Author's Note: Hi! I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update this you guys! I got completely engrossed in the Twilight world and it's been hard to pull myself out. But I am working on this story again and my Twilight story at the same time so I think I have a good balance on it now. :) I hope you all like this chapter. It's very emotional and drama filled, just the way we like it right? Thanks to my amazing beta music-is-love10, Long Live Brucas, HistoryNerd and lizzl0ve for reviewing the last chapter. You all rock my world! Also, thank you to Nicole who read and reviewed The New Girl and seriously, I hope you're reading this Nicole, you made me cry happy tears. Your review was amazing. Thank you so much! On that note, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! :)
Fast or Slow
The room was spinning around me. The sounds of the Las Vegas gambling floor were jubilant, everyone happy as they won money at the poker tables or celebrated an exceptional roll of the dice at craps. My eye's couldn't focus on just one thing at a time. I was seeing double, sometimes triple, and it didn't seem like it was going to clear anytime soon.
"Nathan?" A male voice called out to me and I tried to focus in on the face that went with it, "Nathan, are you okay?"
I found myself blinking repeatedly until finally the face came into focus. Blue eyes, blonde hair and a particularly frustrated frown. The last person in the world I wanted to see at that moment.
"Dude, you don't look so great. Are you here with Savannah?"
I glared at Bryan for mentioning her name. How dare he ask about her? He had just stolen her away from me a few hours before and he was asking me now if I was here WITH her? If I could have remembered how to throw a punch, I would have.
"What the hell do you want?" I managed to ask, not sounding nearly as menacing as I was hoping to sound.
"I recognized you and just wanted to help you out if you needed it." Bryan held up his hands in surrender, "You look like you want to kill me and I assure you, Savannah slapped me hard enough for both of you already so I'll just go my own way."
"Excuse me?" I frowned at him and reached out for his arm to pull him back to face me before he could walk away, stumbling forward a little as I lost my balance, "What did you just say?"
"Savannah slapped me hard enough for both of you?" Bryan stated the previous statement in a question now, his eyes narrowing at me, "How drunk are you?"
"Pretty wasted." I admitted with an internal sigh, "When did she slap you? Last thing I saw you two looked pretty cozy, kissing."
Bryan shook his head at me, his frown deepening.
"I kissed her. She pushed me and then slapped me, hard. It still stings a bit and it's been a few hours so I'm not planning on going back for more. She's made it very clear she despises me and to be honest, I don't blame her. I don't know what I was thinking kissing her like that."
"So she didn't kiss you back?" My head was starting to clear as the drunkenness was replaced with a million other thoughts, "She's not with you right now?"
"Do you see her here?" Bryan motioned around us and there was definitely no supermodel in our midst, "She slapped the shit out of me and then went back into that club while I left. I was embarrassed enough to know when to exit. Did she come here with you? Why isn't she with you now?"
My head was spinning for an entirely different reason now. Sobriety was crashing down on me as I realized what I had done. I had abandoned Savannah when she needed me all because I got jealous, thinking she had kissed Bryan. What the hell was I thinking?
"I gotta find her." I told Bryan simply, brushing past him and heading back towards the club where I had left her hours ago.
I wasn't sure if she would still be there. If I was honest with myself I doubted she would still be at the club but it was the first place I could think to check. My thoughts were still not forming with 100% clarity.
"Hey, I was here earlier with Savannah Carter. Do you remember?" I asked the bouncer at the door, the same one who had let us in, "Is she still here?"
"Naw man." The bouncer shook his head slowly, "She left like an hour ago."
"Do you know where she was going? Was she with anyone?" I had left her alone in Las Vegas, after I had promised I wouldn't do that, and now, whatever happened to her was my fault. I didn't want to think about what could happen. I had to focus first on finding her, and hope that she was okay.
"She was with one of the bartenders, Jason, I think." The bouncer shrugged, "Don't know where they were going though. Sorry, man."
"That's okay. Thank you." I clumsily handed him another tip for the information and then turned away from the club.
