Disclaimer: Any recognisable characters (of which there's only one) and the idea of Death Note do not belong to me.
A/N: Written in haste, and was technically an entry for dn_contest on LJ (prompt: Halloween). Enjoy!
Warning: This is weird. Really weird.
They start when she's reclining on the coats and pillows she'd dragged to a corner of the room as a makeshift bed, smoking a joint and stroking her protruding belly. She ignores them, those small sudden twists in her inside, when a bigger one makes her gasp and drop her joint. And as she scrabbled for it, hazily knowing that they'd kill her if she'd burn down the squat, she thinks vaguely that it would be nice if Gem had stayed with her instead of leaving her alone in the dark while he went out with the others.
She hadn't wanted to venture out into the cold October night, beacuse she'd been feeling unwell all morning, but now she's worried because what will she do if Gem goes with another girl and leaves her on her own?
She can't live without him. She can't.
So she pushes herself up, ignoring the pain in her back, and goes out into the darkness, to find him.
The streets are dark and there's no moon and she wonders why nothing is familiar, why the world shifts and change as she walks. And then she sees it, no them, coming towards her, ghastly green figures dressed in black, and she stifles a scream and shrinks back, heart beating wildly.
Monsters, she thinks frantically, and presses her back to the wall trying to hide in the shadows, holding her breath as they pass
'..I'm telling you, mate, it's a fucking rip-off…'
'…you need to get laid mate…'
when she realises they're nothing but men with their faces painted to look like monsters, out to celebrate and her knees almost give way with relief.
It's Hallow's eve. Halloween.
When the dead mingle with the living.
For some reason it strikes her as funny, and she starts giggling uncontrollably. Is she alive or is she one of the ghosts which haunt the world? She's dead to so many people, the people she knew when she had a home and money, when she was one of the rich kids at a private school, when she dropped pleases and thankyous all over the place and couldn't recognise a prick even if it dangled in front of her.
She laughs and laughs and wraps her stick thin arms round herself, hugging herself like she wishes Gem would hug her and now she's crying and sobbing because she's lonely and lost and wants to go home.
She has to find him. She has to.
She drags herself along leaning on the wall whimpering, as she struggles to place one foot in front of the other as the floor keeps moving. Jack-o'-lanterns grin at her from some windows and even though she knows that they're nothing but carved pumpkins she tries to hurry past. She wants Gem to be there with her, she wants him to hold her hand and take her somewhere safe, but Gem's out with the rest for a night of riotous drinking with obligatory lay at the end which she couldn't give him.
And then it starts.
The pain, unexpected and excruciating, blinds her and she gasps and stumbles, nearly falling before hitting someone who grabs her by the arms. Terror nearly chokes her as she feels a sudden alarming wetness between her legs, and she looks up at her captor, his face hidden in the shadows, who's scanning her body speculatively. "Help me," she begs, but there's disgust in his eyes and he pushes her away.
"Trust my fucking luck to find a knocked up bitch."
There are others with him, and when she begs again
help me help me help me please please oh please
they laugh raucously and push her around, making lewd jokes at her expense. And the pain comes again and she heaves and gasps, bringing up the contents of her stomach and the laughter turns to snarls and curses and someone shoves her away and she falls.
She's alone when she wakes up, lying in a puddle of her own vomit. Wave upon wave of nausea hits her, and she retches but there's nothing more she can bring up. Oh god, she'd give anything for something to take away the edge off reality, a joint or a stiff drink, anything to hide the stink of her clothes, to stop the throbbing pain in her head and the sudden sharp aches which make her whimper and clutch at her stomach.
She gets unsteadily onto her feet and walks blindly, following the noise of people celebrating.
There are suddenly people and monsters everywhere, cheering, dancing, and she can't tell anymore if they're real or fake, if they're the living or the dead and she pushes true, half-crying in despair. She weaves dizzily through the crowds of leering faces and loud music. Someone grabs her arm, and she turns to look with a sudden surge of hope that Gem has found her at last.
She screams as a white face with blood all over it stares at her, and she's aware of the raising of voices and she's dizzy and stumbling again and then she feels an arm around her
"Are you alright, kid?"
and a grinning death's head is looking at her, and she's relieved, so relieved because she's so tired. 'Take me,' she says desperately, reaching out to it, and the look on its face turns to worry and it moves back and this strikes her as funny because why should death worry? She laughs and laughs, until tears spill out and her insides ache and she's falling again
"Someone call an ambulance!"
and she hears voices all around her, and her head's in a whirl, wherever she looks she sees ghouls and demons and witches surrounding her, looking, looking, looking
"Careful now, there, just rest there like a good girl."
while Death helps her lie down and she smiles at it gratefully. 'I've been waiting for you,' she tells it before she opens her mouth and starts screaming again and again as the pain restarts, tearing her apart as though determined to pay back for the brief respite.
She screams. The pain is sharp, back breaking, unrelenting, and it squeezes her insides like a torturer's tool, and she wonders if this is payback for her many sins.
But there's just one sin which has brought this on, the sin she's been trying to forget even though it's been growing inside her for so long.
"Move away, move away, ambulance coming through!"
Her breath hitches and she gasps as she feels the hands grasping her, someone fumbling at her trousers, and is it Gem who's come for her? But those aren't his hands and she tries to kick them away
Not again, please please not again
but they're holding down her legs and they're doing something to her
it's too painful, God stop it, someone stop it
and she can't run away because they're too strong and her skinny little body can't do anything about it because she's weak, she's always been too weak to save herself.
"Calm down sweetheart, calm down, it will be ok."
But it's all lies because it still hurts, it still fucking hurts.
She can smell the blood.
And she looks around for Death, calling for him, but he's left her too and there are only white and green clad figures flitting within her area vision and she wants to cry so badly because she's screwed up so badly and everyone's turned their back on her and
she wants her mother.
She wants Gem.
She wants warmth.
She wants to die.
"…we're losing her!"
Where is she?
"Keep your eyes open girl, keep your eyes open!"
But she doesn't really want to, not anymore. Because nothing really matters now and somehow she knows that she's about to cross the line.
"Start CPR now!"
And everything is blurred and going dark, and the last thing she hears as she fades away into blissful oblivion is a child's shrill cry.
And no, I have no idea where this came from either T_T. Sheesh.
Comments are welcome, and thank you for reading