The Watcher Chapter 15
A/N: Randy and Anders will be majorly out of character in this chapter. There is a reason for Randy's odd behavior, however. (It's explained later in the chapter).
-Yours truly, Randy Taylor
I feel someone shaking my shoulder.
'Randy, there's a phone call for you' mom says. I sit up in bed. Who would be calling me at the early hour of…11:30? I'm shocked when I look at my clock/radio and see the time. There must be something wrong with it because there's no way I could have slept for 13 hours. Not if I still feel this tired.
'What time is it?' I ask mom.
'11:30. We've all been wondering when you'd wake up. Your dad told the people that were here to cut down the tree in the front to come back later so they wouldn't wake you up' mom says. We walk upstairs together.
'Hello' I say after I pick up the receiver.
'Hey Taylor, been bar hopping?' Jeremy asks.
'What?' I say.
'Have you been bar hopping? Is that why you slept so late this morning?' he asks again.
'No, for some reason my parents frown on underage drinking. I've just been super tired lately' I explain.
'Well do you think if you chug down a couple pots of coffee you could manage to come over to my house later?'
'Yeah, what time?' I ask.
'Say about five.'
'I don't know that's kind of late for a Sunday' I say.
'It won't take too long; I just want to show you a new video game I got' he says.
We agree to meet at 4:30 and say our goodbyes.
After that I let Anders out, go shower, and eat brunch. I notice the tree people have returned when I come back downstairs. Two bites into my cereal, Anders starts going crazy. I see him running around the yard, howling like his tail's on fire.
I go out to see what's going on, but all I see is the tree people conferring with dad.
'It's alright, they won't hurt you. They're just here to cut down that old oak' I assure him. This does nothing to calm him.
I pick him up and take him inside with me.
Great! This is just great! Now I'm going to be dead meat when I go outside again.
Sure I tried to save the tree, but the blue jay won't care. If I had only stuck with her plan and just climbed the tree like any other normal cat would, things would have worked out fine, but oh no! I have to go and act like the wimpy, chicken-hearted little runt of the litter that I am and always will be.
Amazing. I can kill a bird, jump off a roof, and even kill a human being (if that is indeed the species to which JC belonged), but I can't climb a damn tree to save a colony of animals.
I wish there was somebody out there that could help me. Help me! Somebody come help those poor animals!
Why am I even wasting my energy thinking these thoughts? It's not like anyone will ever hear them.
Randy sets me down in the chair next to Him at the table, as if He expects me to sit there with Him.
I hiss something at Him that I won't repeat. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret saying them.
For a second, I wonder if Randy could understand what I said. He looks hurt by my behavior.
'I brought you in so you wouldn't get hurt' He explains.
Oh sure, worry about me, but screw all the animals outside who are about to lose their home. Thinking about them gets me so mad, I mouth off a little more at Randy, and feel a little less regret this time, until I see Him get up, dump the contents of His bowl down the disposal, and go sit on the couch.
He sits there, flipping through the TV channels, thinking about something. (I know He has to be thinking because He's going too fast to even see what's on TV).
I walk over there with my tail between my legs and look up at Him.
'What, do you want to cuss me out some more for trying to keep you from being cut in two by the chainsaw? Come on, let me have it. I'm sure there's still plenty of feline cuss words you haven't said to me yet' He says.
I rub my head up against his right leg in an apologetic way.
'Words hurt Anders, whether they be human or feline. I don't know for sure what you said to me, but I can imagine. Guess what? I'm mad at you now, and it's going to take a lot more than rubbing up against my leg to make up for that. It's not as if that can just make the words disappear. You said what you said, and that has to be with you forever now. Now get out of here. I don't feel like being the usual Mr. Nice Randy today' He says.
Oh dear God, what have I done? I've gone and pissed off the one human that I truly loved and cared for, and vice-versa, all so some blue jay wouldn't attack me when I go outside.
As I slink away, I hear Him mumbling under his breath. The only word I make out is "indeed", which comes at the end.
I look back at Him.
'Your innocent, big eyed, cute kitty routine isn't going to work, so beat it' He snaps.
Could I…could I have been wrong about Randy? Could he really be like…no, he's just having a bad day. Or he's not feeling well. Or am I in denial?
