Disclaimer:-_- oh come on. I'm sure we know the drill by now. No need for me to waste good bytes of space.
The next 10 minutes found me sitting in a limousine, with various members of he wedding ceremony, headed towards the reception. Perhaps I should clarify that "various members of the wedding ceremony" included the two "Go"s. Ever been in a limo with Goku and Gohan? Well its an experience you should make a fervent effort to miss out on.
"Awww hey! Guys! Look! If you press this button the lights start dancing!"
"And if you press this one the little window to the driver seat closes!"
"Hey look! They have sodas in here!" Gohan exclaimed, reaching for the champagne.
"No Gohan!" Bulma pulled the champagne away "This is, uh, adult soda."
"Oh." Gohan nodded in understanding. "I had some adult apples before." he informed us all, smiling. ChiChi glared at Goku.
"Er, uh, I, er, I have no idea what he's talking about and Whoa! Look at *this* button!"
And so on, and so forth. Actually, I think Vegeta was just as fascinated by the little buttons in the limo, but, thank God, too haughty to show it. Finally, after what must have been about 15 minutes, but seemed like an hour of nodding, and saying "Yes Goku" we reached the place where the reception was being held.
It was a nice place. We saiyans immediately buckled down to eat so, for awhile, the reception was of the peaceful sort. Only the small talk of the humans and the occasional extra loud snarf breaking the quiet.
Oh, the peace lasted for awhile. There was plenty of food. As the food supply began to dwindle ChiChi came over and beat Goku over the head with a ladle 'til he consented to dance with her. Vegeta soon followed suit though, to his credit, he didn't need ladle persuasion.
Gohan and I exchanged shrugs and tried our best to finish the remaining food before the dance ended and they came back. Unfortunately I soon fell victim to the odious fate of the dance. Stupid girl. I had been so busy eating by the time I saw her she was standing right beside me.
I was about to give her the "go away and let me eat" glare of death (patented) when I was struck with the full blow of another superior glare of death. The "you had better be nice to the ladies young man!" glare of death. Shit. Did Goku tell Bulma she was my mom, or is it just that damn female intuition? In any case I soon found myself on the dance floor attempting to not step on some girl's feet.
Finally the song ended but before I could go back a salvage what was left of the my meal *another* girl came. It was like open season. They wouldn't leave me alone. I've known it for awhile but never have the full repercussions of it stuck me in the face as solidly as they did tonight. I'm just too sexy for my own good.
Bored out of my mind I looked to see what everyone else was doing. Besides Master Roshi, who was bound and gagged with what looked like purse straps, sashes, shawls and napkins, everyone else seemed to be dancing.
It was a comic picture. Krillin was attempting to lead while dancing with a blue haired girl at least 3 feet taller than him. ChiChi hit Goku with the ladle every time he cast a wistful glance at the buffet. Piccolo was dancing with Bulma's grandmother and looked like he was either about to hock a laser loogie or burst into tears. Some little girl had even picked up Gohan and they were running around playing the two person version of ring around the rosie.
The music stopped. I looked up expectantly. Was it over? Could I leave? Apparently not, for I, along with all other males, was carted over to one side of the room and the females to the other. Something was fishy. The girls kept looking over at the men and giggling. Master Roshi was apparently warming up. Very disturbing. I pulled Krillen over.
"Krillen, what's going on?" I asked.
"Oh, the garter and bouquet are about to be thrown." he answered. I blinked. Was that cryptic phrase supposed to mean anything to me? It was apparently supposed to. I had to clarify.
"Which means...?" I was so kind as to begin the next sentence Krillen should have stated.
"Gee kid, never been to a wedding before, huh?" Krillen grinned.
"Uh, yeah." I mumbled, scratching my head. "So what's it mean?"
"Kinda an old tradition." Krillen began "Who ever catches the bouquet and garter are supposed to be the next to marry."
"So, steer clear of the little lacy thing then?"
"What ever floats your boat kid." he replied, spitting on his hands.
Eventually Vegeta was pushed to the front of the crowd. At first he had my exact sentiments on the the whole "wedding tradition" thing, but had brightened up(for Vegeta this means shifting to only a mild death glare) after the actually getting of the garter from Bulma's leg. He flicked the garter up in the air. I stood in the back of the crowd looking bored.
At least, I was until the garter hit me on the head.
Life is cruel.
A communal groan went up among the assembled guys and I received some semi good natured past on the back. I sighed. Well, maybe it wasn't so bad. I mean, its just a tradition right? No one really buys into it. Sure some girl may plaster herself to my arm for the rest of the night but hey, the night was almost over and when it was I was shipping up and heading back to home time. I mean, how bad could the girl be?
Now I had learned long ago never to ask questions like that but I learned that night not even to *think* them.
Suddenly, on the "bouquet side" of the the room I heard something that made my blood run cold. A communal complaint of "Awww man! Who let in the flying cat? That's not fair!" Puar. Puar caught the bouquet. I think that was about the closest I have ever come to crying.
With amazing saiyan reflexes, the type only used in moments of life and death, I passed the garter off to Master Roshi and made myself scarce. Very scarce. But not so scarce that I couldn't watch Master Roshi try to wrestle away the bouquet from Puar and give it to a buxom brunette who was trying to hide behind, to his immense delight, Yamcha.
At the beginning of the reception I had wondered why Bulma chose to serve "adult punch". I mean, she had known these people a longer than me and *I* felt like it was a very unwise decision. However, I now saw her reasoning. With friends like these who needs after dinner entertainment?
Well, the night wound down. The sane-er people began to trickle out until just the the closest friends remained. Gohan had fallen asleep in a chair and ChiChi had managed to stick head phones on him that would teach him trigonometry. Bulma and Vegeta were leaving.
No hovercraft for them. They would be traveling to their destination (a place on a small private island) by VeggieAir Inc. Vegeta lifted Bulma up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Since someone had eaten all the rice* we just smiled and waved and they took off.
HA HA! I WIN! I was overjoyed. It had taken hard work and suffering buy it had all turned out in the end. Damn I'm cool. The rest of the gang most have thought I was a couple "ha-me"s short of a Kamehameha though after all those back flips I did as soon as the happy couple was out of sight. Ah well.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the true story of how Bulma and Vegeta got together and married, and how I, magnificent being that I am, was brought into this world. Thank you. You've been a great audience.
*NOTE: I did not eat all the rice. I only ate some of the rice. Not all! Only some.