I took a few steps and then stopped. I had no idea where else to look for her. She was with a guy. Was she drinking? I would never forgive myself if she was drinking. I was supposed to be there for her. I was supposed to be her support system and I had failed her, horribly. I had to find her.
"Savannah?" I used my room key to let myself into the hotel room we were supposed to have been sharing, "Savannah, are you here?"
I flipped on every light in the suite but she wasn't there and from the looks of the room, she hadn't been there since we had left. I glanced at the clock, 3:00 AM. Where would she be at 3:00 AM?
I reached into my pocket and found my cell phone, immediately feeling stupid. I was looking for a girl who had a perfectly capable method of contact on her. Why hadn't I thought to call her already?
"One new voicemail." I saw on the screen as soon as I had turned on my phone. Maybe the voicemail would be from her, telling me where she was going. I would check that first.
"Nathan, please answer your phone. Call me. I really need you." I heard Savannah on the message and my heart broke. She sounded like she was about to cry, "Please…"
I wanted there to be another voicemail, something telling me where she could be. I was clueless on how to find her other than to try calling her back, and I prayed she would answer her phone.
"Hey, you've reached Savannah. I know you want me, but right now, you can't have me. Leave a message." I groaned in frustration, hanging up without leaving a message.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! I cursed myself as I stood in the empty room, looking around hopelessly. How could I have been so stupid as to walk away from her for one stupid kiss? Sure, as soon as I had seen her and Bryan kissing, the jealousy had flared inside me as I had never felt before, but why hadn't I listened to her when she called? Why hadn't I given her a chance to explain? She had deserved a chance and I had hung up on her, turned off my cell phone, and gotten drunk. I had left her, an innocent baby rabbit, in a city that would prey on her like a hungry wolf. I had fucked up completely and I wouldn't blame her if she never forgave me. I would never forgive myself.
At the door of the hotel suite I heard giggling and the knob of the door jiggled a bit. It sounded like someone was trying to get in and my heart began to thud incredibly loudly. It had to be her.
"Shh!" I watched Savannah stumble into the room in the arms of another man, both clearly intoxicated. His arms were around her waist as she continued to fumble with the room key, laughing loudly despite her attempts to quiet him. When she looked up and saw me, she froze.
"I'm so not into threesomes." The guy muttered as he caught site of me too.
I didn't know what to do. This was much worse then seeing her kiss Bryan but not because of the guy, though I didn't like to think what their intended next step was. No, this was much worse because she was drunk, completely and totally wasted, and it was entirely my fault.
"Savannah, can we talk?" I said quietly, eyeing her and the guy who was still holding her around her waist.
"I thought you were getting your own room." She hissed at me angrily, letting the door to the room shut quietly behind her, locking with a final click, "What are you doing in mine?"
"I just want to talk to you." I repeated my request, "Please?"
"Well, I wanted to talk to you a couple hours ago but you weren't exactly receptive to that idea were you?" She retorted, stumbling a few more steps forward before she gave up and removed the stiletto heels from her feet, tossing them to the side, "No, you can leave."
"Savannah, I'm so sorry."
"Dude, she said you can go." The guy she had brought in with her took a few steps forward, finally releasing his grip from around her waist. He was trying to be menacing but in his drunken state, he would hardly be a match for me.
I didn't want to fight him. I just wanted to talk to Savannah.
"Dude, you don't even know her so how about you leave?" I took a couple steps toward him as well, hoping he would back off.
"It's not worth it Jason." Savannah sighed, reaching out and grabbing "Jason" by his hand, "Just go okay? I can handle this."
Jason turned to her and they had a very quiet, albeit predictable argument between themselves. He knew that if he left he wouldn't get laid, which is exactly what I was trying to prevent. This worked well for me.
"I'll call you." Savannah lied expertly, or at least I hoped she was lying, "Just go."
Jason glared at me but headed for the door. He cast one more hopeful glance at Savannah then reached for the handle of the door and left. The door clicked shut once more with a menacing tone of both dread and guilt as Savannah turned to face me, the tension in the air getting heavy as I realized the conversation between us wasn't going to be easy.
