Trip wire.

T: Random attempt to get a little into Hisoka's head, thus expect angst! There's also going to be slash and a random illusion to the goings on in Kyoto. You also get the treat of random canon and a vague smerging of anime and manga Hisoka! I own nothing you see here other than the 'plot'


I am afraid.

For the first time in my 'life' I have security, shelter and a certain future.

Yet still I am afraid.

I am afraid of loosing concentration for the briefest of moments, of choosing the wrong words or the wrong action and exposing everything.

I am afraid of myself…

…of what I feel.

I love you.

I love you so very much that sometimes I think that the emotion has driven me insane.

My every moment has become filled with thoughts of you, of the memories we have built together since the darkness almost consumed you.

When I am with you those memories are bright, carefree, things that tie the threads of our lives together.

When I am alone, however…

I wonder, sometimes, if you can see it in my smile or the brief instant of hesitation that comes always before I reach for your hand or cuff you about the head.

I wonder, sometimes, if you realise how obsessed I have become with such simple actions.

If you realise that I spend my evenings analysing your every movement and word in the hopes of findings some thin sliver of encouragement.

Tsuzuki, do you look into my eyes and see the boy you call partner and name your friend?

Or do you see what I fear you seeing?

Do you see the intense yearning that has all but consumed me?

Do you see how that yearning has made me no better than that man?

Do you look at me and see his face?

Tsuzuki, I am so very afraid of how you would answer those questions, of what my life would become if you hated me.

And so I stay silent.

So I keep the truth of my heart buried deep within myself and watch my every action.

Yet still I am afraid.

For I love you so very much that, one day, I will not be able to keep my silence any longer.

One day I shall loose my concentration, will choose the wrong words or the wrong action and will expose everything.

Will expose myself for what I really am.


T: R+R??