Shall I Release You?
I stood there, still dripping water down my legs and arms, a towel held against me, Jasper to my right, and Edward before me, with my jaw hanging open. As I realized this, I snapped my mouth closed.
"Fine! Can I put some clothes on first?" I stammered, painfully aware of Jasper behind me. He wasn't looking away, because I felt a wave strike me at that moment. My eyes widened, Edward's tightened, then he darted his eyes at Jasper with a momentary glare. So, he could feel it too. His eyes returned to mine.
"I don't think it's necessary Bella. Honestly, your nakedness is part of what we need to talk about." My jaw dropped again. I glanced at Jasper, to see if he was as stunned as I was. My eyes met his, and the connection arced between us. Another wave struck me, Edward growled behind us."
"Damn it Jasper!"
Jasper's eyes dropped, "Sorry."
I looked back at Edward, and he went on.
"There is…something between the two of you. The more I demand it cease, the worse it gets. It's painful to listen to you trying to distract yourself, Jasper, and it hurts me to watch you struggle Bella. I've spoken to Alice, and it seems her luck has been no better than mine. The more it's forbidden, the more it seems to stoke your respective fires."
I looked down, I wanted to speak out and defend myself, but I couldn't. It was the truth, I knew it, Jasper knew it, and apparently so did Edward.
"Please love," Edward reached out took my hand, squeezing it once, gently, "Don't be embarrassed. I've contributed to this problem. I'm not angry." I looked at him. I loved him so much, and his understanding was piercing me.
He dropped his hand again, sighing. He addressed both of us, "I've decided to change my approach, in the hopes it will finally resolve this…." He seemed unable to account for it in words for a moment. "…tension, between you. I've sent Esme, Rosalie and Emmett out to Port Angeles for the evening; I'm going to join them. For this one night Bella, I'm releasing you to Jasper. I know neither of you would let it happen without permission, so I'm giving it to you. I can't make you do anything of course, and I also admit that I wish you wouldn't, but this dilemma between you two has to end. If it doesn't, it will split the family up, and as much as you're upsetting me right now Jasper, I have no interest in losing you as a brother, nor Alice as a sister." He put his arm out towards me as though to caress me, but then dropped it. He continued, "I won't be back until late." He ended, looking down.
He stood then, and kissed me tenderly. His face was stone; it looked as it had when he'd left me in the woods that day so long ago.
He walked out the door; I followed him out with my eyes. I heard the bedroom door close, and my eyes focused on Jasper.
"Is he serious?" I was still floored.
Jasper looked abashedly at me. "Apparently so, Alice called me just before Edward came in to talk to me." He looked absolutely mortified, which was a relief, because that's how I felt. Alice had called him, how awkward that must have been.
I suddenly gasped, "Oh!"
Jasper looked at me, "What?"
"I received an Email from Alice today…I couldn't figure out what it meant. I guess I know now." I covered my face with my hand. "Are we awful, Jasper?" I looked at him from between my splayed fingers.
He looked at me for a moment, thoughtful, pain hollowing his usual intensity. "I don't know. I can't deny I feel awful right now. Although I can't honestly fault anything he said. It is all true, though I'd give anything to be able to say it wasn't. I don't know if we're awful, Bella. But we've definitely ended up in a hell of a quandary."
I nodded, then pulled the towel up around my back and headed into the closet. I didn't turn on the light; I didn't want to see myself. I felt horrible. How could I have encouraged this, leaving two people I loved so much having to deal with the consequences? Not to mention Jasper, who I'd had trouble with, but who I adored nonetheless. I suddenly felt very weak and sank to my knees.
I didn't realize I was crying until Jasper knelt behind me and put his arms around me, hugging me close to him – his arms across my chest, and his hands on my arms. He leaned his head against the back of mine.
We sat there on the floor of my closet for a long time. Jasper rocked me back and forth slightly, I supposed in some effort to comfort me. After awhile I relaxed against him. He stroked his right hand slowly up and down my left arm for a time, then squeezed both arms, and gently extricated himself from me. I felt him pull away and turned to look at him over my shoulder. As he raised himself to his knees, I reached my left hand out and placed it on his stomach. "I'm sorry Jasper, you don't have to go. It was n-nice, sitting here that way."
Jasper smiled, cupping my face in his right hand, he sighed. "I'm happy to do it Bella, and it is nice to hold you, but vampire aspects aside, I am still a man. I can only hold a beautiful, naked woman so long before it effects me." I colored a little, looking at the floor. He went up on one leg, one knee still bent. I took a steadying breath and looked back into Jasper's eyes, "Jasper, wait. Isn't this what we're supposed to be doing though? If they're going to give us this time, shouldn't we….shouldn't we, do what they've asked?"
