All Her fault

Oneshot for antific contest at the Kakasaku FC at narutoforums. The link to the voting is posted on my profile at the top! The antific contest is to make a kakasaku story that goes against the usual grain or norms of kakasaku. You can check out the contest rules at the forum at the link. This isn't anti-kakasaku, just a little different from the regular kakasaku, if that makes sense.

I don't own Naruto. It is property of Masashi Kishimoto - who is fairly genius in my opinon. Enjoy.

"Hold up," Kakashi said quietly, putting a hand up to still his squad. He glanced down through the trees at the trio of unknown nin, and the hostage they had tied up next to their fire. Some dumb rich bastard flaunting his cash had gotten himself nabbed by a less than congenial group, and for an unknown reason, his wealthy wife would pay anything to have him back. He looked like a rolled up sausage to the Copy-nin, lying there and sobbing for his mother.

Kakashi figured the asshole deserved a good beating as he'd gotten mixed up with a group of rogue nin while tossing money at prostitutes. Of course, the delicate circumstance of his abduction was never fully disclosed to his wife – not that it was Kakashi's choice.

He looked back at his small retrieval group and sighed. Two young chuunin and a young jounin crouched among the foliage: talented, strong, and raring to go.

"Hold up, I said," he reiterated, seeing one young man's feet shuffle a little.

"What are we waiting for, Senpai?" a man's voice said from above.

"Be patient, Anari," the copy-nin mumbled. As he stood up on the branch he was crouching on, a person suddenly appeared at his side.

"Looks like a good time to me," Haruno Sakura said evenly, her arms crossed as she leaned on the tree trunk nonchalantly. Standing among the branches in the dark canopy, her hair looked lavender under the moonlight.

Kakashi checked her quickly with a perfunctory glance.

"I want to see if I recognize any of them. Didn't I teach you to survey the situation before rushing in?" he retorted coolly. "They aren't paying much attention to him at the moment so there is time."

"I'd rather collect the payment than lug a dead body back. He doesn't look that light, you know," she huffed with a small laugh. "We won't have any trouble with that group."

"What if one of them…?"

Sakura creased her brow at him, a twitch of her lip showcasing a lack of understanding for his hesitation. She glanced back at the two eighteen year old men above them in the tree behind, and chided, "Take a break, Kakashi-sensei. We'll deal with this one." And then she laughed.

Kakashi felt the burst of chakra from her feet hit his legs as she took off faster than the unaided eye could see. With a whoop, the two young men were right behind her.

"Shit," Kakashi muttered.

"Hey! Get another round, Chubby!" the taller of Sakura's two young teammates, Kouji, shouted to the man they'd rescued, who was pouring money into the waitress's hand like it was water. Sakura drank another shot and laughed riotously as they recounted their daring rescue and the subsequent embarrassment of the ranked enemy ninja who dared to pull a crime in the Fire Country.

Kakashi sat at the bar in the tiny, rundown tavern of a small, unnamed village along the Konoha River and simpered over the glass of ginger ale he wasn't going to drink. Impetuous, he thought. They would have to be reprimanded for ignoring their superior. What surprised him the most was that his former student, tall, nineteen and capable, had led the unabashed mutiny.

Sakura flipped her long hair and laughed with the young men, drinking in celebration of their easy feat of throttling three jounin level men. The rich bastard was so happy to be rescued that he withdrew a lofty sum from a bank and was treating them to a drinking free-for-all.

The nineteen-year old medic drank liberally, never seeming to get too drunk (Tsunade's influence for sure) and used an arsenal of feminine charms on each of the men in the bar to gain attention and free cocktails. She was beautiful, perfectly built for male appreciation, and she exuded confidence like a fine scent, trapping everyone in its bouquet.

He didn't know her anymore.

Kakashi yawned sleepily and wondered vaguely if he'd have to dodge her fast fist when he gave her shit for stepping out of rank.

"What do you think made Senpai hesitate?" Kouji said to Sakura as the other young man leaned in to whisper with him. Sakura put her foot up on the rung of Kouji's chair and pushed against it to gently to recline her own onto the back two legs, sipping a drink and smiling around the glass rim while ignoring his question.

The smaller of the two, Anari, instead replied, "It's hard to say. He's famous right? I figured he would take them out by himself."

"He'll hear you, you know," Sakura warned with a cheeky grin. "He's got super sensitive everything. He's probably trying to decide which one of us to ass-kick first."

"I don't know. He was pretty…careful today." The two men looked at each other and raised their eyebrows. "I really think I could take him. Hesitation breeds failure."

