Kiarra: I did this little Oneshot for an assignment for school. My teacher seemed to like it, so I decided to upload it. Please review, I could really use some critiquing! There's also some hints of Yaoi for humor, & a lot of Lavi bashing for slapstick comedy. Don't ask me where this thing came from, I do have to thank my best buddy for giving me a few ideas, for Kanda's outfits though! Allen would you do the honors of doing the disclamer?
Allen: Kiarra-Chan doesn't own the -Man series, but she does own the idea for the FanFiction. If she did own the -Man series, I'd have a set of goggles & Kanda's hair would be quite a bit longer.
Lavi: Hey! What about me?!
Kiarra: You would be getting a lot more, by Allen & the others.
Lavi: What?! Don't you love me?
Kiarra: Yes I do, but I think you're better at comic relief, like Reno from FF7!
Allen: -Snickers Quietly-
Kanda: You guys are idiots...
Kiarra: I worte the fic, I don't need to know your opinion! I just need to know the readers' opinion.
Kanda: Don't you have a story to start?
Kiarra: OH! Right! Remember, Italics are thoughts!
Lavi: -Sobbing In His Emo Corner-
Kiarra, Allen, & Kanda: -Staring & Sweatdropping-
"Come on Bean Sprout, they were jokes! It was in good fun! No need to take personally!" said the red-haired, eye-patch-wearing, hammer-wielding exorcist dubbed Lavi.
"You ate my mitarashi dango! Drew, in ink I might add, on my face when a fell asleep & set fire to my uniform! You call all that fun?! & I swear if you call me 'Bean Sprout' one more time I'll make you eat your bandanna!", said Allen, his face was much contrast to his snow-colored hair as he yelled at his friend.
Lavi stared blankly at his friend, the only thing going through his mind was, 'Wow, he looks like a strawberry with whipped cream on top…'
As he recovered from his ADD moment he said"Um… Allen, I don't think that we should duke this out here… So let's go to the training hall!"
Lavi realized that there were people around & that they were causing a scene.
"Maybe we'll find Yu there!"
'Great, if we find Kanda, then my sour day will finally be complete…' thought Allen as he trudged after Lavi.
Two flights of stairs & ten minutes later…
"Ah! Hey Yu! Mind if Bean Sprout & I train too?"
Within ten seconds of this being said, Lavi had Mugen's tip, Kanda's exorcising katana, pointing at his nose.
"What have I said about you calling me by my first name, you stupid rabbit?" Kanda's long black hair seemed to flutter like fresh linen on the line as he turned away from Lavi. He obviously didn't want to here his comrade's answer.
"If you & Moyashi are going to train, then leave me out of it! I am in no mood to deal with either of you."
"Well, if you are in no mood then leave, stupid", Allen chided; he didn't like the fact that Kanda had reverted back to his native tongue of Japanese just to insult him.
"Like I'm going to let you tell me what to do you cursed, white-haired, piano-playing freak," a sinister smirk appeared on Kanda face as he added, "How about you sit down, shut up & I give you a crew cut?"
"Oh, those are some new insults. And I think that your hair would fetch a better price."
While the two bickered, Lavi watched in amusement; a small smile escaping his lips. For he knew, even though they got each other's nerves, that Allen, Kanda, & himself were all good friends. At least, as much as a friend as he was allowed to be. Lavi lost himself in a wave of nostalgia, only to be called back by a boot to the stomach & a fist to the jaw. Needless to say he was thrown back several feet, landing spread-eagled on the cold stone of the castle floor.
If there was one thing that Allen Walker & Yu Kanda could agree on, it was when someone needed a reality check.
"Gee, thanks guys. I really needed those lovely gifts of pain & suffering!" said Lavi, each word dripping with sarcasm.
"Well I'm glad you liked them!" Allen said as he smiled innocently.
'Blast that kid with his poker face!' thought the injured Lavi as he stood, 'He always has to have the last word!'
"How about you & Kanda go cuddle somewhere? You two make a perfect couple."
With that little remark Lavi received a beating that could rival only the infamous beatings of good old Gramps the Bookman, when he did something wrong.
About two hours of wailing on Lavi the Punching Bag later…
"Well, I'm certainly hungry now." said Allen.
"Pou're albays 'ungry.", came the muffled & slightly slurred voice of a punch drunk Lavi. He was leaning heavily on Kanda for an obvious reason. Who was getting more & more irritated by the minute at said leaning person.
A few minutes later the trio arrived at the cafeteria. Allen went to go order a mountain of food to satisfy his always apparent appetite, while Kanda & Lavi went to go find several vacant seats. When Allen returned he caught the two in a heated debate.
"I'm telling you A Journey to the Center of the Earth is WAY better than The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes!"
"And I say that you're a science fiction junkie."
"Am not!" said Lavi indignantly.
'Kanda reads mystery novels? Who would've guessed?' Allen put that little tidbit of information away for a later date.
"Um… May I ask what in blazes put you two on such a topic?" puzzled Allen, his gentlemen-like composure shining through every word.
"Trust me Bean Sprout, you don't want to know. This argument between me & Bookman Junior here has been going on for a long time." Kanda stood from his chair, "If you are done ordering your food then I'm going to order my soba. Sayonara."
Allen took Kanda's place, waited until he was out of earshot, & asked, "Why is it that Kanda's been acting actually kind of nice for once?"
Lavi face broke out into a Cheshire-like grin. That meant that the storm of trouble was brewing. Allen simply kept his poker face, but he was starting to sweat, for he was worried for his well-being.
