A Not So Pseudo Date

"Sakura, does the killer have some sort of regeneration juts-?"


"Why does he seem to only prey upon what is called the babysitt-?"


"How can one not feel another's chakra if they are standing right be-?"


"But I do not understa-?"

"For the love of Kami, Sai, I will shove your entire bag of popcorn down your stupid throat, if you don't shut up and let me watch the damn movie!" The pink haired woman beside him all but bellowed, toward the side of her date's impassive face, in the otherwise empty movie theatre.

Turning back to watch the film –with the so-called babysitter about to call her boyfriend over, while the poor kid that she was supposed to be watching slept upstairs- Sakura added, much less hostile as she popped some of her own popcorn –from her own bag- into her mouth, "I'll explain at the end. Ok?"

Sai gave a hum in return as he continued to watch the slasher flick that she hadn't exactly had to force him to come along to.

Since the completion of a certain escort mission so many weeks before -that ended with their halves of the mission pay being used for the rebuilding of a certain bathhouse wall- Sakura and her new beau had done many things together like this.

And after many a first disaster, the kunoichi had finally figured out how to handle her new found love affair. For one, Sai was still and would always be plain old irritating, make you wanna pull your hair out Sai.

So, to watch a movie without having to be subjected to irate fellow movie-goers shushing them every five seconds or having his embarrassing comments making her want to run for the hills, Sakura had taken to watching movies only after they had been out for a while. Less people meant less stress on herself.

Sai didn't seem to mind. Of course, the bastard never did to begin with.

Popping another handful of buttery goodness into her mouth, her cheeks inflated like a bad case of bee-sting, Sakura chewed quietly as the boyfriend of the teen showed up on a front doorstep on screen.

Sakura had also learned that Sai wasn't one to share and still made off-hand comments that enraged her to the point of punching him in the face, gut, or any part of his body that was within range. Really, one would think that a man –having said it before and being suitably punished for it- would know better than to comment on weight gain and how his other half should avoid it.

Regretfully, Sai was still lacking in the tact department. Emerald eyes narrowed on said man's profile that was beside her in the dark. Or the bastard does it on purpose, just to rile me up!

Yes, Sakura suitably thought the reason was much more the latter than the first.

She had also learned that the masochistic idiot wasn't one for open public displays of affection. (Or so she had learned that one time she had tried to kiss him, on their first dinner date at a restaurant, only to end up having his palm being where his lips should have been in the process… before said palm rudely pushed her away.)

However, that wasn't to say that the idiot didn't get a little touchy-feely when they were behind closed doors, or next to sleeping bodies –poor Naruto-, or where no one else could see them.

Sakura squeezed the pale bit of arm, her own was wrapped around, on the armrest between them. Even with all his unusual habits and mannerisms and the rude and off-color comments coming from his usually flapping lips, the facts were the facts. She still loved the fool, even if she felt like bashing his face in at times.

Then an image of a vein-popping, whiskered idiot assaulted her mind as the two onscreen began to make out on a couch.

Naruto hadn't been merciful. Well, at least not after Sai had ruined all chance of breaking it to him gently, on the way home from that disaster of a completed mission that had led to their coupling in the first place.

When Yamato had jokingly asked Sai, after having yelled in their faces beforehand, "So, I take it you didn't let yourself get attacked last night, eh?" after having noticed the way Shigamoto-sama had awkwardly walked away from docking their pay....

Well, Sakura and the rest of the group hadn't expected the ink-user's wholly smirked and utterly arogant response of, "No. Not by Shigamoto-sama, at least," as he had looked right at the woman nonchalantly standing at his side.

When both jaw dropped team leaders flicked their wide-eyes to the red-faced kunoichi, who had immediately went to suitably strangle her supposed lover in turn… Well, it went without saying that even a daft Naruto was able to put two and two together under the circumstances.

It wasn't too hard really from Sakura's screeched, "You stupid bastard! Tell the entire world, why don't you?!" as her hands crushed the very breath from a windpipe.

Yeah… Her hands hadn't been the only ones wrapped around Sai's neck then.

Thankfully, in the end, after Kakashi and Yamato had both pulled off the pissed-off man and woman from the poor, purple-faced Ink-user, things had settled down and Naruto –like the brother and friend he truly was- had come to his senses. With a begrudging look off to the side, the blonde had extended his hand out to Sai, who took it and shook it with a smile. He even continued to smile as Naruto had growled out, "Make her cry and I'll kill you."

