Disclaimer: Not mine.


AN: Legend: /thinking/




The Signs and Symptoms of Delusional People

Setting: Restaurant, exclusively rented (at gunpoint by Reborn) for the night of Tsunayoshi's eighteenth birthday

After a few drinks…

Mukuro: "Noo~o, Vongola! How could you? Why didn't you tell me you became legal today? Now we can't do an illegal Lolita schoolgirl fantasy on the train anymore—"

Tsuna: (Looks ill) /This is why I didn't even want to tell you when and where my birthday was taking place. Anyway, there's something about this conversation that's giving me a bad feeling…/

Gokudera: "What the hell! You disgusting pervert, how dare you talk about the Tenth with such vulgar words!"

Yamamoto: "Hah? What's a Lolita schoolgirl fantasy have to do with trains?"

Tsuna: (Looks even more ill.) "I don't think I want to know—" /There is. There is something very wrong with this conversation. This ominous feeling…/

Gokudera: "Don't worry Tenth! There's no such thing as a Lolita fantasy on a train."

Mukuro: "Fufu, you naïve little teenagers, let me demonstrate~"

Tsuna: /What are you talking about? You're a teenager like us./


It was always crowded whenever Tsunayoshi took the train after school.

He always found himself squished against the sliding doors in the after-school/work rush.

Around this time of the after-school/work rush, hordes of students and businessmen and sundry were often jam-packed in the trains like sardines. It wasn't unusual for a commuter to accidentally touch another in socially unacceptable places. More or less, these kinds of things were ignored and forgiven and forgotten. Sometimes though, this happened: a pervert was sliding his palm against Tsuna's inner thigh.

When encountering a pervert on crowded trains, there was always the initial phase of confusion for the victim. He/she was unsure whether the grope was actually intentional or merely accidental. After a few seconds with the pervert still insisting his invasion of the victim's space, by then, the victim would be too embarrassed to say anything as it has already been too long for her/him to cry wolf. There was always the underlying worry that the victim might not be believed or that the victim should have cried wolf sooner and merely had enjoyed the unwanted caress.

Tsuna found the pervert's fingers now creeping under his plaid skirt—


Tsuna: "Wait. Why am I wearing a schoolgirl skirt?"

Yamamoto: "Shh, Tsuna! We were just getting to the good part."

Gokudera: (Holding a handkerchief to his bleeding nose.) "…"

Mukuro: "Oh, yeah. You're right. I didn't think about that part since I got distracted by your legs. Now, stop interrupting and listen to my cozy bedtime story~"


Tsuna found the pervert's fingers now creeping under his plaid skirt. Then they slid aside white panties and circled the pucker of the hole there. Tsuna gasped and tried to hide his flushed face against the glass window of the sliding doors. The press of the crowd hid what the pervert was doing to him but also left Tsuna unable to shout for help. It was too embarrassing!

Then the pervert got bold and pressed his body against Tsuna's, effectively caging the young teenager. He licked Tsuna's ear and whispered lewdly, "I bet I can make you orgasm on my fingers alone~"

So saying, the pervert, also known far and wide as the most handsome devil Mukuro, plunged the dry finger in.


Tsuna: "Aaah, it hurts, it hurts!" (Clutching his hair in imaginary x-rated pain.)

Mukuro: "And that was my Lolita schoolgirl-meets-pervert-on-the-train fantasy."

Gokudera: "You just called yourself pervert, you fucking idiot." (Very red in the face with two wads of tissue stuck up both nostrils.)

Yamamoto: (Laughs.) "I have a fantasy like that too."

Tsuna&Gokudera: (They whip their heads towards the baseball nut and gape.) /What? You too?/

Mukuro: "Oya? What's it called, then?"

Yamamoto: "It's the confession-in-a-classroom fantasy."


Tsuna's eyes are downcast and his hands are fidgeting, holding a letter.

A love letter, he wrote last night in desperation.



