Shinji of Gaul

Ch. 5

I OWN NOTHING!

The angel Shamshel came, undulating low to the ground. Some described him like a spear. Others thought the great beast reminded them of an ancient arthropod. However…

"Doos ennywhone notice tha' it looks loike ah big codpiece wit crrochrot feelers a'grooin oon it?" Had the angel heard that, it more likely than not would have been the first angel to face fault. Many in Central Dogma did so. Unfortunately the comparison stuck and none of the crew could really take the beast seriously until it used those feelers to slice into the hills and rip them to pieces.

"EVA launch!" was the cry and soon EVA 01 was flung out topside.


Down in one of the shelters, Toji and Kensuke were sitting waiting to find out whether or not Armageddon was going to happen. About then Toji was nudged by Kensuke and when he turned to Kensuke, the smaller boy said to him, "Hey Toji, could I talk to you for a moment, in private?"

The larger boy looked around and then said to him, "Okay. But how d'ya plan to get past class rep?"

The smaller boy grinned again and spoke out loud, "Hey Class Rep! Toji and I need to use the bathroom!"

The duel pigtailed girl glanced at the two then said, "Fine, but you really should have gone earlier. Hurry up!" She sighed as she watched the two walk off, Toji still clutching the spear that the scary demo-, err the new student and apparently the robot pilot, Shinji Arverni. She had scolded the living daylight out of Toji for the dumb stunt he had pulled, though on the inside she was pretty worried about the guy, and a little bit proud of his courage. Ever since Shinji had GLARED her down that first day, she hadn't had the guts to try and bring him under control.

In the bathroom Toji and Kensuke were zipping their flies when Kensuke asked him, "Hey Toji, you're my best friend right?"

"Yeah. Why do yah ask?" The larger boy asked.

"Well this could be our last day of life so could you…"

"Oh hell no!" Toji half shrieked, suddenly very glad he had taken that spear earlier.

"No! That's not what I meant!" Kensuke shouted at him, shuddering a little himself, "I just want to go up topside. See that battle going on. I just want to see that battle against a monster."

Toji thought for a moment then grinned and said, "You're crazy, you know that?" The two boys chuckled then trotted to the top side, never suspecting what would happen to them, or the repercussions of their actions.


Shinji flew out of the launch chute and leaped into the sky, howling a wolf-like war cry, which the EVA copied many octaves lower, and MANY decibels louder. He charged the otherworldly beast barely hearing what the druid women was saying. "Shinji, make sure you expand your AT field before you engage!"

Shinji thought about what she said and made an attempt to do so. The beast slung it feelers out and sliced right through the EVA's AT field. Shinji barely ducked in time before it decapitated him. "Daghda's scrotum! Tha' oover groon codpiece kan cut throoo mah shield."

"There's a gun in that tower. Use it!" Misato shouted over the com. link.

Shinji didn't have a clue what a 'gun' was but went on his way toward the marker on the map and took out the EVA sized pistol. Shinji stared at the strange angled device the shrugged and slung it at Shamshel body like a boomerang. It bounced off the monster's shovel head and actually made a noticeable lump it, which seemed to only infuriate the angel.

"Wiell tha' was useless!" Shinji shrieked as he ducked the whips again.

Misato could only stare in dumb shock at Shinji's actions. She reacted quickly enough and screamed, "What the hell Shinji, why did you do that?!!"

"Wha' else is tha' thin' good foor? It didnae even haf a blade t'it" Shinji howled back at Misato.

The entire bridge was stunned at his words, 'What the Hell! Has he been living under a rock?!!!' Was the thought on every single one of their minds.

Shinji realized he was getting nowhere with this fight. With just a knife he couldn't touch the giant codpiece. Thinking quickly he slung a boulder at the creature which promptly sliced the rock but bought Shinji time to bolt for it and head for the city. Looking in some of the rubble from the last fight, he found what he was looking for and pulled out a huge steel column. He found some thick steel cable and then taking out the prog knife; he tied the knife to the column with the cable and made an impromptu spear. He spun it around a few times then ran out back into the fray howling like a banshee as he came, the spear arched for the throw.


"Hey Toji, we made it, we're topside." Kensuke said as they opened the last door to the shelter. They blinked for few moments then felt a huge rumble and turned to see the source of it.

The massive EVA was charging the Angel, a makeshift spear in its right hand, raised over its head as if it was going to throw it. Then a horrifying shriek came out of the robot's mouth as it let loose the spear. It hurtled like a lightning bolt and struck the beast right below the core, a miss. But Shinji was ready to kill and he continued his charge and grabbed the end of the spear and slammed the massive angel after an arching lift over his head. All who saw that were in awe of the raw strength of the EVA and its pilot.

But the Angel wasn't down and out, not by a long shot. It shot out an AT whip and sliced into the EVA shoulder causing pain for both Shinji and the EVA. Another whip cleanly sliced the power plug of the EVA. Shinji was knocked back and slammed into the hillside incidentally right next to Toji and Kensuke, barely missing squashing them.

Misato noticed them and made an immediate decision. "Shinji there are two of your classmates right next to your hand, open the plug and let them in. Then head back to the launch pad and back under the geofront."

Shinji nodded, was his only answer as he tried to ignore the phantom pain of his shoulder.

