Title: Bonne Foi
Author: Amethyst Jackson
Category: Drama, Romance
Summary: AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Disclaimer: A writer is like a goddess in her universe…but only one writer is making the money off Twilight, and that's Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters, and I'm just having fun with them.
"I think I've finally got it," Bella said tentatively, hovering in the doorway of our living room. I sat up straight, a slow smile spreading across my face.
She nodded and crept closer. "I haven't been able to test it with anyone yet, so I'm not sure."
I tilted my head, observing the tightness around her eyes. "Why do you look so nervous, love?"
She shrugged, finally joining me on the loveseat. "If this works, you should be able to hear my thoughts."
"And that worries you?" I asked with concern. I'd been dying for the day she could control her shield enough to let me in. The only thing I desired beyond what I had right now was the experience of Bella's mind.
"You've only ever known me without my thoughts. What if you don't like my brain? What if I…annoy you?"
I shook my head quickly, suppressing a laugh. "Bella, love, don't take this the wrong way, but that's utterly stupid. I know you. I know your faults. Nothing in that head of yours is going to change how I feel about you."
"But how can you be sure?" she pressed.
"I'm sure because I love you," I said simply, knowing that alone would not assuage her fears. "Bella, have faith in me. Trust that my love is true enough that nothing can alter it."
"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds," she quoted in a whisper.
I nodded. "You can argue with me, but you can't argue with Shakespeare."
"The Bard knows best," she conceded with a sigh. She turned to face me fully, sitting cross-legged. "Okay. I'll try it. Are you ready?"
"So ready," I said eagerly.
She closed her eyes and scrunched up her face in concentration. I watched her with a smile, hoping to hear her but happy just to watch her attempt this. She was perfectly adorable.
After a few long seconds, I began to expect her to give up, but she didn't. I opened and shut my mouth a few times, by turns wanting to encourage her and wanting to reassure her that it was okay if she couldn't do it.
Can you hear me?
I let out a gasp because I could hear her and everything she sensed in this moment.
"Bella, you did it."
She nodded, eyes still wrinkled shut in concentration, and then she began to show me things. Her memories of our first time together. Her inability to stay away once she'd begun to suspect what I was. The fear she felt whenever she thought I was in danger. The hope she felt for our future together.
"Oh, Bella…Bella…" I couldn't stop myself from crossing the space between us. She had to know it was the same for me. There was no way I could ever show her with such clarity what I felt for her, but how I wished I could.
I took her face in my hands, and when her eyes flickered open to meet mine, the opening I'd had to her thoughts vanished. But it didn't matter; we had an eternity to explore that connection. Right now, I had to tell her. I had to show her.
I took her face in my hands and smiled. "Bella, you're so beautiful. Your mind is beautiful. And you love me – so much," I said in absolute wonder.
"I do," she nodded, looking as though she would cry if she could. I felt the same stinging in my eyes.
"I wish I could show you what you've shown me," I said desperately. "I wish I could let you see through my eyes. You'll never know what you've meant to me – but you deserve to. You deserve everything. I love you, Bella. I love you so completely."
She began to laugh giddily, covering my hands on her cheeks with her own small hands. "Edward, you can calm down. I know all that I need to know."
I shook my head and kissed her firmly. "You don't. But you will."
"We're going to have to leave soon, aren't we?" Bella said mournfully as we watched the Cullens disappear up the long driveway.
"Only if you want to," I said. "We can be inconspicuous with just the two of us. I know you don't want to go far from your father."
"I don't…but the Cullens are going so far away," she sighed, and I knew we were both going to miss them. They were headed for Quebec to live outside Montreal. I suspected Bella wanted to be there with them, but she felt conflicted when it came to leaving her home and human family.
"We have virtually unlimited resources," I reminded her. "And we have the time. We can go wherever you want, visit anyone whenever you want."
