Hey, whaddya know, I'm back. Well, have fun reading.

Note: There's a scripted scene using fake screennames below for comedic purposes. So you know, please don't take offense to it if you don't like chatspeak, it's only part of a joke. Well, enjoy the fun!

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING mentioned below. So cheers.


I'm Hungry

It was much, much later by like five minutes after the furries found they had nothing to do as Sonic's TV was broken and Shadow couldn't be bothered off his laptop to use Chaos Control to teleport in a new one.

However they eventually formed some temporal sort of normal. Tails was tinkering with television in hopes of fixing it before Desperate Housewives came on; Knuckles looked to be indecently fondling the guitar hero guitar as his huge spiked gloves were far too big; Sikes was still unconscious from having Sonic smash him into the television; lastly Sonic himself was harshly drilling Knuckles on how to become an epic guitar hero master.

"No man–whammy! The whammy!" Sonic shouted, sipping cola. "Dude—use the (bleepin'!) whammy! !"

Knuckles worked furiously, knitting his brow and swearing as he tried so hard to play using the whammy and strum correctly to absolutely nothing, since the game wasn't even on and the TV was still broken. "Shut up! I'm doing it like I did Tails' mother! !"

"No, not like that! You have to—"

Shadow then decided it was a good time to shoot the guitar with a pistol. It immediately caught fire a second later.

"Aww..." Sonic began, dropping his cola. He turned to Knuckles sadly. "...You failed."

Sikes groaned and groggily stood up. His face was bleeding from the television glass cuts. Knuckles leapt up and accidently tossed the flaming guitar into Sikes head and promptly knocked him out again. His shirt caught also caught. This was ignored.

"I didn't fail! I did so well that is was necessary for Shadow to kill the guitar or my epic skillz would've burned this house to the ground!"

They also failed to notice the fire from the guitar and Sikes had spread to one wall completely and a living room sofa. Sikes was completely engulfed in the flames, and above him appeared an icon of the green echidna's head with a '5' next to it. After a few more seconds of burning, it dropped to '4'. Strangely enough, the fire eventually went out on its own.

Sonic only shrugged at Knuckles' reasoning, "Eh... Whatever. You still failed, though."

Before Knuckles could try to throttle the hedgehog, Shadow interjected, still playing Sims 3 on his laptop, "I'm hungry."

Sonic nodded. "Yeah, me too. All right. Knuckles, wanna help me cook?"

Knuckles face swelled from an angry grimace to a joyous, overly-enthusiastic smile. "Would I!"

So they walked off into the kitchen and Tails just finished his last wrench twist and clicked on the television. It worked; perfect sound, picture and everything. "I did it, Sonic! Oh yeah, and why did you guys mention my mother again?"

"'Cause Knuckles had said to her: 'Come on, step it up'!" Called Sonic, break-dancing. But his foot broke a piece of the glass cabinet so he quickly got up. "Oh–whoops. Wrong phrase... I mean—shut up the f(Bleep!) up, Tails!"

Tails ignored this, gathered a rubix cube he had smashed and then reassembled so he could claim he had completed one, and turned on Desperate Housewives. It only took a few seconds before Shadow's eyes began twitching with the upmost horror. "Oh my Ivo Gerald Robotnic! What the hell is this? !" He took out a semi-automatic and took out the television. "There."

"NOOOOOOOOO! !" Wailed Tails. "Now I'll never know what Samantha will do when her husband, Kyle, finds out about that peepshow!" Tails turned his fury on Shadow and threw a wrench into Shadow's computer, breaking it. The Sims on the screen screamed banshee like wails before the image fizzled out.

Shadow howled in anguish. Abruptly, crashing noises, shrieks, and roars of anger could be heard even in the kitchen. Sonic and Knuckles choose to ignore this as well.

"So what are we making?" Asked Knuckles, absent-mindedly pulling out a box of rat poison from the season cabinet.

Sonic was already oiling a pan and pulling out eggs. "What else? A Gauntlet."

