Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. That honor belongs to Ms. Meyer. I am just borrowing them for our amusement.
"Edward…please?" I moaned as he pulled away from me, as was typical when we were kissing. It was inevitable. This time, I had made the mistake of licking his lower lip with my tongue as we kissed. I needed him so much and though I tried to be understanding of his fears and his limited self-control, it did nothing to alleviate the urges I had building inside me every time we kissed.
"You know we can't, love. It's too dangerous." Edward sighed as he pressed one last chaste kiss to my lips before releasing me and getting off the bed. "Besides, Alice will undoubtedly burst through the door any second if I don't leave now. We're not going far to hunt, I'll be back by morning. You won't even have time to miss me. Now go back to sleep. If you wake up before I get back, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper will all be around." He leaned over to kiss my forehead and the next instant he was gone.
I flung myself back against the pillows and groaned in frustration. Doesn't he know what he does to me when he kisses my wrist, my neck, my ear, my collar bone? It drove me mad with desire for him, made me feel as though the very core of my being was going to catch fire. I wished he wouldn't be so careful all the time, that he would do something to release this almost painful craving within me.
Just then the door opened and closed again. For a split second I thought Edward may have changed his mind but when I opened my eyes, I realized it was an entirely different vampire standing inside the door. "Jasper? What are you doing in here?"
"Bella, can we talk for a minute?" Jasper pleaded, his voice barely a whisper.
"Oh, of course," I replied hesitantly. "What's wrong?"
Without a word Jasper walked over to Edward's sound system, put in a CD, and turned the volume up a little louder than necessary. He then came to sit on the side of the bed by me. Instinctively, I drew the covers a little tighter around me.
"There's no need to be nervous, Bella. I won't hurt you. In fact, I want to help you. I NEED to help you." His voice was still barely above a whisper and sounded so desperate it confused me.
"I don't understand, Jasper. Is something wrong? Has Alice had a vision?"
Jasper laughed nervously. "No, Alice hasn't had a vision. And I pray to God she doesn't." Huh? "Bella, you know that I have the ability to project and manipulate emotions, correct?" I nodded silently. "Do you also know that I absorb other people's emotions, feel them as though they were my own?" Again, I nodded. "Good. So could you possibly understand how the intensity of yours and Edward's feelings for each other might be rather difficult for me?" His eyes pleaded with me to understand.
"How could our love for each other make you uncomfortable? I mean, you love Alice just as strongly, right?"
"Yes, I do," Jasper sighed, as though he were hoping to not have to explain. "But I didn't mean your love, I meant your lust. I know exactly how aroused you are right now, how frustrated you are that Edward is unwilling or unable to satisfy your needs. I also know that he feels the same desire you do, but for him the overpowering emotion is always fear. He really holds back purely out of fear of hurting you, although both Carlisle and I have tried to convince him that wouldn't happen. Regardless, the end result is an unending sexual tension that is about to drive you insane, if it doesn't drive me insane first."
My face flushed with embarrassment, and I pulled my knees against my chest to hide my face in them. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. I had no idea. I don't have to stay here anymore, I'll just have Edward come to Charlie's with me, it's just that I love you all so much and…" I was babbling and I knew it. Thankfully Jasper cut me off before it got worse.
"No Bella, that's not what I meant. We all love you too and I would never ask you to leave. I simply meant that perhaps you would allow me to…alleviate…some of the pressure you're feeling. Give you a release, so to speak." He said it so softly I could barely believe what I was hearing.
"WHAT?! Are you out of your mind, Jasper? Are you honestly proposing that I sleep with you? I would NEVER do that! I love Edward! And how could you? You love Alice!" My head shot up to glare at him, but he simply put a finger to his lips in a silent plea for me to lower my voice.
"Rosalie and Emmett are…otherwise engaged…which is definitely NOT helping how I'm feeling right now, by the way…so they will not be easily distracted but they will most certainly notice if you continue shouting. And for the record, I KNOW how much you love Edward. As much if not more than I love Alice. But as I said before, I am not talking about love, but lust. Trust the empath when I tell you they do not always keep the same company."
"They do for me." I whispered back, only slightly calmer.
He seemed to ponder this for a moment before speaking again. "I can see where that may be the case for you. So let me propose something else. It's actually something I asked Alice to do for you some time ago but she said you would not be receptive to it coming from her. Allow me to…teach you to relieve the pressure yourself. Believe me, we would both feel immensely better if you did."
I put my head back between my knees. This could not be happening. "Oh. My. God. Does Alice know you're here?" My head was swirling with the onslaught of thoughts in my head, each one worse than the last.
