Sorry for the wait, there. I got a little distracted by somebody. ^^ Turns out has helped me to find a new Near! We've been doing some new role-plays, all just for fun and practice, of course... unless she actually plans on making them into fics like she keeps threatening to... O.;; But, we'll see. In any case, not only did she beta this chapter for me, but she also is considering helping me to finish this fic by role-playing as Near, for me, and picking up the story where my old Near left off.
This is pretty good news for Miserable, and I know this update was slow, but I intend to continue updating, even if the periods in between are as large as this last one. I'm more of a writing when I'm in the mood, kind of person, so you all should expect very unevenly spaced chapter updates, though. So who knows when!
On with the chapter.
Credit to Liz
& the magical 'I don't own Death Note' Disclaimer.
Mello was ready seconds before Near climaxed, and braced himself for it by stopping his breath, which had been growing steadily heavier up until that point, so that he could listen to the sound of the paler boy reaching release, and the deep panting that he knew would follow. Just the sound of Near yelling as he hit his sweet spot was enough to satisfy Mello's cravings, and watching the albino fall backwards to the ground and utter his name ever so softly as no more than a desperate sounding whisper, was too precious to the blonde that had never seen his rival's emotional side, before. Near was in a euphoria, having reached a pleasure he would never have dreamed possible, and he had achieved it at the hands of the one who hated him more than any other, the one he'd been trained to surpass. Mello loved it, but could only take a few moments to savour the indescribable feeling of power that overwhelmed him, as there was still much more work to be done yet.
He still had to crush Near.
Mello released the younger male's privates, that had already begun to sink back into their usual size and pulled his hand out the band of Near's trousers, flicking the traces of white liquid left over from Near's erection casually off his hand, and distancing himself ever-so-slightly from the albino that shivered on the floor below.
He then gave Near a look of absolute loathing.
"I bet you enjoyed that, didn't you? You little brat. I can tell just from the look on your face that you did. I know how unbelievably scared you are right now, scared of what I can do to you, Near." Mello gloated, with a small smirk creeping up from the corners of his mouth, "I can tell what you're thinking; 'Oh no! If he can make me feel that good then he can surely make me feel just as bad.'"
Mello sneered. "You can't hide it from me."
Near didn't have any choice but to listen to Mello's cruel, but true words. He was relaxed and sedated now that his need had been taken care of, and, oh, in what a way it had been, by the hands of his rival, no less.
The albino opened his eyes, staring up at Mello just in time to catch the look of absolute hatred in those clear blue eyes. It made Near flinch, and if looks could kill, the genius knew that he'd be dead that very moment. The words Mello had thrown at him stung a great deal, it was a blow to his pride to see that Mello knew exactly what he was thinking. Near had always made a point of distancing himself from others, keeping the world at a distance, and here Mello was, reading him like a book.
" I-I…" For once, Near didn't have any sort of intelligent remark. Another strategy occurred to the albino, and with no better weapon handy, he settled upon speaking his mind, for once. Perhaps it would throw the other off.
"Your right, Mello. Everything you just said …is correct."
Mello's eyes widened slightly, surprised to hear Near's reply, he'd never expected Near to verbally admit defeat.
Near was a child, both in appearance, and at heart, and children loved to win. Mello would never deny sharing that trait with the despicable albino, but Near was particularly all-knowing in his incredible brilliance and had a knack for always coming out on top, leaving Mello in the dust at every opportunity. The blonde had known this forever. Near never had to say sorry because he'd never needed to. He never slipped up.
'If Near truly is agreeing with me, then I must be doing very well.'
Mello was grinning inwardly, and the thought had briefly crossed his mind that he'd finally won and could now leave this place. Be on his merry way with his pride intact of having royally trounced Near. But then he knew very well that this was not the end. This whole situation hadn't started as some kind of sick game to see who could analyze the other better, or who knew what about whom, no, it was a challenge from Near to make him miserable. And he still had not achieved that. A miserable Near would be a sorry wreck. Crying, whimpering, bleeding, possibly, nothing of which the boy below him was currently exhibiting. This was not over. Not by a long shot.
