Love Hurts

I would like to thank electrum for crawling through the beta mire to help me with this story. She pulled me out of "Tense" hell on more than one occasion and delivered a wreath of late-blooming participial phrases and gerunds. I treasure that wreath.

All mistakes are my own.

This story takes place between LWW and PC, book and movie verse.

NO SLASH WHAT SO EVER only family tenderness

Disclaimer: I was poor yesterday, today and probably will be tomorrow. So please don't sue because the works of C.S. Lewis belongs to him and any affiliate that makes that claim.

Chapter One: Darkness

Why does Peter have to be such an imbecile!? He's High king of Narnia, Sir Peter Wolf's-Bane, Emperor of the Lone Islands, Lord of Cair Paravel… You'd think a twenty-nine year old would know how to conduct himself, even if he is trapped in a younger body away from Home.

He's not a King without a kingdom; he knows eventually we'll go back. Besides we're here, ready, even now to follow him wherever he leads without a moment's hesitation. Of course, we're in England. Where would we go? But our loyalty to our brother the High King goes beyond question. Like I mentioned before, wherever he leads, we'll follow.

I know he desires to go back, so do we all. But his attitude lately has been beastly towards anyone who crosses his path, even Lucy. That was an unthinkable act and he suffered my wrath for it.

Susan, never one for conflict, not even in Narnia, tries to avoid him at all cost. Well, there is one conflict, a bother really. It's her constant nagging to get me to eat. So what I forget sometimes? I make up for it later…if I like what's being served. Two lifetimes of this harassment is unbearable and unfair.

These past few months have been awful, and I don't know how much more the girls and I can take. It seems wherever Peter went, there was a limping, bloody boy left in his wake. If I'm there, I'm usually able to calm him, to remind him of who he is. I must admit sometimes the boys deserved his wrath, sometimes they didn't. Either way, Peter was wrong to react. If they only knew how their lives would be added as a notch to his belt if we were in Narnia and he had his sword, then they'd think twice before provoking him.

I know in the heart of my good and patient brother there is no malice, no darkness where he would intentionally do harm. It's not in his nature and it hurts to see him going against it.

That is why I constantly ask, beg, and plead with Aslan to send us back soon. Mostly for Peter's sake, because sometimes I feel he will loose his mind if we don't return quickly. He doesn't know what to do with himself, none of us do really. We go to school with many of life's questions answered already, and we just pretend to be a part of the innocents that surrounds us. Sometimes we slip up with courtly manners or speech, causing many teachers to raise a curious brow and then quickly cover our tracts with adolescent antics.

There is no court to hold, no diplomatic errands to run, no battles to fight to secure our lands, our home, for our beloved subjects. How do we adjust from that? We had a schedule we kept for fifteen years, and now…

We live in this indescribable anguish, and our High King suffers most of all. I need a drink. Unfortunately here in England I'm much too young for it, no matter how watered down the wine is.

You know, now that I think about it, Peter reminds me of a neighbor we use to have a long time ago. Well, not that long ago. Urgh, I'm still having trouble distinguishing the two time lines. Not long after they moved onto our street, I became good friends with Mr. Seal's son Desmond. We spent a lot of time together at each others houses and of course that included dinners. He was the answer to every mother's prayer at dinner time because he ate everything put before him, and asked for seconds. Me on the other hand, well I won't reflect anymore on that. Peter reminds me of Desmond's dad when he suddenly lost his job. He was all right for a while, but as time past without any luck of finding another, Mr. Seal became distant and short with his family and friends.

At a tender age Peter managed to rule a kingdom and somehow become a surrogate father to my sisters and me. In my opinion he did both admirably well. But I see without his kingdom to rule Peter is like a father who has lost his job, and his behavior will likely mirror most jobless men who feel they have failed their families, which is not the case at all. He is our restorer, protector, comforter and councilor. He'll soon have that feeling of employment again I'm sure.

Meanwhile others have cause to fear or rather to be cautious around him. My brother is in a league of his own, the bugger.