Tsuna: (Deadpan.) "We're the same age."

Mukuro: "That's why it's called a fantasy, Tsu-chan."

Tsuna: (Feels goosebumps for being called such a girly name.)

Gokudera: (Attempting to strangle Yamamoto for having fantasies about the precious Tenth).

Yamamoto: (Avoiding Gokudera and laughing.)


"Yamamoto-senpai…I…ever since I saw your majestic form during that baseball game…I-I—"

The taller student, Yamamoto, blushed too and scratched his neck. They were both alone in the classroom. Yamamoto had just finished his baseball practice when one of his cute kohai had asked to meet him here.

Finally, as if bursting, Tsuna finished, "—I've always admired you and liked you! A-and that's all…You don't have to do anything since I…I just wanted to let you know." With that, Tsuna wiped at his teary eyes and turned around to walk away.

Yamamoto caught the brunette's elbow. He smiled kindly towards his kohai. "Won't you even wait to listen to my answer?"

Tsuna blushed, "A-ah, yes."

The baseball player blushed to his ears and combed a hand through his black hair. "You…really should have more self-confidence." He wrapped a large hand around Tsuna's neck and propelled the younger boy forward. He dipped down and gave Tsuna a chaste kiss.

Tsuna clasped Yamamoto's shoulders as his knees weakened. "Aa—"

That sound, that mewl sent a frission of electricity through Yamamoto. He sharpened his gaze on the boy before him and slowly led Tsuna towards the teacher's desk, distracting his kohai with dizzying kisses that seemed to last forever.

He lifted Tsuna's smaller form to sit on the desk and pushed his kohai's legs apart with a persistent knee. Then Yamamoto wrapped Tsuna's legs around him. Tsuna squeaked to find his senpai's erection rubbing against his intimately, even through cloth.


Tsuna: (Hugging his body fearfully.) /Yamamoto…I always knew you were kind of dangerous even under that smiling face…/

Mukuro: "Wah, that was pretty good. You even got me a little hot and bothered."

Yamamoto: "Ahaha, thanks. Don't worry so much, Tsuna. We wouldn't really do any of that stuff to you…"

Tsuna: (Staring very hard at Yamamoto.) /Then why are we talking about this with such serious expressions…/

Yamamoto: "…unless you wanted us to."

Tsuna: "…" /I'm sure this is all a very bad dream…bad dream…/

Gokudera: (Changing the wads of tissue paper in his nose.) "You fuckers…Thinking of the Tenth like that…Don't you get it? That's not allowed, definitely NOT allowed. The Tenth is a pure-hearted person and deserves better!"

Mukuro: "Oya? Then why are you blushing and nose-bleeding like a hentai even when you spout off such nonsense?"

Gokudera: "I-I...!"

Yamamoto: "Caught red-handed, eh, Gokudera? Why don't you just be honest and tell us your fantasy too?" (Smiles like the Chesire Cat.)

Gokudera: (Blushing to the roots of his hair.) "W-well…"

Tsuna: (Giving dark look to the stammering Storm Guardian.) /Gokudera—you TRAITOR!/


When Gokudera had been in first grade, he'd gotten into a lot of fights with the older students. They often called him a smart-mouthed little brat and other such names. Tch. Bastards. They were clearly jealous of Gokudera's high IQ.

But because of this, Gokudera often went home with bruises and black eyes.

One day, when he'd been cornered by three ugly fourth graders for his lunch money, a small first-grader named Tsuna found them and immediately started wailing for his teacher for help. The fourth-grade students ran off when they saw a teacher coming. And then Tsuna had smiled reassuringly at Gokudera and asked, "A-are you okay? Don't worry. You should call for help whenever they bother you." He held out a hand for the bruised Gokudera to help him stand up.

Gokudera excitedly clamped both of his hands onto Tsuna's left hand and said, "Will you honor me by becoming my wife!"

Tsuna nodded, a bit frightened at this strange reaction to him saving the other first-grader.

