Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom


As a child, then soon a teenager, then to a young adult, my life sucked. I had only three friends, no boys liked me, and I wasn't very pretty. I was boring. My life was boring. Everything around me was boring. So you can probably understand why I was bored enough to pick up that strange notebook that was entitled "Death Note."

Now, I know as you listen to this tale, you're thinking "OMG! IT'S LIGHT SLASH KIRA!" But, no. I'm a female and my name is Nozomi. Alright, now you're thinking "but if you found the Death Note, and Light doesn't exist, then how do you know about the real 'Death Note'?" First off, this IS the real 'Death Note'. And second of all, Light exists in another dimension. It's the same as this, but he finds the Death Note rather than me. That's the only difference….Plus a few more. I'll tell you how I know that later on. Alright, back to the story…

How was I supposed to know that the Death Note was a killing machine? That it would turn me into an evil and somewhat crazy murderer? It was terrible. Especially the people I was supposed to help find Kira (me). They were nerve wrecking…Except the adorably quirky leader….

Crap! Getting ahead of myself here. Alright, from the beginning. It was a beautiful day in Japan when I suddenly noticed a notebook lying in the grass….

"The Death Note, huh?" I mumbled to myself, picking up the small black book. "The hell kind of joke is this? 'The person's name whose name is written in this note shall die?' What a load of crap…" I dropped it and began walking away. I was barely at the front of my school when I turned around.

It was easy sneaking it home. The only people who ever talked to me were Sakurenbo, Keiko and Minami anyway. And it's not like they were going to rummage around in my backpack. And getting it home was easier. My younger sister doesn't really care much, and my mom knows it would piss the hell out of me if she went through my backpack.

The first thing I did when I got home was, in order

1: Make sure the Death Note was still in my bag.

2:Be sure my mom or sister didn't see it.

3: Go to the kitchen to eat a piece of cake…(alright, two)

4) Go up to my room.

5) Kill a criminal on TV (though I didn't intend to)

"Oh God…" I mumbled when I realized the man had died. "If…if this thing is real, then…" I turned to stare at the Death Note. "…I have to try it out again. Just to be sure."

"Nozomi!" my mother called. "You better get to cram school!"

"I KNOW! DEAR GOD, MOTHER!" I stuffed the Death Note in my bag before heading off to school.

"Hey! Nozomi!" Minami called and jumped down beside me.

"Wanna skip school and get a couple beers?" Sakurenbo asked.

I shook my head. "Sorry. My dad will kick my ass if he finds out I skipped school to get a beer again."

"Well, that sucks," Sakurenbo sighed in her deep Osakan accent.

"We can never go out for a drink without someone getting into trouble," Keiko said.

For my whole life, I only had three friends. Kokoro Minami was a hyperactive weirdo who was rather clumsy, but still cute. Minami was sort of shy, but she could easily kick the ass of anyone who pissed her off. She could never get a boyfriend who she really liked and would always beat herself up about that. Because of that, she observes every man she meets fairly closely. And nearly half of them end up being "the one" for her, when in reality they don't last a week. Minami had wavy blond hair that went down mid-back. It had a bit of a spring, but not really. She usually made her bangs cover her eyes, because she thought her eyes were weird. One was blue, the other green. She didn't really think it was possible for her to get a guy. (She ends up with one of the DN characters later on, but I'm not saying who! XD Aren't I evil?)

Next was Rizuka Sakurenbo (Saku-chan) . She was from Osaka and had a deep accent to prove it. She was sort of spacey and ditzy and didn't really do much aside from sitting there with her relaxed day dream expression. But she was smart when she wanted to be. Sakurenbo, surprisingly, was the only one of our quartet to have a boyfriend. She had shoulder length brown hair with Hamtaro hair clips. Her purple eyes were large and pretty. She was sort of the weird one and would always make strange comments at random moments.

