AN~ Well, this is the end, guys. Can you believe it? My first story, and it's finished, finally. Also: EDITED
Normally I put in a thank you to all my reviewers, but I'm too lazy to today. Maybe I will if there are enough anonymous reviewers that deserve responses on this chapter.
She said no! Can you believe it? I showed up at her wedding, and she turned me down!
I mean, seriously! A guy leaves his girlfriend for five short years and she moves on! What kind of world is this?
She didn't totally say no, at least. She said something stupid about 'needing time' and 'wanting to think about it.'
So now Bradley and I get to have a wonderful competition to see who can win the fair maiden's heart, or some other stupid nonsense like that.
I'll start by pranking her, maybe? No, that's probably a bad idea. Flowers? Maybe? No. How... I don't even know what she likes! What if she's changed in five years?
Excuse me while I brainstorm.
Attempt three has failed. Attempt one was unsuccessful, and attempt two almost worked. Attempt four shall win! I shall romanticize her! Women love that! Yes. I will be successful.
She better hope it doesn't go too far, because attempt seven is removing the competition.
It's been a month. What is wrong with her? How can she not see that he's a loser and I'm her soulmate? I don't understand!
Excuse me, I have to go learn how to play the guitar so I can serenade Sabrina.
...I wonder if she'd like an electric guitar serenade...
She chose me! Can you believe it? She really actually chose me over him! I was a little scared she wouldn't for a while, she seemed really attached to him, and maybe I was a bit of a jerk, and it took her almost a year, but she chose me!
It may be because I gave her an ultimatum and said she could marry me or never see me again, and I gave her the ring and everything, but she picked me. I just...
This is what cloud nine feels like.
Sorry I haven't written in a while. I was a little caught up in arguing with Daphne over whether we should have a wedding like she wanted or like I wanted. Daphne wanted one that was all pretty and stuff, and I was like, 'do we really want to remind Sabrina of how well her last wedding went by having this one be just like it?' I won, kind of. We had the church decorated half like I wanted and half like Daphne wanted. It was great. My cake was green and slimy and full of jello, and I got to stuff it in Sabrina's face. All is right with this world.
And then after that we had three AWESOME weeks of honeymoon.
I won't give you details on that, but let's just say I know why people get married now.
So now we're home and Sabrina's back to work and it turns out I got accepted to dental school. Pulling teeth, here I come!
This is... terrifying.
I don't know anything about being a dad! I don't even know how to be a husband yet!
What do I do? I mean, this means diapers and bottles and no sleep and making it stop crying and naming it and... Yeah. No.
Maybe Mustardseed will know. Or mom or... somebody. 'Cause I can't do this.
Mustardseed told me to read a parenting book.
He was better than Mom, though. She told me it just 'comes naturally.' Well, from what I remember, when Mustardseed was born she just let Cobweb handle it. I should've known better than to ask my family. Maybe Sabrina's will know. She's been on the phone with her mom all day, so she's got to be picking something important up.
Maybe I'll... go to the library. And hope that they have something useful.
We went to the oh-bee-gin or whatever it is today, and they were a lot more helpful than the library. They were all like 'explain explain explain' and Sabrina was like 'yeah, that's great and helpful and all but what will make me stop puking up everywhere and liking my grandma's recipes?' (So much funny right there. Daphne loved the food and I liked the puke, except when I had to try to get it out of the carpet.) and they sort of kind of helped me figure out what to do and then they told us about this parenting and prenatal (don't know what that is, but I think it's 'before your life goes to Hell' or something) class for couples.
Sabrina actually kind of didn't want to do it, but I'm scared out of my friggin' wits so I signed us up right then and there. She can muddle her way through being a parent, but I want to do it right. Because my parents didn't. And so help me Jesus, my kid will get better.
We go on Tuesday.
The baby kicked today! It was...
There are no words.
Sabrina actually said it was worth the fifty bucks for this class! I can't believe it.
She's been telling me she can't believe I'm this excited to go to what's basically school, but whatever. It's fifty times more interesting than the stuff they're teaching us in dental school. And kids are fun. When I told her that, she told me I should switch careers and go be a teacher. I told her I don't want any more school, thanks.
I kind of think I'm going to like being a parent.
Sabrina had the baby. It's a girl. We named her Allison Bayberry Grimm because my mom told me if I didn't put a fairy name in there somewhere, she'd make me regret it. I didn't really actually name her, Sabrina just looked through the book and said, 'I like this name' and I said 'uh-huh', and when she'd made a list I pointed to one and she was like 'all right', and we both pretended I cared.
None of that matters, though, because my wife is holding my baby girl, and I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love Sabrina, but looking at that ugly little squalling thing there I know that I'd die for her in a heartbeat, especially if she stays ugly and loud and smelly, because then I can take her around places and drive people insane, and we'll get into so much trouble together, and women will pretend they think she's adorable and we'll all know they're lying and it'll be awesome.
Ally said her first word today. I was hoping it'd be daddy, but it wasn't. It was 'duck.' What kind of first word is 'duck'? I mean, really! If it was PUCK, I'd be okay with it. But nooo, she had to say duck. She doesn't even have any toy ducks! We don't live near any ducks!
Mom says my first word was garbage, and Sabrina said hers was da-da. So I'm gonna go with it being a mistake in Sabrina's gene pool. Goodness knows there are plenty of those.