Toji and Kensuke could only stare as a pod opened in the back of the EVA and in it was Shini hacking red colored gook. Over the speakers came the voice of Misato screaming for them to get in. They quickly replied and then almost as quickly started to panic at the LCL. But when Shinji calmly took a breath of the gook and seemed fine, they also calmed down and imitated the big youth.

Misato then said, "Alright, now head for the geofront."

Shinji ignored her and roared a wordless battle cry and charged the Angel.


"Sync ratio skyrocketing! Reaching 99%, 110%, 150%, corruption likely!"

"Shit! Shinji!" Misato cried worried for the life of the young man who was a hurricane of change and color in her life.

EVAs are incredible pieces of technology; they allow human beings to partial synchronize with the most powerful war machines imaginable. However because of the nature of the situation, over synchronization can cause influences on usually the pilot, however the EVA becoming corrupted is not impossible, just an ice cube's chance in hell of it because of the nature of the EVA. In this case however…

"What the..? Shinj's showing no sign of corruption; it's almost… the EVA's being corrupted by him?!!! But that's impossible!!!!" Ritsuko gasped.

Then they all shut up as they saw what happed to the EVA. From the mouth grew a full set of fangs. The helmet was blown off as what looked like a mane of spikes appeared from the head. One of the EVA's eye bugged till it seemed to become almost twice its original size. The knee armor was shattered when the knee joints switched direction. Then the most horrible part, a jet of EVA blood shot from the head that went straight up almost a mile. This new horror charged the Angel and ripped the spear from it, then proceeded to slash and pummel the beast to a bloody pulp.

As the bridge watched in horror they failed to notice that the screen, which had shut off when the EVA, or possibly Shinji, had gone wild, flicker back on for an instant showing Shinji as a dead ringer for the EVA's changes. Both Toji and Kensuke seemed different from before they had entered the EVA. All three had faces that seemed to be contorted in an ungodly rage.


The Angel quickly fell apart from the mindless mauling that the transformed EVA gave it. Them its core was rip from it body and held in the left palm of the EVA then quickly crushed it, flashes of light and fire streaming between the fingers of its closed fist. At that moment the EVA ran out of power and collapsed, the bizarre changes wrought on it receded.

Inside the EVA Shinji shook himself awake and looked around in the entry plug. Inside were Kensuke and Toji both out cold. He grinned as he saw that Toji had the spear he had given him in a death grip. He looked at himself, he'd done and gone crazy, again. Daghda! He hoped he didn't kill anyone he shouldn't have. He smiled a wolf-life smile, "Two doone, moor t'goo!"


Misato was killing time watching Ritsuko having a nervous breakdown over what the hell just happened with the EVA. She examined the data from the battle compared them to tests from earlier. She stayed at this for several hours, Misato could have sworn she never blinked. Then out of nowhere, "Raaagh!!!!!! I GIVE UP, THE ONLY WAY TO EXPLAIN HOW THE HELL HE DID THAT WAS BY GODDAMNED MAGIC!!!!!" She then took an inhale of a cigarette that ate half of it then stormed out of the bridge toward the sick by where Shinji was being examined.

The medical doctor, had just walked out from Shinji's room when Ritsuko came thundering down the hallway. She GLARED at the man and said, "WELL???!!!!"

The doctor gulped, "Well we examined him for any possible taint from the Angel like you asked but there is nothing even remotely Angel like in his system. We don't know how the hell he did that."

Ritsuko stared at the woman then shrieked in rage again and burst into Shinji room. She stromed over to the man laying down and said, "Okay Shinji, how and what the hell did you do to the EVA?!!"

Shinji looked up at here from a football game he was watching in the room and said, "Loost mah temper, bahd thin's 'appen when Oye loose mah temper." He then turned back to the T.V. and started cheering for one of the teams. "Oh boi th'way. Could ye make soome javelins t'foight at a distance. Tha' weird cloob wos useless." Ritsuko ground her teeth and stormed out of the medical ward, completely ignoring that the doctor was telling her that something odd was going weird with the other two boys that had been with him in the EVA. The boys were released and sent home where they had an incredible story to tell.


The next day Toji was staring in wonder at the spear that lay at the foot of his bed. He had gone to pick it up and was shocked when he picked the thing up with one arm easily, when the day before he was having a hard time carrying with one. He looked at his arm, though it was very faint, it did almost look like his arm was slightly more muscular. The rest of his body did so as well. That wasn't all; the pajamas he was wearing had fit perfectly before, now they seemed a fraction too small. Once again barely noticeable, but it was still there.

He shrugged and changed his clothes, once again noting they were a fraction too small. Little did he know was that Kensuke was having the same experience.

In another realm a group of powerful beings were laughing their heads off at this unexpected but not unwanted side effect. Once again, this time in an overseas restaurant, Gendo felt a shiver and the ominous feeling that the universe and the powers that be were about to fuck him over sideways returned. Once again he ignored it and once again was an idiot for it.

A/N: Well how's the new chapter? In case you were wondering, that was a description for the change that the ancient hero Cuchulainn of Ulster was supposed to go through. Incase you were wondering, yes Toji and Kensuke were infected by a case of the Shinji cooties and yes they will be almost completely infected by his Gallishness. Hope you liked the fight scenes, compared to the thunder god that is Shinji and Warhammer 40k; I who and but a lame and distasteful admirer of that genius, hope you like my own. (I really don't have low self esteem. ;)