Author Devylish
Title The Power of Chunky Monkey (1/2)
Fandom NCIS
Pair Tony and Abby, Tabby
Rating PG13 this section
Words 3297
Disclaimer All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are the property of the creators of the TV shows NCIS and Grey's Anatomy. Any original characters, settings and plots are the property of devylish. devylish is in no way associated with the TV shows NCIS or Grey's Anatomy, or the products of Ben and Jerry's and no copyright infringement is intended. This work is an amateur fan effort and no profit is being made.
AN Unbeta'd

She toed off one shoe and then the other before pulling the black blouse off over her head and letting it fall to the floor. She paused in her journey to the beer laden refrigerator to pull of her skirt.

Pulling out a Pacifico, Abby slammed the edge of the beer against the corner of her butchers block island, tilted her head back, and took a long drink. The beer felt wonderful, although, logically, she knew it wouldn't make her day any better. That being said, she was pretty positive that nothing could make her day any worse.

She'd been running late to work this morning because her alarm decided to commit suicide (okay, okay, it technically wasn't suicide if it was precipitated by her throwing it against the wall, but she had to have her delusions).

Her already late arrival was exasperated by the Hearse getting a flat on the way to work. That's right, a: pancake, Kate Moss, paper thin 'flat'. Standing on the roadside, in the rain, changing her tire at 730am convinced Abby that she should just turn the car around, drive home, call in sick, and crawl back into her bed until the day was done.

She would have given in to hooky temptation too, if it wasn't for the Gibbs bark that she received on her cell as soon as she got back into her car – sopping wet.


"Hey Gibbs, I –"

"Big evidence bag on its way in to you. Valdaramo's boys hit Senator Jeth while he was on the SS Winterbade. FBI is sending one of their analysts over to the lab to work with you on this. Watch them."

Crap! Visions of her warm bed melted before her eyes. "Will do. I'll be in the office in about 10 minutes Gibbs, and I'll start warming up the gang."

"Keep everything close to your vest on this one Abby."

"Got –," the phone line went dead as Gibbs, in customary fashion, hung up on her. "—cha."

Abby's day hadn't gotten any better as the hours rolled by. First, the FBI lab guy was, well, an asshole. He was one of those old school guys who believed that women couldn't add, couldn't analyze, couldn't do much of anything.

Abby hated having to show anyone up… but then again… she also hated being told she couldn't 'do' something; especially if the reason why she was being told she couldn't do something was simply because she had breasts.

So she'd spent the day working harder and faster, and with less cafPow! goodness than she'd ever done before. The fact that she'd found THE piece of evidence that proved the leak regarding the Senator's schedule had come from one of his bodyguards, should have made her happy. Identifying the bad guys was a good thing.

Unfortunately, by the time she found the results, she'd experienced eight hours too many of FBI Lab Analyst Geoff Derringer.

Follow that whole day up with a slow ride home on her donut sized spare tire, and Abby was one tired puppy. A tired and grumpy puppy. A combination that few people got a chance to see.

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Flipping through a pile of dvds Abby found a new favorite of hers: Made of Honor; Mmmmm, Patrick Dempsey. Cuuuuuute! She loaded the disc into the player and had just settled onto her couch when her door buzzed.

Seriously? I'm not even allowed to drink a beer and watch a movie? Abby looked up at the ceiling and shook her head in general disagreement with God/Buddha/Shiva/Allah (she hadn't made her mind up yet).

With a quiet groan, she uncurled her form from the couch and padded to the door. Glancing through the peephole, she was surprised to see Tony on the other side. Taking a quick look down at her clothes she gave a mental shrug and unbolted, unchained, and unlocked the door.

"Hey Tony. What's up?"

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Tony had had a great day. An exciting case, a few prime opportunities for picking on the probie and, he hadn't had one head smack from Gibbs this whole week. A record! The only blemish to his good day had been the fact that the teams bright light, Abby, was down. Down and out. The music in her lab had been muted, quiet and somber. Her answers had been short and clipped, and her ponytails had dripped along the side of her face, apparently, caught in the rain melee that hadn't let up in DC all day long.

Something about Abby not being happy had stuck with Tony. And after finishing up some paperwork in the office, he had taken off his tie, grabbed his jacket, and headed out of NCIS with Abby on his mind.