"So glad to hear you've finally come to terms with your loss by my superior intelligence, Near. Never figured you'd be so weak, so anxious to admit your failure. But everyone is full of surprises. You and I as well."
Mello's hands brushed slowly over the pale skin of the younger boy, skimming the soft and most sensitive areas of his chest before finding the ends of his torn, collared shirt, the white blouse he'd always worn, and took hold of the sleeves and collar, lifting the fabric away from his body, so that Near was shirtless. He carelessly tossed the article, away, to his left, which was far enough away that Near could not grab for it and lowered himself to the body of the shivering boy beneath him, pressing his mouth to the neck of his pale rival before biting the fragile flesh. It was no more than a small nip, unlikely to break the flesh, Mello only wanted to bestow pain on his enemy. The blonde wanted to use sex as a weapon with which he could use to further wound the boy.
"But I think, Near, that I am still in your mind. You've attempted to expel me from the thoughts I've been so perfectly foretelling, but have failed miserably. I'm betting that, by admitting defeat, you were hoping to dissuade me from continuing this, so I'd revel in my victory and leave you here, to regain your composure. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen, little Near, because I am clearly not as stupid as you must think I am. I promised you misery, and misery you shall have."
Near wasn't too surprised when Mello instantly saw through his lie. That he would admit his "defeat" so quickly was absurd, but it something completely out of the blue that was meant to throw his blonde counterpart off, even if only for a minute. He wondered then why he was letting Mello toy with him like this. Why he was allowing these harsh touches and rough treatments when physical contact alone made him quiver with distaste.
The albino knew he was smart, a genius, he'd been told. So the big question was; Why was he allowing this to happen?
Because Near liked games, even if he wasn't the one playing them.
Right now they were playing a game that Mello created, where he seemed to be nothing more than a toy the blonde was meant to mistreat. It was a dangerous game they were both fixated upon.
Near found himself holding onto Mello's shoulders again, this time more firmly than he had before, noting the fact that his rival still had fabric shielding his upper body, was still completely clothed, and this small fact could be taken as a huge advantage against someone who valued privacy to the extent in which Near did. But, despite this, he couldn't help but grin, if only just slightly.
"Quite the contrary, Mello. I may be weak, physically, but mentally…" Now he was trying to egg the other on. He was trying to play the game. "I'm quite strong, wouldn't you agree? And wouldn't you say that even though you've been dissecting me, Mello, there might have been something you missed? Or that perhaps, I have been displaying for you exactly what I think you want to see, to throw you off."
Mello's perfect teeth clenched at this, his lips pressed hard overtop of them to keep from showing his anger.
"Don't toy with me, Near, you little rat." Mello hissed, his face still hung low at Near's neck, his lips brushing the skin there with every word. "You know fully well I've had you cornered since the beginning of this, you're just trying to psyche me out now that you're afraid I know too much. You're just afraid of losing, because you know I'm going to win."
Mello's fingers skimmed down Near's sides, slowly, teasing the skin as they went. The stopped when they reached the albino's hips where his hands dared to stray beneath the waistband of the white pants once again, but did nothing more than linger there, resting upon the quivering flesh.
"All I know is that you're very weak. You're weak in the heart, being unable to sort out your feelings. You're weak in the body, with your inability to resist my physical advances upon you. And of course, you're weak in your resolve, because you know you enjoyed that hand job earlier a little bit more than you wish you had. There may very well be details about you that I've overlooked, until now, but even you must admit it's impossible to truly understand a complex human being. But, as we covered earlier on in our little 'conversation', I feel that knowing every little piece of what makes you as hate-able as you are is irrelevant when I simply wish to torture you. I don't care what makes you happy or proud, or how to make you feel good in the very least, I'd rather die than learn anything positive about you, in fact. I don't care if you ever feel happy again.
Mello took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool. His overactive emotions were threatening to push him over the edge, as they had done so many times before.