My third friend was Tanizaki Keiko. Keiko was quiet and always emotionless. I hadn't seen her smile since we were twelve. She reminded me of Yuki Nagato. Keiko was very beautiful and got asked out a lot, but after a while, she just figured men to be a waste of time. But she was rather scary when mad, though you could never tell she was angry. Her expression stayed dull and uncaring 24/7. Keiko had, surprising, strawberry-blond hair that was draped around her shoulders. But everything else about her was black as hell. She always wore a black skirt with chains on it, a black blouse with crosses drawn all over it, black combat books, and black and red striped stockings. And her make-up? She always put on enough eyeliner to make her look like a raccoon. But, either way, she was nice. To us, anyway. Believe it or not, she actually had fanboys, who would do nothing short of stalk her. She was cruel and mean to them.

But then there was me. I was the more average girl in my quartet of friends. I had black hair that was tied into a two limp ponytails that were tied in the back and ran down my back with Hello Panda hair ties. My clothes were normal, just the regular blouse and jeans. I often wore my reading glasses wherever I went, because they made me look smarter. Not that I needed them. I was at the top of my class. And I was short for my age. Like, really short. Like, 5'3 or something. And, like I said before, I was super smart, but I acted super dumb sometimes too. I had this obsession with male porn and anime. It was physically impossible for me to get a boyfriend, so I used the men in magazines and anime. What? It isn't weird!

"So, Saku-chan, how's it going with Eiichiro?"

She grinned. "Oh, fantastic! He kissed me last night! For the first time!"

I smiled with her. "That's great, Saku-chan!"

"I wish some guy would kiss me," Minami sighed. "Dammit, I need a boyfriend!"

"Oh, and…" her voice became nervous and she gulped. "He…he wants to know if I…want to sleep with him."

My eyes grew wide. Not because I was surprised that Sakurenbo's easy-going boyfriend would want to sleep with her. Because no guy had ever asked me to do it was why I was shocked. I was eighteen years old and still a virgin. Sakurenbo? Oh, she lost her virginity before we even entered high school. Though it was still a sensitive topic for her. But I digress.

"Wow…" I mumbled. "What did you say?"

Saku-chan sighed before looking away. It took me a moment to realize that she was crying.

"Hey…Sakurenbo…" Minami mumbled before we all started hugging her. Is this what happened when there was someone who actually loved you? Crying all the time? I glanced up at the sky as Saku-chan buried her face in my abnormally flat chest (another reason why not many boys liked me). I was willing to sacrifice it. I didn't even care if I became depressed after getting a boyfriend who really loved me. At least I would love him and he would love me and we would be happy forever and ever.

But I was talking about me. And no one will ever love me.

Cram school that night was exceedingly boring. While everyone else was studying, I was thinking about what I would do with the Death Note. 'What if it is real?' I thought. 'What if the next person's name I wrote down next would end up really killing someone? Well, just in case, it has to be someone who deserves it…'

"Hey, buddy, Ryo."

"What is it, Sudoh?"

I shot a glance at Sudoh and his friends who were surrounding Ryo, one of my many play toys (egging his house, calling him 'pussy', what have you).

"Weren't you going to own me twenty dollars?"

"What? But I can't do that…"

'Sudoh…' I thought sourly. 'Maybe I should try killing him…No. I shouldn't kill people I know. But then again…does it really matter? I mean, would anyone really care if a guy like that was to just disappear?'

As I walked home that night, I began thinking more and more about the notebook. 'Man, all this crime now…It makes you wonder if you'd actually be doing society a favor by getting rid of all these people.' I went into a tiny store to get the latest male porno, Cheetos, a grape Fanta and an orange Fanta. I didn't care much for the orange Fanta, but it tasted very good when mixed with grape. I also grabbed some cupcakes. God, I love cupcakes. I loved all sweets. It was a real wonder how I hadn't gotten diabetes by now.

"Hey, pretty lady."

I glanced up from the porno and saw three men outside the window, circling a girl about my age.

"You wanna come hang with us?"

"Yeah, Tako can spot hot girls a mile away!"

"Please, I don't want any trouble," the girl begged.

"Aww, she doesn't want trouble." The leader and ugliest took off his sunglasses. "Hey. I'm Tako Shubimaru. Sure you don't want to come?"

"I mean it, no!" the girl retorted.