"I know," she said, turning to face me. She looped her arms around my torso and pressed her face to my chest. "It's just that Charlie…he only has so much time, relative to us anyway, and I'm so afraid of not making the most of it."
For some reason, the question that had been plaguing me chose that moment to come out.
"Do you want to get married?"
She blinked. "What?"
"I'm asking if you want to marry me."
Her brow furrowed skeptically. "Really?"
I started to feel tense about this. I hadn't anticipated meeting resistance. "You know, it's a little insulting that this is so surprising to you."
"I'm sorry," she said, softening. "I never thought you'd go for something as conventional as marriage. I didn't spend much time thinking about it."
I shrugged, growing ever more uncomfortable. "It's not as though we haven't made the commitment, is it? I thought you might want to have a wedding. Something your family could be part of."
"Is that the only reason you want to get married now?" Bella asked me, and she pulled away from me carefully. "Is this something you really want?"
I pulled out the box tucked away in my pocket and opened it for her. "This isn't a whim, Bella. I've been considering it for quite some time."
Her whole posture changed at the sight of the ring, and she gazed up at me with tender eyes. "You want to marry me," she stated softly.
"I do," I confirmed.
"Okay," she said, and she broke into a wide smile. "Let's get married, then."
The snow was up to the window sills of the cabin Bella and I had rented for our winter break from McGill. This suited me just fine. There was no need to go out now, which meant Bella and I were trapped inside, blessedly alone. I added another log to the crackling fire just for the enjoyment of the warmth and the homey scent of wood smoke. I turned around and looked at Bella. She was curled into a corner of the sofa, paging through Anna Karenina, thoroughly engrossed. I let out a sigh.
"You do know this is supposed to be a vacation, right?"
She peeked over the top of her book, frowning. "Yes…"
"And you've spent the last five semesters reading, reading, and more reading. You're an English major, remember?"
She rolled her eyes. "What, so I can't read for fun anymore?"
"What I'm suggesting," I began, sitting gingerly beside her on the couch, "is that perhaps we could make this Edward and Bella time instead of Tolstoy time."
She placed her open book face-down on the coffee table. "You act as though I've been neglecting you. Every night is Edward and Bella time."
"It's true," I conceded, "But it's frequently interrupted by Alice and Bella time or Emmett-being-bizarre time or paper-on-existentialism-in-French-literature time. I was really hoping for some unadulterated Bella over the break."
She laughed at me. "So I can't even read?"
"Not when it means you're not paying attention to me," I insisted. "Don't you remember asking me to be selfish with you? That's all I'm trying to do."
"Okay." She lounged back against the sofa and let her arms fall above her head. "Tell me what you want me to do."
I raised an eyebrow. We'd talked about this before. A certain amount of dominance on my part had always aroused Bella, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy having her at my mercy. We'd never had a great opportunity to really explore the notion, though. It seemed to require more privacy than our usual activities, and the family was always around us. Now, though…now we were all alone for weeks.
"What, are you suddenly shy, Mr. Masen?" Bella smirked. "Don't act like you haven't been waiting for this."
Suddenly she lifted her shield and showed me just how much she longed for filthy words and rough hands, and I felt my lips curl into an anticipatory smile.
"You'd better shut that sassy mouth of yours before it gets you into trouble," I growled, looming over her on hands and knees. I leaned in and nipped at her neck, causing her to shudder. "Now get up and strip for me."
I sat back against the couch and she stood slowly, stepping into the small space between my legs. I watched shamelessly as she lifted her sweater over her head, revealing the flimsy white camisole beneath. She wasn't wearing a bra and I could see her pebbled nipples pressing against the fabric. Her fingers slowly worked open the buttons keeping her jeans closed, and then with an innocent smile on her lips, she leaned forward to slide her pants to the ground, giving me an excellent view down her top.
She made a show of sliding the straps of her top down her shoulders, clutching the top to her chest once her arms were free. I began to grow impatient.