Knuckles turned thoughtful. "O' yeah... an omelet loaded with pepper, hot sauce, the Asian spiciness stuff you seem to have, and fresh chilli's from your backyard, right?"

"Yep." Sonic made the preparations for the food, while Knuckles just got the supplies. Then the hedgehog said, placing a bowl of eggs, hot sauce, and black pepper next to Knuckles, "You put the peppers in."

Knuckles glanced at the bowl, then the bag a red, demonic chillies. "...How many?"

Sonic shrugged. "As many as you want. I'm cooking Shadow's first, then mine and you can have some noodles or something."

Although all Knuckles heard was 'as many as you want'. A small smile hit his face, and it slowly grew into bigger, viler proportions. An amused laugh of unadulterated badness escaped him and he grabbed the bag of chillies...

Shadow heard the laugh back in the living room, raised an eyebrow, and shrugged seeing as how he thought if couldn't involve him whatsoever. "Hmph." A couple of minutes ago, he had warped in a repair man and made him fix his laptop at gunpoint, so all was again well. Not to mention Tails was hanging from the ceiling limply by his feet, his lives icon reading '1'. It had been '8' before.

On his laptop Shadow had switched to a chat website having a conversation that went something like this:

RoadHog771: my friends r being stupid laughing like Eggman for no reason.

PsychicSilverSurfer55X: lol.

PsychicSilverSurfer55X: none of my friends but u guys r born yet.

RoadHog771: *Sigh* whhhhhhy dooo yooooouuuu keeeeeep goiiiiing baaaaack andddd fooorth frroooom theeee fuuuuture toooo noooooowwwwwwww?

PsychicSilverSurfer55X: I don't no, cause its fun... lol, psych, its cause my future sucks.

RoadHog771: Uuuuuuugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

RoadHog771: Just fix ur damn future already Silver and stop complaining about it. In fact, just forget about it. Thats what I did with my past. Twice.

PsychicSilverSurfer55X: ok.

PsychicSilverSurfer55X: Oh yeah n Blaze wanted me to help her find some sol emeralds today...

RoadHog771: forget that bish.

~ I'MNotEggMAN has enter the chatroom. ~

I'MNotEggMAN: OMG, are you good fellows exchanging the battle secrets of Sonic the Hedgehog and maybe even G.U.N, the military force, by any chance? Or perhaps discussing the whereabouts of the missing Chaos Emeralds? :D

RoadHog771: ...What? Ugh, its that n00b again.

PsychicSilverSurfer55X: Haha, ur not eggman because you slept with his mother last night. OOHHHH!

RoadHog771: lmao.

I'MNotEggMAN: D:

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

RoadHog771: Omg spam

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

I'MNotEggMAN: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND THE INTERNET AND THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK AND ARE SUBALTERN IN COMPARISON TO MY SCIENTFIC GENIUS!

PsychicSilverSurfer55X: lol, he spelt 'scientific' wrong. what a dumba(Boop! ...Yes. Even in a internet conversation.)

~I'MNotEggMAN has logged off.~

RoadHog771: Why did u censor yourself?

PsychicSilverSurfer55X: I did?

RoadHog771: Want 2 go get sum Infinito's later?

PsychicSilverSurfer55X: That all you can eat pizza place?

RoadHog771: yah.

PsychicSilverSurfer55X Ok. Oh sh(deep!) ! Blaze is here—no this isn't a porno I—!

~PsychicSilverSurfer55X has been booted.~

Shadow blinked a couple of times and tilted his head. "Oookay..." He wrote that too before logging off himself. As he did, Sonic and Knuckles came back into the living room. Carrying two plates of omelets, a bowl of noodles and some crackers for anyone else who wanted food. But seeing as how Sikes and Tails were currently dead, it didn't matter much.

"Bon appetite! Voila!" Sonic pronounced happily and placed the plates down. One omelet was a smooth yellow and slightly cooked brown... and the other... was a light red with appendages poking from it and giving it a slightly spiked look. It was constantly sizzling. When Shadow just raised an eyebrow at Sonic, he just said, "...Food's done, bish."

