I don't own Eyeshield 21

The pick-up line in this one was suggested by: just a rambling romantic.

Read the A/N below for a contest announcement, please. Enjoy~!

Mamori's lists weren't new; she'd been making Sena lists ever since grade school. Lists of what foods were best for him to eat, what places were safe for him to play, what television shows were good for him to watch. She had made him so many lists that she could make a list of all the lists she has ever made for Sena! This was her masterpiece, though.

She noticed in November that it looked like he'd finally hit his last growth spurt. She had also noticed he was starting to garner more attention in his personal life after being revealed as Eyeshield in his athletic life. She had watched her childhood friend interact with people closely and she knew this would be the most important list she would ever have to make. Mamori would not permit Sena to be caught unaware.


For two consecutive weeks, Mamori-nee had been staring at him intently. Sena was a little unnerved being the subject of such intense scrutiny, but she was always a little off before she made him lists. It didn't bother Sena as much as when other people stared at him; at least he knew what was running through her mind. Minute calculations, percentages, and psychoanalysis of basic behavioral patterns. Like he said. Understand; not comprehend. But then she started staring at other people. Not by themselves; it was like there was an invisible fifteen foot perimeter around Sena, that if any teammate stepped into they would be visually dissected.

When she presented the list to Sena after practice, she'd delivered it with a stern warning.

"Sena, I know you sometimes wonder if I go a little overboard in protecting you, but this is really, really important! Please memorize it, and if you notice anyone exhibiting these characteristics, it's imperative to run in the opposite direction as quickly as possible," She told him gravely.

"Mamori-nee?" Sena questioned, looking up at her. His eyes were wide with confusion, but she could still see the trust shining in them.

She sighed a little at the adorable look; really, he was just illustrating her point. "Just trust me, alright? Some people don't have the best intentions, and it would be safest if you knew what to look out for."

"Al-alright," Sena agreed, reaching out for the list with trembling fingers, a little startled by her intensity.

Only to drop his jaw comically, and stare at it with wide blank eyes.

'Mamori's Super-Ultra List To Protect Sena From Perverts.'

"Mam-Mamori-nee? What the heck is this!?" He demanded incredulously.

"Just what it says, Sena. There has been a lot of interest in you, and not all of it has been female. I just want you safe, Sena." She gave him her saddest, most worried look, hoping to guilt him into compliance of memorization.

"…Fine," Sena sighed, caving easily to his friend. "But it's not like it'll ever happen."

But what was incredibly odd, was that he'd sometimes catch little bits of characteristics from 'The List' (as it'd become in his mind, italics and capital letters included) in even his own teammates.

Once in a while, Juumonji-kun would stand closer than strictly necessary to talk strategy or class work. And he'd noticed that sometimes when he was one of only three or four people in a group, Hiruma's eyes wouldn't leave his for quite a while. And occasionally, (thought it was really quite rare,) Musashi-san seemed to be flexing a little more was normal to pull on a fresh shirt.

Not that Sena had noticed before 'The List'. It wasn't fair. Sena wanted his obliviousness back.

And it wasn't that Sena would run away from his teammates; that would just lead to more awkward questions and situations.

So, Sena compromised. He'd decided that if anyone, anyone, exhibited more than three characteristics at any given time, he'd bow to Mamori-nee's wishes and run.

What he hadn't expected, was for Shin-san to be the one to fulfill the list.


Example #1 Outside the Son Son Market:


"Kobayakawa!" Shin hailed the boy leaving the market as Shin happened to be jogging by.

Sena smiled at Shin. He really enjoyed spending time with the other boy. He was really happy they'd met up like this, although it wasn't on Shin's jogging route. What a happy coincidence! Sena's smile froze in place. Coincidence? Surely not…

"Shin-san!" He greeted while struggling heroically with his half-frozen mind. "I haven't seen you in a while, have you been feeling better?" His smile became less forced, pleased that he'd found an appropriate topic with which to distract himself.

Then Sena noticed Shin-san's eye contact. The other footballer hadn't glanced away once, not even when the loud group of kids passed behind him.

It… It couldn't be… Was Shin-san just a little bit taller today?

"Kobayakawa. I have a question for you." Shin started.

Sena snapped back from his horror, determined not to jump to weird conclusions. "Yes? What it is Shin-san?"

After listening to Shin-san's… Shin-san's… joke…? Sena made his excuses and bolted. Sena all but flew. 'That wasn't even on the list' he cried silently. As he ran for the safety of home, he tried to sort through the odd encounter in his mind.

'Of course he didn't hit on me. That's just impossible. Maybe one of his teammates thought it would be funny to tell him that that's how we greet each other on the team. Or maybe he read it in a book and didn't quite understand it. Either way, Shin-san did not just hit on me.' Sena's thought were flying around in his head almost as quickly as his feet on the ground. 'Shin-san did not just hit on me.' He repeated internally, letting the bag containing the milk slip down his wrist so he could place both of his hands on his cheeks, in an almost childish attempt to either cover up the blush or confirm it was there.