Jasper went back down on both knees again beside me, he moaned. "I can't keep doing this Bella, you bring me to the knife point where I feel like I'm going to lose my reason, my sanity and even myself, and then you turn away. It cuts me raw! I'm not patient, and I'm not particularly powerful against my own desires Bella."
I gulped, "I know Jasper, I think that's the point. We're supposed to follow our desires."
He looked at me for a moment, eye to eye. He reached out for my face again, stopping just short of it, and placing only his fingertips on my cheek.
"Bella, if we start, I will not stop this time. I couldn't, if Edward hadn't shown up the last time, I'd have taken what I wanted, and nothing could have stopped me. Not your screams or your tears. I don't have enough strength to deny my lust again, Bella. Do you understand?"
I illustrated my acquiescence by lying myself back on the floor and drawing the towel off my body, never breaking eye contact with him.
Jasper looked at me uncertainly for a moment, then reached out with his left hand and ran his fingertips across the shape of my lips; I parted them and kissed his fingers. Jasper's eyes closed and he…well, he purred. It was the only thing I could call it. He ran his fingertips over my chin, down my neck and across my right breast, his eyes following his fingertips' trail. He cupped the side of my breast, and ran a thumb over my raised nipple. His eyes moved back to my face as I moaned. The wave of desire he'd been fighting broke across me and we'd reached that moment, the air was alive with the electricity of it.
He leaned over me and gently pressed his lips to mine, as he kissed me his lips moved with increasing urgency. He braced himself over me, on his knees and hands, kissing me deeply and passionately. Waves of desire were barraging me again. I reached around his head and squeezed my hand into a hair-tangled fist. Jasper moaned. I reached up to unbutton the few buttons he had fastened on his top. He pulled his shirt off for me, as I undid his pants, he pulled them off as well.
He ran his lips down my chin, gave special attention to each of my breasts, nibbling, licking and sucking my nipples until they were so hard they ached. I moaned as well, and he dragged his lips across my stomach, kissing it all over.
He moved back up to my lips again. His lips were like Edward's but different. Jasper's lips were also cold, but silky smooth. He ran his hand down my stomach, and caressed the burning place between my legs. He gently pushed a cool finger inside me, and used his thumb to caress me to ecstasy. He allowed me the sensations for several minutes, leaving me swimming in a pool of desire. He pulled his hand out from between us, and carefully dropped himself down on me.
There was no distance between our bodies any longer. Nor was there any hesitation. He kissed me again. It was a tender kiss; a soft and pregnant with promise, kiss. He pulled his head back to look me in the eyes. His blonde hair hung around our faces. There was no animal there, but passion was vivid in them. "Bella, this is it, I won't be able to stop now. Are you sure you want to do this?"
I whispered, "Yes."
Jasper, lifted his hips, and slid himself completely into me in one stroke. I gasped and moaned as he began to thrust his hips into me, again and again. He kissed me, while he crashed his body against me. His bare, cool and smooth skin against mine, made my hot skin tingle. He stood on his knees, pulling himself back a bit and then pulled me up over his thighs and onto him. Piercing me, he lifted me up and pulled me down onto him.
He rocked into me, I rolled my hips against him. I was calling him and holding his arms at the wrists. He pulled my wrists together and held them while he continued to hold my leg with his other hand.
He settled me back onto the floor. His speed was increasing to an unnaturally fast rhythm, making my reaction increase. As I moaned, he gripped my thigh more and more tightly with his right hand. He was snarling and growling and I knew he was nearing his release. My leg felt like it was in a vice grip, he was going to break it. I whimpered, and Jasper momentarily looked at me, he let go of my thigh, and grabbed the carpet beneath me. As he growled out an animal cry at his release, and I joined my cry to his, his fingers dug into the carpet, and pulled the entire carpet away from where we were, clear to the wall. Jasper collapsed on the ground next to me, he pulled me to him, and held me tightly against him. It was very peaceful in his arms. I had my head on his shoulder, listening to his breathing readjust. My heart was beating madly and my breathing even more jagged and harsh than his.
Keeping his arm beneath my head, he looked into my eyes again. "Did I hurt you?"
"A little, only my leg. I'll be okay." I smiled at him. He kissed me softly again, and then lifting his head, looked over my entire body. "Edward's right you know, you are breathtaking to look at."