You remember how we were solving a mystery on Ally's first birthday? Well, today was her second one, and we had an enormous party. Sabrina says it's all right 'cause she won't remember her first birthday anyway, but I don't care, really. I mean, a party's a party, and it's an excuse to show off my two wonderful ladies to everyone I can, and rub how much better my life is than everyone else's in their faces. Also cake.
She's pregnant again. I think I can handle it this time. I mean, I was a little nervous, but it's okay now. Ally's easy, most of the time. So yeah.
HOLY CRAP WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER KID.
The new baby was born. Just as wonderful. Also ugly and screaming and whoever says babies are adorable is a humongous liar. She's Emma Rose Grimm.
Ally thinks we should give it back. I love my kid.
One of these days Sabrina's going to kill me for laughing at something Ally says, but she won't do it today because she needs me to take care of Ally until she comes home from the hospital. Macaroni and cheese and pancakes for dinner! Hooray, Ally, Daddy can't cook for squat!
Ally cut off all her hair today. She said it was 'cause some boy at school stuck peanut butter in it, and then Sabrina started talking to her about how when boys do mean things to you it means they like you (she gave me a weird look when she said it. What did I do?), but I feel like it's not the real reason. I'm pretty sure Ally's tired of all the attention her sister's getting. She was fascinated by Emma for the first while, but now everyone's going 'cute baby' and they've stopped giving Ally attention.
I'll have to think of a way to make her feel important. Maybe she can prank with me. That'll get her plenty of attention. And it'll stop her giving herself horrible haircuts.
Sabrina fixed it, but it's really short, now.
We've decided not to tell the girls about Everafters yet. Ally we could maybe tell, but she might slip, so we're going to wait until she and Emma are both old enough that they can keep a secret, and tell them together. I think it's a bad idea, 'cause they'll probably find out anyway, but Sabrina made this whole 'logical argument' about how we can't have two girls talking about this to their friends, 'cause then there might be all sorts of issues.
Sometimes I hate being married to a lawyer.
What are you supposed to do when someone makes fun of your kid? Do you beat them up? Talk to their parents? Give your kid permission to make fun of them right back?
I'm kind of leaning towards killing them, but that's probably not the best idea.
There's a girl in Ally's class that makes fun of her. She won't say why, but I feel like it's bad. She came home crying today, and Sabrina's talking to her right now.
I hate this. I feel so helpless. I'm not good at talking to the girls about what's bothering them. I guess I should just be grateful I have a wife who is good at it.
Today was Sabrina and my tenth anniversary. We celebrated by having her parents take the kids someplace and we got romantic. We haven't done that in a while.
I don't know if she had as awesome a time as I did, but let me tell you, she's still got it.
I write about my girls more than my wife, but MAN. Times like this, when I have her all to myself, and I can talk with her, and we can... ahem... I am the luckiest fairy alive to be married to this woman. My life could not get any better than this.
Sabrina's in the bathroom right now, but I can hear the toilet flushing, so instead of gushing about her like some romantic dweeb, I'm going to go make good use of my blessings. Now.
Emma started kindergarten today. We held her back because it turns out she's dyslexic or something, and Sabrina wanted to give her a head start at home, but now she's off to school like a big girl, as pretty much the oldest in her class. I feel a bit bad for her, 'cause I know what it's like to not learn like everyone else and have people think you're stupid. I will not have that for my kid. If I have to learn how to read well and tutor her every night, I will make sure she does not struggle in school. She won't.
Emma has discovered where her talents lie: Ally may be the book-smart one, and she may take after her mom in the smarts department, but Emma is sports-crazy. We signed her up for soccer, and she took to it like me when I got my wings (we should start looking out for that in Ally, actually. I got mine at eleven, and she's already twelve.) She's just amazing at it. So she badgered Sabrina into signing her up for other sports. We did, and so far she's been great at every one she's tried.
I think Ally might be a bit jealous, because she can run, but she doesn't have great hand-eye coordination, and she's an awful team player. I don't know where Emma got the team thing from. But I think I'll take Ally out for ice cream, make her feel a bit better.
Ally has a boyfriend. I may have to kill him.
Sabrina says that's a bad idea, so I probably won't, because when she says it like that it really means, 'you kill him and I will make you miserable for the rest of your days.' So what we're going to do is invite him over for dinner, and then I get to terrify him. Or Sabrina can. Probably both of us. She can be terrifying, too, if she wants.
He was so terrified he broke up with her, Ally says. She's not speaking to me right now. I don't understand. What happened to 'I love you, Daddy,' and 'You're my favorite'? I miss my baby girl.
I still have Emma, though. And we may have to torture Big Sister for a bit to remind her how to have fun. I'm going to spend as much time as possible with my little snarky nine-year-old before she hits the 'I hate my parents' stage Ally's at.
Well, whatshisface broke up with Ally again. This is the third time. I don't understand what she sees in him.
Sabrina still won't let me kill him. She says Ally's going through enough right now. And she also said something about choosing boys that treat them awful being a family trait. I take offense to that, I think. Not sure. I'm nice!
Well, the cat's out of the bag. The kids know they're fairy princesses now. I'm pretty glad I wasn't home for that. Sabrina's kind of mad at me for leaving her to it. She even accused me of knowing Ally would grow wings today and leaving so I wouldn't have to deal with it! I'm offended!
I mean, she was kind of right, but still. I didn't KNOW it was going to happen today. It's just that her back was itching her a lot and I figured maybe...
We're going to start training the girls tomorrow. This isn't how either of us wanted to introduce them to the business, but I still don't think Emma can keep it a secret, and we can't have a liability like that.
This is going to be interesting.
But then again, when isn't my life interesting?