Off and on throughout the years, the two of them had gotten together to watch movies, get pizza… shoot the breeze. And tonight definitely seemed to be a night that Abby could benefit from a Tony chat, a calorie laden snack, and a movie or two.

Abby cheering was the reason Tony had swung by Ben and Jerry's for a few pints of ice cream, and it was why he'd stopped by Vid-Site to get a few of his favorite videos. It's was also explained why he found himself standing outside of Abby's apartment door, the aforementioned purchases in his hand.

He knocked on the door with his foot and hummed the theme song for Shaft as he waited to brighten Abby's day.

Grinning cheerfully as he heard the door locks flipping open, Tony prepared to deliver some sort of witty repartee.

"Hey Tony, What's up?"

He wasn't, however, prepared the sight of Abby when her door swung open.

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"Hey Abs I –" Tony's throat dried up as soon as he realized just how little Abby was wearing… a fitted, long sleeve t-shirt which left little to the imagination, and a tiny pair of black bikini's with the words 'Goth's Are…' scripted on the front. Uhhh…..



"You're drooling." Abby offered this bit of information with a smile. The first genuine smile she'd had all the day.

Tony snapped out of his oblivion filled stare, and offered up his patented 'guy on the prowl' smile. It wasn't a look that Abby had seen often, at least not directed in her direction, but she could definitely see why it was so effective.

"It's just a little bit of drool, and can you blame me?" Tony eyed Abby's outfit again.

"That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day."

"Had a tough one huh?"

"Tough doesn't even begin to describe the day I've had. I mean it was just one thing after – oh my God! Is that Chunky Monkey ice cream in that bag?"

"Chunky Monkey, Phish Food, and Chocolate Fudge Brownie." Tony held up the bag enticingly.

"Chunky Monkey and Phish Food??"

"And Chocolate Fudge Brownie."

Without warning Abby reached across the threshold, grabbed the front of Tony's shirt and hauled him into her apartment.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who's drooling now?!" Tony offered up the bag of ice cream with a smile as Abby closed and locked the door.

Pulling the offered bag out of his hand and heading into the kitchen, Abby sighed with happiness. "You come bearing ice cream, you're lucky I'm only drooling; I could kiss you!"

Tony was once again rendered speechless as he read the back of Abby's panties 'Damn Sexy'. Goth's Are Damn Sexy. Tony was a sudden, total believer in that sentiment.

"What do you want?" Abby called out from the kitchen.

"What do I..?" A picture of Abby NOT wearing those damn panties flipped through his mind.

"Yeah? Chunky Monkey? Chocolate Fudge Brownie?"

"Oh, right, ice cream." Get a grip DiNozzo! "I'll take Phish Food"

"Coming right up."

Dropping the videos and himself onto the couch Tony took a breath and refocused. DiNozzo, you need a girl bad… soon…! Imagining Abby undressed?! Abby was a friend. A good friend. Tony would take a bullet for her, but he'd never really been 'attracted' to her. Well, he was a man, and she was a woman, so he'd had fleeting thoughts of 'I wonder what she'd be like' or 'I wonder how many chains/handcuffs she has'. But those were normal... ish, fleeting thoughts. Chased out by raunchier thoughts of Kate, or Ziva, or Jeanne, or whoever the flavor of the day was at that time.

Yup, in his mind, he'd put Kate and Ziva in more naughty positions than he'd ever admit to.

But Abby.

Abby was always… off limits. For one, she was Gibbs' pet. And it just wouldn't be wise to mess with anything that belonged to Gibbs. Not that Tony thought Abby and Gibbs had ever 'done' anything together. He was pretty certain they had a platonic relationship. Ummm, probably.

Beyond the Gibbs Factor, there was the whole 'co-worker' thing. Tony had never crossed THE LINE with a co-worker or friend before. Probably because it was more than a line and more like a canyon sized chasm. It was a chasm with a great big neon #12 sign pointing to it that said 'friends don't fuck.'

Tony smiled to himself, friends don't let their friends drink and drive… and friends don't let their friends fuck them. Both pretty solid rules to live by.