"And as for you offering up what I was looking for, 'putting on a show', as it may seem. I find that highly improbable, because your actions contradict each other in such a way that there could be no other reason behind it than that you were reacting to my movements. The way you begged me to stop when I touched you, how you fussed when you couldn't defend yourself from me, and most importantly, how you moaned with pleasure and cooed my name after you came in my hands. This all simply cannot be a rouse; you're acting far too irrationally for it to be anything besides real emotions."
And there was a long pause, where neither male spoke.
It was all that Near could conjure up, for he was at a loss for words. The blonde's highly motivated and emotional speech had left him without anything to say. Though he had to admit he did enjoy pushing the other into a spiral full of intensity, even if it wasn't in his best interests. The more emotional Mello got, the more likely that he would loose his cool. Thinking irrationally, the blonde may forget his carefully concocted plans. Though it may turn out more violent than Near would have hoped, his challenge now was to throw the blonde off his game, by any means. It was for fun, wasn't it? Weren't all games supposed to be for fun?
"Of course no one could force or fake those reactions to fool you, when everything is physical, the body may take on a mind of it's own. And though your findings may cause you to think your superior in any way, Mello, I think you are contradicting yourself as well. "
Near shivered under Mello's hands, his own moving slightly. They slid further upon his rival's shoulders, almost testing to see how far the other would let him move. He felt it good to know his boundaries.
"When you say you don't care if I ever feel happy again, you must not be fully aware of what sort of emotions that your previous actions have brought out in me. You want to make me feel miserable, which is clearly the opposite of what you suspected I had felt, after my orgasm. If you're trying to hurt me, by giving me pleasure, and are hoping to confuse me with your actions, you are not being quite as careful as perhaps you ought to be. If I truly am enjoying this, which I may very well be, then you are just wasting your time, and all of this is for nothing. Wouldn't that agitate you, Mello? Wouldn't it?
That was it, enough of these gentle touches and soft little strokes, Mello knew now that he certainly couldn't continue with things the way they were going. Near's strength was in deliberation, so by speaking with the boy, he would never win. They could remain locked in emotional combat forever, but Mello knew all he had to do was overpower Near and he'd be leading the competition once again. It was so easy to do, as well. Mello didn't need to reason his way into hurting Near, he just need to handle him roughly. If things continued the way they were going then, he may even lose. Mello knew he had to turn things around, and knew how.
He instantly withdrew his hands from Near's slacks, took Near forcefully by the shoulders and slammed his tiny frame into the floor, he paused an instant before lifting the pale boy from the ground, into the air, so that he could force him down once again, harder than ever before. He could hear the sickening smack of bare skin crashing into the smooth floor. Mello then used the grip he had on Near's shoulders to rattle him ever so slightly, clenching his fingers, delving his nails into the bare skin, hoping to draw blood.
Near couldn't say anything to derail Mello from this rough treatment. The only sounds coming out of his mouth were loud, shrill yelps, in protest of being slammed into the cold, uninviting floor. It made his body ache and his head throb. His back was riddled with stings and aches, but where Mello had left the indentations of his nails was the worst. It burned in such a way that Near thought perhaps his back was on fire. The only comfort he had was that holding onto Mello seemed to ground him, even though his head was spinning.
"You runt! How dare you question me like that so when I am your superior here, don't you belittle me when I can kill you, Near!"
Mello brought up one of his hands to swat away Near's arms, which had managed to keep grip on his shoulders, even after the pale boy's collision with the floor, replacing his hand, upon the albino's shoulder, moments after.
"And don't you ever touch me, you understand?!"
Even though the pain was doing a great deal to cloud Near's mind, some thoughts snuck in through the mist. Mello had just told him not to touch him, did that mean Mello had qualms with physical contact, just as Near himself did?
No… Certainly not.
He was sure Mello had plenty of physical contact before, being the sociable person he was, but to be touched by someone that the blond loathed so very much. It must have disturbed him, if even a little bit.
This sort of violent treatment frightened him, but he did hold one comfort. Mello could be a highly unpredictable person, but one thing Near knew he could rely on was the blonde's frequent emotional outbursts. There was a fine line separating a sadistic streak, and the mad desire to win. With Mello, he was sure he would have to be at last somewhat careful that he didn't end up crossing that line.
