Really weird fic idea I had and will not go away, don't know why I am posting this since god knows I have waaaaayyyyy too many other fics to work on. But still hopefully because I write this the idea will leave, unless people want me to continue. You can tell me if you want me to continue by setting an alert, fav, or review. Still if this is made into a full out fanfic story please be warned as thorough unpleasantness lies ahead, future warnings will be posted if I do decide to make this into a story. But this is like a prologue, with that said I'll stop talking and just let you read it for yourselves. Thank you for your time. (P.s this is from Gaara's P.O.V)


Sometimes I wonder is there is a god. If there is a god why did my mother have to die? Why did my father have to drink to fill the emptiness? Why does my family have to suffer in such a way? If there is a god he must have a real fun time screwing around with me.

Things weren't always bad; right up until my mother died I actually had a family, now its nothing but broken bits. We are like strangers forced to live under the same roof, like the real world, only much worse. My sister Temari is hardly ever around, she's now partly living with her current boyfriend and comes only to visit and get more of her things. Father is just as scarce, only he just goes to work then the bar, and comes home drunk to beat the shit out of my brother. And my brother, my brother Kankuro, he's the only person I have left to hold onto, barely fifth teen and trying so hard to take care of me. When father comes home in a drunken rage he normally shoves me into a closet or hides me someplace, we both know that it doesn't matter to father who he beats just as long as he hits someone. I've only been beaten once and only once, Kankuro takes the beatings trying to protect me. I tell him to worry about himself and not me, but he merely shakes his head and just continues, I worry about him though. When father first started drinking and beating him for a while Kankuro went mute, and when he finally started to talk again there were several slashes on his arms and wrists. I'm so worried that he'll accidentally kill himself, but he tries so hard to act normal and say that I don't need to worry.

As of now though we're both sitting on his bed and Kankuro is trying to help me out with my math homework, sad thing is we both don't seem to have the brains for math. Science, history, English, we get those easily, and math is like a foreign language from outer space or something. His room is small and bland the carpet has some blood stains on it, the only thing that shows any part of his personality is the drawings he has on the wall, he draws and paints, I write. I hear a car pull into the driveway. So does he, next thing I know my brother jumps up from the bed and pulls me off to shove me into his closet. I trip slightly as I'm thrown in but I understand the urgency and state of panic he's in. Not two seconds later I hear the bastard's footsteps climb up the stairs and slam the door open, then he yells in a drunken slur,

"You worthless fuck, where the hell is your sister?"

"She hasn't come home yet." Kankuro answers. I can't see but I can clearly hear them thought the door.

"Oh really," he pauses and then snarls, "What the fuck are you looking at me like that for? Don't you dare look at me that way boy!" the next thing I hear is my brother's startled yelp as he is hit by something and falls down. I cringe from my hiding place and pray it ends quickly.

Father shouts and curses some more, then I hear glass shattering, he probably threw an empty sake bottle at Kankuro again, Kankuro is silent, knowing that as long as he doesn't provoke the older man he'll leave quickly. Unfortunately it doesn't work as the only sounds I hear for the next five minutes is nothing but the sounds of punches and kicks, groans of pain and swearing continue. Once father has gotten tired of abusing his son for the moment he swears,

"Now get up you dumb piece of shit, and clean up this mess…" he walks out slamming the door behind him, as soon as he is gone I bolt out of my hiding place and too my older brother's side. He's face down on the carpet, turning him onto his back I see what injuries he now has, his nose is pouring out blood, and the same crimson liquid is dripping out of the corners of his mouth. Glancing to the side I see my math textbook on the floor, most likely the object father first threw at him, pieces of broken glass is everywhere on the floor, a glass piece is sticking out of a deep cut on his arm, another piece scratched his cheek, and I can only guess how many bruises he'll have in the morning. Despite the obvious pain Kankuro is in, he smiles weakly at me and whispers,

"Gaara, you go and hide, I'll get this cleaned up, just you hide and don't let him see you, okay?" I shake my head no, but his dark green eyes are pleading and finally I reply,

"Okay, I will, just please be careful aniki."

I help him get to his feet and he hugs me tightly in an act of reassurance. I then glance back as I leave his room, his smile has faltered and eyes are now dull and clouded over in pain. It's on nights like these as I hide underneath my bed that I believe that there is no such thing as 'god'.