War is for sissies. Real men fight bots.

November, 2003

There was so much excitement in the room that it seemed liable to explode at any moment. The empty arena seemed to be taunting the spectators with wild dreams of their favorite machines going head-to-head. This wasn't just a game anymore. National pride was at stake.

Three men entered the overhanging platform. The crowd went nuts.

"Presenting the Masters of Ceremonies, Craig Charles, Tim Green, and Bill Dwyer!" said the announcer.

"That's right, ladies and gentlemen, do we have a show for you tonight! Because tonight, we settle the debate once and for all: Battlebots or Robot Wars? Who is superior? Who will reign supreme?!" shouted Craig. The audience was practically insane with glee.

"We've brought in sixteen of the best Battlebots competitors to duke it out with some of Europe's finest. Trust me; you ain't seen nothing like this," added Bill.

"We make them wait any more, guys, and they may rush the arena! How about we get this started? Craig, will you do the honors?" asked Tim.

Craig threw his arms out wide.


Music started pumping from the loudspeakers.

"From Huntington: Tornado."

The legendary pusher came out, with his wedge attached, to massive applause.

"Great machine, former champions. Most certainly a force to be reckoned with," said Craig.

"From the United States of America: Mauler 51-50"

The circular machine drove into the arena, his evil face seemingly sneering at the booing crowd.

"An excellent machine, did well in Season 5.0 but ended up losing to Mechavore after some issues with the weapon. Should make for a great fight," said Tim.

"Roboteers, stand by."

The crowd went silent, though it was a deafening silence.

"3-2-1, Activate!"

Mauler backpedaled away from Tornado, getting his massive shell up to speed as Tornado drove towards him. Sparks flew as Mauler's flails slammed into Tornado's wedge, knocking him away. Undaunted, he charged again, but missing to the left.


"Look at that gash! Mauler has torn clean through Tornado's side panel! Looks like he got a wheel, too!"

Tornado lurched around, his broken wheel wobbling on the shaft. Mauler slammed into his rear. Pieces went flying. Tornado tried to limp away, but Mauler would not be stopped. Small chunks of Tornado flew through the air as he ripped up the other side, disabling Tornado's drive.


Team Tornado surrendered as Mauler put the finishing touches on his mangled foe. They wanted to still have a machine after that was over. The crowd booed.

"Mauler lives up to his name and demolishes Tornado. Things are looking pretty grim for you guys, eh, Craig?" asked Bill.

"Just wait, boys…"