Savannah supported herself by leaning against the wall nearest her. Her eyes fluttered every few seconds, as if she was very dizzy. I wanted to pull her into my arms to help her but I knew she wouldn't accept it that easily. She was pissed at me, and for good reason.
"Savannah, I'm an idiot." I started toward her slowly, "I'm so sorry. I was wrong about what I saw and I didn't give you a chance to explain because I was being stubborn and because I was hurt. I should have listened. I know I should have listened to you because you were telling me the truth. You didn't kiss Bryan. He kissed you."
"Why the change of heart?" She asked calmly, her eyes still closed, her hand gripping the wall to maintain her balance.
"I ran into Bryan and when his story corroborated yours, it made me realize I was the asshole. I was the one who had made the mistake."
"Great." She laughed and almost fell over.
I bounded to her side to catch her but she swatted away my arms as she opened her eyes and began to walk away. She found the nearest chair and slumped her body into it.
"So you listen to Bryan but not to me." She sighed, "Figures, even my best friend doesn't believe a word I say."
"No, it wasn't that." I assured her, moving to stand in front of her again, "I swear to you. It wasn't that I didn't believe you! I was hurt and I felt betrayed, and when that happens, I guess you act before you think, or at least I did. I let you down, I know I did, and I'm so sorry Savannah. I was an idiot. There's no excuse for my behavior and no apology good enough. I don't deserve you and I know that, but I just needed to find you and make sure you're okay but you're not."
I would never be able to explain how my heart was aching to be able to make everything okay again. I wanted to turn back the time and listen to her when she had called me. I wanted to meet her instead of hanging up and then she could have explained and it would have been me coming to this room in her embrace, instead of that bartender. She would have been in my arms instead of in this hotel room chair. Everything would have been so different.
"I'm fine." Savannah looked up at me from under her lashes, "You needed to find me to make sure I'm okay and really, I'm fine so you can go if you want to. Consider yourself forgiven or whatever you need to feel so you're not groveling, because it's pointless Nathan. It's all clear to me now. You never felt for me the way I feel for you – sorry, felt for you." I cringed when she corrected her wording.
"I love you Savannah." I knelt down in front of her so I could look directly into her eyes, "I love you. I do feel for you the way you feel for me. You love me right?"
She took a long moment to stare into my eyes. Hers began to fill with tears and she shook her head slowly.
My heart broke again. It was like the pieces that it had broken into previously, broke into smaller pieces, and I struggled to catch my breath. I wanted to tell myself that she was lying, but her walls were back up, the way they had been when she had first returned home. I couldn't see past her tears or the swirling darkness that was creeping into her beautiful blue eyes.
"Don't do this Savannah. Don't shut me out again. I messed up but I can make it right again. I know I can." I was begging now but I didn't care. I needed her to say it would be okay. I couldn't lose her like this.
"I think I'm gonna be sick." She jumped up from the chair she was sitting in and moved faster than I had seen her move all night as she sprinted towards the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it in one swift movement.
I heard her throwing up and I sank even farther to the floor. This was all my fault. All the what if's sprang back up in my mind. What if I had never asked her to come to Las Vegas? What if I had just insisted that we wait for a waitress rather than her ordering drinks at the bar? What if I had listened when she had called me? What if I wasn't a self-centered asshole?
"Savannah?" I called out to her after the toilet had flushed and the water from the bathroom sink had ceased to run. I had forced myself to stand up and post myself by the bathroom door, "Savannah, are you okay?"
There was no answer. Inside the bathroom was quiet and still, so immediately I began to worry.
"Savannah? Please answer me. You can tell me to fuck off or something but I need you to talk to me." I tried to laugh but the sentiment caught in my throat and came out more as a gurgled sputter, "Savannah?"
"Fuck off." She muttered lightly, just loudly enough for me to hear. It brought a smile to my face.
"That's my girl. Will you unlock the door so I can see that you're okay? You don't have to go through this alone. I want to be there for you." I slid down to the floor, sitting with my ear pressed against the door so I could hear the slightest movement from the other side.
I heard her rustling around in there but the door didn't open. It sounded like she was moving to sit next to the door, like I was.
