Title: Long Walk Home
Pairing: Goren & Eames
Summary: Post episode fanfic for Blindspot. Bobby has to help Alex take that first step back into her home, and into his heart.
Alex looked up at her house. Not her home. Not anymore. Not when the monsters from outside got inside. Took away her self-awareness and took away her gut. She did not know how she would feel coming back to this place after only being away a few days. Her hands shook in her pockets as she stood beside her partner.
He was speaking to her, but she did not hear him. When he lightly touched her arm, she jumped giving away her most intimate fears.
"I'm sorry, Eames…I didn't mean to…" he began.
She put up her hand, shaking her head. "No, no, Bobby…it's okay."
Bobby studied her for a long moment before speaking softly. "You don't have to stay here tonight. My place is always open." He looked away, unable to meet her eyes. Afraid she would see just how much almost losing her had opened his eyes.
Alex took a deep breath and shook her head. "I have to stay here, Bobby. I refuse to let Jo Gage win." She moved quickly up the steps, afraid of losing her nerve, and tried to shove the key into the lock. It did not fit. She looked back at Bobby.
He quickly pulled out a new set of keys. "We had to...uh...replace your door." He had not told her the whole story of the events of searching her house. He slipped the key into the lock, turning it so that the door swung inward. He placed his hand on the small of her back, gently coaxing her inside. When she did not move, he said softly, "Lets...take a walk..."
She nodded and watched him re-lock the door. She met his eyes. "You probably think that...I'm crazy."
Bobby raised his hand and touched her cheek. He insisted, "You...could never be crazy, Eames...Alex." He pulled his hand away only to find hers wrap tightly around his.
"Hold my hand..." she said quietly, never losing eye contact. "I just need to..."
"...feel connected," he finished for her. When she nodded, he slowly moved down the steps with her. "I'll do whatever...you need." His voice caught in his throat as his hand tightened in hers.
They walked several blocks from her house. With each step, she felt more at ease. She bit her lip, unable to broach the subject of her fears with the man that she had trusted with her life for the past six years. She swallowed hard. "I can breathe now..."
He glanced over at her. "Talking about it...helps."
She nodded. "I have an appointment with Olivet...on Monday."
"She's good." He did not look at her this time. He knew how hard this was for her, and he needed her to talk to him. To share this with him. He was to blame for it, after all.
"That's what Logan said."
"Logan?" Bobby asked quietly.
"He stopped by the hospital...yesterday." Alex stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. His hand was not enough. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and just get lost in his warmth.
He stopped in front of a park bench and gestured for her to sit. They sat down together, hand in hand. She scooted closer to him. He did not pull away. "Eames..."
Alex whispered, "Alex...I like it when you call me Alex..."
He almost smiled. "Alex..." The name slipped so easily from his mouth. "They weren't always like that..." he started.
She put up her hand and shook her head. "Please...don't do this..." she asked quietly. She did not need him to apologize for Jo Gage. And certainly not for Declan.
He was instantly silent. He did not want to hurt her. Not now, not after everything. He stared out across the park, watching a man play with his Dalmatian. He felt her hand tighten in his and glanced over at her. Their eyes met and he whispered, "I've never been so scared in my life."
She nodded. "That's...what kept me going, Bobby, knowing that you wouldn't give up. That if...I couldn't save myself. That...that you would."
He shook his head, beginning to protest. "I..."
Her finger was on his lips. "Just...sit here with me and hold my hand."
He nodded slowly and looked back at the dog chasing the ball. "Your...Polly, we never found Polly."
Alex closed her eyes as the tears began to fall slowly. The bird was a gift from Ethan, her nephew. She started to pull her hand away, but he refused to let it go. Afraid he would lose her if he did.
He slowly pulled her into his arms and let her cry. He soothingly rubbed her back, moving his mouth to her temple. He kissed it gently. "I know, Alex...I know..."
When she was all cried out, she remained wrapped in his arms. She loved the feel of his arms tight around her.
He whispered, "Let me take you home."
She nodded slowly, and they stood together. Moving back in the direction of her place, she was growing restless. He assured her, "I'm going to be with you every step of the way..."
She admitted softly, "That's the only thing allowing me to put one foot in front of the other." Her hand gently squeezed his.
He let her move along at her own pace until they were once again standing on the open threshold of her doorway. He would not push her, but they both knew she had to do this. And do it soon. "Would it help...if I were already inside?"
She looked at him, meeting his eyes. She truly saw it for the first time; he would do just about anything for her. And she loved him for it. She took a slow, hesitant step inside the door. The first step was the hardest, and after that, the second came easier. She was standing right where it had happened. She trembled slightly, missing his steadying hand in hers. She glanced back, seeking him.
He assured her, "You've made...your long walk home, Eam...Alex." He saw it in her eyes in that moment. She was truly going to be okay now. She was going to be his Eames again, and he was not going to take her for granted ever again.