"Faster," I said simply. Her eyebrows went up, but she wisely said nothing. It was a shame. I would have had a reason to spank her if she did.
She whipped the camisole over her head, revealing her round, pert, wonderful breasts and leaving her only in a pair of dark purple panties that made a stunning contrast with her skin.
I let out a little sigh. My wife was so beautiful.
Finally, she turned away from me to take off her panties, giving me a perfect view of her round bottom as the fabric slid to the floor. I gave it a light smack, just because I could, and she peeked over her shoulder at me.
"Turn around," I instructed her. When she was facing me, I took a moment to rake my eyes over her body, and then I stood, brushing against her. "Now undress me. Quickly."
"Yes, sir," she purred, which turned me on more than a little. She rapidly divested me of my clothing and soon I stood naked before her, the head of my cock brushing against the soft skin of her abdomen.
I had to think quickly to decide what I wanted to do with her next. I hadn't exactly planned this, and there were so many possibilities. Perhaps it would be best to keep it simple for the first time.
"Get on your knees on the couch and lean over the back," I instructed, guiding her needlessly with my hands just for the excuse to touch her. When she was in position, I gave her delicious rump a squeeze and knelt on the floor behind her.
"You're not to turn around," I instructed her. "And you're not to speak unless you want to stop. You can make whatever other noises you need to," I said. "Moan, scream, whimper – just don't speak unless I ask you a direct question. Understood?"
"Yes, sir," she said, and I could hear her grinning – better yet, I could smell her excitement.
I ran my finger through her folds, circling around her clit. So soft. I really just wanted to bury my face there and lick for hours, but there wasn't anything particularly new and different about that. I had to make it exciting somehow.
"You're not allowed to come until I say you can," I told her as I slipped my index finger inside her, stroking lightly. She shivered. "If you come without my permission, I'll have to punish you. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," she breathed, and I added a second finger, pressing down against her g-spot. She whimpered and pushed back into my hand, which I then withdrew. She let out a little mewl of protest that was silenced when I placed my mouth against her and lapped greedily against her damp folds.
I had to hold myself back. If I lost myself in her as I usually did, I wouldn't be able to tell when I was pushing her too close, and I wasn't trying to make her fail at this challenge. I rather hoped she would succeed so that I could find a creative way to reward her.
Still, as her taste hit my tongue, it was impossible to completely deny my hunger. I slurped and sucked at her like the madman I was until her thighs began to quiver, and only then did I pull back. I took the moment to run my hands over her flawless skin until I felt she could take more, and then I was back at it. I continued at this until her entire lower body was shaking with the need for release, and then I decided to really test her.
"Just a little longer and you can have what you need," I promised, pumping my fingers into her once more. I let me thumb graze her clit and she made the telltale sound.
"Not yet," I growled in warning, but it was too late. She was already convulsing around my fingers. I withdrew my hand and sat back with a sigh, observing Bella's hung head and trembling form.
"Oh, Bella," I sighed again, rising to my feet. "Two more seconds, and I would have let you come – and I would have made you come so hard, my sweet. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm sorry, sir," she whispered.
"Yes, I'm sure you are," I murmured, running a hand over the smooth curve of her ass cheek. "I'm sorry, too. I was planning to fuck your beautiful pussy, but I can't reward you with my cock for this kind of behavior."
I ran my hand up her back and gathered her hair in my fist. "Sit up and turn around, Bella," I said with a slight tug. "You'll just have to make me come with your mouth."
With quiet obedience, she knelt on the floor in front of me, my hand still curled in her hair, and she parted her mouth to take me in. I traced my thumb over her bottom lip.
"Why didn't you just trust me to let you come when you needed it? You know I'll always take care of you...but you didn't have faith in me to know your limits. Are you sorry for that?"
She nodded, eyes wide. "Very sorry, sir."
I drew her forward. "Show me how sorry you are, sweetheart."