Through the years they grew up, Gokudera followed after Tsuna's side faithfully like a good spouse. He made sure to chase off all the bullies and assassins and annoying baseball nuts that came after his Tsuna. After college, Gokudera proposed with his mother's heirloom wedding ring and Tsuna accepted, flushed—


Mukuro: "And then on their wedding night, Gokudera did xxx and xxx and more xxx to Tsuna, blah blah blah. We get it, we get it. What a pure-hearted story. How boring."

Gokudera: "You bastard! What the fuck, interrupting my fantasy—"

Yamamoto: "Aw, don't worry about it Gokudera. I thought it was kinda sweet."

Gokudera: "Heh, that's because the Tenth should be married first before he is allowed to do H-stuff. That way, the Tenth's reputation won't be ruined."

Tsuna: "…What are you talking about, Gokudera? I'm not an innocent girl with a reputation to uphold…" /And anyway, isn't chasing off the people around me more like bullying and enforced alienation? That's not even taking into account that in your story, you were stalking me the whole time…since I was seven…/

Reborn: (Pops up from behind Tsuna's back, holding a margarita and looking annoyed.) "Tch. How inconsiderate of you teenagers. Talking about fornicating Tsuna here and there without any actual experience under your belts…Real life is usually not so easy."

Tsuna: "Reborn, thank god you're here—"

Reborn: "For one thing, holes don't get as easily stretched as those porn videos make them out to be, whether it is the top one or the bottom one or the female one."

Tsuna: "…Why is it that you just tacked on the last part about females as if it was a given that we would be doing it with a guy—Wait a minute. What's even weirder is that everyone is listening so intently—"

Reborn: "Shut up, useless-Tsuna. I'm not talking to you. It's not useful for you to listen to my lecture about lubrication as your partner will be doing it for you." (Goes off talking about brands and types of lubrication, whether to use water-based compared to oil-based.)

Tsuna: /Dear mother and father…everyday I'm forced to endure hardships that are abnormal for someone my age. For example—/ "…There is something weird touching me down there…"

Hibird: "Cheep, cheep, cheep." (Emerges from under the table…)

Tsuna: "Get off, get off, Hibird!"

(A hand snatches the fluttering bird about Tsuna's head.)

Hibari: "So, the baby is quite knowledgeable." (He looks at Reborn gesturing animatedly with diagrams and Gokudera taking frantic notes. For some unfathomable reason, even Yamamoto was listening intently and nodding.)

Mukuro: "Well, well, the anti-social ugly duck as finally decided to grace his presence on us."

Tsuna: /Eeee, somebody save me from these two…/

Hibari: "Shut up, you stupid plant. Talking about forcing your disgusting self on a Namimori student is not allowed. Especially when they are wearing Namimori colors. Unforgiveable."

Mukuro: "Hah. It's normal for a virile high-school male like me to fantasize about Tsuna like that—"

Tsuna: "—Which part of that sentence is normal?—"

Mukuro: "—Unlike you, since your balls probably have dropped off at birth."

Hibari: "BITE TO DEATH." (Smashes tonfa against Mukuro's trident.)

Tsuna: (Frantic to stop impeding fight.) "I-I'm sure Hibari-san has normal fantasies…too!" /Tsuna, idiot, stop digging your own grave…/

Hibari&Mukuro: (Stops and looks towards the blushing Tsuna.)

Hibari: (Smirks.) "Of course. It is…healthy to fantasize."

Mukuro: "So? What is it then, this healthy fantasy of yours?"

Hibari: "…"


Tsuna carried the tray of tea and teacups precariously, trying to open the door to the Disciplinary Committee room. He gave up, then used his left hip to push the door open. He set the tray on the desk full of papers and was about to leave when behind him, Hibari slammed two hands on the desk, around Tsuna's slim hips. He XXXXX and then XXXXX and used the tonfa to XXXXX Tsuna cried out but XXXXX and some more XXXXX but Tsuna struggled still but XXXXX and Hibari slipped XXXXX in there all slippery and wet XXXXX vibrating cellphone in XXXXX and Tsuna covered his face in shame but Hibari XXXXX spanked Tsuna's plump cheeks with a XXXXX and XXXXX.