"Oh, I spiked Kanda's soba that he had for lunch with this!" Lavi pulled a small vial out of his coat pocket, its label reading "Pick-Me-Up Potion: Guaranteed to turn anyone's sour attitude upside-down!" Below the lettering it read, "Crafted by Komui Lee"
"Bloody brilliant isn't it? & I think that it's starting to kick in now!"
"Where did you find this?"
"In a box that was mislabeled, it said "Ancient Tomes" but it had a lot of stuff from the Science Department, so I took this. I thought that I could have some real fun with it." said Lavi, his mischievous demeanor, seemed to cloud his judgment quite a bit these days.
"This could end very badly, you do know that right?"
"Yeah, but as long as we get to see a nice Yu, I'll do anything to see that."
"How long will it last?" a puzzled look appeared on the younger teen's face as he said this.
"Good question my dear fr-"
Both of them froze, they saw Kanda grinning like an idiot as he jogged up carrying his plate of soba noodles. He sat down beside Lavi saying, "So what are you two chattin' about?"
Allen blinked in a dumbfounded way, while Lavi snickered inwardly & said, "We were talking about how your hair would look if it were dyed pink."
"Really? I was thinking that I needed a new look. What do think Allen-Chan?"
Allen glanced at Lavi for support, but all received was a look that said, "Just go along with it."
"Um… It would… Look positively gorgeous!" Allen's poker face was failing him miserably.
"Great! I'll dye my hair tonight! But, I'm gonna need your guys' help finding me an outfit that matches it. So let's eat our fill for now!"
About an hour of a hyperactive Kanda chatting away was just about enough for Allen.
'I think I liked Kanda better when he was sour all the time…', the small teen thought with an inward sigh as he watched his two friends playing the racks of the "Rejected Uniforms" department Kanda's hair was now a bright fuchsia color.
"Hey Allen-Chan! How's this?" called Kanda as he stepped out from out from behind the curtain that served as the door to changing room. He was wearing a dragon costume that practically screamed "Am I being immature or what?" Allen had to turn his back to Kanda to keep from bursting out in laughter.
"It… Looks OK… But how about this one?" Allen said as he pulled off a rack a fairy costume that had a tantalizing short skirt & very large bright pink wings with fake jewels studded in them
".... OH MY GOD! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!", Kanda squealed, in doing so he made Allen falling to ground laughing his head off & catching the attention of that certain mischievous rabbit.
About five minutes later Kanda stepped out from behind the curtain humming tunelessly to him all the while. Lavi' face flickered into his signature Cheshire-like grin for the second time that day.
"Wow Yu! You look drop dead sexy!"
"Why thank you Lavi-Chan."
"What do you think Allen, doesn't Yu look good?" asked Lavi as he turned to his comrade, but the more mature of the trio of idiots was nowhere to be seen.
"Where did he go? ALLEN! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"
"Don't look at me Lavi-Chan… Maybe he's gotten himself lost while trying to find me a new outfit for me to try on? I hope he's OK." said the fairy-Kanda, with a worried look on his face.
Lavi listened for a moment & heard muffled laughter from the rack behind them. With a sly grin on his face he quickly pulled back the clothes to reveal Allen doubled over with laughter.
Lavi bent down & whispered, "& what is so humorous that you have to hide Mr. Walker?" Allen, still chuckling, pointed upward. There sitting on the rack above him was Timcanpy, Allen's loyal video recording Golem.
"Great idea Allen, I swear you can be more devious than I am at times." whispered Lavi.
Allen stood from his hiding spot, now wearing his poker face yet again. Kanda quickly rushed over to Allen & gave him a long embrace saying, "Thank you Allen for getting such a nice outfit. I really lo-"
Allen was sent flying by Kanda's fist, which his glare alone looked like it could kill murder someone.
"WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARING?!"
Allen was slumped, out cold, against the wall, so the wrath of Kanda was directed towards a certain red-head.
"You did something to me I know you did! What did you do you idiotic rabbit?! Spill it now before I spill your guts!"
"I-I-I s-spiked your s-s-soba… I'm t-t-telling the truth, so will ya p-please not kill me?" stuttered Lavi, he was barely audible, but Kanda had him pinned against a wall so he heard every word.
"You know… I'm thinking that I'll have rabbit tomorrow in my tempura. Care to join me in a trip to the cafeteria?" Kanda's voice was dangerously soft.
Meanwhile, Allen had quickly recovered from Kanda's punch; was now escaping quietly & with haste out of the room with Timcanpy riding on his shoulder.
'Sorry Lavi, but I'm not helping you here. You brought this on yourself & after what you did to me on that last mission… Well, I have no remorse.' Allen thought as he heard a high pitched scream.
The next day, Lavi was in the infirmary for cuts, bruises & a concussion. Allen was supporting a black eye & had a reoccurring twitch every time Kanda's name was mentioned. However, Kanda seemed to have vanished into thin air; he showed up about a week later with a slight pinkish tint to his hair. During the time of Kanda's absence, Komui Lee had been spotted looking for a small & certain vial.
While Lavi was in the infirmary, he had gotten visit from Allen. Together they watch the video that Timcanpy had recorded of the "Fairy-Kanda Incident". Its name came from the trouble twins Allen & Lavi. Their howls of laughter could be heard echoing through the halls of the Black Order. They had both learned something from that incident.
One can play a prank on a friend, but be careful, for that person could have a hell of a right hook.
Kiarra: What do you think?
Allen: Where's Lavi & Kanda?
-High Pitched Screaming-
Allen & Kiarra: Oh dear...