Gazing up at me with remorseful eyes, she leaned in and placed a wet kiss to the head of my cock. I let out a hiss and tightened my grasp on her hair. She started slowly with long licks and nuzzling kisses up my shaft. I was torn between ordering her to hurry up and suck me already, or begging her to make it last. In the end, I said nothing, but she knew instinctively when I was done with the teasing. Her mouth closed around me in a warm, tight embrace, and I moaned as she took me all the way in.
Now that Bella was a vampire, her blowjobs had me wishing I'd changed her the day I met her. Without her needing to breathe, there was never an impediment to her going on and on and on, and her much improved mastery of her gag reflex meant I slid right down.
Goddamn, it was good.
"I'm going to fuck your mouth now," I ground out. "I need it."
She nodded her head ever so slightly, just enough to show she was okay with my intention, and then I had her head cradled in my hands as I thrust my hips freely.
And bless her, she didn't stop at letting me have my way with her. She made sure to bathe me with her tongue all the way in and suck with all her might the whole way out.
"Fuck, I love you," I groaned as my balls tightened and my legs started to shake. She hummed in response, a vibration that tingled all up and down my cock, and I lost it. I thrust deep as I could and shot my release down her throat. I felt impossibly like my heart was pounding. My fingers began to stroke through her hair on their own.
"What a good girl," I murmured as I came down, massaging her scalp where I'd tugged perhaps a bit too hard on her hair. I pulled out of her mouth and ran my thumbs over her swollen lips. God, but she was beautiful. I wanted her again already.
"Go into the bedroom," I said roughly. "On your hands and knees on the bed – we're not done yet."
She scrambled to obey, and I stood gripping the back of the couch, collecting myself. Her mouth wasn't enough. I needed to be truly inside her. It was time to improvise again.
I went into the bedroom and took in the sight of her. She was on hands and knees as instructed, and she'd positioned herself facing away from the door, leaving her cute little bum in the air to greet me, legs spread wide to give me an eyeful.
"You took good care of me, sweetheart," I told her, "but it only made me want to fuck you more."
I was close enough now to touch her, and I trailed two fingers up her wet slit, drawing a tremor from her body. "You've still been a bad girl though, so I'll have to punish you before I fuck you."
She tensed as she waited to hear what I would do next.
"Are you ready for your spanking, my bad girl?" I asked lowly.
"Yes, sir." Her throaty response came as a moan, and that had me ridiculously turned on all over again. But first things first – a spanking.
The first light slap landed in the center of her right ass cheek. The next landed on the left. I continued this pattern with gradually increasing force. I listened to her breathing pick up, a reflexive reaction to her excitement, and I felt my cock hardening with each blow. Her skin was actually turning pink from the strikes, making her look almost human again. The thought of doing this to Bella in her delicate human state did crazy things to my head.
Finally, I landed a lighter slap directly to her pussy. She let out a shriek and arched her back, a reaction of mixed surprise and pleasure, I guessed. A few more sharp slaps told me everything. She got wetter with each strike.
I couldn't take it anymore. I positioned myself behind her and without warning, I grabbed her by the hips and buried myself in her.
She let out a startled noise, but her body gripped me in welcome. A growl tore from my throat and that was it - I was pounding into her like a madman, the sounds of her growing pleasure ringing in my ears.
"Are you close?" I asked through gritted teeth. It was rhetorical, really. I could feel her quivering around me, right on the edge.
"Yes, sir," she replied tightly.
"Hold if off just a little longer," I demanded, feeling that tell-tale heat creeping up my spine. I fucked her harder still, my hips slapping against her ass. In that moment, I was more animal than man.
"Now," I grunted when I was seconds away. "Come now."
She whimpered, and two thrusts later, she was clenched tight around my cock, coming like never before, and I thrust erratically as my release burst forth.
I pulled out of her reluctantly and tucked her against my side as I collapsed onto the bed.
"Did you enjoy that as much as I did?" I asked weakly. This was one of those times I really wished we could sleep for a while, just to complete the satiation.