I felt my cheeks blush hotly. Jasper smiled again, "Don't feel embarrassed Bella. You're just beautiful, and you're only going to become more so when Edward changes you, so you may as well become accustomed to it now."
I laughed lightly. And Jasper looked at me as though I'd melted him, "You have no idea how your laughter has been taunting me these past days. Every time I'd hear it, it would make me wild with jealousy of Edward.
I looked at him, "But you have Alice, Jasper. And you two were made for each other." Jasper looked out the door into the other room, "I know, that is true. I love Alice, she is who I was meant to spend eternity with." He smiled, and I replied, "That's how I feel about Edward."
He looked back at me then, "So, for their sakes, do you think we can get over this?" he looked very serious; he was honestly asking my exact opinion.
I smiled, "Yes. I think we can now. But perhaps we could put it off until later? I think I'd like to try that again."
Jasper grinned wickedly and laughed. "Really? Well, whatever you want. For this one night, we are the loves of each others eternity."
I laughed, and teased him, "Are you declaring your undying love for me Jasper?"
He chuckled, "I suppose I am." He sighed, "This very strange night, and similar circumstances aside Bella, I truly do love you, and I'm happy you'll be part of this family. Once we've managed to put this experience aside, I think we'll be very close, always. It may take me a decade or two before I can refer to you as a sister though." He smiled sheepishly and I laughed.
"I think I'd have to agree with that. Friends then, hmmm?" I asked.
Jasper laughed, raising an eyebrow. "Friends?" he tested the word, "Sure, alright, why not." He looked at me again. "So friend, could I ask a favor."
"Sure, what can I do for you?" I asked.
"Can we do that again?"
I chuckled, "Sure, friend." By the end of the night, I realized we might need to redo the closet.
The End to Satisfy the Story
Later that night Edward came home. I was on the computer sending a message to Alice.
Nevermind, I understand now.
P.S. Thank you, and I'm sorry.
I sent the message and shut the computer down as Edward walked to the end of the bed and sat down. His expression was tortured. He was looking toward the door and couldn't bring himself to look at me.
I walked over and sat next to him. I looked into his face, waiting. He closed his eyes, "Have I lost you then?"
I let myself flop onto the floor and pretended to faint. Edward jumped down next to me, "Bella! What's the matter?"
I opened one eye and looked at him, he looked back at me, eyebrows raised in surprise. "Too much drama."
Edward scowled and pushed himself back to a sitting position on the bed, frowning "That wasn't funny Bella."
I sat up and looked him in the face. "It was funny."
He was still refusing to look me in the eye. "Edward?"
He looked down at me, "The answer is, no. I love you."
He tensed a little, "Have you and Jasper…resolved, things?"
"Jasper and I have agreed we're going to be friends now. We've tested our decision a couple of times in the hall, just to see if we found any more problems, but apparently having your approval shut the whole forbidden part of it down. It's going to be fine."
He relaxed. I could tell he still wasn't happy, but he lost some of his tension.
He seemed to be listening to something. "Hmm? He's actually thinking about baseball, Alice and nothing else."
"I told you." I said.
I stood up on my knees and wrapped my arms around Edwards's waist. "I'm sorry for all the anxiety I've put you through. But I love you, and I'm ready to spend eternity with you. Only you."
He looked down into my eyes, "Are you certain, Bella? Really and truly certain."
Edward and I had a very loving night together, and there wasn't an ounce of anger in Edward. I should have been upset with him for allowing it, but I knew he was only thinking of me. Foolish vampire.
The only time it was ever mentioned was the next morning when Edward walked into the closet to change his clothes. I heard him hiss, and he walked past me and right out the bedroom door. I don't know what was said between Edward and Jasper, but it was punctuated by a lot of loud thumps that made the walls shake. I made sure Edward never saw my thigh. If the closet had upset him, I didn't want to think how he'd have reacted to what looked like grill marks on my thigh.
Alice came back from France and pretended nothing had happened. She did return with an embarrassingly large wardrobe for me, we told her that we'd decided to rearrange the closet and do some repairs, to explain the damage. If she knew otherwise, she never let on.
The whole house went back the way it should always have been and Jasper and I became very good friends. Every now and then we'd pass on the stairway, and we'd stop and lock eyes, testing it. I never got another wave of anything but amusement from him again. We'd stare into each other's eyes until we both dissolved into laughter. Edward always tensed up when he noticed us do this, and then would roll his eyes when we began laughing.
It gave Jasper and I a very specific tie, it made us closer, and within a few months, I could call him brother with no reservations at all.