Scrumdidileeumptious

Chapter 1

Angst-B-Gone

Winter break of freshmen year sucked eggs. Voldemort's eggs. That's extra suckish. My parents were hit and killed by a drunk driver on their way back from a Christmas party. I spent New Year's Eve at a graveyard.

Naruto, my best friend at the time, came with me. He kept an arm wrapped around my shoulders the entire time. He hugged me close while I cried. I considered him a great friend at that time. But friendship can be fragile and worthless. Sorry about that, it sounded so angsty. Hurry up past this first part, reader.

Freezing tears burned my eyes for most of that vacation. Wheee! That was a NEW level of angst! Success. Don't worry, that was just a joke. Everyone's sad when their parents die randomly I just like to make it sound SUPER dramatic.

Okay, angst-tastic section over. Let's get on with this story: The guys.

This all began my freshmen year of high school. All I knew about 'Akatsuki' at the time was that they were a group of outrageously dangerous (not to mention sexy) juniors. They held so much influence that the seniors said nothing to them.

I, personally, thought they were the hottest things I'd seen since I'd lit my popcorn (and microwave) on fire. No one seemed to agree with me… Something about 'convicted criminals' and 'killers' to which I respond with 'yeah, lady killers, have you seen them?!' but I digress.

Normally, I kept that reaction a secret because if my parents found out about my taste in men… I would be shipped to 'The School for Wayward Girls'. It was after New Year's, when school started again, that I realized that was no longer a possibility.

The first day back, during lunch, a series of events would launch and ensue a future I had never even begun to think of as a possibility. Not that I was disappointed with the outcome.

First Day Back at School

Emotionally lost and alone, I tried my very best to ignore absolutely everything to do with my parents' passing when I returned to boarding school. However, since some people were trying to be considerate, I was constantly reminded of everything I was trying to forget. If there were any students in my school that I wanted to destroy right now, it was Rock Lee, a sophomore in my school who proclaimed his love for me on a daily basis.

"Sakura, my love, I heard." He said as solemnly as possible when you were a boy with as much zeal as him.

"Look, Lee, leave her alone already, okay?" Naruto had been my shield from the mourners all day but he was already getting tired from the difficulty of the job and it was only third period.

I, myself, was ready to bludgeon the next person I saw with eyes of fake pity. Naruto, knowing this, was redirecting people and advising them to steer clear. Lee, however, was not getting the picture. Nice kid, but socially stunted in the worst way.

While Naruto was desperately trying to discourage the 'Green Beast of the School's Soccer Team' I spotted Ino and her cronies making a Bee-line for me with Tupperware meals in tow. One of the worst situations I could imagine.

I FUCKING SMELL THEIR PITY!

BASTARDS! My Inner Self screeched. Everything I always suppressed, she shouted out - luckily, she shouted it in my mind where only me and my inner demons could hear.

Most of the day went the same.

I went to class and the teachers taught nothing to the students except how to make pathetic attempts at convincing someone you pity them and their situation. I was so sick of it. Even Naruto was getting on my nerves.

I couldn't take it anymore and by fifth period I was ditching with no intention of returning to class or going to lunch. Wandering the halls I considered my options. Rooms were occupied and who ditches in the bathroom anymore? The roof it was!

My winter break reform had done a number on my prior good-girl personality. The poorly locked door that stood in my way fell with dignity. And my newfound sarcasm.

"What the fuck was that shit?" I heard someone on a different part of the roof yell.

Then I heard some footsteps lazily coming over.

I stepped out of the now busted door frame.

"Well hello, sexy." The same voice said again only huskier. He was one of the famous juniors. Hidan of the Akatsuki. Most memorable trait, he curses. He slicked back his already slicked back silver hair and approached me with the heir of a predator, approaching its victim.

Even though he was pretty scary right now he was made even more intimidating because he was hot! Every member of Akatsuki was. No one but me seemed to think so though. Most people were too fucking terrified to notice they were goddamn drop dead gorgeous. Plus, back then, I was still nervous around guys. I know, I'm weak.

"Hi," I said, pleased that it sounded more confident than I felt. Despite my inner terror it seemed like I looked pretty normal. I wasn't huddled in a corner or anything at least. This is a step in the right direction.

Stop cowering and pounce!

Uh, no.

Inner Sakura moped and I pushed that mental disease away.

"Hey, aren't you a sophomore?" A boy popped around the corner whom was easily recognizable, Tobi, the cutest member, donning his eye-patch.

"Freshman, actually." I corrected trying to avoid his very Naruto-like eager gaze. I tucked some of my hair behind my ear as a distraction.

"Ah, freshmeat." This was a rough and deep, rumbling voice and Kisame appeared in my field of vision. Besides the voice you notice a couple of things when you first meet Kisame. Mostly, he's blue. And tall. Yep, that's about all you can really take in at first glance, because he is really blue and really tall.

I also felt like I was going to pass out, surrounded by hot guys, not to mention the two hottest hadn't even arrived yet. All the blood was rushing to my face and I hoped I may be able to suppress it with sheer will power.

And as if I had willed it, there they were. Itachi, tall dark and mysterious, and Deidara, blonde and undeniably gorgeous in every way. Either of them could easily take the modeling industry by storm.

On a whole, the guys of Akatsuki were just...

in one word?

Scrumdidileeumptious.

I averted my gaze from racking viciously over they're god given features to my sneakers and started to hum.