"Yes, sir, I think I did," she responded.
I shook my head. "Scene over. No more 'Sir.' How did you feel about that?"
"It was hot," she said with a grin. "I like you all...bossy. Although next time, I think I'd like to be manhandled a little more."
"Oh yeah?" I raised an eyebrow. "And here I thought I might have been too rough."
She laughed. "No way. You still don't know how indestructible I am now."
"I probably never will," I acknowledged. She would always seem delicate to me, in one way or another.
She crawled on top of me, holding me down. "I guess I'll have to keep convincing you forever."
"How do you plan to do that?" I had a feeling I'd like the answer.
She leaned forward and pecked me on the lips. "The hard way, of course."
The look on Alice's face as she walked into our room would have made me uneasy on its own, but what I read in her mind left me unable to speak.
"What is it, Alice?" Bella asked, easily sensing what hung in the air.
"Your father," she said softly. "He doesn't have much time left."
Bella swallowed heavily, unnecessarily. "How long?"
"Twenty-three days," Alice murmured.
Bella clutched my hand hard enough to leave cracks in my skin. "But he's healthy. How…?"
"He's going to have a heart attack," Alice said regretfully.
Bella's mouth opened, closed, opened again. "I thought...I thought you could only see things based on decisions. How could you see a heart attack."
Alice gave her a pitying look because we all knew she was grasping at straws. "I can see things that are going to happen regardless of decisions. I can see the weather. I saw you becoming a vampire before Edward made that decision. I'm so sorry, Bella. Maybe I should have kept it to myself."
After a long, silent moment, Bella replied, "No…thank you for telling me, Alice." She turned to me. "Edward…"
"Do you want to fly or drive?" I asked, not beating around the bush. Flying would cut down our travel time by a few hours, perhaps, but driving would be infinitely less stressful. She looked at me with conflicted eyes. I knew she preferred to drive, but she felt guilty wasting a single second.
"It's late anyway, Bella. We'll get there too early if we fly now. Let's drive, let him get his sleep."
"Okay," she nodded, accepting the rationale. "Let's pack then."
As soon as Bella stood, Alice was upon her, hugging her fiercely. "I'm so sorry, Bella. Do you want us to come with you? The whole family would."
Bella bit her lip. "Thank you, Alice, but…this should be a quiet visit, I think."
Alice nodded her understanding. "Okay. I'll leave you to it."
As soon as we were packed, we were on the road. Bella asked to drive, and this time, I didn't put up a fight. I knew she needed something other than the near future to focus on, and the road was as good as anything.
Charlie was surprised when we turned up, and even more surprised when we said we'd be staying for a month. As far as he knew, though, Bella was on sabbatical from the university where we'd told him she was teaching, and my cover story was free-lance technical writing, so he didn't question how we could stay so long. He was simply glad to see us – or Bella, at any rate. He preferred me in smaller doses.
The first night we were there, Bella spent Charlie's sleeping hours choking out dry sobs, tucked against my chest. I felt helpless, unable to do anything to take away her pain. After a few days of crying and talking about changing her father and lashing out at me when I said that was not the best idea, Bella finally found her way to a new sense of equilibrium, and she set out to make the most of her remaining time with her father. She cooked him elaborate dinners each night, watched lengthy baseball games with him, even went out fishing on Sunday. I tried to keep out of their way for the most part.
When we'd been there for three weeks, Alice called me. Bella was out having lunch with her dad, and I dreaded passing on the news I would receive.
"Soon?" I asked preemptively.
"Tomorrow night," Alice said. "Just before dinner. Right now, I see Bella cooking something and Charlie getting up to check it out. You call 911, but he doesn't make it to the hospital."
I closed my eyes. Charlie deserved better than to die in the back of an ambulance, and Bella shouldn't have to go through that. There had to be something I could do.
"Can I change it?" I asked.
"I don't know," was her reply. "You'd have to decide on something first."