[Attention: Due to the illegally explicit contents of Hibari's not-at-all-healthy fantasy, we were forced to censor and censor such and such scenes and Hibari was not allowed to elaborate further. Thank you for your cooperation.]


Hibari: "…Have Tsuna become secretary to the Disciplinary Committee. Then will rape him in the third classroom on the sixth floor after class. Though, there would be a lot of blood." (Annoyed.)

Tsuna: (Very pale.) /Why are you so specific, Hibari-san? And talking as if all of this was on your to-do list…/

Mukuro: "Oh, ho ho ho. The secretary fantasy, eh? Ah, but what a selfish guy. Raping Tsuna? I bet you would care only about your pleasure and not even consider Tsuna's. Don't worry, Tsuna-chan! My technique is much better than his, I can assure you. He would probably only do it in and out, in and out like some broken record. But me, I can promise you I can do this—" (Does some circular hip motion, grinding air.)

Hibari: (Looks disgusted.)

Tsuna: (Looks ready to vomit.) /I keep forgetting…this guy is deranged. Must steer clear…Must not make eye contact…/

Mukuro: "—And I would even do it in different positions for variety. With my technique, I'll be sure to get you pregnant."

Tsuna: (Smiling a grimace.) "We can't have a child because I don't have a uterus."

(Dino passes by and overhears and stops.)

Dino: "What, Tsuna? Of course, you can't get pregnant. You're a boy. Don't tell me Reborn hasn't given you the bees and birds lecture yet…" (Looks concerned.)

Tsuna: (Aghast.) "What? NO! Dino-niisan, of course, I know I'm a boy. No, I no—I don't want Reborn giving me that lecture, since I already know that stuff from school."

Mukuro: (Slings an arm around Dino.) "Well, hello brother-in-law! Please be assured that I will take good care of Tsuna here."

Dino: "What? Aren't you that criminal—?"

Hibari: "It's that annoying blond again."

(After a few minutes of Mukuro and Tsuna explaining what they were talking about…)

Dino: "Oh, fantasy? That sounds fun. You young people nowadays, so precocious…Well, I'll join too! Here's mine:

Mukuro: "What? Aren't you Tsuna's big brother…?"


Dino held Tsuna's jaw, forcing him to keep his mouth open while Dino licked the insides of Tsuna's mouth. Finally, Tsuna could take no more and pushed Dino's naked chest away from him, gasping. "Uuh, Dino-niisan…I couldn't breathe anymore…"

The blond chuckled and continued, "When we kiss like that, Tsuna, you're supposed to breathe through your nose."

Tsuna averted his eyes from Dino's panting form. "B-but…aren't we…siblings now? I mean, your mom married my dad, so…we shouldn't be doing things like this, right?"

Dino laughed again and stretched, emphasizing the yakuza tattoos on him. Tsuna watched with wide eyes. Dino patted Tsuna and said, "Don't worry, Tsuna-chan. Your big brother Dino will take responsibility for what happens today, okay? I am a very responsible young man. So you should listen to your big brother and do what he asks you to do because I'm going to feed you something very delicious to drink…but only ever do this with me of course." So saying, Dino took Tsuna's head and said, "Open your mouth wide, Tsu-chan~" and lowered it to his erect co—


Hibari: (Looks sickly green.) "Ugh. Wao. Wao. I feel…sick. I need to go out…and get a bit of fresh air…" (Leaves, holding his stomach in what could also be described as the diarrhea pose.)