"Fine; let's strip her now!" the men began removing her clothes.

"No! Help me!"

It was then that I pulled out the Death Note. Once the name was written, the girl managed to run away across the street. Tako followed her on his motorcycle.

And was hit by a truck.

"Hey! Tako! Are you alright!?"

'Sweet merciful crap…' I thought to myself. I rushed away from the window. I ran to the door in a panicky way, when I realized I still had my Cheetos and such. I threw them on the counter and quietly paid for them. Once I was done, I proceeded to run out of the store gasping.

"I…I killed them!" I panted to myself when I arrived in a dark alley. "I killed two men! I'm a murderer!" Then I stopped and thought for a moment. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe…just maybe…


Those next few days, I killed none stop. From robbers to murderers, every criminal announced on the TV and radio. I was on a freaking death spree. Now I know why Gaara from that one anime always enjoyed killing: it was fun! You know, when you're killing the bad guys. But sometimes, just for funsies, I would kill off bad role models and comedians that mocked other people's race and stuff like that. Brittany Spears was first. ( XD) But, seriously, this felt awesome. First of all, I was, like, some new world God or something! Second of all…well, that was sort of all. Oh, yeah, and I'd be helping people too, I guess…

All was going well.

But then one day, after about a week of using the Death Note, I came home, just as usual.

"What a nice surprise. You're home early," My mother said, after greeting me at the door.

"Uh, yeah, I…" I noticed she had her hands out, as if expecting me to give her something. Sighing, I took the results of the Nation Wide Exams out of my backpack and game them to her.

"Oh, look! Number one again! You're doing so good, Nozomi!" she said while I began trudging up the stairs.

"Thanks, mom." That's the only bad thing about being a genius; you're parents never stop going on and on about how smart you are.

"Nozomi!" my mother called. "You know, if you want anything, dear, you can just ask."

"GOD, I KNOW THAT, MOTHER!" I yelled. "GOSH!" Once I was in my room with the door locked, I smirked to myself. "I've already got what I want." I yanked open my drawer and pulled out the Death Note, looking at the dozens of names I had already written. All the criminals I had already killed.

And I laughed.

"You've taken quite a liking to it."

I was shocked by the voice. I snapped my head around to see a big, shadowy figure. When the thunder and lighting struck, I saw it was a monster with blue hair and big wings who looked vaguely like a clown. I hated clowns. "OMG WTF!!!" I screamed, falling out of my chair.

"There's no reason to be surprised," it said.

"Uh, yeah! I just found a freaking CLOWN in my room, you BASTARD!" I cried. "Did Minami set this up? Am I on Scare Tactics or something?"

It ignored my questions. "I am the shinigami Ryuk. That there is my Death Note."

"How did Minami know I have a Death Note?"

"Look, you're friend didn't set this up, okay kid?"

Quivering, I slowly stood up, holding onto my chair for support. "A shinigami? The god of death. Well I'm not surprised."

Ryuk raised an eyebrow. I noticed he had crossed eyes. "You weren't surprised? Then why the hell did you think I was a clown?"

"Oh, screw you!" I cried. "But…in fact, Ryuk… I've been expecting you."

"Yes, because all humans scream when they see someone they're expecting."

I decided to ignore him. "I've already figured out the Death Note is real. It didn't take me very long. And now that I've witnessed the proof of it's power…I only feel more confident in what I want to do."

"That's interesting," Ryuk said. "I certainly wasn't expecting this. Especially from a girl who's so blond."

"What? I'm not blond!"

"Really? I thought humans considered black hair to be called 'blond.' But, anyway, several Death Notes have made their way into the human world, but you're the first to have written this many names. Look at how many people you've killed in only five days."

I flashed him a half smile. "I've already prepared myself, Ryuk. I used the notebook, knowing it belonged to a shinigami. And not that shinigami has come. So, aren't you going to take my soul?"

"What're you taking about? Is that some retarded human legend? No. I'm not going to do anything to you."

"Oh, awesome!" I cried.

"The notebook becomes a part of the human world the minute it touched the earth. So this Death Note belongs to you now."