Yes, life was sweet for the kunoichi cuddling up to the man she loved as the two teens, on screen, started having sex before their very eyes.

Sakura's head tilted to the side along with Sai's.

A, "He lacks penis," was replied to with a, "Yeah, poor girl."

Then, Sakura's, "Well, looks like someone's gonna die," was replied to with an, "Indeed," as a shadowy figure loomed over the oblivious two on the couch on screen.

Pushing through the movie theatre's double doors into the cool night air, Sakura giddily smiled as Sai came up from behind, her favorite time of the night just around the bend, "Ah! Dessert! Dessert time!"

Sai sighed as he came along side her, "At this point, you do not always have to remind me."

Ah, yes. Their relationship was based on give and take. Sakura paid for the movie… and their damn popcorn, while she forced him to pay for the ice-cream afterwards. It was a suitable situation, if she did say so herself.

Sitting on their usual bench, stuffing her face with a banana split with her other half licking a vanilla ice-cream cone to her side, Sakura hummed contently behind her mouthful of delicious treat, "This is so good."

Silence lingered around them as the two enjoyed what Sai's money had paid for.

Sakura's mind wandered as she looked up to the moon in the sky. That glowing orb took on the face of a certain blonde kunoichi then, making the woman smirk with strawberry sauce clinging to her lips.

It seemed strangulation had become the fad for all who learned of their newly formed relationship of sorts. However, Sakura had enjoyed every minute of having the breath crushed from her throat -with nothing but the purest form of smugness coating her purple features at finally having bested Ino in love after all.

Smirking at that moon turned blonde, Sakura raised her chocolate covered spoon as she inwardly exclaimed with arrogance, 'Ha! The bastard's all mine, damn it! Whose dying the spinster now, huh?!'

The kunoichi continued to eat her treat in peace with that smirk continuing to linger on her food-stained lips just as the silent man to her side spoke up, "Sakura? Will you explain to me-"

Sakura interrupted, while waving off his words with an errant wave of her spoon, "Yeah, yeah." After stuffing her face again, she began, "Its like this..."

After her lengthy explanation of how knife-wielding, fictional killers and their horny, teenaged prey worked, Sakura, after having thrown away her trash, got up with an audible stretch of her limbs and a strained, "Come on, you bastard. We've got training in the morning."

As she began to walk off in the direction of her apartment –expecting him to follow, a hand on her wrist stopped her as she heard the sighed words from behind, "I will never understand why you feel the need to always take the lead."

As Sakura turned around with a smile, Sai added with an irritable frown, his hand still on her person, "Is it not the male who generally does so?"

Sakura found herself laughing at the downturn of his lips that so closely resembled a pout, while shaking her own head with mirth, "Yeah, generally." Then scrunching her nose playfully, she added –verbally taking a potshot at his manhood …just as their two leaders liked to do to him every chance they got those days, "But, I wouldn't say so in our case."

Sai's lips took on a distasteful twist. However, his features quickly turned an embarrassed shade of crimson as feminine arms went around his shoulders, with the kunoichi's lips planting a kiss on his flushed, clearly turned away cheek.

"What?" Sakura asked as she smirked at the clearly blushing male in her arms –that thankfully hadn't pushed her away, since the area was deserted for the moment, "Did you want to go back to your place instead?"

The kunoichi's features dropped completely as she heard him reply with a strong, "Yes," but quickly returned to their gleeful state as he added, still looking away, "If you wish to come along that is."

Sakura finally let Sai go as another couple rounded the bushes in the empty park. Starting off in the direction of her new destination -that being his apartment, Sakura playfully called over a shoulder, "Come on, slow poke!"

Sai shook his head as his chin hit his chest, feet already doing as was asked. Speaking to no one in particular, he sighed out wearily, "How manly."

Needless to say, eyes downcast like that, he didn't notice the stop of the woman's feet ahead or that feminine fist that oh so lovingly sailed his way as the bastard finally caught up.

Yes. It clearly went without saying that a love so completely strange and odd like their own could only have happened …between friends.

The End

Footnote: I'm so sad it's over, but I thought it would only do to end it here. Thank you for all the positive reviews and any who just read and enjoyed the story. If I have made at least one person slightly consider this overlooked pairing, then that's enough for me. Thank you so much for reading! :)