This has been in the works a while...I must apologize for my friend for being so slow. Done as a gift for my friend for being the awesome person she is. She loves Roy/Riza and told me to use the word "watermelon". Dedicated to her. (She knows who she is. ;D) With my love, here you go!
"Yes, sir?" asked Riza Hawkeye, standing up from her seat at the little round table to face her commanding officer, Colonel Roy Mustang.
"I need you to buy me a watermelon," Roy said, giving her a serious look.
Roy nodded. "Yes."
"My I ask why you need a watermelon, sir?" Riza Hawkeye had spent many years with this particular group of the military, and she was pretty well accustomed to their rapid mood changes and, well, downright wackiness. And as random as they could be, this sudden request for a watermelon was odd, even for Roy Mustang.
"I am simply craving a watermelon for tonight," he said, shrugging slightly. "Do you think you could pick me up one?"
"She won't be able too find one," said Edward Elric, who had just stridden into the room and plopped down on the couch.
"Fullmetal?" asked Roy, giving the boy a hard look. What business did he have butting into this important conversation with his Lieutenant?
"The out of season," Ed supplied. "I sent Al out to look for one the other night. He couldn't find one," he said, looking purposefully over his shoulder at his little brother Alphonse.
"Don't blame me, Brother!" Al exclaimed, stamping his foot. The stamping of his foot was more significant than it would have been if someone else had done it, since Al was actually a giant suit of armor, and, as giant suits of armor weigh quite a lot, his stamp rattled the room, and Roy had to quickly grab much of the stuff decorating his desk lest it all fall to the floor. And knowing his group of subordinates, it wasn't likely to ever get cleaned up if that happened. Although perhaps Hawkeye would do it. After she returned from getting him a watermelon of course.
"It's not my fault watermelons don't grow well in February!" Al continued.
Ed rolled his eyes. "There had to be at least one watermelon is some store," he said.
"There wasn't!" Al insisted.
The bickering brothers had been commanding the attention of everyone for quite a while, and Roy though he'd best bring the attention back to his lack of watermelon. "Lieutenant," he said.
Hawkeye turned from the Elrics to face him without missing a beat. "Sir?" she replied.
"Will you please go buy me a watermelon now?" he asked.
"I would, sir," Riza said, glancing towards the Elric brothers briefly, "but I am inclined to believe Alphonse when he says that none of the stores in town have a watermelon in stock."
"See, Brother?" Al exclaimed, pointing towards Riza. "The Lieutenant believes me! I don't understand why you don't."
Ed rolled his eyes. "I just find it hard to believe that no one has any watermelons! Even if they are out of season! There has to be one around!"
"I went to all the stores in town, and there wasn't a single watermelon!" Al said again.
Ed rolled his eyes.
"Just because you can conjure up mostly anything you need whenever you need it with alchemy, Brother, doesn't mean everybody else can."
"Ew, Al, I don't even want to try and transmute a watermelon."
"You're missing my point, Brother," Al said.
"Lieutenant?" Roy asked again. "Would you please just go look for a watermelon? And, if you happen to find two, would you please pick one up for Fullmetal?"
"Yes, sir," agreed Hawkeye, giving a short bow and then exiting the office.
The bickering Elrics brothers paid this no notice, as they continued to argue.
Roy sighed and rubbed his temples. Now the rest of his subordinates were taking sides in the brother's argument. Well, he thought to himself, might as well join in as well.
Riza Hawkeye returned to her office two hours later (two watermelons in hand) to find it in its usual chaos.
"Sir?" she addressed Roy Mustang, who was currently shouting his head off along with the rest of their team and Edward and Alphonse Elric.
"Sir?" she repeated, a bit louder this time.
The men continued to shout at eachother.
"Sir?!" she shouted.
When she again received no response she took out her gun and fired.
Dead silence followed as all six men stared at the smoking hole that was new to the wall.
"Welcome back, Lieutenant," Roy finally said, turning around.
"Watermelon!" Ed exclaimed a split second later.
Riza sighed and held out one of the bags. "This one's for you, Edward."
The boy's face lit up.
"Say thank you, brother," Al reminded him.
Ed glared back (and much to his chagrin, up) at his younger brother. "Thank you," he said to Riza.
She nodded at him.
Ed grinned. "Hey, Al, I thought you said that no one had any watermelons in stock!" He waved the bag in Al's face.
Al crossed his arm. "Well I couldn't find any!" he insisted.
"You couldn't have found these, Al," Riza interjected. They didn't need another argument right now. There would definitely be one tomorrow anyway.
"Why?" asked Al politely.
"Because I had to go to the military storehouse to get them," she said.
Ed folded his arms and huffed. "Then I could have gotten them!"
"Yes, you could have!" Al exclaimed. "But you sent me! And I'm not part of the military!"
"And we're keeping it that way," Ed growled.
"I couldn't pass the physical exam anyway, brother."
Riza sighed and sat down at the desk. Clearly this would be one if the days where she'd just have to wait for the argument to exhaust itself.
Roy snuck over to Riza and over the noise of the argument said, "Come over to my house after work." He winked.
Riza Hawkeye was a good, loyal soldier. She always did what her commanding officer told her. So, later that evening, he knocked on the door of Roy Mustang's apartment. Roy answered the door with a smile.
"Good evening," he said, stepping to the side to allow Riza entrance.
"Good evening," she replied. "So," she said once Roy had settled back into his couch, "are you going to tell me what the whole ordeal with the watermelon was, sir?"
Roy pouted at her. "Don't call me 'sir' when we're alone," he whined.
Riza rolled her eyes. "You're changing the subject," she pointed out.
Roy grinned at her sheepishly. "Isn't watermelon you're favorite fruit?"
"Yes," Riza said. She had no idea where this was going.
Roy gestured his hand to his kitchen. "I've prepared all your favorite watermelon dishes," he grinned.
Riza followed him into the kitchen to eat. It really was a sweet, romantic thought, but hopefully next time she wouldn't have to go out and get the watermelon herself.
That was really fun to write! I think I'll write more FMA fics soon...what a fun bunch of characters to write! Reviews please?