"Can you hear me?" She asked quietly, sniffling so I could tell she was crying.
"Yeah." I replied, hopeful for the first time since she'd walked into the room.
"Okay." She sniffled again but didn't continue. I gave her a minute to talk again but she never did. All was quiet on her end other than the sniffling.
"I'm so sorry." I said again, "What I did was unforgivable. As soon as we get home I'll move out okay? If you never talk to me again, I'll understand just, don't go through tonight alone. Let me be there for you."
She still didn't talk. There were some muffled sobs but no words. With every passing minute my heart broke into smaller pieces, more for her pain then for my own. She had done nothing wrong to deserve the way I had treated her.
"I lied." She finally spoke softly.
"I do love you."
A few of the pieces of my heart mended and a small smile played across my face.
"Is there a but coming?" I asked hesitantly.
"No." She sighed, "No but. I just love you."
I sighed too. I hadn't wanted there to be a "but."
"I love you too beautiful. I never intended for things to happen like this. This trip was supposed to be everything for us. The next step so to speak."
Her head rubbed against the door as if she were nodding it.
"Do you think you can forgive me? I know I don't deserve it but would it be possible?" I knew I shouldn't even ask it of her but I couldn't stop myself, "Maybe in a few years you'll be able to give yourself to me again? I'll wait for you."
There was silence on her end. Just in case she could hear me, I didn't let my sigh escape my lips. I knew what I had done was unforgivable but I had hoped for just a second that she might forgive me anyway.
"I understand." I told her simply, "I'll never forgive me either. I can't believe how stupid I was tonight. I promised you I would take care of you and I left you alone. I was supposed to watch you and instead I let you drink and now you're sick. Will you have to start from square one of the rehab process?"
"Probably." She muttered, "But me drinking was my choice Nate. Don't beat yourself up."
"No, it's all my fault Savannah. I messed everything up and I take full responsibility for it. Is there anything I can do to help you get sober again?"
Silence ensued again for a moment, and then I heard the lock on the door click. I sat up immediately and after just a second the door cracked open and I could see her laying on the floor, her mascara in streaks down her face, her eyes red and face blotchy. She managed a small smile.
"Will you carry me to bed? I don't think I can walk."
"Of course." I stood up and pressed the door open, just enough so that I could step in and over her, reaching down and pulling her into my arms.
Her perfume overpowered any remaining scent of vomit she may have had on her. Even the alcohol, which was being emitted from her pores, was overpowered by her perfume. She smelled of honeysuckle and strawberries, purely feminine, purely Savannah.
"There you go." I set her down on the plush bed gently, pulling back the covers and then tucking her underneath them. I took a step back, inwardly cursing myself again.
There she was, so small and fragile in such a large bed, the bed that had been meant for us to share. I reminded myself I was an idiot.
"I'll keep my phone next to me all night so if you need anything, just call me okay?" I offered as I took a few steps backwards, away from the bed and away from her.
"Nate?" She sat up and looked over at me with the look of a scared child. It was the look Jamie got whenever he had a bad dream.
"Yeah?" I tried to smile at her reassuringly but I was positive the sentiment never reached my eyes.
"Don't go." She patted the bed next to her, "I don't want to be alone. Will you hold me?"
I didn't cry often but I could feel the tears building. We could never be together and I knew that now. Holding her, but not being able to have her seemed like the right punishment for my crimes. Eternal damnation would have been appropriate as well.
"Of course beautiful." I kicked off my shoes and removed my watch then climbed into the bed fully clothed, "Whatever you want."
I wrapped my arm around her waist beneath the covers, holding her slim frame tightly against my chest. I was afraid if I didn't hold her tight enough she would slip away and realize she didn't want me here at all.
I could feel her crying, her body shaking in my arms and I let a tear slide down my own cheek. I could do nothing to comfort her because it was my fault she was crying in the first place.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, running my fingers through her hair, "I know it doesn't make anything better but I am so sorry. I'll say it for eternity."
The shaking increased and I realized I had made her cry harder. My tears fell at a faster pace as well.