I felt my eyes grow wide. "It…it's mine?"

"If you don't want it, just give it to someone else. But then I'd have no choice but to erase your memories of me and the Death Note," Ryuk said.

No matter how much I wanted to get the mentally scarring imagine of Ryuk's freakish monster-ness out of my head, I ignored that comment. "Wait, so you're telling me I can use the Death Note all I want and I won't be punished? Hells yeah!"

"Not exactly," the shinigami said to me. "Let's just say you will feel the pain and fear only humans who use the Death Note will feel. And when it's your time to die, I will write your name in my Death Note. Be warned…whoever writes even a single name in the Death Note can neither go to Heaven nor Hell for all eternity."

"So I'll be a ghost?"

"No, you won't be a ghost!" he snapped. "You'll just turn to nothingness."

I was about to say screw it with the Death Note, when my mom suddenly knocked on the door. "Nozomi?" she called.

"Aww, frick!" I gasped. "Quick, hide under my bed!"

Ryuk kept his expression the same, though I knew he was thinking I was an idiot. "I'm a god of death, not your delinquent boyfriend who's run away from home. It'll be fine. She can't see me."

I shoved the Death Note under my bed and went to answer the door. "What is it, mom?"

"I thought you might like some apples," she said. "The neighbor's brought them over." She looked past me. "Why is it so dark in here? You'll ruin you're eyesight, Nozomi."

"Yeah, yeah, thanks mom," I said, taking the apples and closing the door. "Why the hell couldn't she see you?" I demanded of Ryuk.

"See what, Nozomi?" my mom called.

"GOD, not YOU, mother! GOSH!" I averted my attention back to Ryuk, who was chugging down the apples like it was his last meal ever. "Hey! Those are mine, you bastard!"

"Human world apples are…how would you say?…Juicy?"

"Uh…yeah…" I said nervously. "So, uh, why couldn't she see you?" Ryuk was about to answer me when I suddenly thought of a much better question. "Wait, why did you choose me, Ryuk?"

The shinigami suddenly laughed. "Chose you? Don't flatter yourself. Did you honestly think I chose to give the Death Note to you because you're so smart or something? I just happened to drop it around here. You just happened to pick it up. You're not that special."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Well, then why'd you drop it in the first place? It makes no sense, really."

"You're telling me about making sense? You're the one who thought a god of death was a clown."

"Would you get over that?" I shouted.

"Get over what, Nozomi?"

"GOD, MOM! DOD YOU FRIGGING MIND?! I'M TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION UP HERE!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs before turning back to Ryuk. "You were saying? Why you dropped the notebook?"

"I was bored." I merely stared at Ryuk with a shocked expression. "Believe it or not, the job of a shinigami is pretty much boring. We usually spend the whole day napping or gambling. And it wouldn't make sense to write a human's name in our Death Notes, seeing as we live in a whole other realm. And whenever you do write a name in the notebook, they just laugh at you for working so hard. I wanted a little bit of excitement."

I smirked to myself. "Really? Well, let me tell you, Ryuk…" I looked up at the shinigami. I could feel my eyes piercing red. "I've been bored, too."

He snapped his head up to look at me. "Really, now?"

"Yup," I said in the happy-go-lucky tone I knew was completely irrelevant to this particular topic. "And I'll admit, the Death Note has given me some bad dreams. I've hardly slept in the past five days. I've lost ten pounds! Well, that's not exactly a bad thing, but I digress. I'm on a mission, Ryuk. I've already done away with the world's most hard-earned criminals. All the information I need is right here in my room. Twenty-four hour news network, plus the internet. But everyone knows the internet will betray us one day…" I grinned. "Once I do away with all the most horrible criminals, I'll kill those who the world could just live without."

"But then that would only make you the world's last criminal."

I looked up at Ryuk, my smile staying in place. "What're you talking about, Ryuk? By getting rid of all the horrible people in the world, I will be justice. I will create a new world where only people I accept will live. And…I will be the god of this new world!"

"Ooh. Shooting for the stars, are we?"

"Shut up! This is a dramatic moment!"