A/N: If you don't laugh at this chapter I'm going to be so disappointed. This is the missing scene of the tenth chapter of Till Death Do Us Part. This is in Edward's POV and I seriously couldn't breathe when I thought about this idea. God! It is awesome. The whole idea was so random. I was just in my head thinking about this story and at first it was Edward sitting on the porch because Jake wouldn't let him in but then it changed into Edward sitting on the couch with Jake in his lap and I couldn't understand why and then all of a sudden I saw this scene and I literally fell to my knees laughing. I was laughing so hard I was actually crying.
Summary: A scene from the ninth chapter of Till Death Do Us Part. Edward finds a way to make Jake like him.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
My dog and husband.
Twenty-five cents for the dog."
What Have I Done?
I had just gotten off work and was sitting on my table eating the dinner that I brought home from the hospital when I noticed Jake staring at me from the entrance of the kitchen. His eyes had narrowed in on me and his lips were curling over his gums. I would never admit it but Jake was actually scaring me a little. I understood that he didn't like me, I didn't care that much for him and the only reason he was still here is because I knew that it would hurt Bella if I made him leave, but I was honestly afraid for my life at the moment.
I took another bite of my sandwich before offering it to him. He didn't show any interest, in fact, he seemed insulted by the idea that I would offer it to him.
I bit my lip as I tried to think of something that he might like, since at the moment, I didn't have any dog food and I wasn't cruel enough to let him starve to death, no matter how bitter I was about him staying here with me.
I pulled myself away from the table and searched my (almost) empty pantry for something that was 'dog friendly.' There wasn't anything that I was willing to give up for Jake. So I went to a cupboard above the counter top, there wasn't anything in there either, except a bottle of low dose sleeping pills that I used when I had a minor case of insomnia.
I sat the sleeping pills on the countertop. They were expired and didn't think I would need them anymore; I'd been able to get to sleep just fine the last few months.
I opened the door to my fridge and smiled when I saw a package of hot dogs. I wasn't a spiteful person and I don't think that you could really be spiteful to a dog but when I saw those hot dogs, I was really tempted to pull one out and feed it to Jake. I wasn't sure what hot dogs were made out of, I didn't want to know what hot dogs were made out of, but I was pretty sure there was no dogs in there. American's wouldn't allow it.
I ignored the package of hot dogs and grabbed a slice of cheese instead. I looked at Jake as I held the slice of cheese in the air. He was wagging his tail and licking his lips.
"Now you like me…" I mumbled under my breath as I threw the package onto the countertop. It slid before stopping next to the bottle of sleeping medication.
It didn't take long before my brain click and idea quickly formed in my head. I grinned as I opened the bottle of medication and pulled out a small white pill. Bella would never know, it was a low dose and Jake was a big dog. There was nothing wrong with medicating your wife's dog so you could trick her into believing the dog actually liked you.
I bit the white pill in half, just to be on the safe side, and then wrapped it in the cheese. Jake would never know that he was medicated and Bella and I could have a night alone together with Jake passed out. Everyone would win in the end. Jake would get a good nights sleep, I'd get Bella to believe that Jake and I like each other, and I get a whole night alone with my wife. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
I clicked my tongue on the top of my roof and squatted down, holding out my hand with the cheese and sleeping medication for Jake. He was cautious coming towards me. He kept his head down and wouldn't take his eyes off of me as he stalked towards his pray.
"It's okay Jake." I lied. "No one is going to hurt you."
Jake took the bait and ate the slice of cheese along covering the medication. I grinned in triumph as I lifted myself into standing position and went to go eat the rest of my dinner. I'd give Jake about thirty minutes to pass out from the medication. After that all I had to do was let everything fall into place.
"Emmett! I think I killed Bella's dog." I screamed into my cell phone as I started to pace the room.
"What the hell?" Emmett screamed back at me. "I knew you didn't like him but you didn't have to kill him! Bella loves that dog."
"I know she does! And I didn't do it on purpose. I gave him some of the medication I used to take for my insomnia, it's a low dose and I only gave him half a pill. I thought it would calm him down and make him go to sleep early but then he started to walk around like he was drunk and then he kind of just tipped over."
"Is he breathing?" Emmett asked.
I fell to my knees and pressed my hand against his stomach. It rose up and down but slowly. "Yeah, he's breathing but not very steadily." I was honestly scared for the dog's life. I couldn't understand if it was guilt or if I was actually kind of, sort of, starting to like Jake.
"Give him CPR." Emmett instructed.
"Like mouth to mouth, CPR?" I asked aghast at the idea of putting my lips to a dog, let alone to a male dog.
"You've seen Something about Marry and Dr. Dolittle. Give the damn dog mouth to mouth."
I dropped the phone onto the floor and stared at the dog.
"Don't die on me, Jake." I screamed at him. "Don't die on me!"
I had no idea what I was doing. I knew how to do CPR on a human, it was one of the fundamentals of medical school, but I had no idea how to CPR on a dog. I grabbed his nose and held it before opening his muzzle and putting my lips onto it. His nose was wet and his lips were furry. It felt was like kissing Emmett's aunt Katrina (who decided to look him up and randomly stop by for a visit one day. She was convinced that I was somehow related to her). If I wasn't so committed to making this relationship work out with Bella, I probably wouldn't be doing this.
When I filled Jake's lungs up with air, I press lightly on his chest as I continued to give him CPR. Emmett was more of a dog person than I was so I trusted him on what to do. I continued the process three times, each time cringing when I had to put my lips to his muzzle, before I got back on the phone with Emmett to ask what to do now. Jake's breathing still sounded weird.
Emmett was laughing. "He's giving Bella's dog mouth to mouth. He thinks he fucking killed it by giving it half of his sleeping medication." He started to laugh harder.
"Emmett!" I screamed at him. "I'm being serious. I honestly think that Jake is dying." I wasn't worried about the fact that I had just given a dog mouth to mouth because my brother tricked me. I was actually starting to think that Jake needed it.
"Edward," Emmett chuckled. "Jake will be fine. He's a big dog, it was a low dose. Just keep a close eye on him for the rest of the night and make sure that he doesn't stop breathing, if he does send him to the nearest emergency vet."
"What am I supposed to tell Bella?" I was pressing lightly to Jake's chest.
"If she asks, just tell her that Jake is tired and needs his sleep. Enjoy the free time with her."
I hanged up the phone on Emmett and focused my full attention on Jake. I wasn't going to give him mouth to mouth but I was going to do as he said and keep a close eye on him.
I checked Jake's heart beat. I wasn't sure if it was slow or fast. For a human it was fast but I think dogs were different. His breathing had become more regular but I still wasn't sure that he was going to be okay.
I lifted Jake off the floor where he had fallen (he was a lot heavier than he looked) and brought him to the couch. I sat down and let him lay across my lap. I would just pretend that Jake had fallen asleep on my lap. There was nothing weird about that, okay, there was a lot of things weird about that but it could be believable.
I turned the TV on and stared nervously at it as I waited for Bella to come home.
"Please don't die on me, Jake. " I begged him. "Please don't die on me."
A/N: Reviews make me happy. :D
Daddy's Little Cannibal