A/N: finally did a little rewrite and fixing of grammar and spelling errors, hopefully this reads a little more smoothly. ^_^
Also, I should have out a follow up story or companion story to this before Halloween. I love Halloween. I love Holidays! End note
A HALLOWEEN Ficcy! Yay.
A HALLOWEEN Ficcy! Yay.
Title: Attack of the Chibi
2n Pairing: Kiba/Naruto
Category: Holiday Fic: Halloween, Humor
Warning: Chibi, chibi, chibi, trick-or-treating, one-shot. short story. unbeta'd, typed up pretty quickly to make it on time for Halloween.
Summary: Why does Halloween have to be just for kids? The Adults want in on the action, the sweet action, that is before they go to the Adult All Nighter at the Hokage Tower.
Inspired by the "Spice of Life" written by: B I K Tyger.
word count: 1,939
ATTACK OF THE CHIBI
Iruka opened his door to find trick-or-treaters already out and about; the sun just barely in the beginning stages of setting. He smiled at them, then paused as he was about to put treats in their pillow cases. They looked vaguely familiar, but not from the academy, at least, not in this generation's academy class of students.
One child looked to be smoking, dressed as some old time gambler out of a thirties film. The other had large red eyes. She was dressed a bit more scary than her counter part, with those red eyes of hers dressed in her mummy costume, she was quite terrifying. Next in the little group, growing with every minute, walked up a little boy dressed in a panda costume snacking on a thin piece of bamboo oddly shaped like a senbon.
Iruka looked them over quizzically. How odd, they seemed to remind him of his coworkers at the Hokage Tower; who were most certainly not chibis but adults.
Next came a busty blond chibi in a Dorothy costume and red ruby shoes, next to her was a small little girl dressed as ToTo. Behind her came Kotetsu and Izumo, chibified and dressed as Hansel and Gretel.
"Wait a minute, what in the Great Pumpkin's name is going on here." He murmured suspiciously.
"Aw crap." Growled a gravely voiced scarred badger. "He's figured it out. Quick with the jutsu, Kurenai-chan."
Iruka blinked. He had a terrible horrible suspicion. No, it couldn't be, he thought, near the point of traumatic realization. The badger couldn't be Special Jounin, head of Konoha's ANBU Torture and Interrogation Force, Ibiki Morino-sama.
"If we want to live this down, spin the vision." Growled the leader of their little trick or treat party, the Hokage herself.
Iruka countered her jutsu knowing it was coming. He scowled at the adults who tried to give him cute chibi expressions of innocence. But Iruka was a sensei; he dealt with students and their many puppy dog looks and kicked kitten looks all the time. He was immune to them.
"What in ..in.. what is going on here?" asked the exasperated and spluttering Academy Sensei.
"Trick or Treat!" cried the chibis. Big grins firmly affixed to their chibi faces.
"Trick-or-treat is for children." Chided Iruka.
The whole group pouted. The stragglers, Raidou and Kakashi, walked up to Iruka's door standing in line with the rest of their group of co-workers slash cohorts.
As Kakashi affixed his chibified gaze onto Iruka; Iruka felt his body shiver; he felt his will falter. Kakashi was such a cutie.
Kakashi was dressed like a miniature ocean biographer, stethoscope around his neck, diver's tank on his back and goggles affixed to his eyes. A dolphin plushy secured in his net, pillowcase opened wide, a red and a smoky blue eye sparkling with glee.
It was wrong what they were doing. It was so childish. It was cheating the kids of their candy on their special night. But worse of all, Kakashi was a chibi and Iruka felt like a child molester.
It was just not right!
How could Kakashi do this to him? He would never be able to have sex with Kakashi again, not without feeling like a major pervert!
"Pweese Ruki-chan," Begged Kakashi in his best version of a young child's voice filled with hope "Candy pweese."
Iruka sighed. How could he stand up to that voice? Kakashi had him bespelled.
Raidou grinned triumphantly up at his long time friend.
"You know." He said in his version of chibi in a very realistic version of a cat-boy costume. "You could join us."
"No, I couldn't. I don't even know the jutsu needed, nor do I have a costume to wear." Iruka replied, pouting just a little.
"Don't worry, my Ru-Ru," insisted Kakashi. "I'll jutsu you."
"But what would I wear?" asked Iruka being swayed by the group of his chibi peers.
Kakashi grabbed one of Iruka's sheets out of the closet and a pillow case, then he stripped Iruka down dressed him in the sheet, then found a triton style trowel used in the garden, then jutsued Iruka into a chibi version of himself and proclaimed his beloved Dolphin, a God of the Sea, Poseidon.
Iruka blushed, handed out candy bars to his fellows then joined the fun.