"I'm sure he was worried about your skinny ass getting killed and didn't want to have to write that report," she snickered, smacking a hand away from her ankle as one of the young men reached down to touch her. "Easy. Look but don't touch."

"Maybe he's just…nervous now. I've heard of ninja getting too careful as they get older. Like fear gets into them because they've seen so many things and they think their days are numbered." Kouji scratched his head.

"That's true. I heard that they have to retire or take the teaching jobs because they can't jump into the fray anymore," Anari replied quietly.

Sakura glanced over at Kakashi who scratched at his mask and watched the fuzzy television above the bar playing a soap opera in Spanish. She wanted to pummel her two young teammates for everything they had said since arriving at the bar, but this line of talk was beyond reproach.

They had no idea who they were talking about; Kakashi was the famous copy-nin, perfectly deadly, swift, and master of over a thousand jutsu. He could kill with a glance from his sharingan, or track someone over rocks and desert. He prized his teammates over everything including his own life, and more than once, he'd saved hers.

"You dumb assholes don't know what you're talking about," she hissed, kicking over Kouji's chair by employing a little chakra to her foot. He lurched and smacked the wall as he tumbled backwards.

Sakura glanced back up at Kakashi amid the laughter, and he still wasn't looking at them but was shaking his head. Obviously he'd heard the whole exchange.

The walk back was easy. Kouji and Anari chatted about women of the village and (before a smack together of their heads) how much they liked Sakura's shorts.

Kakashi brought up the rear behind the entire group and once in a while, Sakura would glance back at him to see that lazy familiar slouch following them as he performed his famous walk-and-read technique. One hand was stuffed in a pocket, and the other cradled the orange bound book. He hadn't changed, she thought to herself. He looks exactly the same, acts exactly the same. But her teammates' words tickled her thoughts all night as she sobered up, and she felt like something was off kilter between them.

If she had just waited and given him a chance to survey the scene (like he had taught her) the fodder-like chuunin would have seen exactly what he could do. Guilt flooded her insides at the thought of them going back to Konoha and telling their friends that the Copy-nin was hesitant and…dare she imagine it…scared.

"Hey Sensei? Don't you get tired of those books?" she asked casually, accenting it with a light laugh, making the other two in her squad glance back . A desperate need to smooth things over sat like a brick in her chest.

Kakashi's dark eye lifted from the book and regarded her impassively, then shifted back down to the pages as he turned one.

Sakura bit her lip and looked back toward the other two in her squad, shaking her head. They must have pissed him off with their talk and now she was lumped into it as well. With an accusatory finger jabbing the air towards them, she mouthed, "I'm going to fucking kill you two!"

"Nice mouth, Sakura," Kouji scoffed.

"Nice ass more like," Anari laughed.

"That's it, you little bastards," she growled, lunging forward toward their shocked faces and raised hands. Kouji was the first to receive a blow by her leg-guard to the head, while Anari found himself in a tight headlock, wheezing out a desperate apology.

"Senpaiiiii?" Kouji whined from beneath Sakura's heel as Kakashi casually walked by, not bothering to lift his eye away from his pages. The chuunin groaned.

Sakura froze, as did the two men she had in her clutches. Even beating her teammates to a squishy pulp couldn't get his attention. He really was pissed.

When Kakashi's lazy form was further away, trying desperately to keep her voice low, Sakura hissed out, "You dumb shits have got him pissed off at us with your insane talk last night. Don't you have any idea who he is?"

"He was your old teacher, right?" Anari huffed out of his tight throat as his larynx crushed against his windpipe. "You call him sensei. Did he have confidence problems back then too?"

Sakura growled out an unflattering expletive and with a twist of her arm, wrenched Anari to the ground. She took her foot off of Kouji's back, giving him a kick for good measure, and without another word, turned and trotted after Kakashi.

"Hey Sakura! We know who he is, but do you?" Anari shouted, emasculated and insulted that the medic of their team just rang his bell in two seconds flat. Then he turned to look at Kouji who was rubbing his neck and cringing. "She is crazy. You were right."

Kouji coughed once and then replied with a grin, "Yeah, but she's hot."

The Konoha gates were always a welcome sight when returning from a mission, but Sakura had been dreading it since Kakashi had deemed the last leg of their journey a silent one by exemplar. For miles he hadn't said a word. In fact, she didn't think he had said a thing to her the entire day.

"S…sensei?" Sakura mumbled as he ambled through the gates in front of her and gave an absent wave to the lounging guards.

