Hey guys, sorry for the late updat :[.
btw saw the movie, and it was amazing :].
The song for this chapter is Where The Stars Go Blue- Tyler Hilton, and Bethany Joy
After Rose dropped me off that evening I had alot to contemplate about, so I skipped hunting, to think.
I was so stupid, drawing that. I could have drawn anything else, anything at all. But no, I had to draw that damn forest.
Of course he recognized it, he probably thought I was some pathetic excuse for a vampire.
I mean a hundred years later, and I was still pining over a guy who didn't love me.
I sighed and flopped down on my bed. I willed myself to sleep, just so I could escape reality, just for once.
But I couldn't. All of a sudden I just felt this rage of anger. I jumped up and grabbed my new TV, I took it with all my vampire strength and threw it across the room.
I stood there panting. Slowly I calmed down. I looked around and sighed I was so irrational. I carefully cleaned it all up and then went down to see if anything had fallen from the crash.
When I came up I dimmed the lights and closed all the windows, and doors so that I was engulfed in a temporary darkness.
I sighed in happiness and closed my eyes. I began singing my favorite song to myself:
"Dancing where the stars go blue,
Dancing where the evening fell,
Dancing in my wooden shoes,
In a wedding gown.
Dancing out on seventh street,
Dancing throught he underground,
Dancing little merrionnette,
Are you happy now?
Where do you go when you're lonely,
Where do you go when your blue?
Where do you go when your lonely I follow you.
When the stars go blue."
Slowly I opened my eyes, and what I saw made me gasp.
"Edward! what are you doing here?" And there he sat, in all his greek godliness on my desk, with an amused smile on his face.
He looked at me sheepishly, and slightly embarrassed?
I cocked an eyebrow waiting. He better have a good one...
"I had come to talk, but you were singing and I didn't want to disturb you..." Edward said earnestly. Ugh why did he have to be so... perfect? His persistance was making it harder and harder to hate him.
"Well, haven't you heard of, I don't know, knocking? Or using the front door?" I snapped.
"Well I knew you'd tell my to go away, and I really really need to talk to you..." He said pleadingly, and unknowningly he lashed out the full force of his eyes on me.
I sat there, momentarily stunned before I cleared my head. "Well you said you needed to talk, right? Then talk." I didn't care what he had to say, but after he said it he wont have any stalker excuses.
"Bella, you have to promise to hear me out: The whole truth." He said still staring at me, I looked into his topaz eyes, mesmerized and nodded, slightly dazed.
"Bella, I never ever stopped loving you. When I left I left to protect you. After what happened with Jasper, I realized that every second you spent with me was putting you--My very soul--in danger." I sat there stunned when he paused. No he couldn't, he doesn't love me.
"I was much to selfish to leave for anyone, but for you, I would do anything. Even if it meant lying to you, and cutting away half my soul. As long as I could go through the day knowing you were safe from what I was... I'd know I did the right thing."
"Edwa-" I began, I had to stop him, I couldn't take this.
Edward held up his hand. "Shh, Bella, you promised. After I left you, I became nothing but a worthless ball of misery. Jasper couldn't bear to be near me, because my emotions were so... painful to him."
"Bella I loved you, love you, and will always love you. Please take me back." He pleaded.
He couldn't, he doesn't, he loves me!??!? Edward Cullen actually loved me: Isabella Swan.
But no, I wasn't ready. Even though I loved him, I was not ready to open myself to him just yet. Maybe in time I could, but I couldn't now.
I shook my head no slowly. and I saw pain, hurt, and defeat flash through his eyes. "Edward I believe you, I truly do. But, I just can't open myself up to that just yet. Can we just be... friends, or something?" I pleaded.
"Bella, please, I'll do anything. Do you want me to beg?" He asked. His normally velvet voice, sounded choked.
"I'm sorry Edward," I whispered silently, staring at the floor.
"Well, fine Isabella." I winced you could literally feel the venom from his voice. "Goodbye." And Edward left.
I am such a cruel, heartless person. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve anything. I stuffed my face into my pillow, and sobbed tearlessly. I am an evil evil evil creature. How could I face him tommorrow? He had just pronounced his undying love for me, and I shoved it back in his face. I don't deserve love, at all.
srry 4 the depressingness in the chapter, but it was neccesary.
I saw the Twilight movie3 so i had to redeem Edward, cuz Edward was and is amazing :].
I have a big chapter coming up soon. Alot of vampire drama, it'll either be the next one, or the one after that... :].
Oh and I wanted to try something out. If anyone here has an AIM, and wants to become like good friends I'd love to try.
I just read this bok about madison flynn or w.e and idk, i want an online bff who i can tell anything and everything too, and vice versa, so yeah :].