"I could tell Bella," I suggested, picturing myself doing so.
"No," Alice said immediately. "It won't change it at all."
I grimaced. Maybe I could –
"No. Driving him to the hospital yourself won't help."
I closed my eyes. There had to be some way.
"No, Edward. Don't you dare tell Charlie. He shouldn't know - I know it would make it easier for Bella, but she wouldn't want it, and you know it."
"He already knows Bella will outlive him. He'd want to make it easier for her."
"It's too much to put on his shoulders, Edward. And it doesn't make much of a difference. Edward, it's going to hurt here no matter where it happens."
I sighed. "I hate this."
"I know," Alice said. "It sucks."
That night, Bella was obviously on edge, knowing her time with Charlie was almost up. I thought Charlie could sense the urgency too, though I hoped Bella didn't notice the change in him. He was simply more attentive, said thank you more often, asked Bella more questions about our lives.
They stayed up late talking. Bella asked him about his relationship with her mother, about her grandparents, things she wouldn't be able to ask soon. Charlie was significantly more forthcoming than usual. Eventually, I left the house, going out to hunt to give Bella privacy with her father.
After Charlie had gone to bed, Bella came to me in the woods with all her pain shining in her eyes.
"It's tomorrow, isn't it? Day twenty-three? Has Alice called?"
"Yes, it's tomorrow," I said, wishing she'd come close enough for me to touch her. "Alice called this morning. Do you want to know the details?"
Bella shook her head and sat against the mossy trunk of an oak tree. "I won't be able to act normally tomorrow as it is. If I know when it happens, I'll be counting the seconds."
I crouched beside her. "Maybe it would have been better not to know at all."
"No – no," she said quickly. "I wouldn't give up the chance to say goodbye. I just hate that it has to happen at all. It's too soon…"
"I'm sorry," I said. Those were the only words I had left.
She crawled into my lap and stayed there until the birds announced the coming sunrise.
"Carlisle and the family are going to be moving again once the school year is finished," I told Bella. Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett were pretending to be in high school again. Bella and I had opted for college instead. Neither of us could tolerate high school for long.
Bella nodded. She'd been expecting as much. "Where are they going this time?" she asked without looking up from her book.
"Maine," I answered.
"Hmm. Maine could be nice," she hummed, disinterested for now.
"I was thinking maybe we should go somewhere else, actually."
Bella looked up at me over The Brothers Karamazov. "Somewhere else? You want to leave the Cullens?"
"Not permanently," I hastened to say. "But for a while. We haven't really traveled yet," I pointed out. I didn't mention that we'd put it off this long because of her parents. Renee had passed nearly ten years ago, and since then we'd continued drifting along with the Cullens.
Bella tilted her head, eyes unreadable. "Where would we go?"
"Well," I began, "I thought we could start in England and make our way east."
Bella's lips quirked. "Europe?"
"Europe," I confirmed.
Bella bit her lip. "How long?"
I rolled my eyes. "Bella, you know we'll stay as long as you want."
"That's just it," she laughed. "I'm afraid I'll never want to leave." She finally tossed her book on the coffee table, fully devoted to this conversation. "So we'll go to Paris?"
"If you like."
Bella jumped into my arms laughing. "Okay. Let's do it."
And three weeks later, we began the rest of our lives together.
A/N: This is the official end. I don't plan to write a sequel or future-takes. Occasionally, there may be bits of Bella's PoV - probably not the entire story, but some. You can put Bella's story, Existence and Essence, on alert to keep up with those.
As for future story plans, my immediate goals are to finish A Madman's Mercy and to get Anatomy of a Human on a regular update schedule. New fics will be coming after that.
Thanks for hanging in there. Writing this story has taught me so much and introduced me to so many wonderful people. I'm grateful to be able to take all that experience into my future writing life. I should especially thank my beta who has been endlessly honest and still so kind - thank you for bullying me into sending my chapters to you. ;)
Until we meet again...