Tsuna: /Dangerous! My big brother is clearly dangerous. Must not forget that he was also trained by Reborn./

Mukuro: "Brother-in-law! Such naughty thoughts about Tsuna…I like it! So, it's the incest fantasy, eh? I admit, that does top my schoolgirl-in-a-train fantasy. But wait and see, I shall overcome your perverted fantasy with an even better one~"

Tsuna: (Covers mouth in horror.) "You have another one?"

Dino: "Hahaha, bring it on. See if you can win over a Reborn alumni student."


"I really like your crying face, Tsuna-chan. How you try to endure and keep it all in, all those tears slipping past scrunched eyes~"

Ringed tentacles held down Tsuna, writhing around him in a mock-cocoon. They had long since ripped Tsuna's maid outfit apart. They were rather impatient, weren't they?

Ever since Tsuna's worthless father went into debt and sold off his only son to Mukuro Rokudo, Tsuna's life had been spent in nothing but skirts and lingerie day after day. He was now Mukuro's sex slave. A slim tentacle that was a darker cherry color than the rest twisted around Tsuna's stiff nipple, laving it with a strange sticky substance that seemed to burn Tsuna from the inside. "Aa! Wha-what is that?"

Mukuro, clad in a business suit, held up an index finger against his mouth to remind his servant, "Ah?"

Tsuna grimaced, "What is that…Mukuro-sama?"

Mukuro smiled pleasantly and said, "That, my lovely, is an aphrodisiac that works by external contact. Isn't amazing the things that I invent?" Which of course, included the tentacle plant oozing the aphrodisiac chemical. He cooed to the struggling teenager, "Don't worry, Tsuna-chan. I will come back after work and then you can have the real taste of a man. But for now, I'll leave this toy for you to amuse yourself." He walked out, after fixing the ribbons around Tsuna's neck into place.

The tentacles surged into Tsuna's mouth and hole…


Tsuna: (Head covered by hands.) "Such a sleazy guy…" /Impossible. Papa would never do something like that, selling me off…Oh, wait…CRAP./ (Now looks worried as he is reminded of the fact that Iemitsu has effectively given him up to the Vongola as their new heir, without even a single token protest on his father's part.)

Dino: (Amazed.) "Wow. That is pretty creative, isn't it? Very original that you mixed several fantasies all at once. Let me see if I got them all: tentacle-love, forced aphrodisiac, servant and master play, sadistic character, and tragic past that brings them all together…Very good!"

Mukuro: "You forgot cross-dressing by Tsuna."

Dino: "Oh, of course. Can't forget that. There wasn't even any sign of actual cock penetrating ass. That practically heightened the tension. Very well-done." (Claps his hands in honest appreciation.)

Tsuna: "Why are we talking about the technicals of Mukuro's sick fantasies? And Dino-niisan, please please, seriously PLEASE don't encourage him with your earnest comments."

Mukuro: (Preening.) "Finally! Someone who enjoys the same tastes as I do…"

Dino: "Don't worry so much about it, Tsuna-chan. We're just having a bit of fun."

Tsuna: (Eyes somehow stuck to Dino's lap.) /I think you're having too much fun./ "I think…I hear Spanner calling me…" (Backs away to Spanner talking with Ryohei on the other side of the room as Mukuro and Dino continue chatting about the essentials of a porn fantasy that revolved around Tsuna.)

Ryohei: "—So, I was telling him, 'all you gotta do is to slam it in extremely fast so he doesn't feel the pain'. You know what I mean? That way, it's over quickly."

Spanner: "I don't really know. Wouldn't that tear him apart?"

Tsuna: "I'm almost afraid to ask…but what are you guys talking about exactly?"

Ryohei: "Oi, Sawada! That Gokudera kid came by, talking about this fantasy thing your friends have. And then me and Spanner started talking about it too—"

Tsuna: (Holds hand against mouth in thinking pose.) /I'm starting to feel a bit paranoid. I mean, am I going to get gang-banged here or something? Is that why they keep talking about this perverted stuff they want to do?/

Spanner: (Looking at Tsuna.) "…Cute."

