as tightly as she could.
Setsuna reflexively stiffened. He didn't like being touched. He didn't want anyone to get close to him. However, he found himself relaxing. The feeling of her body against his was surprisingly pleasant. Setsuna couldn't remember the last time he felt the warmth of another human being. If he had to guess, the last person to hold him like that was probably his mother.
Feldt simply embraced him. She didn't say 'It's ok' or 'It's not your fault.' She just hugged him. That simple act made Setsuna feel more alive than he had in years.
No words were necessary.
Allelujah Haptism quickly closed the door to the window box. He really needed to remember to knock…