"No, my decision to come speak to you was rather last minute, and while she is on the hunt, she gives herself over to her instincts and her visions tend to take a back burner. I am hopeful that if we conclude our lesson by morning, she may never be aware of it."
Jasper tentatively reached out and touched my elbow, cupping it in his hand and rubbing my forearm gently with his thumb. "It's nothing to be ashamed of Bella. You have needs, it's perfectly natural. I promise I will be as much of a gentleman as the situation will allow. You would not have to expose yourself at all, and I will not touch you, unless of course you asked me to," he said with a nervous chuckle. I moaned and hid my face further behind my hair, but he reached out and tucked it behind my ear. "I'm sorry, I was only teasing. This is rather embarrassing for me too, you know. I wouldn't ask if I thought there was any other way. But I can't take it anymore, Bella, I just can't. Help me, please. Will you let me teach you?"
I sat there silently contemplating his words. I could not deny the truth in them. I had a burning desire that was getting worse with every passing day, and no real way to release it. I was making Edward's life increasingly difficult with my attempts to push his boundaries, and apparently I was making Jasper's life increasingly difficult as well with these consuming emotions. But I had no idea what to do with them. I was sure that they taught...masturbation…in sex ed at school but I blocked it out. It was just too embarrassing. So if it was too embarrassing to watch on some educational video at school, could I really attempt to do it myself, and in front of Jasper, no less? On the other hand, I had to admit that he most certainly had enough experience to be able to talk me through it, he did promise to be honorable, and it would help everyone involved. With great trepidation, I slowly nodded my head.
"Okay," he stated, much calmer than I expected, moving to the foot of the bed as far away from me as possible. He leaned back on the footboard, one leg folded up under him, the other dangling off the edge. "Do you have a bra on, Bella?" I nodded my head yet again, unable to speak or make eye contact. "Take it off," he commanded gently.
"But you said I didn't have to get naked…"
"Bella, please trust me. Don't you know how to take a bra off without removing your shirt? I thought they taught every girl how to do that in eighth grade or something. Take it off."
I did as I was told, and tossed my pale pink bra onto the floor by the side of the bed. "Pink, huh? I never would've guessed…" his voice drifted off.
"Jas-per." I cried.
"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry." His voice sounded totally sincere. "Now, lay back on the bed. Good. Close your eyes and put your hands on your stomach. Feel how soft your skin feels there for a moment." His voice was authoritative, almost academic. No sign of underlying emotion at all. It made it easier to do as he asked, focusing only on his words. I tentatively reached my arms under the blankets and lifted my t-shirt just enough to lay my hands on my stomach. Jasper was right, I never realized that my skin was so soft there. I began lightly running my fingers back and forth across my stomach just above the waistband of my pajama bottoms, tracing small circles over my skin. It felt amazingly pleasant.
"How does that feel, Bella?" Jasper's silky voice cut into my reverie.
"Good," I admitted timidly.
"I thought so. Now I want you to move your hands slowly upward and lightly caress your breasts. Trace your fingers around your curves." A fresh wave of embarrassment flashed through me.
"I don't want to manipulate your emotions, Bella. I want you to feel for yourself the power you have within you to satisfy your needs. There is no need for you to be embarrassed about touching your own body. Just give in to it."
My hands began to move upwards of their own volition. When I reached the space between my breasts I swept my fingers around the bottom curve outwards toward my sides and then upwards and around, drawing increasingly smaller circles until they lightly caressed my nipples. They immediately hardened in response to the tingling sensation trailing where my fingers roamed.
"Good. Now take one of your nipples in between your thumb and your forefinger. Gently knead it, squeeze it." Jasper's voice, though still authoritative, had taken on a slightly huskier tenor. When I did as he commanded, I felt a rocket of arousal shoot through my body unlike anything I had ever felt before. I became aware of an increasing wetness between my legs, soaking my underwear.
"Does…does that feel good, Bella?" His voice was now strained, barely a whisper in the dark.
"Yes, Jasper. It feels so good. I had no idea this could feel so good." My voice matched the timbre of his.
"Now do the same to the other nipple. Tug on it a little, see if you like that sensation as well." Another bolt of lightening shot through my system as I followed his instructions. My head began to rock back and forth unvoluntarily.
I was suddenly alarmed. "What's wrong?"
"I was so stupid. I should have realized that your arousal would only continue to build, that this would get worse before it got better. I… can't take this." His voice was now pained.