Kakashi stopped walking, turned and snapped his book shut while watching the two other men saunter up to Sakura, but still maintaining a double arms-length distance from the medic.

"Mission is complete," he said evenly. "Good work on obtaining our objective."

"Awesome!" Kouji and Anari laughed while high-fiving each other.

"So that's it?" Sakura asked, wide-eyed and beginning to feel the tickle of relief.

"Unless you three would like to write the report?" Kakashi shrugged.

"No no, Senpai. See you!" Kouji said happily.

The young medic exhaled an alleviated breath and smiled. "I'm glad it went…"

"Oh, I guess I should mention…" Kakashi interrupted, rubbing the back of his head in that way Sakura was acutely familiar with while crinkling his eyes shut with an overly happy smile. "I'll be writing you all up for insubordination. Enjoy your day off." He then spun, and in a snap and curl of smoke, was gone.

Sakura's jaw dropped. Written up? She'd never…in her life….been written up. Angrily she turned on her heel and looked at the two young men with narrowed eyes.

"What the hell are you pissed off at us for?" Anari shouted out defensively. "It was you that started it by disobeying him, if you remember. Geez, I'm going home. Written up…"

As if jabbed in the chest, Sakura suddenly realized that it really was all her fault. Both of those young chunnin would now run around and tell everyone in the village that Hatake Kakashi was scared, and his medic blatantly disobeyed him.

"Fuck," she grunted, and dropped her bag to the dirt.

The sun was a gloriously perfect round ball of warm rays the next morning, and Kakashi took it upon himself to appreciate it - as every ninja should. He found a cool spot under a lush tall tree and let his back smooth out the grass.

Reading was a fundamental part of sunshine worship, but as his eyes grew heavy and lazy, he felt that a nap would be better homage. So sliding down his mask to let some air touch his face, he placed the orange book (opened to his favourite dirty spot) comfortably on his face.

Within moments, he could feel his mind numbing, a sensation which always preceded slipping into the dirty dreams elicited by fanciful books like Icha Icha. But something horribly inauspicious in the form of approaching footsteps told him that his well made and thought out plans for the morning might be changing.

"Se…sensei?" Sakura's quiet voice asked. For a moment, Kakashi was reminded of the young twelve year old that was in his charge so many years ago and wished for a time machine so he could go back and smack his twenty-six year old self for ever agreeing to teach.

"What?" he mumbled into the cool pages on his cheeks.

"I wanted to apologize for the mission," she said softly.

Kakashi could hear a shuffling of steps and then the rustling sound of more limbs settling on the grass. Did she just sit down in the prime spot he designated for seclusion and rest? This just wouldn't work.

Trying hard not to let perturbation command his actions, Kakashi sat up slowly and let the book drop into his hand. "If you're just trying to get me to rescind your write up, it's too late. I gave it to Tsunade this morning. Dismissed."

Kakashi went to lie back down, but noticed her agog stare.


Then he realized his mask was around his chin.

"Take a good look, then go," he mumbled.

"Yes…Sen…sei…" she uttered, getting up to trudge away. "Hm…"

Dragging her feet through the grass toward the edge of the clearing she'd found him in, Sakura tried to make out what she'd seen. So many times she'd recklessly attempted to see him without the mask and then there it was…

He wasn't ugly or handsome. He was…just a guy.

"What a let down," she mumbled.

"I heard that," he shouted back.

Bar night was always a good night to be in the village, but Sakura was not at all happy about the ill-fated things that had happened during her mission. Tsunade was sure to rip a chunk of Sakura's hair out after reading an insubordination write-up. And what of Kakashi? Not only did he have his own unfortunate blandness to live with, now everyone would think he was just some lame old Jounin that couldn't keep up with the kids.

To top it off, it was a Halloween party at the pub and she had to dress up. Because of her nocuous decision to ignore a superior, and her subsequent need to grovel her way out of it, she hadn't had time to prepare anything to wear…

Ino showed up in her costume about an hour after Sakura had pulled out every article of clothing and piled them in an eclectic heap on her bed while searching for a costume. The blond – who had cut her hair so short she looked like a boy from the back – sported a red hooded cape and a short little blue gingham dress with frills and white stockings pulled up to mid-thigh.

"Slutty Red Riding Hood?" Sakura asked with a sneer. "Or cross-dressing farm boy?"

"Better than repressed bitch," Ino mumbled back, seeing Sakura still dressed in her regular outfit.

"Damn it." Sakura ignored the curt reply. "I haven't got a clue what to…"

And then suddenly, a bright light flashed on behind Sakura's eyes and she grinned deviously.

