A Purrfect Idea
Disclaimer: NCIS is not mine, I just steal the characters and mess around with them
Genres: Fluff, Humour, Romance
Warnings: Slight spoilers for season five's 'Dog Tags', but hardly anything major
Summary: Gibbs is punishing McGee and Ziva, but something distracts them.
A/N Yes, this is fluff, but since I am avoiding exam revision, deal with it. Dedicated to the lovely Sherry.
"You do know that this is your fault, McGee," Ziva muttered in annoyance. She made a face as her gloved hand fingered something squishy.
McGee stopped what he was doing and looked up at her. "It's not really my . . ."
"Yes, McGee," Ziva retorted, defiant, "it is most certainly your fault."
"How is it my . . ." McGee almost sounded as though he was about to whine. Ziva raised her muck-covered gloved hand to silence him with a glare.
"If you had not pissed off Gibbs then we would not be in this predicament, yes," Ziva said, eyes blazing.
"Technically, it was . . ."
"Do not even finish that sentence, McGee," Ziva cut in curtly. She frowned at him and turned away.
"Ziva," he complained, "it wasn't my fault. If Tony hadn't . . ."
Ziva turned back to him and gave him a withering glance. "Perhaps DiNozzo did start it, but you did not have to retaliate like a little child. And you most certainly did not need to get me involved."
"I've already said I'm sorry," McGee mumbled as he knocked his knee against the edge of the oversized dumpster. "Ouch."
"Serves you right," Ziva huffed and turned back to shifting through the rubbish, looking for their evidence.
"Ziva . . ."
Ziva turned on McGee with a glare. "If it was not for your, uh, paper ball things, we would not be in this mess."
"It was your ball that hit Gibbs," McGee countered, but was unable to match Ziva's look.
"It was only me because I was throwing it back at DiNozzo," Ziva replied, annoyed. "It was your ball to begin with."
"Look, I've already said sorry," McGee repeated, but then looked thoughtful. "Actually, it is Tony's fault, I think. He . . ."
"Do not go making excuses, McGee," Ziva warned, waging a dirty finger at him.
"Oh, I'm not," McGee replied smoothly. "It's actually Tony's fault because he was the one that blamed us," he finished.
Ziva seemed to consider this for moment. "Maybe," she started slowly, and then continued, "but you could have stood up for yourself. I am sure Gibbs would believe you over Tony."
McGee shook his head. "I think I'd rather this than having Tony torment me for the rest of my eternal life."
"I would not. I would prefer Tony tormenting you," Ziva grumbled. "As it is, I think I may have to torment you for your eternal life." She paused. "I am ruining my new shoes."
"You went shoe shopping," McGee blurted out before he could stop himself.
Ziva smirked. "Yes, and is that a problem, McGee?"
"No. No. No problem," McGee amended hastily, faintly blushing. "It's just, you know . . ."
"No, I do not know, McGee," Ziva answered "seriously". "Would you care to share?"
"Not particularly," he mumbled and cowered under her gaze. "It's just, well, shopping is not exactly, uh, how I'd picture your free time," he muttered.
Ziva smirked again. "You think I get my clothes delivered by the Snow Fairy, yes?" Ziva rolled her eyes. "How else am I to obtain clothing?"
McGee shrugged, turned away and suddenly became very interested in a mushy something. He didn't bother to correct her English mistake. Suddenly, he heard a noise and turned back to Ziva.
"Did you hear that?" he asked.
Ziva sighed. "Hear what, McGee."
McGee heard it again. "That. Listen. Can't you hear it?"
"No, I cannot hear it," Ziva replied, puzzled. "Perhaps you need your ears checked."
"I definitely heard something," McGee said, and clambered over to the edge of the dumpster and swung himself over the edge.
"Oi, you better not be leaving me here to do your dirty work," she huffed and McGee crouched down on his knees.
"It came from under here," he called to her.
"I do not care," Ziva called back. "I would just like to get this over with so I can take a shower."
"But it's . . ." McGee trailed off and paused. "It's a cat!"
"A what?" Ziva wasn't sure she heard correctly.