"Do you need me to stop?" I asked, suddenly unsure what to do, propping myself up on my elbows to look at him, his silhouette slumped in the corner, his head hung low. I was so focused on my own pleasure I failed to see how this could distress him. After all, he was feeling everything I was, as well as everything Rosalie and Emmett were feeling across the hall.
"No. You need to do this. We both need for you to do this. It's just…would you mind if…I touched myself? You won't see anything, I promise." Now it was Jasper's turn to be embarrassed. For some reason, the idea of Jasper touching himself while telling me how to do the same only served to increase the ache between my legs.
"Of course not, Jasper," I replied huskily, a mixture of arousal and shyness. "I actually like that idea." I laid back down and clamped my eyes shut. I heard him breathe a sigh of relief and then the quiet sound of a zipper opening.
"Now, where were we? You were squeezing your nipples. Put your finger into your mouth, get it wet, and do it again. A little harder this time."
As I put my forefinger into my mouth and licked my tongue around it, I heard Jasper inhale sharply. "That's it, sweetheart." The kneading sensation on my nipples combined with the now cool moisture was completely different than what it felt like a moment ago, and I liked it even better. I was able to more comfortably move my fingers in a swifter motion and with more pressure. I arched my back into the sensation and began rubbing my thighs together, writhing under my own touch.
"Pull your pajama bottoms off." By this point, all embarrassment had long since left me. All coherent thought had left me. There was only this moment and the sexy commanding voice at the other end of the bed that I could not deny. I took them off easily under the covers and tossed them aside.
"Good girl. Now run your fingers along the outside of your panties over your core." God, I was so wet, my underwear was clinging to me and I could feel my swollen folds throbbing under my touch. I traced a pattern up and down desperately wanting to hear his voice again as the bubble of pressure inside me continued to build.
"Please…Jasper. I need more."
"Take your panties off, Bella." There was no more academia in his voice. It echoed my desire.
I quickly removed my panties, tossing them next to my bra.
"God, Bella. I can smell your arousal from here. You smell delicious. Are you wet for me, darlin'?"
"Yes. So wet."
"That's good, baby. We're almost there. I want you to take a single finger and run it up in between your folds. Slowly. Can you do that for me?"
"Yes," I replied softly as I responded to his request, "Anything you say. Oh God, Jasper!" My hips bucked in the air against my hand as I reached a sensitive spot.
"That's your clit, darlin'. Rub your thumb against it for me. Tell me how it feels."
I did as I was told and was overcome with the sensation, a guttural moan escaping from deep in my throat.
"Tell me, Bella."
"It feels so amazing, Jasper," I moaned.
"I'm glad," he chuckled softly, "It's only going to get better from here. Spread your legs for me. Wide. Take one finger and put it inside you."
I hesitated. Could I really do that? Jasper sensed my doubt. "Just do it, darlin', trust me. Imagine your finger to be what you most desire."
As I slid my finger inside, my body instantly responding to finally being touched in the way it had craved for so long. The warmth, the incredible softness, the tightness around my finger, it felt so good. I moaned again. "Now thrust your finger in and out for me."
I could hear what I could only describe as a rubbing sound in the background and realized that it was Jasper touching himself in sync with the rhythm of my finger. It was such a turn-on, I instantly sped up my thrusts.
"Put a second finger in. Curl them inside you upwards towards your belly button." The increased stretching made it easier to feel every sensation, to feel my palm come in contact with my clit with every thrust causing the most delicious torture I had ever known. Suddenly I touched a spot deep inside me with my fingertips that sent my body flying into the air begging for more. My other hand grabbed the sheets, desperate to hold onto anything to ground me.
"Jasper! Oh Yes!"
"That's it, baby. Again. Harder, Bella." Jasper growled. The next thrust sent me even higher and I completely abandoned myself to the feeling.
"I'm so close, Jasper!"
"Keep thrusting, darlin'. Faster. Rub your clit with your thumb. Squeeze your nipple with your other hand. That's it. Come for me!"
A few more frantic thrusts of my fingers and I tumbled over the edge into the sweetest oblivion I had ever known. At the same moment, I heard Jasper groan with his own release. "Oh Bella!" As the bubble of pleasure dissipated into peaceful satisfaction, I found myself suddenly exhausted and covered in a sheen of sweat. I curled myself into a ball under the blankets and hugged a pillow.
"Thank you, Jasper. So much." I felt the mattress shift as he got up and walked over to me. Surprisingly, he bent down and sweetly kissed my forehead.
"No, sweetheart, thank you. You have no idea how much better I feel."
"Anytime," I mumbled contentedly, unconsciousness overcoming me quickly as Jasper headed for the door.
"I just might have to take you up on that. Sweet dreams, Bella."