Kakashi sulked at the bar, hating to drink, hating to be around people after he'd spent all day out in the fresh air napping. But it was a compatriot's birthday and he had to bow to obligation. Not that Kakashi ever felt a huge amount of obligation to anyone, but the promise of loose women and drinking was not always a downside when getting in another ninja's good books.

His two young mutineers had entered the bar dressed as pirates, and Kakashi was tempted to take Kouji's eyepatch and stuff it down the kid's throat.

From where he sat, he could hear their animated conversation about Sakura and what they'd like to have done with her. They'd tried to get her drunk on the mission after the portly sausage-man bought drinks, but she never became as inebriated as they'd aimed for. Obviously they weren't privy to her updated status of exact replica of Tsunade.

"Wasn't Kakashi your squad leader?" Konohamaru asked from under his cowboy hat.

"Yeah. Bastard," Anari mumbled, obviously still smarting from the write up. Kakashi wondered vaguely if they'd received their punishment yet and meant to double check that it was as nasty as he'd requested.

"He'd never let you touch her. She was on his team for years so he's probably pretty protective."

Kouji puffed out his chest. "That old guy? I could take him. Besides, it seemed like he doesn't like her very much."

Konohamaru laughed heartily into the red handkerchief around his throat. "You are deluded if you think you can take him. That guy is going to be Hokage next. He's got a sharingan under that headband."

Kouji and Anari looked at each other and seemed to deflate.

Kakashi believed his righteous reputation was defended well by the young Sarutobi, and felt a little better for coming out. If he could be bothered, he would have gone over and bought the intelligent young man a drink. But, being Kakashi, the barstool was a much better place to be so the intention didn't merit the ambition. Maybe another time, he thought, despite knowing that he would probably forget the moment he left the building.

Now what to do about their discussion about Sakura… He certainly couldn't let them go on about her. Yes, she deserved a reprimand and some horrible, traumatizing punishment for going against him on a mission, but he had a heart. She was like a little sister to him…in some ways…not many…but the odd…oh, who was he kidding? She was nothing but some kid he'd taught a couple of jutsu to back in his mind-numbing teaching days. The fact that she still called him Sensei was more her habit than an indicator of a hierarchical relationship of respect, and for him, well, it was a little bit of a dirty fetish when he'd have that dream about her.

"Evening," A smooth feminine voice cut through the crowd and Kakashi looked sideways to see the oddest thing he'd encountered in a dog's age. Genma was leaning on the bar next to him and when Sakura approached, he laughed riotously. It appeared that on Halloween, nothing was taboo.

"She looks like your sexy-no-jutsu, Kakashi!" Genma laughed around his senbon until he couldn't keep his teeth closed and it dropped with a clatter to the floorboards.

Both men ogled at the two young approaching kunoichi, one dressed in a provocative story-book sort of get-up, and the other decked out in full jounin gear complete with headband, and funny enough, a mask.

"Sakura…why are you covering one eye with your headband?" Kakashi asked, his finger pointing a direct line to her face. Her hair was teased up and messy.

"It's Halloween, Sensei. And I didn't have much time to throw anything together. Then I thought of you," she laughed and it sounded muffled. "Oh, and I just winked but I guess you can't tell."

"I'm your afterthought costume choice? Wow, it just gets better and better." He shook his head in exasperation.

"Well, if you put it like that…" she huffed.

"Oh, and your playmates are over there. They've had some uncomplimentary things to say, you know." Kakashi pointed to Kouji and Anari who were deep in conversation with Chouji and Shikamaru.

Sakura's visible eye went wide and so she pushed up the headband to get a look at the chuunin pirates with both eyes.

"Ah, that's cheating," Kakashi snickered, using a finger to push the headband back down over her eye. He had to admit that her green eye looked stunning between the black mask and the headband. Maybe he would have a better dream about her tonight…

"So what are you, Sensei?" Ino asked with a look up and down his regular jounin fatigues.

"Apparently, I'm Jiraiya," he said quietly, admiring the long legs under the short skirt. He swore he'd had a dream about someone dressed like that before, and enjoyed all the dirty things that she brought to mind. Was it just him, or was super short blond hair on women sexier than hell? Dominatrixy… if there was such a word.

"Ah," Ino laughed, and winked, obviously getting the connotation and to Kakashi's delight, appreciating it.

"Well, at least we can see you wink," he laughed.

In the meantime, Sakura had wandered away from the trio and was making a bee-line to where Kouji and Anari were spreading their awful rumours. If they were telling Chouji and Shikamaru that Kakashi was washed-up, then she'd pound them both through the walls Tsunade-style.