Naruto's year mates dressed in various costumes trotted up to the chibified adults; Sasuke was dressed like a weyrwolf, Sakura as a witch and Naruto, well yes, a jack-o-lantern, and like Iruka before him Naruto scowled at the adults and screamed.
"How can you steal from us kids! It's not enough you take our childhood, now you've got to take our candy too! You should be ashamed of yourselves!"
Iruka burst into tears. "WAHHHHHHHHH. Naru-nee don't like mes no more." He sobbed perfectly, with whimpers and all. Stopping Naruto's sure to be a long rant, replacing it with a stricken look of shock and pain.
Iruka's coworkers hid their smirks knowing what Iruka was doing, saving their buttes.
Naruto felt gutted. "No, no, no," protested Naruto in a panic. "of course I don't dislike you, Iruka-sensei! I know this isn't your fault. Yeah! That's right! Yeah! They all probably ganged up on you and forced you to join them. You're under bad influences." Gasped Naruto thinking he was being ingenious. He was trying to get his favorite person and most precious person to stop crying.
All the teams looked at their chibified Jounin Senseis and their costumes and decided they needed the extra cuteness factor to get more candy. They overruled Naruto and swarmed over the chibis, each team grabbing one or two for themselves and taking off to the nearest row of houses to beg for treats. This year was sure to be the greatest haul of candy ever!
Kakashi was clinging to Iruka as per usual now days since they began dating.
Naruto scowled. Knowing full well that this all had to be Kakashi's doing. Iruka didn't do trick-or-treats as a chibi. Iruka accompanied unaccompanied minors on occasion but he never went trick-or-treating as a pretend minor. Kakashi was a clever adversary in the war for Iruka's love and attention.
Naruto tried to pick up his precious person and keep Kakashi away from the little Ocean God. But it was useless. Kakashi was a slick one. Every time Naruto tried to snatch up Iruka a replacement jutsu was enacted on him, which only seemed to serve as amusement for Iruka and made him giggle like a three year old.
Naruto pouted as Kakashi led their group to the many houses with all that delicious candy waiting for them to plunder and reap the benefits of their chibi jutsu.
The night ended up being one of excitement and lots of admiration from house owners as they ooohed and awed and squealed at how cute everyone's costumes were, especially Kakashi and his plushy and Iruka-Ocean God. The two Senseis made out like a couple of bandits, getting twice as much candy as the rest of their little team.
Kakashi was puffed out with pride. He knew he was cute. He knew Iruka was even cuter though and gave his lover a rather disturbing look of lechery. No child should ever have that look on their face or in their eyes; it was just plain disturbing, nightmarish really.
Naruto glared darkly at the pervert and his bad influences over Iruka.
"I love you Ru-Ru, let's do this again next year, okay-dokey?" asked the chibi Kakashi.
Iruka blushed and nodded. "okay dokey, Kashi. Is loves yous to."
Sakura glomped Sasuke, Sasuke gagged, Naruto growled ready to tear his hair out. Why did Iruka-Sensei have to be in love with Kakashi sensei? Kakashi was such a troublesome sensei and a bad influence. Kakashi was the biggest pervert of all time! How could Iruka fall for his charm and good looks? Kakashi was evil.
Kiba bounced up to their group and seeing Naruto pouting he hugged his boyfriend and offered him some special treats at his house. The Inuzuka clan was throwing their own party for the kids on this special night.
Kiba recounted all that would be there. "Candy apples, candy corn, a haunted house, a treasure hunt, and an all night movie-a-thon."
Iruka bid them a fun and good night. "See yous in the morning Naru-nee, bye-bye." He waved cutely, continuing his cute little chibi voice and talk for affect.
Naruto hugged Iruka one last time and gave Kakashi one last glare before satisfied he took off with Kiba, hand in hand, heading towards the Inuzuka compound, the rest of their group quickly following after them to the party.
Meanwhile the chibified adults popped up, haul of candy on their shoulders, cackling and talking, high on sweets and tricking the village.
"Now let's get to the real party." Cried the Hokage. "Sake, poker, strip poker, karaoke, chips, bbq weenies, lots and lots of barbeque, and sake, and gambling! MwaHahahaha!"
"Let this party of sin commence!" roared the boisterous jounins, popping back into their adult selves and still in their adult version of their costumes.
Iruka smiled sweetly at them all waving a merry goodbye to his friends and co-workers, then he turned to his lover and whispered something naughty in his pervy ear. Keeping him rooted to the stoop of their shared home.
They kissed a kiss that grew very steamy.
Kakashi jutsued themselves back into their adult form and into their bedroom; where they had their own party of sorts, until the break of dawn.
- HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY-
also, look forward to a companion piece coming either before or on Halloween! 2009!