This man was of the most impossible nature.
This man, with his flamboyant purple suit and orange glasses, walking cane in hand, ready to spout colorful, mad, genius ideas at random. Waiting to pop out of a rainbow and scare me half to death. I chuckled inwardly, only to have it die in the blood my new shoe inadvertently stepped in.
'Wonderful! A great way to start the day!' I thought, wiping sweat from my forehead. But I realized I had said it out loud, as some of the inmates were staring at me a little funny. God, please... make today... uh, somewhat bearable. I wheezed in some air, exhaling nervous, bubbly titters.
This man, long and lithe in his frame, a gaping hole in between his two front teeth, had it in for what was most assuredly my last ounce of sanity.
It seemed it was going to be an even longer day ... than yesterday!
Once I finally reached my office, the new day's activities and responsibilities plagued my mind. I don't know why I have kept this job for so long.
This man is...
Will be the death of me.
I went to my desk, reading the note I placed on it the night before.
FYI- Talk to The Warden about budget change. Important!
I remember why I left it for today, I was too tired to hear his reply of something like, "But Jarrrred, if we don't get the golden bunny shrines (with the laser/mind control ruby eyes), how else will I be rabbit overlord of all my tiny little bunny minions?" His hands gestating wildly, his eyes all shimmery and blah!
This man ...has... such strange ideas.
I started putting together all of the documents and scattered papers to go over with the Warden; trying to organize them as quickly as possible, heaving a anxious little sigh. I just know he has something cooked up for today! To face the music with most bosses is no joy ride, no picnic in central park. But with the Warden, it's always a game; a little less ominous and a lot more child-like. It always starts with an odd, off place note, with several loopy, colorful notes to follow, a few bangs and clicks and ticks like kids banging on pots and pans in the kitchen, then a uncontrollable stream of LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU or YOUR LOGIC LALALA!
I reached his door as the finale hit me hard. 'I know you can't hear me.' I thought with an strange sadness.
I knocked. And knocked and knocked... and well. Knocked.
Despite what his ravings on would be, and despite what he might have yelled, or might have said if I came in unannounced, I let myself in.
My breath caught in my throat and I began to sweat (even more). There... this man was... sitting in his desk, a contented, relaxed expression on his face, almost thoughtful. He was listening to something with his headphones.
I wanted to go up to him right away and discuss the matter, but he... he looked so.... so.....
Oh god save me for saying this!
God, god, god oh goooooooooooooooood.
I watched him for a few more moments until I lost control and my eyes started glossing over all the paperwork and words and letters started mashing and swirling and ...! I found myself blurring away his features as I started wheezing and breathing erratically, ranting things I never knew would ever come from my mouth.
Something like.... 'You egotistical bastard, yo-you frilly, aging child! Alice isn't a woman, you know that, RIGHT? OH, GOD! So, so much to do!' I wheezed and coughed, pointing at him, papers flying all over the floor. 'You did this to me! You, you, YOU! You're just a crazy, se---lunatic is what you are! ARGH! You're just ridiculous!' God, did I almost say.... sexy? I'm really bad at insulting people.
'And stop listening to that thing, cause we have so, so, so MUCH TO DO!'
The Warden suddenly opened his eyes and I near about fainted.
"Jared, what's with the hissy fit? You really need to learn to relax!" He stressed the last word, probably noticing how bad I was wheezing. He took off his headphones and eyed me carefully.
I scrambled to find an excuse. "I.. uh, but I was relaxing sir!" I coughed again. Smooth.
The Warden merely smiled, leaning over the desk. "Believe it or not, I wasn't always the calm, collected charmster you see in front of you..."
He was so smooth... I hate him.
He went on a little spiel about some 'DL Diamond' his eyes all twinkly and glowing, his body twirling and everything. Oh, jeez, here we go.
Before I realized I 'forgot' to talk to him about the budget, it was obvious money was no object tonight, and my plan would have to be revised anyway. I sighed as he disappeared into some kind of chute like slide thing.
"See you at the shooow!"