When she got close enough to them to hear their conversation, she caught Anari saying, "Yeah, and so he reprimanded us for it, but I still think we are right."

Chouji and Shikamaru looked at the Kakashi!Sakura hybrid who wandered up and stood in their small group.

"Hey, Sakura. These two were just saying they think that…"

"That Kakashi is the best? I agree wholeheartedly. He's so amazing. I don't think there is another man like him. If these two are saying something bad, then I might have to take exception to it."

Chouji and Shikamaru's eyes widened, and the four men in the group exchanged glances like a bunch of meercats peeking out of their holes to check for danger.

"And furthermore, I don't think there is another man in this village that can do what he can do. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I really love having him behind me!" she spat out, pointing a finger at the two pirates, then at the other two of the group. "And if you two don't stop spreading lies, I'll castrate you both."

"Got it…Sakura…" Anari laughed.

"Good," she said with finality, then spun on her heel and swept back through the room.

When she rejoined the group with Kakashi, Genma and Ino, she stumbled into a strange conversation about whips and riding crops. Ino was using her hands to accentuate her point but she dropped them quickly upon seeing Sakura approach.

For some reason, Kakashi was chuckling to himself.

"What's so funny?" Sakura asked, a twitch to her eyebrow.

"I heard your conversation," Kakashi said as evenly as he possibly could, his shoulders bouncing with silent mirth.

"Oh," she mumbled. "I didn't think you'd be able to hear that over the crowd."

Kakashi chuckled again. "Super sensitive everything, remember?"

"I said that last night, didn't I..."

He nodded, and then snorted. "They're still talking."

"What are they saying?" she whispered close as she turned her head to look at the foursome glancing over at them.

Indeed, Kakashi was having quite a bit of amusement at Sakura's expense lately. It seemed she'd stumbled into a conversation at the inopportune time, mistaking the discussion to be about Kakashi's lack of skill, instead to catch the tail end of how the Chuunin felt Konohomaru was wrong and there was something torrid going on between the Copy-nin and the medic. The comment about how she liked having him behind her seemed to be stirring up all sorts of sordid notions about the deviant and perverse nature of what they must do in bed.

Sadly, Kakashi knew he could think of so many better things he'd do in bed with a nubile, flexible kunoichi like Sakura than two teenagers could ever come up with.

It was all too priceless for words. Being dragged out to a pub on Halloween was so loathsome, but Kakashi believed what was unravelling just might make up for it. Of course, he'd have to increase the entertainment factor a little longer to make it truly worthwhile.

"Hm, they think that I'm a has-been and shouldn't be in the pub anymore. They think women wouldn't go for me and that I'm old." Kakashi loved wearing a mask.

"Those bastards," she growled, lifting a cup of sake from the counter and downing it with fervour. "We'll show them."

Kakashi imagined that she would stomp over and defend his honour, but what happened next was a bit too much like finding a last delightful piece of cold pizza the morning after a bender when the hangover sets in.

Slipping her fingers around his neck, Sakura leaned close and whispered in his ear. "Just play along."

In the big scheme of things, Sakura knew she was hot. In certain circles, namely male, she knew they found her alluring and sexy. She wasn't oblivious to their stares and the way they appreciated her tighter assets. Sometimes she hated it; most times she was flattered. Not that she was arrogant about it, but attention from her was somewhat coveted among the Y chromosomal population. Since Ino got the boy cut, Sakura had reached number one on the coveted scale.

If she showed some attention to Kakashi, even though underneath that mask she knew he looked as tasteless as hummus, their tune would change in a hurry. But damned if she didn't feel a few drinks might make it easier - maybe more than a few.

Kakashi ran his hand around her waist and pulled her close. "Like this?"

"Are they still saying things?" she said as she ran her fingers into his hair.

"Yeah," he tried hard not to laugh. "They think one of us is desperate, but I won't tell you which one."

"What?" Her head snapped around and her green eyes found them through the swaying crowd. It looked like Anari and Kouji had moved onto another pair of would-be listeners and she scowled. What did she have to do to show them that Kakashi was still a great man?

As the night wore on and the attentions continued, Sakura watched the chuunins circulate the room, talking on and on about them.

Kakashi could hear everything they were saying, and found it somewhat amusing that they thought Sakura must have been drugged to hang on him like she was. It didn't say much for his character, but when had Hatake Kakashi ever cared about what chuunin thought?