"Eh? What's wrong?" Kisame asked with a hint of concern and started towards me.

My humming tune changed to Blue (Da Ba Dee) immediately and without my consent. They all heard it and in a second Tobi and Deidara were laughing, Kisame looked both pissed and amused, Itachi was smirking, and Hidan was smiling with the same predatory 'I'm undressing you with my eyes' look.

I didn't mind, I needed some positive attention in my day. Plus, it was the first time a guy ever looked at me like that.

It was kind of surreal after that, the conversation just flowed and twenty minutes later I was sharing in Itachi's lunch while Hidan glared discreetly.

Eventually, the end of lunch bell interrupted the meeting, all the guys stood up.

We said a quick goodbye and Tobi gave me a goodbye glomp and all of a sudden I was alone on the roof thinking of how that that was the best lunch of my life. Itachi had good food taste.

-xoxo-

The moment they walked through the empty door frame and back into the school building it was like the magic was lifted and I was back to the same depressed, borderline emo chick of thirty minutes ago. It was only a bit upsetting, so I tried to refocus on what had just transpired. The men I had just met whom I had secretly been interested in all year.

Tobi was by far the most approachable of the group. He was childlike in his sweetness and behavior. He immediately endeared himself to everybody. How'd the Akatsuki get just a negative reputation with a goofball like that in their midst? I was aware that he and Itachi were only distant relatives despite sharing the same surname, but looks definitely ran deep in that family, because, despite his childlike innocence, he was still quite handsome. Although, it did come off as more cute, due to facial expressions.

Next on the approachable scale was definitely Kisame. More mature in looks and stature (like, he's seriously unbelievably tall), he had a great, if not raunchy, sense of humor and seemed to be very open to meeting new people. And with Kisame came Itachi. It was well known that they were close, if not unlikely, friends. Itachi was quiet and reserved almost always but it seemed like he might just have a personality you only get to see when you get to know him. Itachi's best feature was his intelligence though. Sex God levels of hot, or no, he constantly scored at the pinnacle of perfection in school.

Then there was Hidan, who broke the approachable spectrum into tiny pieces with a "fuck it" type of attitude. And boy did he have attitude. Rude, loud, vulgar... gorgeous, cool, confident.

I wouldn't mind being thrown around the bedroom by a man like him.

Oh my God, Inner! I can't believe you just said that! Shut up!

What? I like the bad boy thing...

In my minds eye, I was doing a face palm. Sometimes I did not know where my inner self's personality came from... but then I realized she must absolutely be the side effects of a budding mental disorder or a brain tumor and either way her personality is definitely an off-shoot of mine... Whatever, I'd rather pretend I have nothing to do with her.

Hey! Fuck you!

Lastly, there was Deidara. He had not said much at lunch today, but I had caught glimpses of him speaking animatedly before. Where was he keeping that personality? I wanted to see...

Ah, he was so good looking. They were all so hot. I couldn't get them out of my mind... but I needed to go to my next class, I supposed: Swimming.

I chose not to participate and told the teacher I was feeling light-headed which was only half a lie since lunch and hot-guy reflection had left me a bit breathless. I dipped my feet in and watched the others do their laps. After that they had free swim and Naruto came over to my edge to talk.

"Hey, where'd you go?" He asked.

"To the roof," I said, evasively.

He accepted that, no questions asked and we began to talk about normal things like our suspicion that Ino was pregnant and what not.

My thirty minutes of wonderful bliss were over and it seemed life would return to normal. Besides, the juniors were in a different wing of the school than the freshmen, so I would probably not see them again for a while. It wasn't like I was someone they'd come looking for.

It was easy to convince myself of this, I'd never been popular with the guys I actually liked before so it was just normal to dismiss the whole situation as a fluke in fate that would never come again.

If only, if only, the freshmen girl cried, the sexy men would just fall from the sky…

Oh, shut up.

I'm blue, da ba dee da ba daa…

Ahaha!

I spent the rest of the day reminiscing and fell asleep hoping I'd dream of them. If I did, I did not remember.

-xoxo-

The next day began as no more than I could expect. Fewer people stared, the teachers taught again, and life virtually returned to normal. No sexy delinquents to sweep me off my feet. At least, that's what I had assumed.

So wrong I was.

See, it all began in third period. English class! Kakashi was my teacher and five minutes into the class there was a knock on the door. Kakashi had Sasuke open it. Sasuke, a former crush of mine got up grudgingly, flung the door open then fell backwards in shock. There, in the doorway, stood his older, and much sexier brother, Itachi, whom glared down at Sasuke, as if disgusted. He was flanked by the rest of Akatsuki.

I find that sexy in my men.

"What is it, Itachi?" Kakashi asked after an annoyed sigh.

"We're taking Sakura." Kisame stated simply. Now the entire class was staring between me and them.

Is this really happening? Pinch me if I'm dreaming.

If it's really happening, let it happen. If it's a dream, don't you dare fucking wake up.

"No." Kakashi answered immediately.

"Then we're kidnapping her." Itachi stated.

"Carry on." Kakashi answered immediately. All nonchalant like that. Like this happened all the damn time.

Hidan and Kisame charged into the room immediately, Hidan picked me up, Kisame grabbed my stuff and we fled. Kids stood up and watched us leave down the hall but they we're no longer staring at me and the guys, they were staring at us. I was in.

-fin... for now-

Thanks for reading!