Ryohei: "—And I'm telling him that a person should just ram his tongue in quickly. Saliva is enough lubrication. And anyway, nothing's wrong with a little blood to go with practicing the horizontal tango, right? It could make you tougher, Sawada. Me, I like it straightforward and in doggie position. I get a lot of exercise that way. But I guess I wouldn't mind a bit of fighting before fucking.—"

Tsuna: /At least you're sort of normal…No wait…It's NOT normal to keep imagining me being penetrated repeatedly./

Spanner: "…I don't need to fantasize since I already did hentai things with Tsuna."

Tsuna: "WHAT?"

Ryohei: "Good for you, Sawada!"

Tsuna: "No, wait—what? What are you talking about?"

Spanner: "Don't be shy, Tsu-chan. Remember the first night we met? You were so bold, you know. I never realized Japanese kids could be so obscene…We even used handcuffs…"

Tsuna: "What the—Nothing happened that night! Nothing weird happened that night. It was probably just your IMAGINATION."

Spanner: "Huh. Tsuna-chan. Are you saying that night wasn't special at all for you?"

Ryohei: "Oi, oi, Sawada. Don't be so cold to your one-time lover."

Tsuna: "Ryohei-niisan, please believe me. Nothing happened at all, absolutely nothing—"

Spanner: "Oh, well. I still have that videotape of that night to blackmail you later on to do more H-things with me."

Ryohei: "Hey, that sounds fun. Could I have a copy?"

Tsuna: "What are you talking about? There was NO such thing that happened. And what sounds fun, big brother? Blackmailing me to do h-stuff with you?" (Nearly ripping his hair out.)

Ryohei: "Now, now. No need to get so hysterical, Sawada. I'm just doing some…research for practice. It's good to be extremely prepared."

Tsuna: (Breathes deeply for several minutes.) /Is this what they call psychological harassment?/

Ryohei&Spanner: (They both watch Tsuna gasping for breath.) "…"

Tsuna: (Runs.)

Tsuna: /There's something weird going on. Something very weird and suspicious. Why does it seem as if everybody's completely synchronized tonight? All talking about fantasies…Why am I the focus of these sick and twisted fantasies…? Suspicious…I should check on the Varia too, if they're being affected…/ (Bumps into Squalo.)

Squalo: "Vo~oi! If it isn't the rabbit himself. Happy birthday. Why are you in such a hurry? Gonna be late for something, eh?"

Tsuna: "Squalo-san! Please help me out. Did you hear anything strange from my friends…?"

Squalo: "Oh? You mean that stupid fantasy kink shit they're all yapping about? Complete bullshit. Why the hell don't they just act it out then? I mean, aren't rabbits in heat all year round?"

Tsuna: /This guy is even more deranged—!/ "…"

Xanxus: (In a bad mood.) "…Hey, you. Don't let such a good-quality wine bottle go to waste with low-class trash."


An unknown low-class trash lifted Tsuna's sore ass up so as not to spill anything, and jammed the buttplug in.

Tsuna jerked forward, but was already too exhausted to protest or say anything.

"It makes you feel uncomfortably full and empty right? Yes, it stretches your hole like a cock but it stops there. It doesn't go in all the way to your prostrate and all you can feel is the semen inside, yes? I wonder if the liquid inside would crust as it normally does. Or maybe your body heat would keep it as it is, sloshing around inside you. Like…a wine bottle. And guess what?" The man lifted a tiny remote and pressed a button.

The buttplug began to vibrate, slowly at first. Then it began to hum even faster and harder.

"Isn't it great? You can feel the vibrations all the way to your prostrate, I bet. And the semen has to be moving around even more. I wonder if it'll act like an enema? That'd be something interesting. I've always wanted to see if scat was my thing."

"Keep it on for school. I might want to fuck you raw during lunch break. This way, I don't have to waste time preparing you. A shame though that you might have to loosen up."


