Hello loyal fans! Ok, ok, I know this isn't really sasunaru, but I still think you might like it. Eh, well, as long as you read -man and like laviallen that is. ^^;
Disclaimer: I do not own any character of -man….hey all belong to Hoshino-sensei. TT3TT *sniffle cry*
Ace of Spades
I waited a long time before I ever brought up that day to him. Tyki destroyed his innocence and tried to kill him. When we found the blood in the forest, I didn't know what to think. Was he dead or alive? Did Tyki take his body or not? And I found the card; the ace of dimonds from Allen's deck. I scanned the forest floor over with my eyes many times, but there were no other cards; they were gone just like he was. It scared me not knowing what had become of him, for he was my best friend, after all, and a brother as well. Then I had to go and put on a cool composure as we returned to the ship to see the messenger Panda told us about. I was so relieved that he was still alive, but bookman was there so I couldn't show it because he would've scolded me again for getting too attached.
You weren't supposed to return. You were going to stay at the Asian branch because your innocence was destroyed. When I saw you come out of Lenalee's innocence to fend off the earl, I could've sworn my heart stopped. You looked so different, so much stronger than you did before Tyki's attack. Your innocence was at it's strongest and so was your spirit.
The sight of you, back with us and as an exercist, was such a releif that I wasn't paying attention to my opponent and he escaped. Then, you came flying at me through the smoke and you called out my name. Even thinking about how suprised you were to see me still makes me laugh. YOU suprised to see ME! It's not like I was the one to lose both my innocence AND my arm, then come back even stronger.
I blinked and snapped out of my day dream. Panda had me doing boring paper work again, and it was so easy to get distracted while doing it. I yawned and started scribbling down words like I was told, though it really wasn't interesting at all. Sometimes I questioned why it is I want to be a Bookman.
I jumped as the door swung open and closed just as quickly. Allen stood against it, holding it shut. He looked panicked and was flushed in the face with raspy gaspes, that the only logical reasoning behind all that was he was running from Kanda and Mugen.
"Allen, what'd you say this time?" I asked.
Allen jumped about three feet, obviously unaware of the fact that he wasn't alone in the library. He met my gaze then sighed in relief, most likely realizing I wasn't Kanda. "I, uh, told Kanda that he makes all the girls jealous because he looks like such a pretty lady. Then, he called me an old man and I told him I might've hit on him if he hadn't attacked me when we first met, then he started chasing me with Mugen and now I'm here." He panted as he finished his run-on sentence.
I laughed and pushed my bandana down around my neck. "Haven't you learned yet not to push Yuu's buttons?" I asked, slightly amused, as Allen took the seat next to me.
"Hey, it's his fault too! If he wasn't so mean to me, I wouldn't wake up in the morning with the urge to piss him off to no end!" Allen laughed at his own comment and I joined in with him.
"It is fun to make him upset, though i don't know why." I thought about it for a moment, but brushed it off when I came up with no logical reasoning behind that fact. Yuu was just fun to irritate.
Allen got up to grab a book then came back to sit besides me and began to read. I started working on the papers again, less upset about doing them now that I had enjoyable company.
My best friend, through thick and thing since I arrived. Sure, I do things to purposly annoy him, like calling him 'moyashi', but he would only be upset for a moment. He always brushed it off as if nothing happened. It was nice to be able to joke and laugh with someone with out having your life threatened. But, Bookman has been considering leaving, so it wouldn't last too much longer.
I stopped writing and looked down at the paper sadly. So little time was left for me to spend with Allen and all the other friends I've made at the Order. How would I say good bye when I knew I'd have to promise to come back soon? I didn't even know if I'd ever see them again. Knowing Bookman, we probably wouldn't.
Allen was watching me with out my knowing and he knew what I was thinking about. Ever since Bookman told me that we may leave soon, it would show on my face what I was feeling whenever I thought about it, and Allen could read me with ease.
"Has Bookman told you how long yet?" Allen asked softly, letting his own sad gaze drift back to the pages of his book. I knew he wasn't reading it, it was just something less depressing to look at.
I closed my eyes and my grip tighten slightly on my pen. "No.. he hasn't."
"I see," Allen mumbled. He was just as upset with the fact as I was.
I opened my eyes and looked at him. His hair was so white and it looked so soft; his eyes, grey as winter nights wit a blue sheen in them, and that curse mark on his right eye -it shimmered a brilliant crimson. I thought of not being able to see his face every day and my heart's painful throb was almost unbearable. I laid a hand over it and looked away.
Why did it hurt so much to have to say good bye to him? I thought of having to say good bye to Komui, Lenalee, and Kanda and all I felt was a dull sting in my veins. Yet, when I looked at Allen and tried to imagine the good bye to him, I wanted to keel over it hurt so bad. Why him?