But, for the time being, he couldn't just let himself be beaten to a pulp, he had to at least /try/ to defend himself.
"You can kill me, Mello. But where is the fun in that? " He whispered, squinting to look up at the other while his head ached. "What would you be without me, Mello? Would you still have the same intensity? And what would you do in your spare time, if you had no one to compete with?"
"I don't fucking need you. Don't you think for one second I need you to function, or that I survive off of our competition. As if my intense hatred of you is the only thing that keeps me alive, don't flatter yourself, Near." Mello spat, still somewhat shaky from his outburst, but finding solace in the fact that he was causing Near pain, watching as the other boy struggled to reason with him.
"Without your pitiful existence leaking into my happy thoughts, I'd be able to pursue my dreams properly, I'd never have to share the spot light, or give it up altogether, not ever again. If you didn't exist I'd have one less thing standing in my way, I wouldn't need a goal because, without you to hold me back, my possibilities would be endless. If I ended your meaningless existence right here and now it wouldn't change a damn thing. I can capture Kira without you. In fact, you're not even needed. I could kill you right here and now and never have to hear your snarky little comments ever again. The world would be a damn happier place without you, I'm sure."
Near had to look the least bit smug, because while Mello was expressing his utter distaste and his disbelief, Near knew that part of it was, in some small way, untrue. The way that he had affected Mello's life had not been crucial, or at least, that was how it seemed, but one thing the albino genius knew for certain was that, had he not had an influence on the male hovering over him, upon their earlier years together, then Mello would have ended up an entirely different person than he was at that moment. For the better or for worse, Near couldn't say, but it would've been a significant change, without a doubt. And Near knew that he was, indeed, grateful for Mello's presence in his life. The blonde was someone he had used to test his various theories upon, in the past, and also someone he has observed on many occasions, for his own reasons. He also loved their competition, he thrived for it, and although their relationship may have been considered anything but 'nice' he still relied upon the blonde, just as he knew Mello must have upon him, in order to shape the person he had become.
As for Mello being able to catch Kira by himself, Near wasn't even going to breach that. He wasn't going to tell him that he would surely fail, Like L did, because of his raw emotion and bold moves.
The albino would have liked to have responded to his rival's rant. To prod some more on the subject in order to greater satisfy his longing to see Mello's reactions, but, the blonde was growing constantly closer to him, and had a strange, almost lusty look in his eyes.
Keeping one of his hands on Near's shoulder blade, his grip tightening with each word muttered, Mello brought the other up to Near's face, cupping his chin and cradling it close to the blonde's mouth. He moved forwards with hungry lips and, instead of bestowing a sweet kiss, upon the other boy's lips, as the action may have implied, his teeth clamped over the lower of Near's lips, tugging on it, and forced his tongue down the throat of the paler boy.
'But I can't kill you yet... I need to enjoy this more... to hurt you more... to make you miserable.'
And then it happened, a first in Near's books. It was rough, painful because of the bite, and uncomfortable because of the tongue in his throat. Near gagged on it, and lifted his small hands to push against Mello's shoulders, his muffled sounds of protests echoing loudly in the empty room.
It was his first kiss. Why, where else would he have received one before that moment? He'd never even come close to experiencing the intimate situation he was in, at that moment, with his rival, before now. However, this was definitely not how Near had hoped his very first kiss, usually a momentous occasion, would be.
To hear Near choke on his tongue like that only made Mello want more, to go deeper. And so he did, one hand still holding up the pale boy's face to his, and the other keeping Near on the floor, by his shoulder. He could feel the white-clad boy below wrestling, feebly, to fend him off, and Mello had to admit that it was a slight nuisance, Near was resisting more defiantly this time, and that /definitely/ meant he was angering the boy, but still, Near wasn't strong enough to make Mello worry.