'No matter how cute Shin-san looked using such a dorky line like that.' A treacherous little whisper trailed though his mind, ignoring his previous resolve of not thinking about it. Sena ran faster, determined to shut himself in his room and shoot enough zombies on his game system to drown out that obnoxious voice.


Sena was more than a little skittish for the rest of the month. Shin-san said weird things two more times and it was really worrisome. It also didn't help that over the course of three weeks, Shin-san had hit every single characteristic that Mamori-nee warned him about.

Not that that meant Shin-san was hitting on him.

Nor did it mean that Sena was jumping and hiding behind the nearest (relatively) stationary person/object to hide whenever a suspicious sound was made.

The fact that he happened to be hiding behind Juumonji-kun was incidental.

Juumonji craned his neck to look over his shoulder where Sena was gripping his jersey and huddled against his back with his eyes shut tightly.

"You being picked on again?" He asked, only vaguely interested. It was probably just Hiruma messing with the running back.

"N-no! Of course not! What makes you say that, Juumonji-kun?" Sena responded, neither budging nor opening his eyes.

"Fucking shrimp! Get your ass over here!" Hiruma growled from across the practice field.

'Speak of the devil,' Juumonji chuckled to himself.


Sena preceded Hiruma into the clubroom, and jumped behind the table when Hiruma slammed the door shut behind them.

"Alright, what the fuck is up with this?" Hiruma demanded.

"With what?" Sena questioned innocently, only his eyes quickly scanning the room and his hands tightly gripping the table's edge visible.

Hiruma didn't dignify that with a response. That didn't stop him, however, from dignifying it with a hand gun.

"Alright, alright!" Sena raised himself up a bit, hands above his head to show he was unarmed, his head rising above the relative safety of the table line. "There's been… this person… following me around, saying weird things."

"That fucking Ace? So what?" Hiruma asked, disassembling one of his larger rifles to clean it, but making a point to have the hand gun still pointing at Sena.

"You knew?!" Sena gaped. "You knew and you didn't do anything?!" He repeated, becoming more and more outraged.

"What did you want me to do? Set up a fucking arranged marriage?" Hiruma asked dryly, after shifting the hand gun on the table slightly to emphasize he was answering because he wanted to, not because a five-foot-tall running back demanded it.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Sena replied calmly, not meeting his eyes.

Hiruma slammed his hand on the table, and looked for where Sena was hiding this time. Eyes peeked out from around the door of the storage closet. Making the logical leap, Hiruma addressed the eyes.

"He's been hitting on you all month!"

"No he hasn't, he's Shin." Sena responded automatically.

"That doesn't mean he wants to jump you any less."

Sena watched in a mixture of fascination and horror as Hiruma's annoyance melted away into an odd grin.

"Maybe you're right."

Sena started trembling a little.

"I'll help you out fucking shrimp."

Sena darted back into the closet.

"Fucking ace loves football more than anything right? So let's set up a practice game this weekend. From there, we'll see if he's been hitting on you or not." Hiruma seemed to forget Sena was even there to explain to, as he picked up one of his cells and started dialing.

Sena did not have a good feeling about this.


Game day rolled around, and the lack of crowds did nothing to sooth Sena's nerves. Hiruma-san never missed a chance for publicity.




If Sena believed in omens, he'd have turned around the minute he heard the familiar chorus. Alas; Sena was a dependable running back and friend, and instead chose to follow the cries to the source.

"Kuroki-kun? What's wrong?" Sena asked the closest brother.

"Kazu's been moved off the line." He responded angrily. "Where's the bastard that stole his spot!" He demanded looking around Sena, trying to find the guilty party.

"I… I don't know, why are you asking me?" Sena choked out, scared.

"You're the last one here, and other than that devil, you're the only one who recruits." He responded curtly. "Kazu, I'm gonna check in the club house, maybe Hiruma has him tied up in there." He called over his shoulder.


Sena looked over to where Hiruma was cackling madly and started praying to any deity he could remember the name of that he was wrong.

"Better get suited up, fucking shorty!" He laughed.

With internal tears, and an external sigh, Sena trudged back to the clubhouse. To his shock, Hiruma seemed to be following him.

"Can I help you with something, Hiruma-san?" Asked Sena politely, although he suspected he already knew the answer.

"You're taking the oldest brother's place on the line." Hiruma's grin never faltered.

"Bu-but I'll be crushed!" Sena protested uselessly.

"And memorize one of these, be sure to be able to repeat it back to me on command." Hiruma shoved a stack of note cards into Sena's hands.

"Hiie?!" Sena tried to balance the stack, of course Hiruma would hand them to him when he's got his jersey half on and can barely hold on to them. "Hiruma-san?" He questioned.

Sena heard the cocking of a gun, and decided he didn't really have any questions after all.


Trembling and twisting the hem of his game jersey, Sena slowly made his way onto the field. Before he'd taken more than ten steps to the line, Hiruma popped up out of nowhere.

"Which one did you pick?" He asked casually, leaning his re-assemble rifle over his shoulder.

Sena slowly, shyly handed his chosen index card back to Hiruma.

"Che," The quarter back snorted. "Figures you'd pick the tamest one. Whatever, get into the line."