Sakura was downing drinks liberally, looking increasingly more at ease with draping her limbs over him. Her fingers got bolder, masked lips found their way to his cheek and after tugging it down, her tongue to his ear. Whether she was still putting up an act, or was just too drunk to realize she was enjoying it, it made no difference to Kakashi.

He wasn't about to have sex with the former bane of his teaching existence, but he wouldn't mind taking the experimental night of entertainment to a full conclusion.

"You've got a talented tongue, Sakura," Kakashi said quietly.

"Why thank-you," she said breathily. "And you've got….uh…good posture."

"Geez," Kakashi mumbled quietly. "I'm getting tired."

"Are they still saying anything?" she slurred, pressing her body against his and gazing up at him drunkenly.

Kakashi found that in the last half-hour the group of young ninja who were taking pot shots at the beginning of the night had quite forgotten any of them were ever in the room.

"Yeah. They think you're hanging on me to get free drinks, and I'd never get a girl like you to come home with me," he said, a bit of a telling laugh mingling in with his words, but she was too drunk to figure it out.

"Well, hell," she shouted in mangled drunken speech, "let's go then!"

"Indeed," Kakashi said with a hint of intention, rising up off his barstool.

Kakashi swept in his apartment door first, Sakura stumbling over the step awkwardly as she followed behind.

"When are you going to move out of this dump, Kakashi?" Sakura snorted, tugging off her headband and feeling disoriented because she'd been looking out of one eye all night.

"When I find a nice young kunoichi to move in with," he said evenly, slipping his own headband off and tugging down his mask.

Sakura's head whipped around when she caught him de-masking out of the corner of her eye. Tilting her chin down, she examined him again in the dimmer light of the apartment. Not much had changed. Funny, he'd always had such appealing eyes, but the rest of him was average - nothing spectacular, but nothing unsightly. "Why do you wear the mask? All this time, I'd thought you'd hidden some hot face under there so women would leave you alone."

Kakashi clucked his tongue. "You sure know how to make a man feel good."

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I was just surprised, that's all."

"So, what are you doing here, anyway? You should probably go home and get some sleep," Kakashi breathed out. He was feeling markedly tired himself and was getting weary of the banter. Fun seemed to be over. Now she was just getting irritating.

"Well…you took me home, right? What do you usually do with women you manage to get here?" She raised her eyebrows, but inwardly thought he'd probably never get lucky enough to lure a woman inside his hovel.

Kakashi started laughing, actually pressing a hand to his abdomen because it hurt. "I can't do that with you. Get home before you regret defending my honour."

Sakura shrugged. "We're both here. Might as well make the best of it," she purred a little, walking toward him and sliding a finger into the mask around her chin to pull it up. "Would you prefer I keep this up?"

Kakashi's eyes widened, realizing she intended to fool around with him…maybe even sleep with him. Once again, he understood that any perceptions he had about her were now null and void. He really had no idea who she was.

"Do what you want." He lifted his shoulders diffidently, but inwardly, the nerves were cutting through his calmness.

"I want to kiss you," she said plainly, jabbing her fingers into the armholes of his vest to latch on and steer him to his small single bed in the corner of the one room apartment. Of course he offered no real resistance.

When the back of Kakashi's legs hit the bed, he sat down and looked up at her. She was gazing at him full of lust and intention. Okay, he thought after a moment of minor contemplation, why the hell not? Been a while, yes, but not too long to forget what could make her eyes roll back into her head.

Sakura turned her hips and slid closer until she was toe to toe with him. Putting a knee on the bed, then the other, she straddled his lap. Taking his face in her hands, she pressed her mouth to his in a soft kiss.

And even though he'd never intended to do anything except play around with her mind, he kissed her back, brushing his lips against hers. It was soft, and slow, just a press of her mouth to his. Then gently, he parted his lips as she did, deepening what promised to be a toe-curler…that is, until Sakura got a little more ambitious.

Suddenly her tongue was virtually tapping his uvula. It was like a bad version of Icha Icha Paradise when the girl turned into this thing with a two-foot tongue. He practically gagged as he grabbed her upper arms and pushed her away.

"What's the matter?" she hissed almost angrily.

"How about easing up on the tongue a little…"


"Haven't you…ever kissed anyone before?" He tried so hard not to laugh. Twelve was probably the age when he last asked that question.

"Of course I have," she scoffed. "And I've never had any complaints before."

