I wrote this because the pairing is totally cute and I'm taking a break from my other stories right now. Im writing the chapters of the current and new stories.
Anyways, here are the rules for this fic because Im not playing games:
1. Gin is friggin totally awesome and Tōshirō is here to share that awesomness.
2. Flame something else, flamers. You knew what you were getting into when you read the summary.
3. My story, my rules. Like these.
4. Story takes place before the Arrancar, Hueco Mundo, and Captain Amagai arcs.
5. This is one of many Bleach fics. Oh yes.
6. I take reviews in the form of text, song, essays and high-pitched squeals, and cookies.
Fuyu no Hanabi
Shinso, I don't know what love is. Do you?
The thought of butterflies in your stomach, your heart beating wildly and not being able to figure out how this happened.
I've never experienced that. Up until now.
Amusing isn't it? I think I already was in love. But it was hard to come to terms with it. It was hard to even accept. After all, who would love me? The mocking, sadistic bastard. The evil, vile fox.
But I'm okay Shinso. I was never one to care about what other people though about me or said behind my back. He only mattered to me. And I knew that he would never talk about someone disrespectfully no matter who the were. It wasn't in him. He was better than that. Which only made me love him more.
Because despite my mocking, my, overwhelming and sickening presence, he was never afraid of me. He knew who I was and what I am. He just never bothered to think about me any more than he had to.
And that hurt a bit, Shinso. I wanted him to think about me more than often.
But I can't complain. Just being near him is enough.
"You're looking well, Captain Hitsugaya."
Tōshirō Hitsugaya looked up from his paperwork reluctantly to stare up at the grinning man looming over his desk. It was amazing. Then mad moved like a snake. He didn't hear him come in or sense his reiatsu. "Captain Ichimaru." He nodded in acknowledgement but was mentally preparing himself for what the man before him had planned.
"Not in a talking mood I see." Gin said in a put off tone.
"I am working, which you would be wise to do in your office not lounging around in mine." Tōshirō said coldly, placing his papers down and sitting back in his chair. "Is there something I can help you with?"
Gin leered and Tōshirō decided that was the wrong thing to say. "Yes actually." Gin leaned forward so the his face was close to Tōshirō, placing his hands on either side of the desk. "I need a drinking buddy."
Tōshirō glared at Gin and turned away. He expected this. It was always fun and games with this man. "Rangiku is out running errands before her lunch break."
"Rangiku?" Gin repeated and grinned pulling back and standing at his full height. "No no. I meant you."
"Me?" Tōshirō asked, blinking. What the hell is going on? Tōshirō asked him self. Gin never looks twice at me. Why is he even talking to me now? Before Tōshirō could ask Gin, his office door was opened and Rangiku poked her head in.
"Captain, I finished the…Gin?" Rangiku said blinking as she stepped inside the room. "What are you doing here?"
It was Gin who answered first. "Looking for you." He smiled turning to her. "I need a drinking buddy."
Rangiku smiled. "No problem Gin. Drinking is my specialty after all!" She turned and exited room, talking about the best bar she knew, and walked towards the door.
Before closing, he caught Tōshirō's eye. "Another time then." And the door clicked shut.
All through the night, my thoughts were on Tōshirō, Shinso.
I really wanted to get a drink with him. But I have to remember to hide my feelings. He doesn't need me as a burden. But it was good to see him again, Shinso. It always is. I can't help it when I want to see him. It just makes me happy, even when I'm tired after my missions. The old geezer has been working me. Aizen too. I don't know how long I can evade him.
Oh well. Since when were things ever easy for me, hm?"
It's amazing how a child captured my heart, Shinso. So young yet wise. A prodigy, like me once. I think that's all Aizen see's in me. But I see life in Tōshirō. I see wonder, power, potential in Tōshirō. He protects life. Defends it, whereas I only kill and take it away.
How many people have we killed, Shinso? I've forgotten but that what Aizen wants me to do. Kill. I don't want to do that. What will Tōshirō think of me? Will it make me lesser than what I already am to him?
Do I even matter to him?
It's like I'm in a cage, reaching out towards his back. I want him to see me, hear me, and help me. Look inside me Tōshirō, that's all I ask. Love me. I need it so much.
I know I'm complaining Shinso, don't remind me. I know that I should just take the plunge.
But I fear rejection. And man graced by many years under his belt confessing his love to a child.
It's disgusting. He would see me as a pedophile rather than a captain. And I think I would die if he ever gave me a look filled with utter hate.
Funny. It's all funny. And everyone else thinks I want Rangiku since we're such good friends. I love her, but I'm not in love with her. I only want my Tōshirō. Tōshirō is the only one who can handle me. And you of course, Shinso.
I want to give him something.
So he can at least be aware of my feelings.
What, Shinso? No. I told you, I don't write anymore. That was my old life. Now I kill with the hands. What pen would want to held in such bloody fingers?
It wouldn't matter if it was anonymous?
That's a…good idea, Shinso. Thank you. You are always there for me. I'll write something for Tōshirō. Something that would make his day brighter. Put a smile on his face.
Maybe, I'll even get to see one of those smiles.
Tōshirō, turning as he swallowed his morning black tea, blinked at his lieutenant running up to him. HE stood on patio of his quarters, far from his office. He decided to have something to drink as headed out.
"I found this," Rangiku started, pulling out a envelope addressed to him. "On the floor in the mailing room when I went to deposit the sealed notices this morning."
Tōshirō nodded as he accepted it. "Thank you. I appreciate you coming all this way, Rangiku."
Said person blushed lightly and waved her hand as if dismissing the comment. "Don't worry about it. " She turned and looked over her shoulder, "I'll see you at work, Captain."
Tōshirō sat down and place his cup beside him, opening the envelope. He pulled out a blue slip of paper with white and impressive cursive writing done by hand.
I realize, now, that forming a bond is ultimately harder than breaking one.
When I realized that, I want to form a bond with you. I wanted to become friends.
But you're reading this. Is enough for now.
So thank you.
It's funny. How young you are. You hate anything childish and more so when someone treats you like one. A lot of people are scared to admit they're still children and everything to avoid it. But you have courage for admitting it and moving past it. You don't let that insignificant fact hold you down and keep you from doing what needs to be done.
And I find that extremely inspiring.
Tōshirō blinked as he finished reading the note. This person knew him and described what he felt so accurately. But who could it be? When any person gets something like this, they automatically want to know who its from.
But this letter is his. It was addressed to him. Not to Momo or his grandmother. Something for him that he could cherish. He felt himself smile at the beginning of the warm feeling inside of him.
But not at the unexpected presence in front of him.
"You should smile often, Tōshirō." Gin grinned, leaning on the patio railing, shihakushou billowing gently in the autumn breeze. "Who knew it would take a love letter to make you smile? But I must say…" He placed a hand over his mouth, but Tōshirō could still hear the dark chuckle. "Aren't you a little to short for Rangiku?"
"I wasn't aware we were on a first name basis, Captain Ichimaru," Tōshirō replied coldy. "Rangiku and I have a purely platonic relationship and you would do well to keep your comments to yourself. What I lack in size, I more then make up in power. Want a demonstration?"
Gin grinned. "I wasn't looking for a fight, Tō-- Captain Hitsugaya. It was a complement." Tōshirō frowned inside when he saw Gin's grin droop a little, if possible. "It was a compliment and I do not have a problem with your size." He turned away before Tōshirō could reply, waving back. "You were always cute to me. Goodbye, Captain Hitsugaya. I hope the rest of the day finds you well."
Tōshirō blinked, startled. Cute?