"Lavi?" Allen's voice called out and i felt something touch my cheek. It shocked me at how cold it was and I jerked away. My sudden movement startled Allen and he pulled back his gloved hand, but he kept leaning forward. "Lavi what's wrong? Are you in pain? Does your chest hurt? We should go down to the medical wing, so they can tell you what's wrong." Allen began to stand up, but I grabbed onto his sleeve. He shot me a confused look and I just shook my head.
"No Allen. There's nothing they can do for me." I immediately regret saying those words because it sent Allen into a panic.
"Oh no! Do you have some incurable disease?! Why didn't you tell me! Have you ever been in pain like this before?!" Allen just kept asking question after questing that I just stopped listening. My hand dropped down from my chest as I sighed but I couldn't let go of his sleeve. He was pulling away in an attempt to get out of my grip and go get help, but he I couldn't let him do something as stupid as that over a saddened heart.
"Allen," I said softly as I jerked hard on his arm to get him to shut up, "I don't have a disease or anything, but I'm not sure why my chest hurts. It's not medical though."
"Lavi, we shouldn't take any chances! What if you're wrong and you are sick?" He frowned at me, but it looked so cute, like a little pout.
"No, that's not-" i began but was cute off as i leaned too far back in my chair, and it fell over. Unfortunately, I still had a tight grip on Allen's sleeve and he came tumbling down with me.
I laughed hard and long along with Allen, and it kind of hurt a little since Allen was laying on my stomach, but we both needed that. We had been talking about something so depressing and we needed a change of topic.
We laughed for so long that by the time we calmed down, both of us were panting. Allen rested his head on my chest as he tried to catch his breath and it made my pulse pick up. Allen heard it and he looked up at my face.
"Lavi?" he asked softly and looked over my face. "Is everything okay? You're heart's beating awfully fast."
I looked away letting a book by my head grab my attention. "Yup. I'm fine." I tried counting all the pages just from looking out the side, but it wasn't going so great. I was all too aware of Allen laying across my chest.
Allen looked at me in disbelief. "Strike one. Try again."
I returned my gaze to him and my breath hitched. I hadn't felt him move but he was even closer than before. Our faces were only inches apart. Allen blushed, aware of our proximity but he didn't move. Neither of us could. We just stared and struggled to breath.
"Lavi..." Allen's whisper came out a bit strangled but it had something in it. I don't know what but it made me do something very odd.
I cupped Allen's face in my hand and used the other one to prop myself up. Allen stiffened beneath me, but only by him relaxing did I actually have the guts to press my lips to his. It was short and sweet the first time, our first kiss, no rush at all. But, when that kiss broke we went back for another and that one became rough.
His lips were so soft and moist as they moved with mine. I rolled over so I was laying on him and pulled him close to my body. I could feel him grip my hair tightly as he whispered my name. I started undoing his shirt and vest and I leaned back a little to marvel at him. He was just so soft and warm and his lips tasted so sweet; like a candy that I could easily get addicted to.
I began to place warm kisses on his neck, his collar bone, under his ear in a sweet spot I found and I made sure to leave a mark somewhere. I wanted everyone that tried to be with him to know that he was mine and no one else's. He moaned my name several times as I ran my hands up and down his chest, rubbing his nipples in the process.
"Lavi," Allen called out breathlessly. "Why did your chest hurt earlier?"
I smirked into his neck and made sure to leave a nice dark mark in the spot I was working on. "Because the thought of saying goodbye to you hurts."
Allen pressed himself closer to me and I felt something wet on my face. I turned my head a little to see that he was crying. "Allen?" I sat up and cradled him in my lap, letting him cry in the comfort of my arms.
"I wish you didn't have to leave! I wish there was some way you could stay here with me," Allen whispered when he had run out of tears.
I ran my cheek back and forth across his forehead and rubbed his back. I couldn't stand to see my Moyashi crying because of me; it just added on to the list of reasons as to why i should be emo. "I know, Allen, I know.... so do I."
We stayed like that for a while. Allen fell asleep in my arms so I moved him to the couch in there and covered him with a blanket. Bookman was going to check up on me soon and I wasn't anywhere near finishing the papers he set out for me, so I worked on those. I snuck a peek at Allen every five seconds whether it was to see if he was still sleeping or if it was just to look at him, then I heard the door open and close.
"Are you done with those papers yet, Lavi?" Bookman asked in an annoyed tone. I just shook my head and continued on with the papers and the peeking.
Bookman glanced over at Allen and I was glad I remembered to rebutton his shirt. No need to give the old man ideas. Allen's lips moved as if he were saying something and Bookman frowned. He was standing so much closer to Allen than I was sitting, so I wasn't able to catch what he said.
"I told you not to get attached, didn't I?" Bookman walked over to me, that frown still plastered on his face.