And last but not least in the list of reasons Tony never really thought about jumping Abby's bones was the 'Welcome to the Darkside' reason. Abby was a Goth. A sweet Goth, but a Goth none-the-less. She believed coffins were fun. And black was a happy color. At times, she was just plain, old, scary. No, Abby was nothing Tony had ever thought he would be interested in.

He watched as she exited the kitchen with ice cream, napkins, spoons, and a bowl of popcorn in hand. Of course, lines, rules, limits, and reasons had never seen Abby in her underwear.

"Not that I'm not always happy to see you, but to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"It looked like you were having a pretty bad day today, I just thought I'd come be a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to shout in, or something." Well that sounds a lot gayer out loud than it did in my head.

Abby handed Tony his pint as she settled onto the couch next to him, her legs curled under her. "Really? That's it? I mean, there's no, 'Abby can you run a test for me this weekend, or teach me sign language so I can hit on this deaf woman I met' ulterior motive?"

Tony's ears reddened, "I only asked you to check that DNA for me that one time."

"Yes, and fortunately for us all, you weren't that baby's father." Abby was smiling again, softening the content of her words.

"Hey! I'd make a damn good father!"

"Yes, you would. You'd be fun. And such a softy."

"Well, I don't know that I'd be a softy." He cleared his throat as she stretched her legs out, resting her heels on the coffee table.

"You would be." Abby asserted and scooped out a heaping teaspoon of ice cream. "mmmmm! Yeah, I really do love you Tony. Anyone who brings me banana, walnuts, and chocolate ice cream gets a whole crapload of Abby love."

"It's that easy to get Abby loving?"

She looked up, spoon half way to her mouth. "Wouldn't you like to know…."

Something in the back of his head said yes, but Tony pushed the thought away. "So, ahem, I brought some movies with me, but it looks like you were already doing movie night."

"I was, but I just started, actually just running through the previews still."

"And the movie of choice tonight?" Tony sat forward and stripped his suit jacket off.

"Made of Honor."

Tony paused, "you've got to be kidding me."

"No. Why?" Abby pressed the play button and squiggled lower on the sofa.

"That's a chick flick."

"And surprise, surprise Tony, I'm a chick."

"You really expect me to watch a movie with McDreamy in it?"

"Tony! You know who McDreamy is?! Do you watch Grey's Anatomy!!??"

His ears went red again. "I may have flipped past the show once or twice."

"And seen McDreamy!" Abby was grinning at Tony, an eyebrow raised and her eyes sparkling. "Have you seen McSteamy, meoooow, or McMajor?"

Tony feigned stupidity. "I don't know what you're talking about. I have um," he cracked his neck nervously, "seen the McWomen on that show, they're all kind of hot."

"Unh huhhh." Abby kept smiling, but turned her back against the couch, "We are so watching this movie. And you are soooo going to like it." She turned the volume up on the tv, then dropped the remote, and reached up to turn off the lamp. "That, or people in the office are going to find out that McTony likes McGrey's."

Shit. "Yes ma'am."

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Twenty minutes into the movie and Tony was done with his grousing. His shoes were off, his feet were on Abby's coffee table, and he was getting sucked into the movie. He was so focused on the movie that he nearly jumped out of his skin when Abby placed her hand on his thigh.

She was leaning forward and using him for balance as she reached behind her to pull an afghan off of the back of the couch. Successfully squirreling her body into an impossible shape to get to the afghan AND remain on the sofa, Abby straightened up and wiggled around a few times – still using Tony's leg as a balance beam.

After almost a full straight minute of arranging, and rearranging her figure on the sofa, Abby finally stopped squirming and rested with her body pressed against Tony's side and her legs stretched out along the length of the couch. She fidgeted with the afghan until Tony dropped his arm across her shoulder and stilled her hands.

"Having problems?"

"Uhm, no. Sorry. The ice cream made me cold."

That chill couldn't have anything to do with the unclothed, shapely, long legs could it? "No problem."Tony tucked Abby closer and tried to refocus into the movie.

An hour and a half later, Abby stretched happily; her now warm frame pressed against Tony's. Looking up and to the right she speared him with a look. "So?"


"What did you think?"

"It wasn't bad."

Abby elbowed him.

"Ow! All right, all right! It was good. It was very good."

"Aren't they a cute couple?"

"Well she was hot."