"Hi-Hiruma-san, just because you have a plan doesn't mean I'll be any less… crushed…" Sena's argument was crushed by a single manically grin. "Yes, sir." Sena squeaked and bolted for the line.


"Juumonji-kun, I'm really, really sorry, but Hiruma-san has another weird plan, and wants to have me play your position for a while… but I don't know for how long…" Sena looked down, shame-faced at usurping a friend's position.




"And Mamori-san's alright with this?" Toganou asked.

"She-she had a meeting today, she can't make it," Sena told the clump of dirt at his feet.

Unexpectedly, Juumonji just shrugged.

"Well, if it's Hiruma, you didn't have much of a choice to begin with. Don't get crushed," he instructed as he jogged away to find his new position.


"Takami-san, what is Eyeshield 21 doing on the line?"

Takami whipped his head around quickly, needing to see confirmation of the information his linemen were bringing him.

His jaw dropped, seeing #51 in the backfield, and – sure enough – Eyeshield on the line. He seemed to be shaking, but numbers 52 and 53 seemed to be joking with him.

"Shin-san, could you come over here?" Takami called, not taking his eyes off the running back turned lineman.

"Takami," Shin greeted, eyes not leaving Eyeshield either.

"I don't trust Hiruma. I want you to take Uemura Naoki's spot on the line, and cover Eyeshield."

"Yes," Shin agreed, already moving into position.


Sena trembled, his hands sweaty and hot, no matter how often he wiped them on his uniform. Why did he agree to go along with Hiruma's plans again?

"Well," Hiruma drawled over to Takami, "We don't seem to have a referee, so we'll have to use our best judgment." He grinned.

Takami smirked smoothly, "I suppose you'd like to play offence first." He offered graciously.

"Indeed I would." Hiruma agreed.

Sena shook.

"Huddle up!" Both team captains called.

"Remember this is just a practice game. Don't get hurt." Was Takami's last instruction before Ootawara lead the battle cry.

As the team ended their yell, Deimon's cry died down, and the team moved into positions.

This, of course, meant a stare down between Sena and Shin.

"Fucking Shrimp," Hiruma barked before starting an abnormally long series of 'hut's.

"Ye-yes!" Sena jumped. Much more quietly, he addressed his rival. "Sh-Shi-Shin-san, there's been so…something I've been meaning to ask you…"

Shin nodded.

"Shin-san, do you have a mirror in your pocket?"

"Sena-kun." Sena flushed a little at the familiar honorific. "Uniform pants don't have pockets." Shin finished, confused.

Sena shut his eyes tightly, knowing that certain death loomed on one side of the field, and certain humiliation on the other. "'Cuz I can see myself in your pants!" He blurted out, humiliated.

Shin's eyes went blank trying to understand the situation, before darkening noticeably.

He reached over, threw Sena on his shoulder, and walked off the field.

"Hey! What the hell? Where are you going with Sena?!?" Demanded Monta, irate.

"What? Wait, what?" Yukimitsu asked.

"Well, I'd call that a Deimon victory," Hiruma said casually, stretching from being hunched over for 25 'hut's.

"What?! How is that a victory?" Takami demanded.

"False start on the defense. And since neither of us want to play without our aces, I think from your linebacker's shameful behavior, the Deimon-Oujou record is now 2-2" He grinned.

"Oi, fucking oldest brother, if you want your crush back; you should probably go after them before he gets molest~ed!" Hiruma crowed, taking entirely too much amusement out of his running back's kidnapping.

"Shit!" Juumonji, flushed and then paled, before taking off in the direction Shin escaped with his captive.

"That is in no way a Deimon victory!" Takami argued, moving to follow Hiruma back to the Deimon clubhouse, despite the apparent lack of interest.

"Hey! Listen to me!" He demanded.

On his way to the clubhouse, he stepped over an unconscious Sakuraba, whose soul seemed to be leaking out of his mouth…

Reviews, plz?

Anyway, Mamori's list:

1) Touching (Don't let him invade your personal Space!)

2) 'Coincidental' meetings. (Seeing him more and more often, 'coincidentally'.)

3) Smooth clothing/hair (This is a sign that the male is 'preening'

4) Flexing (overt or covert)

5) Eye Contact (trying to make a connection)

6) Standing taller

6) Belt loops/hands on hips

What does it mean when a guy starts doing these things? Hint: It's why Mamori would label them a perv, when they do it to Sena. And what's a contest w/o a prize? Winner (first 1-3 people to figure it out and either put it in a review or PM me,) gets to pick what I update/write first. Excluding ES27 ch 7, because I'm starting that tomorrow, but including ES27 ch 8.

Story notes:

I ended that kinda chaotically. And I want to bring up the point, in case you (or anybody) didn't notice… that was the least horrible pick-up line Hiruma gave Sena XDD

Srsly you guys, it took me five tries to write this. I hated every single draft before this

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and below I'd like to thank my anon reviews, 'cuz I can't respond without an email address

Thanks to: jello4dem, the anime girl, jarika, Marnie, and Graverunner.