Xanxus: (Emitting a dark atmosphere at the audacious low-class trash that would dare do something like…that.) "…" (But also not realizing, he was getting kinda stiff down there because of that daydream.)

Squalo: ?

Tsuna: /Xanxus is clearly hallucinating…And I'm definitely not that curious about what he meant by wine bottles./ (Sees Fuuta walking with his ranking book.) "E-excuse me. I have to go talk to Fuuta." /Fuuta would have the answers! Or at least know who was the most likely to know what was happening./

(After explaining everything that had happened that night to Fuuta…)

Fuuta: "Huh. Well, I think I kind of know what's going on."

Tsuna: "Really?"

Fuuta: "Yeah. It's more your personality, not even your looks. I mean, yeah, you have slightly larger than normal eyes and an even creamy skin. I mean…you are the passive type and then sometimes you turn serious when you focus on protecting your friends and that intense look makes me wanna pin you down more…like a double versatile…something: cute and submissive then another moment cool and aloof and intense. It's so cute how you try to act like a seme…"

Tsuna: (Biting lip in horror.) "How do you know these kinds of things, Fuuta? Who has been teaching my little brother such bad things?"

Fuuta: "Ah, but I sort of like the older type of guy. You know, as my bottom?"

Tsuna: "…You're just fifteen years old, Fuuta…"

Fuuta: "Yeah, you know. I'm at that age where I get turned on by you—I mean, by anything."

Tsuna: /Freudian slip! This mess is definitely Reborn's work, I can feel it now./ (Runs off to find Reborn and to also avoid Fuuta.)


There was a sort of cold war occurring between all of Tsuna's guardians and allies.

It was an undeclared alliance, an unanimous treatise: Look but don't touch. They all danced a delicate spiderweb around Tsuna but were never actually allowed to touch him. It was understood that as soon as one of them tried to break the cardinal rule, the rest would gang up against that one person. While each of them in their own right was a powerhouse to be careful of…it was acknowledged that one could not overtake the rest of the party without some serious damage. Even Dino and the other mafia bosses understood this much. And even those bastards at the Varia had to bow down to the treatise. So, it was that Tsuna walked through life, alone and never feeling the touch of a lover. Then one day, a dashing young hitman collided paths with young Tsuna and his name was Reborn!


Reborn: "Well, student? How did you like my fantasy?"

Tsuna: "…It was like a really bad porno movie…with crappy dialogue full of inane puns and corny innuendos…But waitaminute…It was you! It's your entire fault everyone's talking about such things. You started it!"

Reborn: "Correct. Maybe, you're not such a useless student after all. I invited Mukuro to this party, knowing full well, he would bring this kind of trouble. So, have you learned anything?"

Tsuna: "…Err…"

Reborn: (Slaps hand against Tsuna's head and sighs.) "Must I even point it out anymore? Did you not see how ridiculously delusional the people around you actually are? And do you know why? That is because men think of sex 24/7. You must be on your guard, constantly. You cannot walk around so defenselessly, blushing all over the place. It makes you susceptible to attack!

Tsuna: "Actually, I think you are the most delusional one…but you may have a point." /Am I abnormal? I mean, I'm a guy but I don't think about that kind of stuff at all…maybe it's because I'm too busy with exams and random assassins trying to kill me and paying for the collateral damage my friends do and Reborn's training…no no, wait, I'm getting sucked in by their stupidity! Definitely...being sucked in…

Reborn: "Listen. Some couples like to role-play…but you aren't even in a relationship with any of these guys yet, and already they're planning all sorts of things…It's all because of your face and body type…very annoying. You saw and heard, right? You are the type that fulfills a lot of complexes for guys. Frankly, you could fit yourself into every kind of specialized complex there is under the sun. Lolita complex, sibling complex, boss complex…Too many to count. Now you have seen exactly how dangerous the people are around you."

Tsuna: /Oh my god. He's right. He's completely RIGHT./

Good luck, Tsuna in the coming days of adulthood.