"A cat, Ziva. Actually, a kitten," McGee replied. "You know, a feline . . ."
"I know exactly what a cat is, thank you very much." Ziva waddled over to the side of the dumpster, heaved herself over the edge, and landed on the ground with a thump. The kitten winced and mewed.
"You frightened the kitten," McGee accused.
Ziva gave McGee an exasperated look. "So?"
"It is just a baby, Ziva," McGee defended the kitten. He was silent for a moment, and then looked pointedly at Ziva.
"What?" she snapped.
"Shouldn't we, like, get it out," he suggested.
"I suppose so," Ziva replied. "But why are you looking at me?"
"Because, well, you're a . . ." McGee regretted the sentence the moment he started to say it.
"I am a what, McGee," Ziva asked, amused.
"A . . . a girl," McGee mumbled, looking at the ground.
"So," Ziva said carefully, "you do not consider me womanly enough to shoe shop, yet you think since I am female, I coo over fluffy animals, yes."
McGee wisely chose to remain silent.
"I am waiting, McGee," Ziva said patiently.
"I, uh, well, it's, ah . . ." McGee spluttered as the kitten whined softly. "Shouldn't we do something about the cat," he hastily changed the subject.
"Do not look at me." Ziva raised her hands in the defensive position. "And we have not finished our conversation, Timothy . . ." She let the threat dangle mid-air.
McGee sighed and started cooing, "Here, kitty-kitty. Who's a good little kitty?"
Ziva snorted and could barely contain her laughter as McGee cooed again, "Here, kitty-kitty. I have some yummy food . . ."
"Do not lie to the poor animal," Ziva deadpanned as the kitten shrunk backwards.
"I don't see you trying," McGee huffed, looking slightly put out. Ziva smirked.
"Too late, McGee," Ziva laughed. "If only Tony could . . ."
"You better not tell Tony," McGee said warningly as he tried to coax the kitten out. "Or . . ."
"Or you'll what?" Ziva smirked.
Again, McGee chose not to answer and instead nearly yelled, "Come on, you damn cat. I'm not going to hurt you."
Ziva glared at McGee. "Because yelling at it is going to convince it to come out." Ziva shook her head. "I think not."
She gave McGee a resigned look and dropped to her knees. She murmured something in Hebrew and the little kitten darted out from its place under the dumpster. Ziva scooped it up and patted its head affectionately.
"See, that was not so hard," she said sweetly to the kitten, but glared at McGee.
McGee looked slightly shocked and asked, "How-how did you do that?"
"Perhaps it is because I am a girl," she smirked, using his previous statement against him. She tickled the kitten under its chin. "You are rather adorable," she said, practically cooing over the animal.
McGee looked flabbergasted. "But before . . ." he trailed off helpless before saying, resigned, "Women."
Ziva turned to McGee. "I think it is a boy."
"Fabulous," McGee sighed, looking less than impressed.
Ziva glared at him. "Show Leroy a little respect, Timothy."
"Yes." Ziva gave him a look that clearly told McGee to stay the hell out of her relationship with Leroy. "We already have Jethro, and now Leroy." She looked fondly at the cat.
"You're not keeping it, are you?"
"Firstly, it is a he, not an it," Ziva retorted. "And secondly, perhaps I will." She looked suggestive. "I would like a warm body to wake up next to, I think."
"Get a boyfriend, then," McGee muttered.
Ziva smirked. "Are you volunteering, McGee?" She paused, looked thoughtful and turned her attention to the kitten. "What do you think, Leroy? Should we adopt him?"
"I think that also, Leroy," she said before eying McGee up and down. "Maybe once he has had a shower, though. What do you think?" she asked the kitten.
Leroy meowed again.
Ziva nodded. "Good point. Timothy has much grovelling to do before he even thinks about being our warm body, yes."
Leroy purred contently in Ziva's arms.
Ziva smirked at a bewildered and blushing McGee. "I think Leroy has just adopted you as his human, McGee. I am sure he has always wanted a pet human. Isn't that right, Leroy?" she cooed.
Leroy continued purring.