"Savannah, please don't cry." I choked out, "Please baby, I'll fix it okay? I'll do whatever I can to fix it."
She turned in my arms and in one breath had embedded her fingers at the nape of my neck, pulling my lips to her own in a crushing kiss. Her tongue flickered against my lips, begging for admission to my mouth, which I granted easily. It took only a second for her to roll me onto my back and climb on top of me, our lips never losing contact.
I stopped thinking and I was sure she did too. Our bodies moved as one, her hips grinding against mine. She released her hold on my lips only to sit up and pull her dress over her head, leaving her clothed in only her lacy bra and panties. The lights from the Las Vegas strip illuminated the room enough to make her skin luminescent. She reached behind herself to unclip her bra, discarding it easily before she leaned back down to attack my lips again.
I couldn't keep my hands off of her and hers seemed to be content on me as well. Her nimble fingers quickly releasing the buttons of my shirt, opening it wide so she could run her hands down my chest and abs. She climbed off of me only long enough to undo my belt and the button of my pants before she pulled them down and off of me. I sat up to throw my shirt off the side of the bed and then I pulled her to me again. This time I was on top.
"Mmm." She moaned as I trailed kisses down her jaw and neck to her collarbone. Her back arched and I could hear her nails scraping across the sheets beneath us.
"I love you." I mumbled against her skin, moving my lips lower on her body.
"I love you too." She replied breathlessly.
I took one of her nipples in my mouth and bit it, just enough to tease. She groaned loudly and I glanced up at her face, her eyes rolling back in her head. A mischievous grin spread across my face, my fingers finding the top of her panties and dipping inside. When they found her wetness she growled, a deep guttural growl as she arched again. Her eyes were closed as I captured her mouth with mine again, letting our tongues tangle while I moved my fingers inside her.
"Make love to me." She whimpered against my lips, grinding into my hand, "I can't take it anymore."
She didn't need to ask me twice. I shed my own boxers and stripped her of her panties swiftly, moving over her and into her at once. She screamed but it wasn't in pain, it was pure pleasure. Her nails dug into my back and I moved faster inside her, letting the heat build. She was clinging to me, every thrust drawing a different sound from her lips.
The climax was building quickly when she switched the dynamic again, pushing me off of her and climbing back on top. I could see her deceptive grin in the lights from outside as she sank down onto me, causing me to growl this time. Her moves were smoother, and designed to bring the most pleasure by each individual movement - rather than as much pleasure as possible from a series of fast movements. I gripped onto her hips as she rode me expertly. It didn't take long at all before she was throwing her head back in pure ecstasy, screaming as her orgasm rocked her body. I felt each individual wave of her release from the inside and it brought me to my own. She kissed me passionately just as I was screaming my release.
When I could move again, I rolled her to her side from where she had collapsed against my chest. She wasn't asleep; instead, she stared at me with wide-eyed abandon. I made sure she was comfortable by pulling the covers back over our now cooling bodies and then just held her in my arms, too scared that speaking would bring reality crashing back around us. I wanted to revel in the love for now. I didn't want her to remember why she should hate me.
"I love you." She whispered quietly, lifting her finger to trace the features of my face. She lingered on my lips, my eyelids and finally let her hand fall to my chest.
"I love you too." I replied, kissing her softly and pulling her closer to my chest.
Her breathing evened out, as did mine and when I knew she was soundly asleep, I allowed myself to drift to sleep as well. We would just deal with everything else in the morning.
I woke up alone. I was reaching out and feeling around in the bed, trying to find Savannah without opening my eyes, but she wasn't there and I groaned. I should have expected as much but, it didn't hurt any less when the reality sank in, she simply was not going to forgive me. She had given me the one night of pleasure and that was all I was ever going to get from her, ever again.
I forced myself to open my eyes, blinking to adjust to the light levels of the room. The curtains were closed, even though I was positive they hadn't been the night before. It left the room still fairly dark, despite the clock reading 12:22 PM.
I resigned myself to get up out of bed, taking deep breaths as I looked around the room to find all my clothes. I slipped on my boxers and threw the rest of the clothes on the bed. At least they were together so they would be easy to pack. I opened the door from the bedroom and headed into the living room area of the suite.
