Summary: Edward and Bella make love before he leaves her in New Moon. Now Bella has found herself in a surprising situation and must find a way to survive, not only for herself but for her child. She has found a new reason to live, but can she make it through sheer will and passion alone? Watch her try.
So I've recently edited this chapter and plan to do the same to the other chapters as well. I'm not really happy with how this story is written so I hope that you guys enjoy the new chapters. Of course, please R/R.
Open your eyes, Bella. Open your eyes.
I open my eyes quickly before closing them again, this time so tightly my head starts to hurt. I can't do this. I can't handle that this one moment can be the turning point of my life. This one moment, can make it or break it.
I've been in denial for too long, telling myself it's just stress. You just lost the love of your life; your body just can't handle it. I mean I proved that to everyone the night he left. My mind completely shutting down, I mentally and physically gave up. I don't even know what happened after that. I only remember waking up at my home with Charlie standing over me protectively.
Ever since that night everyone's been watching me like I'm going to pull out a razor and slit my wrists at any moment. Which I can't deny, I have considered it. The only thing that prevents a fatal ending for me is the thought that I'm not one of those girls. I am NOT like Rene. I'm stronger than that. I am a strong woman. At least I thought I was until Edward walked away from me leaving my life in tatters.
This train of thought only makes this moment so much harder. If I open my eyes and my worries are confirmed, then I will have to handle this alone. Can I do that? Can I handle this without him? We'll just have to see wont we.
I open my eyes and glance at the stick in my hand.
A rush of air escapes my lungs and the bathroom suddenly feels freezing cold. I'm glad I was already sitting on the ground because right about now my vision is blurring. I lean forwards and put my head between my raised knees. Tears start to drip slowly down my face. I can taste their saltiness on my lips and quickly wipe them away with the back of my hand.
With a sigh I lift my head up high and stare forwards at the wall, mind blank. I'm not really sure how much time has passed when my brain actually starts forming coherent thoughts once more. My first thought:
At least I'm living up to classic Bella form, right?
I mean, everything seems to happen to me at the completely wrong moment. Just two months ago this would have been…well it would have made me feel like the average small town teen queen, but I would have been happy. I didn't even think this was possible. We never knew. If we did we would have tried to prevent this, but at the same time I'm glad we didn't know.
I'm having Edwards baby, OUR baby. This baby inside of me is the culmination of our love, that crazy, irrational, all-consuming love. Its father is the most god-like man probably ever created. How can this baby not be perfect? My thoughts make me smile and my brain naturally starts rationalizing this, figuring out how I can make this work.
My thought sour slightly as I realize how perfect this moment could have been if only he were here. I can only imagine how happy this would have made him. He had no idea, and now he will probably never know. He won't get to lay his hand on my pregnant belly and feel our child kick for the first time, or be there to push me through the labor. Probably even worse he won't get to see this child's beautiful little face. I can see it now, beautiful amber eyes staring up at me. That smile, oh that smile.
For the first time I realize that this child is my savior. I have another reason to live. Another tear slips from my eye, but this time it is accompanied by a full toothed smile. My hand drops to my flat stomach and lies there gently, almost afraid of applying to much pressure.