"Probably because your tongue was strangling their voice box," he muttered.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi?" She scowled darkly.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he suddenly saw the bigger picture. It was his duty to teach the young kunoichi to kiss properly. Maybe this was why she unwittingly crossed his path years ago. This is why he was her Sensei. It was his duty as a man to make sure someone who looked like her didn't keep kissing people like that. She was a danger to herself and others. Besides, he couldn't let her kill someone with her choke-kiss-no-jutsu, could he? What an awful way to die.

"Mm," he hummed. "Call me Sensei…"

"Say what?"

Placing his long fingers on her face, he directed her to come closer.

"Gently, Sakura…" he whispered onto her mouth. "Soft lips. Do what I do."

She was drunk, and he was generally a pervert, but it seemed that she got the message and her mouth moved slower, her actions not so fervent.

"Nice, nice…" he breathed between soft kisses. "Slip your tongue into my mouth…but not so much…"

Finding it feeling quite sensual, Sakura went with the directions he was giving her, just using her tongue enough to feel his press against it between their mouths. It shot a jolt of warmth through her body to throb between her legs.

"That's right," he added as a whisper against the corner of her lips. "Now just a little more…"

Sakura could feel the rhythm in their movements, the gentle glide of her tongue against his, the warmth of his mouth, the way his hand slid around her and excited fingertips pressed into her back.

"How is that…Sensei…" she responded in a sultry whisper.

"Very nice… Now you can put your mouth…"

Sakura suddenly stopped for a second and stared at Kakashi. "Uh…oh…"

"What is it?" His brow creased. "Too perverted?"

"No, I have to…"

And then a life altering, traumatizing thing happened so quickly that Kakashi knew the moment it occurred, he would never get over it. Blood and gore was fine. It washed off. But this would be in his nightmares for ages to come…

It was almost slow motion when she hitched her body once and expelled the contents of her churning stomach all over them through the fingers she'd tried to cup over her mouth.

Kakashi watched her in horror as she backed up off of him and bent double to regurgitate again, this time on his feet. The sticky mess was hot and squelched into his shoes.

His own gag reflex kicked into action and he very carefully and rapidly got up and made his way to his bathroom. Quickly stripping off his clothes right down to his loose boxers, tossing them in the bathtub, he then breathed steadily in and out to try not to vomit sympathetically while propped over the porcelain sink.

After a few minutes of bolstering his self-control with words of encouragement directed at the mirror, Kakashi opened the door and poked his head out. It seemed she was finished getting sick and had face-planted against the side of his bed when she passed out.

"Great," he grumbled.

Slipping back out, he was happy to see that she'd only done some minor damage to the comforter on the side of the bed and a small pool around where his feet had been. It was strange to see the outline of his feet in what looked like rice, tomatoes and rotten eggs next to her head.


Slipping back to the bathroom, and feeling not even an ounce of remorse for leaving her in the most uncomfortable looking position with her nose basically in the emesis, Kakashi found a small bucket under the bathroom sink and filled it with hot water, poured in some lemon disinfectant, and found a ratty sponge tucked in the corner of the cupboard.

After steeling himself for his next duty and emerging from the safe zone of his bathroom, he managed to turn Sakura over without getting anymore vomit on himself and proceeded to clean up. It didn't take long, but he'd had to tie something around his face so he didn't add to the mess.

Lastly, he had to clean her up. As he started peeling layers of her clothing off, he inadvertently found she'd soaked her front right down to her bra and panties.

"Too bad, Pumpkin. Looks like it all has to come off…"

"Briiiight…" Sakura hissed groggily as she turned over and pressed her face against the warm body snoring loudly beside her. It took a second to realize that she was not in her own bed in her own apartment, and had in fact ended up in a stranger's bed.

With fear pumping her blood around her veins in a rush, she took in the sculpted torso and lean figure of a man. Then glancing further up, she found the face to be none other than Hatake Kakashi.

"Oh shit."

Trying not to shift the bed, it became suddenly obvious as she rolled to get up that she had nothing on in the way of clothing at all. Further examination produced something chunky and smelling in her hair as well as a pungent odour that filled the room.

In terror, she grabbed the first items of clothing she could find – namely a large pair of jounin pants and a clean jounin shirt, and bolted like a scared rabbit for the nearest door.

When it slammed behind her, Kakashi rolled over and was thankful that he finally had his bed to himself. And before he closed his eyes to go back to sleep, he had a good final laugh at her expense. What made the whole escapade so much sweeter was the idea that she'd receive her punishment today.

There was no way he could miss that.

"Don't you puke on me, lightweight," Anari growled to Sakura as he heaved another shovel of shale-filled mud from the deep trench.

