Disclaimer:  If you recognize it, it belongs to the goddess, JKR.  Dedicated to Amy who is one of the staunchest R/H shippers I know.

If You Were Awake

Sometimes, I think you can hear me.

Sometimes, I tell you about the latest happening in Potions class or Transfiguration class or the latest stunt that my twin brothers have pulled off successfully and I would swear that your mouth moves just the tiniest bit…the barest hint of a smile.  It's the only thing that keeps me going these days.

I laugh, the sound of it echoing eerily around the infirmary.  If you were awake, you would probably tell me to stop being so melodramatic.  And you would be right.  But it's hard not to be melodramatic and melancholy and all that sort of thing when you are in a hospital ward with people who are living and yet dead.  I'm not the only one breathing here…but I am the only one talking.

Harry's been down a lot too.  He looks awful.  I know he feels responsible for this happening to you.  I tell him that it isn't his fault but I know he doesn't believe me.  I am the one who has been so thick-headed about everything.  You would probably agree with me on that score too.

I don't know what to think anymore.  I mean, before I came to Hogwarts, life was pretty easy.  Yeah, I had to put up with Gred and Forge and their bloody experiments during the summer but I never felt so scared.  Before I came to Hogwarts, the worst thing I thought could happen to me was to grow a tail, thanks to something my twin brothers slipped into my soup.  But then I came here and now I am scared witless.

I'm scared I'll die.

I'm scared we're all going to die.

Well, a bit of a correction there…

I'm scared you will die and, for an awful moment, I thought you had.

I hope you never have to go through what I went through.  I hope you never have to see someone you…well, care about…attacked like this. 

I just wish you would wake up and tell me what a stubborn oaf I am…tell me that I should read more…tell me once more that no one can apparate or disapparate within Hogwarts.

I won't argue with you.

Funny how something like this attack has brought out the best in some people.  Percy's over there with Penelope.  I've never seen him so upset…never thought he had much of a heart but it's pretty obvious just how much she means to him.

Do you want to hear something really weird, Hermione?

Even Snape came down here to visit you.


Yeah, that Snape.

The greasy-haired, big nosed git himself came down here with some potion…thought it might revive you.


He actually looked concerned.  He actually looked disappointed when it didn't work.  Oh, he didn't go all mushy on you, Hermione…after all, this is Snape we're talking about.  But, he was disappointed.  I could see it.  Even if he didn't want me to.

Strange fellow, that one.

Anyhow, almost everyone has been down to see you but no one can bear to look at you for very long…Ginny is crying all the time and she refuses to come down at all.  Don't know what is wrong with the girl…she worries me.

Are you cold?  Should I pull up the covers just a bit more?  I feel so useless, sitting here, talking to you and knowing you can't hear me.  You're like Sleeping Beauty in that muggle fairytale my mum used to tell Ginny.  Tricked into an enchanted sleep and waiting for her prince to awaken her.

Her prince.

Who is your prince, Hermione?

Who do you dream of?

I can't believe I am asking you that.

I touch your hair softly.  Yeah, it's still bushy but it's a nice colour…like honey on golden toast.  If you were awake you would probably scoff at that, saying that I think only about food.

That isn't true.  Not by half.

I think of a princess, sleeping in a castle, waiting for her prince to come.

I can't say it…but I may not have the chance to tell you again…

You are my princess.

Yes, you.

If you were awake, you would probably have bitten my head off by now but it is true.

Somehow, I will find a way to bring you back.

I promise you that.

I take your hand gently and kiss it, pressing it against my cheek for just a second.  I can feel the steady pulse in your wrist and I smile somewhat.  Mine is not so steady.

If you were awake, I would not have told you…not right now.

But I will.

One day.


When we're both awake.