"Ah, sweet. Finally." Shadow put his laptop aside. He glanced at his omelet and raised an eyebrow again. "...a Gauntlet?"

"Yeah," Sonic answered, eating already. He had white rice with his egg... 'cause he cheated. There was also some green pellet sprinkle-shaped things topping the rice since Sonic had asked Knuckles to add salt to it while he searched for more snacks. Knuckles was just sitting on the other burnt conch, smiling gleefully.

Shadow still looked confused. "But why's it like... reddish and ... oh well. I can take it!" He pulled up a fork and pushed it toward the omelet and it began. When the metal touched egg and tore it, a wave of pure heat blast forth and watered Shadow's eyes instantly. From the abyss were rows among rows of glistening red peppers, slathered in the lava-ish hot-sauce. They radiated pure heat that shimmered the very air before him, casting off an aura of a demonic spirit. The heated air shimmered into the face of a demon and gave an evil laugh before fading back into steam.

All were silent.

After a moment, Sonic laughed. "He dead!"

Shadow stared at it with a gaping mouth. "Oh God... Sonic what did you do! ?"

Sonic continued laughing, "No, I didn't do that, that was all Knuckles. And here's a warning, If you eat that, your stomach will probably explode."

Shadow turned a shocked face over to Knuckles who looked as mad as Eggman right then, still smiling insanely. The dark hedgehog gave an appalled stare, mortified that his friend would try to kill him so cruelly. "Why not just shoot me?"

"That's your solution to most problems. I do stuff. "Answered Knuckles, tilting his head with that smile.

Go on, Shadow. Shadow spun back around. A craggily voice came from the egg. Eat me. Do it and prove your strength... Right then, it began speaking pig-Latin and they all were fearful.

Shadow uneasily took a fork-full of it and raised it to his face. Reflected in the apprehensive hedgehog's eyes were flames, 'cause the egg lit itself in blue fire, then went out. There were no burns on it.

Then... Shadow shakily took a bite. The moment his teeth crushed pepper, his pupils shrunk and he shuddered, but it was already too late. He swallowed, and the demonic chicken product did its worse, the heat began searing his mouth, evaporating all the moisture from it, trailing through his throat and too his stomach where the heat seemed to be searing through his very soul. For some reason, Ode To Joy played on the television while a clip of a nuke off was displayed. Of course the TV played this while broken and no one had touched the remote.

Naturally, Shadow's reaction was something like, "Ugghllggg.. Son of a b—AHH! AHHH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! ! ! ! ! ! AH! AH! AH! AH! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ! !" Shadow continued this for a long while, whilst Knuckles and Sonic laughed till they nearly died as well from suffocation.

After writhing on the conch for countless minutes, Shadow ended up slumped against the cushions, hand on his stomach and looked as if he had been shanked multiple times.

After confirming he wasn't dead, Knuckles and Sonic continued laughing their heads off... completely unaware of Shadow slumping limply to the floor. His lives dropping steadily from '7' to '6' to '3'...

But a moment later, Sonic began coughing, and his head fell onto the table and his lives, at '99', dropped to '5'. Knuckles stopped laughing and stared. "Uh... Sonic?" He looked at Sonic's half eaten rice with green pellets, then the carton he assumed was salt. "...Rat poison...?" He glanced at his bowl of noodles, they were halfway gone and he had used some of the toxins in his soup. "I thought that green mist coming from it looked strange..." Then he glanced at his lives icon and saw they read '1'. "...Damn Sikes, getting the Mexican mob angry... plus I told him that rash on my leg from that taco stand was swelling! Well guys, I'll see you at that checkpoint we hit near that crack house..." And then he started coughing, and also died, falling to the floor. Tails was still hanging from the ceiling, and Sikes... he had been on fire, so use your imagination.