"Shut up unless you want me to blacken your other eye, bastard," Sakura shouted back, feeling the rocky churn of an upset stomach. She supposed it didn't help that it was about a thousand degrees out and they were stuck doing manual labour in the sun. All three were covered in muck from shoulder to toes from bumping the sides of the ditch.

Kouji looked over at Anari and they took in the matching black eyes each had courtesy of the irate kunoichi and her uncontrollable insanity. All Kouji had said was that she looked like shit and then it was lights out. He refused to speak to her after that and felt that Anari was poking a tiger with a short stick by giving her lip. And this fact alone made him decide his survival skills were superior to Anari's.

"That looks like hard work," a familiar voice said apathetically from the top of the six-foot trench they were stuck in.

Sakura's eyes went wide upon seeing Kakashi crouched above her, his hands draped lazily over his knees and the orange book dangling between two fingers.

"I see you got your punishment for insubordination," he added.

"Did you request this?" Kouji asked with a huff.

"No. I guess they took pity on you. Oh, Sakura, I came by to talk to you about last night," he continued on nonchalantly, even though her face was getting redder and redder. Obviously she still hadn't figured out what happened as she displayed some difficulty in meeting his eyes.

"Not here, please," she said through clenched teeth.

"Well, when you are finished here, I have a few things I need you to do in my bedroom."

Anari and Kouji scoffed in unison, then Kouji whispered, "Told ya."

Sakura wanted so badly to turn around and tell them they were wrong, but waking up unclothed in his bed was a pretty bad sign that she'd gone a little farther than intended. She didn't remember much after kissing him.

"Can you please… just go away." She felt like crying.

"That's not what you said last night," he added, tilting his head. "Are you dumping me? I thought you wanted to get engaged."

"Uhwhaa?" she blurted out and looked up finally to see his eyes creased with his bland smile hidden for her benefit behind his mask.

"Why are you doing this?" she whimpered, jamming her shovel into the dirt and covering her eyes.

All the sounds of the shovels had stopped and Sakura felt a hot streak climb her back.

Kakashi watched her shaking with distress and felt a small amount of sympathy tug at his conscience – but only a minute little speck. He supposed letting her off the hook might be a nice thing to do.

"You remember that nothing happened, right, Sakura? You puked on yourself and passed out. I want you to come over and clean it up when you're finished digging this ditch."

He could see the immediate relief in her eyes as a large smile lit her face. "We didn't?"

"I can't get into being with a girl who uses her tongue like a battering ram," he said offhandedly.

"Suck it, Hummus. You'd be lucky to have a girl like me," she chided in response, but then grinned widely. It was hard to hide how good it felt to be unshackled from the image of herself naked on top of him, or below him for that matter.

"Just get some cleaning supplies and be at my apartment at five. Make sure you've showered too. Dirt I don't mind. But I don't think anything could be as horrible as the smell or sight of your vomit." He laughed a little and then stood up. "And get back to work."

Sakura saluted jovially, and then breathed a sigh of relief before she and the Copy-nin exchanged a sneaky look between them. It really was

When Kakashi heard the light knock at four fifty-eight, he discovered that her sense of on-time was still a little overly-anal. But he'd said five, and it was five, and his apartment still smelled like vomit so it was better early than late.

Swinging open the door, he found the medic standing there holding a bucket filled with sponges and soap, and the clothing she'd poached from him that morning draped over her arm.

"Housekeeping," she tittered.

"Right this way." Kakashi thumbed toward his bed.

Sakura started at the bathroom and filled the bucket with water and detergent, then proceeded to the other room to scrub at the stain in the carpet. To her dismay, Kakashi leisured at his small kitchen table with his book and a cup of tea. She felt his eyes on her behind the whole time.

"Um, Kakashi? Can I ask you a question?" she finally mustered the courage to query.

"Ah," he responded absently.

"Did you really mean what you said about my tongue?"

Kakashi placed the book down and tilted his head to see her glance around her luscious behind to gaze at him.

"Yes. But after we worked at it, you did just fine."

"Seriously…" she mumbled, deflated.

Kakashi lifted his book and dropped his eyes back to the pages. "Let's just hope you don't have sex like you kiss, hm," he sniggered quietly.

When silence was the only response, he looked up to see her eyeing him sheepishly.

"Ah," he said again as he stood up and started to unzip his vest. He reminded himself that it was his duty to turn her into a proper kunoichi.

"Kakashi?" she whispered, her eyes widening at his impromptu striptease.

"Call me Sensei."

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and happy halloween!

Thanks to my wonderful muse icarust and my uberbeta moderndayportia!