Okay, so I was a little harsh on Anders. But he is the mouthiest damn cat I've ever heard of. He says whatever pops into his head, no matter what the consequences may be, and he needs to learn to do otherwise, and I think that this is the perfect way to teach him. He thinks he can be mad at who ever he wants to for whatever reason he wants to? Well let's see how he likes it when he's the effing something or other mother-effer.
God, what am I thinking doing this to him? He's probably going to be scared of me forever now since he has a past experiences with angry humans. I guess it would help if I was thinking but this stupid headache I've had for a while now makes that tough to do.
I think about going after him, apologizing. Maybe even giving him a whole can of tuna. No. I can't do that. How's that different from him rubbing up against my legs? No, I'm going to stay mad at him for a while. Maybe he'll think next time before shooting his big mouth off.
My thoughts are interrupted by scratching at the door.
'You're not going out Anders!' I yell. I hear a meow from the kitchen as the scratching continues. The meow meaning "It's not me, so get off my back about it." Okay, that was somewhat politer. At least he didn't call me any names.
I get up to see what/who is at the door. It's a large, grey tabby cat.
I too am curious about who's at the door, so I, completely disregarding Randy's previous instructions, follow Him to the door.
I'm shocked when He opens the door and I see Tuna sitting there.
'Run for the oak!' Tuna tells me. I obey his command, and make a dash for the yard. Hey, I figure I can't be in any more trouble with Randy than I already am.
Unfortunately Randy anticipates this move and starts to close the door and inadvertently slams it shut with my hind quarters in it.
I let out an otherworldly yowl. Randy wrenches the door open and repeats some of the words I said to Him earlier, though in this case, they're not meant as insults.
He yells for His mom and keeps repeating one of those words over and over again. I turn around and give my body a once over. I'm not missing any important equipment that wasn't missing before, so I get up to head for the tree.
With each step I take, a wave of searing pain shoots up both of my hind legs. I ignore it and keep running.
One of the men by the tree starts up a chainsaw. I increase my pace despite the pain.
The man lifts the chainsaw up to the oak. I'm not going to make it.
Just when it seems all hope is lost, I see a grey blur go flying by me and start rubbing up against the chainsaw man's legs. The man kicks at him, but this doesn't deter Tuna any. Tuna jumps up onto the man's leg and starts swiping at the man's…tools, shall we say.
Through all of this, I keep going and finally make it. I come to a stop right where the tree is set to fall.
The man gets Tuna off, and starts to cut through the tree. He doesn't hear the humans' shouts to stop over the noise of the chainsaw.
Everything seems to happen in slow motion. Randy's dad is running over to stop the chainsaw man. Tuna comes running to push/drag/knock me out of the way of the falling tree, Randy comes running to get Tuna and me out of the way, Randy's mom goes running after Him. The tree starts to tilt. The man doesn't see Tim. Tuna, Randy, and Jill are all getting closer.
'MOVE!' screams Tuna as he gets closer. Not a chance in hell, not if it means this tree is coming down.
'Anders!' Randy calls, hoping I'll coming running. (Little does he know that's not possible.)
'Randy!' Jill yells. Then 'Tim! Do something!'
Tuna gets here and clamps his teeth around my collar and starts pulling. I pull back.
The tree is tipping worse now. Tim managed to get the chainsaw man's attention, but it's too late. The massive oak is going to come crashing down any second, right on top of me.
'Save yourself!' I yell to Tuna.
How does that one prayer go? Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our de-
My prayer is interrupted by Randy sliding in, baseball style, grabbing me and Tuna up in his arms, and rolling over about eight inches away from where the tree landed. As the oak lands, birds and other creatures of all sorts coming flying or crawling out.
"Praise be to God!" I think once my heart rate returns from the stratosphere and my bladder is emptied about twenty times. (Now I know what it's like to have the piss scared out of me. It's some phrase Mom used to use a lot).
Speaking of piss, I look down at Randy's shirt. Oh great, that's just going to top off His day. Now I'll really be dead meat. He sees me looking down.
'Don't worry about it. It's you two I was concerned about, not my shirt' He says between gasps for air.
'Now can you see why I didn't want you to be out here?' He asks me, still gasping. I blink once in response. (Anyone who has ever had a cat knows this means yes).
'Oh God. Oh God. I don't feel so good' Randy gasps. Jill gets over here in just enough time to hear Randy say that.
'Tim! Call 911! I think Randy's having an asthma attack!' Jill yells.
A/N: I hope everybody had as much fun reading this chapter as I did writing it.
Thanks for reading.
-Yours truly, Randy Taylor