A moment later, Eggman kicked the door open and burst in with a large ray-gun. "Behold and tremble in fear, SONIC! I'll teach you and your friends to mock me over the internet as well as in real life! With this ray-gun, I will—" Then he saw all the bodies. His face and mustache drooped and he went pale. "Oh... oh, well uh... this is... rather disturbing and uh... I... I'll just come back later then...and... yeah... okay." And he backed out of the house slowly, pulling the door back into place before hitting the street and running for it before whatever it was that got them got him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was much later when the furries extra lives kicked in-due to the severity of thier deaths-and they restarted from where they were. Sikes had to shave all the burnt fur off, but used his powers to regrow it since no one wanted a peach skinned echidna walking around. Angrily, he left, taking care to blast down Sonic's door with a green energy blast. Sonic woke up next and immediately ran off to go throw up, and Shadow pulled himself off the floor, sat down, and continued to hold his stomach with anguished groans. When Tails woke up and tried to get free from the ceiling the fox fell and Shadow laughed a little before the laughter immediately turned to anguished groans again. After a moment of recovery, Tails fixed the TV and wordlessly he and Sonic started playing Halo: Reach.

"Good thing we had that genie change the rules of how lives are used. We restart from where we were, and if you lose them all, then you restart from the last checkpoint." Tails said, catching Sonic's guy with a headshot and leading by 55 points. Sonic couldn't understand this, nor tried to.

"Tails, why'd you just explain that? We all know already," Sonic said. Then Tails took a laser sword to Sonic's spartan's back. The game announced 'Freak-ishly scary killing spree.' Tails smiled.

While outside of a crackhouse, completely oblivious to the gun fire going in said house, Knuckles stood thoughtfully wondering whether to go back to Sonic's house. Knowing he'd simply die again, Knuckles knew he shouldn't return... but a stray bullet burnt part of his dreadlocks, so he did anyway. When he came through the door, all eyes turned to glare murderously at him. "Now before everyone tries to kill me, let me say that I know that I purposely and accidently caused mostly everyone here to die a few times, but I am very, very sorry."

Shadow cocked his shotgun.

"AND—AND!" Knuckles shouted fearfully, holding out his hands. "...I bought everyone new computer games with that bank account money I was supposed to pay those dept collects with."

Instead of killing him, Sonic and Shadow just terribly beat Knuckles to a bloody pulp—and Sikes came back just to kick him before wordlessly going to sleep on a conch—and then they accepted the gifts and forgave the echidna. They also agreed Knuckles was banned for life from ever entering any kitchen again.

Shadow wiped off his gloves with a hanky then threw it away. "Come on, let's go to Infinito's and eat. My stomach is dead, but I'm still hungry."

"Hellz yeah!" Sonic agreed instantly. Then he froze. "Are we walking?"

They looked out the window. There car was gone. "Huh... grand theft auto...Yeah." Tails answered simply.

"AWWWWWUUGGHHHHHWHHHYYY—okay." Sonic replied instantly and followed Shadow and Tails out the door. Knuckles, however, remained on the ground, semi-conscious.

"Ooogh... g-guys...? A... little assistance... Please...?" When no one answered, Mario jumped through the window, still in his white Mafia suit and red tie, carrying an AK-47.

"Where's–a our money, Knux! ?"

Knuckles just glanced up, "...Oh Hell... I know a place where you can get shrooms, if that helps?" Mario cocked his gun and steadily aimed it at Knuckles. The echidna only sighed then let his head fall back on the floor.


Well, hope that was entertaining. I slapped that together just to get things moving again. In case anyone was wondering, 'PsychicSilverSurfer55X' was Silver the Hedgehog's screenname, and yes, he'll be appearing soon. 'RoadHog771' was Shadow, of course, and 'I'MNotEggMAN' was indeed Eggman. (Wink.)

I'll try to get the next chapter together soon enough. Till then, review! ! Oh, and check out Journey to Kleeto or Poke Vacation if you haven't yet and like Pokemon. There we go, a little shameless self-advertising never hurt...