He stopped quite suddenly after the rough kiss, and then slowly pulled out of Near's mouth, flashing him a smug smiled before laying his face back down on the spot it had occupied earlier, on Near's neck. The hand that had been holding Near's chin finally released it. Mello understood now how well he had it, in this little 'game' between himself and his rival. If Near had been allowed to speak and protest openly, he would never have been able to match the younger boy's brilliance, no one could, it was simply impossible. Mello knew well that to attack Near in that area was foolish because he should work hard to avoid Near's strengths, and in order to win in this game Mello had to play by his own means, with his own strengths.
Near was slightly grateful when Mello finally ended the kiss, having decided that he'd found his first kiss to be a rather unpleasant experience. It was nothing like he'd expected. Research told him that, generally, a kiss was not the overly-romanticized, five-minute-long smooch displayed in most Hollywood chick flicks, but it was instead supposed to be something that felt good, a romantic and kind gesture from one individual to another, a way of sharing one's genuine feelings, and not at all like the distasteful one he'd just has forced upon him.
'Then again...' Mello thought to himself as one of his legs, that had been up until this point, doing very little other than supporting his weight, began to shift, rising upwards to hook the tips of his toes in the waistband of both Near's white trousers, and underwear, which by sheer luck had also been snagged. In a sweeping movement, as fast as the blink of an eye, Mello straightened his leg, which toe away Near's last remaining clothes, kicking the pile of white garments away with one well aimed jab, and growled a laugh into Near's ear. '...I don't have to rule out my mental abilities as a weapon. They've done rather well up to this point. I just need to break him a little more, put him on the edge. Then, once he's been destroyed, I'll have no problem winning.'
"Is it cold in here?"
Suddenly the albino felt a cold rush of air invading his most intimate areas and immediately realized what had just happened. All of a sudden, Near felt vulnerable, exposed to the world with nothing to hide behind. He hated that feeling of overwhelming weakness. So Near, with his eyes wide and trembling, doubled his efforts to keep Mello away, even if he unconsciously knew that it would be in vain
"Don't do that! Give those back--!!"
Severe Cabbage: Hehhh… yeah. Poor little Near. X3 I was so afraid, after having read over that chapter, that it was going to seem that the competition had shifted far too much to Mello's side. I mean, I wouldn't want to throw off the balance, and should Near really be losing so much all of a sudden? LOL, but, of course, then I remembered all the dumb ass stuff Mello does later to make himself totally phail next to Near. It's hilarious, actually! I love role-playing Mello, my favourite parts of the writing is when I get to make him get angrier, angrier, angrier, and then explode, usually exploding on himself, also. It's too much fun!
And thanks for the head's-up. Gods, my spelling must really be becoming a problem… ^^;; I will proof-read SO hard this time!
Forbiddensoul562:You know, you're right, at this point, 'Miserable' is very similar to 'Obey Me', but, if you think about it, we wrote this stage of the role-play waaay before that fic came out. More than a year ago, like, a year and a half ago. And don't worry, I assure you this fic isn't the same, not AT ALL.
You actually have a really interesting idea there, and I could totally work with it, but Mello was this wicked ass speech coming up that I worked so hard on back then and I just HAFF to use it. Oh, wait… I've already posted it… HEH. Well then you know. X] And, really, Mello hasn't broken Near. Not yet.
Surprisingly enough, I checked up on your spelling recommendations, and, according to my version of word, which is the Canadian version, just so you know, in case that changes anything, apparently the proper word actually is 'inexistent' and not 'unexistent'! Still, you were right on 'thy', though. Except you said it was 'theigh' not 'thigh' as my spellchecker says it is. But, that's fine, really, thank you for pointing them out for me. I really appreciate it.
And, thanks. I'm glad to see you're enjoying it. X] I knows I am.
Aiyana: Thank you very much! I'm sorry to hear about your surprisingly similar situation, what with the loss of your friend. ^^;; It's good to see you're not too choked up over it. And thank you very much, I fancy myself a pretty good Mello role-player. However, there IS always room for improvement.
Joygasmss.; LOL I'm glad to hear you like it! I'm sure I will. X3
UPs to ForbiddenSoul562 for beta-ing. 3