The curtains were not closed in the living room and I had to blink again, repeatedly, to adjust my eyes to the light. When I could finally see again, I was very surprised to find Savannah standing by the window in a bathrobe, staring out over the city, sipping a cup of coffee. She didn't turn to look at me but I knew she knew I was there.
Her hair was wet, a sign she had showered recently. She was breathing evenly, almost calculatedly, as if she was forcing each individual breath from her body. I didn't want to bother her but I couldn't just ignore the fact that she was there.
"Morning." I offered pathetically, moving to stand next to her, "Looks like a beautiful day out there."
She glanced at me and nodded, then returned her gaze to the city below.
"How are you feeling?"
"Hung-over." She admitted quietly, "Mostly shitty."
"Yeah…" I could commiserate with the mostly shitty part, although for completely different reasons.
She had just opened her mouth to speak again when her cell phone began to ring from the coffee table behind us. She cast a quick glance at me and then headed for the couch, sitting down, setting her coffee down and then answering the phone.
"Hey." She said quietly.
I didn't want to intrude on her conversation so I headed back into the bedroom to find my suitcase and start to pack. Whatever was going to happen between Savannah and I, I was positive it wouldn't include staying another day in Las Vegas. With the door open, I could still hear Savannah's side of her conversation.
"No Rach, I'm okay." She sighed, "Yeah, I did but it's gonna be fine. Trust me. I feel crappy enough today that I know better than to drink again. I won't relapse again."
I groaned quietly. I hated that she had drunk because of me. I hated myself for letting it happen. It would be a long time before I stopped beating myself up over this.
"You really don't need to do that Rachel, I'm really going to be okay. It was just a rough night and I fell off the bandwagon. End of story. It won't happen again."
Rough night was an understatement. I knew how much I had drank just because I thought she was hooking up with Bryan again. I didn't even want to know how much she had when she realized I had abandoned her. For an alcoholic especially, it must have been so horrible, realizing you have no defense against your one weakness. When she realized she was alone in Las Vegas, I couldn't imagine that she would have been able to say no. Again, I cursed myself.
"Okay. Yeah. I appreciate that Rachel. I really do. Stop apologizing. It was my choice to drink and everyone just needs to let that sink in. My choice, my mistake, my consequences. Okay. I'll see you in a couple days."
When she was quiet I assumed she had hung up her phone. I had just finished packing my dirty clothes and grabbing clean ones when she came into the room.
"So um," She paused in the doorway and I turned to look at her, "Shall we talk?"
I answered her question with a slow nod and looked around. There was nowhere to sit comfortably in here other than the bed and after what had occurred there the night before, it was probably the last place she wanted to spend a second more with me.
"You wanna go sit on the couch?" I asked her.
Savannah shrugged and then headed that way. I started to follow but she turned to stop me.
"Could you put some clothes on first?" She requested, looking me over, "It's kind of hard to think clearly when you're only wearing boxers."
I grinned proudly at her and she smiled back.
"I'll be on the couch."
She closed the door to the bedroom behind her, as if I needed privacy to get dressed. I threw on my dirty clothes from the night before, since I still needed to shower, and then joined her on the couch in the living room. She was sipping her coffee, patiently waiting for me.
We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I had no idea what to say to her. I knew I couldn't fix anything and she had already said the night before - without saying anything -that I would not be forgiven. My heart began to ache again.
"You think it's actually true?" She finally spoke, the question in her eyes as she turned to look at me, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?"
I laughed and shook my head.
"How could it? People get married here and it's not like when they leave they're no longer married. It'd be nice if it was true though right? We'd leave here and all would go back to the way it was before we left Tree Hill. You would still be four months sober. I wouldn't hate myself for hurting you so badly."
"Oh Nate…" Savannah placed her hand on my knee and sighed, "It was a misunderstanding. You thought I kissed Bryan and you overreacted but you shouldn't keep beating yourself up about it."
