You thought you understood love. How could one not? Really, it's easy. Boy loves girl, girl loves boy – or in your case, boy loves boy. You think their imperfections are cute, you find yourself smiling at random, normal everyday rituals that aren't really any special. You even find yourself smiling at the mere mention of his name. Brian. See? You're smiling already.
But you were soon to learn that love isn't just cute exchanges of words or holding each other. Throughout the years, you've learned that love is plotting against a politician that threatened to end everything you stood for, everything you were. Love is paying for your school tuition because your father's morals are truly messed up and broken beyond repair. Love is helping you beat your temporary fear of being in a crowd after your bashing. Love is making you find out – almost the hard way – that picking fights with fists and guns doesn't solve your problems… it adds to them. Love is searching for you frantically, trembling, after Babylon blew up; and then holding you tightly as if you were going to disappear if he didn't. Love is hearing the words "I love you" after years of knowing but never hearing. Love is letting you go so you could achieve the fame, fortune and respect you both knew you could get, but was just under your grasp if you stayed in Pittsburgh. Love is being taken back once you found yourself and said fame in the "big fucked up world we live in" before returning to the small, simple world that just held the two of you.
With each thrust of his hips, with each kiss to your flesh, with each slick sound of skin moving against skin, you knew more. You understood more. You lived more. You didn't think you were anything without this, you even said it to yourself, I'm nothing without this. He corrected you so often, and you'd accepted it, embraced it. You were each something without the other.. but together you were something special. Something more. Something alive and great, and you felt you'd ramble on like a girl if you really wanted to. Maybe you just might. After all, he saved your life - and more than just the bashing. He saved you countless times, as you did him. So now you understood Tom Cruise's line from that one movie...what was it? "You complete me." Brian Kinney had become just as much a part of you as Justin Taylor had become a part of him. It was life, it was... love.
Well, you certainly went through a lot in your life already and you knew this. You're only 23, how much more of a mess could you possibly get yourself into as the years go on? What else do you have to learn?
Doesn't matter; you know that whatever decides to cross your path, you had something better, someone better. Better than anything all those people that used to bring you down could ever have. Better than the people that didn't think you could make it could ever dream of. You really couldn't wait to rub it in their faces – and you were. With each show at some gallery, with each mention in a newspaper, in a magazine, you were showing them. You were something, are something. Maybe you'd go out and wave your hand in front of their faces as you laughed, sure that he would be right there with you, rubbing it in right beside you.
Because that's what love is, isn't it?