Note: So, Yeah...I apologize in advance because I've been sitting on this update for a long time *ducks the tomatoes*. Thank you to my beta, Hollyclaw

Cross My Heart


Even now when I'm alone
I've always known with you
I am home

-Home; Vanessa Carlton

He'd known that this would be difficult for Sam, but he'd never expected it to be so hard. Every time when he thought he began to understand humans-and in turn, Sam-he found himself being cast backwards.

The worst part was that he no longer had any one he could go to for help; he would have to figure this problem out on his own.

"Please God," Sam sat in the farthest pew in the campus chapel and prayed. It had been months since he'd heard from his brother or father. "Please let them be okay."

Sam wasn't assimilating with the others as well as Castiel liked for him to. He knew that there would have to be a stage of grieving-if not for his father, for his brother…but this was going on for too long. He needed to move on and find his place or this buckling grief would destroy him.

Isolation could be the death of him. Sam needed love.

And Castiel refused to let Sam be undone in such a way.


"Sam, right?" She smiled brightly, cocking her head to the side to get a better look at him over his book.

Castiel knew from the start that she was perfect for him. Jessica Moore was a good girl, she had faith and believed in the very best of people. Jessica would give Sam the love he craved.

She extended her hand as he set the book down, his eyes flashing with nervousness.

"I'm Jessica Moore, we take Latin together….I don't know if you've noticed me…"

Jessica sounded wistful, and Sam had noticed her. They'd be very happy together.

"I-I have." Sam suddenly blushed. "Jessica. Um-" He looked at her confused. Why was she even talking to him?

Jessica slipped into the seat across from him. "This is so embarrassing…I hope you don't think I'm stalking you or anything but…" Now Jessica flushed pink. "Everyone says you're the very best in our class and…and I'm failing. I'm just hopeless at Latin." Jessica looked away from him, pushing a stray curl out of her eyes.

"I'm not the best." Sam blushed again; he was so bad with girls. Sometimes he wished-no almost always-he wished he was more like Dean. "I'm just…my dad was fluent."

Castiel felt something akin to relief; Sam didn't want to lie to this girl. He only hoped that in time Sam would be comfortable enough to drop his burden and tell her the truth.

"Lucky." Jess looked up at him with a smile. "So, I know you're probably crazy busy…but…"

Sam cut her off. "I'm not." It was a lie, but at this very moment he'd do anything for more time with this girl. "Really, I'd love to tutor you, Jessica."

"Jess." she jumped up out of her seat swiftly. "My friends call me Jess."

Relief, Castiel thought. She would save him, and now he could heal. Azazel wouldn't win. It was one small battle in a large war that he would not win. A small victory, and yet it meant more to him than…than he'd ever imagined it would.

"Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me Sam?"

Sam said a small prayer of thanks, closing his book. "I'd love to."

He shoved the book in the bag.

Castiel took a moment to meander through their future. They'd be very happy. Jessica would love him unconditionally, and Sam would come to trust her with his deepest and most painful secrets.

He'd name his first son Dean.

"You're in my Research Methods class, too." Jessica's smile didn't leave her face as she spoke. "Maybe we can work on the midterm presentation together, if you'd like. We could be great partners I think-You're not working with anyone already, are you?"

Mike could do a project on his own for once in his college career, Sam thought.

"No, no one." Sam pushed the door open for her. "I'd love to work with you, Jess."

It was a beginning, Castiel thought. He deserved a real beginning at something.