"Yes. You did." I didn't look up at him. I just continued to scribble down the words on the paper.
"So, why didn't you listen to me?"
I frowned and looked up at him. What had Allen said that made it seem like I had gotten attached? "What do you mean?" I asked as I watched the old man closely.
He sighed and sat down in the chair across from me. "Don't think I'm an idiot. I've seen the way you behave around this boy. You're obviously not pretending to care or be his friend. You've grown attached. Will you be able to say good bye when the time comes?" Bookman question, his gaze not the most friendly in the world.
I shrugged. "Probably not, but I wont have a choice then. But, for now, I might as well make the best of the time I still have left here." I smiled to myself at the thought of being able to be with Allen. If only we had realized this sooner we could've had more time, but, whether we did or not, I doubt that I'd ever feel like I'd had enough time with him.
The feeling deep inside me, the one that made my heart hurt at the thought of not seeing him, stirred. I had the strong urge to go lay besides the white haired boy and hold him in my arms. The feeling wanted me to never let go for the rest of my life; I would never be able to get enough of him and that was proof that I undeniably loved the boy sleeping across the room. I loved him so much it hurt.
Panda stood up with a sigh. "I don't know whether or not you're making a big mistake or if you're doing the right thing, but either way it's your problem now." He started walking away when an idea popped in my head.
"Hey, Panda!" I called out and I could've sworn I saw a vein pop in the back of his head.
"What?!" he hissed.
I looked at Allen then back at Bookman. "What did Allen say before? Did you hear?"
Bookman frowned and continued walking to the door. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, knowing I probably wouldn't get an answer out of him.
"He said your name then smiled." he replied and left the room.
I smiled to myself with the fact that I had invaded the boy's dreams, though, I was curious as to how long I have been in them, but that would have to wait. I would let my Moyashi sleep alone for the last time, and when he would wake up, I would never let him out of my sight again.
I got up and walked over to Allen. He looked so peaceful with the small smile of contentment on his face. I stroked his hair; it was just as soft as it looked and it made me wonder if Kanda just threatened to cut it off just so he could see if it really was soft. With a kiss on his forehead, I stood up and walked back to my chair to finished my work.
A black fogged covered my mind, but it slowly went away as the light drifted in. it took me a few minuets to realize I had been asleep, but slowly, brain activity started flowing back into me. I stretched my tired limbs above my head then froze. The memories of what happened in the library flowed back into my head. Lavi kissed me; it was so amazing too. I couldn't help but to blush at my own thoughts, but he truly was an exocentric kisser.
The my surroundings came into play. I remembered crying then falling asleep in warm warms in the library, but I wasn't in either of those now. I was in my tiny room, alone except for Timcampy who flutter aimlessly around the room. I was still in my cloths from yesterday, so whoever took me to my room didn't bother changing my cloths, much to my relief.
Suddenly, a loud knock on my door rang through the tiny space called my room. I slipped out from under my bed sheets and walked over to the door as Tim landed on my head.
"Morning!" the person chimed with a cheeky grin as I opened the door. I felt my cheeks heat up at the sight of him just standing there with that carefree look on his face.
"Lavi….good morning.." I responded, slightly breathless.
I fiddled with the hem of my shirt and I looked down at my feet as I debated whether or not to tell him one of my biggest and darkest secrets. Well, that was an exaggeration, but the secret was kind of important to me. Though, from what happened in the library last night, I'd think Lavi would've figured it out by now.
"Um, Lavi….about last night…" Lavi's smile faded into a serious mask, his eyes holding the slightest trace of regret.
I hesitated at first from Lavi strange reaction; why would he even have that kind of reaction after the incident. Just from the urge to get the strange look off his face, courage flooded into me. I smiled shyly at the Lavi, who seemed to calm a bit, then returned my gaze to his feet as a deep blush crept across his face.
" Um, well, if it wasn't obvious from last night…I like you Lavi…a lot… I probably even…love you…" I confessed quietly. There was a very short silence, then I felt the back of his hand caress my cheek. I looked up at Lai and saw that his expressing changed again. It wasn't serious anymore, now it was filled with love and happiness with ever touch filled with tenderness.
"I know, Allen…I love you, too." Lavi embraced me lovingly and we went into my room, shutting the door behind us. Who knew when Lavi was going to have to leave, but, now that our feelings were out in the open between us, I wanted to make the most of every day I'm with him. And maybe, when that time comes, my heart wont ache as horribly as it would if I was never with him, for, he would be taking that heart of mine with him; forever his.
Sheesh, I've had this fanfic in my head for a while now, but it took me 4EVA to actually write it. ^^;
So, this was my first attempt at a Laviallen one-shot, so sorry if it sucks. ^^; gotta get back into my fanfic groove. =3= lolz XD
Love it? Hate it? Tell me what you think? =D