"How can I not? You drank! The one thing you were worried about coming here for. The one thing that I promised I would protect you from! And I failed because I was a jackass and hung up on you! Why didn't I listen? Why didn't I force myself past the selfish pride and just listen? We could have avoided all of this."
"Hopefully not ALL of it." Savannah winked at me and I was sure I blushed, for what reason I wasn't sure, "You have to admit the sex was great."
"Nate, everything happens for a reason right? We've talked about this a million times. The world is not mysterious. Every single thing that takes place occurs for a purpose. Your marriage to Haley, Jamie, my marriage to Bryan, Alex… it was all for a reason! This trip to Las Vegas, running into Bryan, the kiss, the slap." She smiled at that one then continued, "The drinking and the sex. If everything happens for a reason, I can't regret a single moment of it. Can you?"
I frowned at her.
"Last night, when you were locked in the bathroom, I asked if you could forgive me and you didn't say anything. You were silent."
"You asked me that?" She raised an eyebrow at me, "Baby, I was in and out of consciousness in there. I heard "I love you too beautiful" and then "Will you have to start from square one of the rehab process?" Anything said in between was lost to me. I honestly have no idea how I got the stamina to have sex. In that bathroom I thought I was going to die."
My heart soared. She hadn't heard me ask so maybe…
"So you can forgive me?"
"It wasn't your fault!" She exclaimed, "Nate, I drank of my own accord. Yes, it was because I was alone and you left me but, from your point of view, I can understand that. You saw a kiss occur between Bryan and I. If I saw you kissing Haley I probably would have reacted the same. It's a natural reaction, to run. I don't blame you for anything."
She shouldn't be letting me off the hook this easily. Not that I wanted her to hate me, but part of me still felt like I deserved it. I definitely didn't deserve to be forgiven and yet here she was, forgiving me.
"You were so angry when you came in." I remembered, "With that guy, you looked at me like you hated me."
"I was drunk." She reminded me, "Don't listen to the ramblings of a drunk person. My defenses were up. I was more angry at myself for drinking than anything else, I just took it out on you."
"I don't deserve your forgiveness." I said quietly, looking down at my hands, "You should hate me."
"Will it make you feel better if I hate you?"
"No." I snapped back up to look into her eyes and she grinned.
"Then stop saying you don't deserve forgiveness. Focus instead on the good, like, giving me a repeat performance of last night." She moved to straddle me pushing me back against the couch as she undid the wrap of her robe revealing that she was wearing nothing underneath.
I gulped loudly, taking her curves in. She was so beautiful. The part of me that still felt guilty chided me, reminding me that I did not deserve this amazing woman.
"So much for taking things slow." I laughed, pulling her down to me as I kissed her roughly.
She giggled in my arms, pulling back slightly and smiling down at me.
"I think Lucas was right. We tried the taking it slow thing in high school and it got us nowhere. Fast is better."
"Fast is better." I agreed, pushing her down to grind into my lap, "Much, much better."
She laughed again, pushing my shirt open and running her fingernails lightly over my chest.
"I love you Nathan Scott."
"Mmm." I closed my eyes and reveled in her touch, barely able to form coherent thoughts, "I love you too Savannah Carter."
She continued her ministrations on me for only a second when an idea suddenly formed in my mind and my eyes popped open.
"Lucas was right." I stated quietly.
She smiled and nodded.
"We've been over that part of the conversation already. We've moved on to the foreplay now."
"No Savannah, Lucas was right." I repeated, causing her brows to furrow, "Vegas is where people come to get married."
Her mouth fell open, her hands falling dead against my chest. A million questions formed in her eyes but I just smiled.
"Your choice Ms. Carter. You wanna move fast or slow?" My grin grew with every passing second, "Marry me."
After several long minutes she leaned down to kiss me and sighed deeply into my mouth. She spoke only three words when she pulled away.
"Fast is better."
Author's Note part deux: Sorry for the cliffhanger... not really though. I like cliffhangers cause I'm evil. :) Also, I should have put a disclaimer at the beginning of the chapter about the sex scene but that would have ruined the anticipation leading up to the sex scene of whether Nathan would be forgiven or not so... yeah! Review now please!