"Tony, you think anyone with breasts is hot."

"Some are hotter than others."

"The same thing holds true about men. And McDreamy is of the hotter variety. "

"If you say so."

Abby schooched lower, cocking her knees into teepees, and placing her head on Tony's lap so that she could look at him without straining her neck. "I do say so, and I know of what I speak. While you may consider yourself to be a gigolo, 'I' am the queen of playas. I KNOW men."

"Not to bring up any negative memories Abs, but: Michael - stalker."

"Low blow, Tony! That wasn't my fault."

Tony paused, "No it wasn't." He tapped Abby's nose with his finger and then crooked his finger under her chin. "You're human flypaper Abs. We guys are just drawn to you… irresistibly. Unfortunately, not all of the flies that are attracted to you are your normal average houseflies. Some guys are mosquitoes, and others are moths."

Abby found herself unable to breathe correctly. And it had everything to do with Tony's index finger. How the hell can an index finger cause me to not breathe? Unless, it's being jammed down my throat, or maybe if it were being combined with a thumb to pinch my nose closed. Which it's not. Of course, if he had his finger in my mouth I could bite it if it was obstructing my breathing, or better yet, I could suck on it. Not that that would stop his finger from being in my mouth, necessarily, but, hmmm, Tony has always had nice hands. He holds a gun well. I bet he'd hold a woman's –

"Abs! Yo, Abby!" Tony's hand was at Abby's waist and he was shaking her lightly, trying to bring her out of the Abbyland she'd apparently faded into. "Where'd you go? One minute I'm making a great fly analogy, and the next, I'm talking to myself… lights out, no Abby aqui."

"Sorry, I was distracted by your finger."

"Distracted by my –"

"How many women have you slept with?"

He lost a little more of the precarious grip that he had on the reality that was him and Abby. "Uhh, huh?"

"How many women have you slept with?"

"Abby, is that, um…," appropriate? Relavant? An offer? "Why?"

"Just wondering –" which one of us could teach the other the most tricks in the bedroom… and Abby Sciuto! What in Hades are you thinking!? She shot straight up, angling off of Tony's lap and to the far end of the couch in three seconds flat. "Uh, never mind. Forget I asked. I sometimes say things I don't mean to say. Or really want to say. Or maybe I want to say them, but really, I shouldn't, because I've found that what I think and what I say, really should be two totally different things. Although, I do wish more people did say what they thought. Kind of. Unless they're hate mongers. Hate mongers equal bleech. So, yeah... um, wanna watch another movie? I have McSteamy in X-Men-The Last Stand. We could make it a Grey's Anatomy night."

Tony's mind was spinning from trying to follow the Abby-speak and after a few seconds, he just gave up. "Sounds like a plan… I mean, the X-Men movie sounds like a plan. Not the Grey's Anatomy night." He cleared his throat and then found all of his vital functions stopping as Abby removed the afghan from her form and clambered off of the sofa. Her movements around the couch had disheveled her clothing; lifting the thermal t-shirt from her hips up to her ribcage. The skin from mid rib, to bikini-clad hip was bared on one side of her long frame… the side that was facing him. He could see creamy pale skin and the edges of her back tattoo peering at him and he found himself wondering if it would be possible to read the edges of that tattoo with his fingers; if the pattern would feel like Braille -- raised ever so slightly against her naked flesh.


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Just think about the movie Abby. X-Men. She tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the DVD player to spit out her McDreamy flick so that she could slip McSteamy in. Slipping McSteamy in. Mmmm. Or, McTony, yeah, he'd do in a pinch. Or even not in a pinch. And… WAIT! Abby stop it! Crap. Crap. Crap! Maybe a high testosterone flick with beautiful men isn't a good idea. No. It's definitely, definitely NOT a good idea. Maybe I can switch to -- did Tony just 'groan'?

"Are you alright back there?" She turned, a smile plastered on her face and as she pivoted slightly to catch sight of him, she thought she saw his eyes leap from her waist to the TV, but it happened so quickly that she wasn't positive that she saw what she thought she saw.

"Uh, yeah," Tony crossed his legs self-consciously. "Leg cramp."

Abby turned back to the player and pressed play; a genuine smile lit her face. Leg cramp my ass! Tony DiNozzo was checking me out!