M.P.O.: hello to all of the fantastical twilight fans out there, and Stephanie Meyer herself if she ever reads this! hee hee. well, this oneshot all started in lunch yesturday, when a few of my friends were talking about aimless stuff, most of it concerning edward and the coming movie. now around halfway through the conversation one of my friends (no names here) asked, "what if the vampires could get drunk?" and me naturally being a random person, a HUGE lightbulb flashed into life right over my head. i turned to her with a wide grin and she looked back at me, a mischivous glint in her eyes and the result of the plotting afterwards lay before you. enjoy! (oh! please note that i will be keeping to the authors' traditional way of letting you think for yourself on cirtain things, as i am not good at writing that kind of thing anyway.)

disclaimer: i do not own Twilight nor any of the characters, but i do own an dog slobbered sock and half a chocolate chip cookie! (swallows) oops...no more cookie...(cries on renesmee's shoulder)

summary: i can tell you no more than: 8 vampires, new years eve, 6 drunks and one mangy mutt. have fun!!!


New Years Madness

By: M.P.O. and friends.

The rain rose on new years eve with a pounding like mad dancers upon the roof. in the light of the faint sun stood a raven haired beauty, her eyes glinting orange against the glare that bounced from the window in front of her. her crossed arms shook, holding back gut busting gales of laughter as she flipped through the memory of a small silver camera in her ivory hand. 'new years eve was fun.' she thought, turning around to look at the room behind her.

lying across the couch and floor were seven other people, all groaning or staring up at the ceiling, and for some odd reason, one dead dog. holding back more gales of laughter, the raven haired vampress moved forward fluidly and sat down on one unoccupied spot of the couch and started flipping through the chanels, waiting for her comrads to regain their composure. as she flipped, her mind delved back into the memories of the past three hours.


Bella drove slowly home, one hand on the wheel while the other remained intwined with Edwards. Renesmee had just been dropped off at Charlies for New Years Eve, with Jacob, Sue, Seth, and Leah. meanwhile the rest of the Cullen family was waiting to have a nice, quiet, child free, evening together.

all too soon, they pulled into the huge garage and parked the shiny silver volvo beside a row of other fancy cars that bella couldn't even begin to name. grinning seductivly, edward slid around the car and opened her door for her, going even father and lifting her out of the seat completely. she bent her head to his and they kissed passionatly, theyir lips seemingly glued together as edward gently kicked open the door and carried her inside. the house was quiet, even to vampire ears and edward grinned against her lips as he carried her up to his room, where they started their fun for the first time that night.


the baseball field was quiet, the only sounds were that of the wind whispering through the grass. situated in different spots around the clearing were couples, all of them staring up at the stars and counting the time until midnight.

in the middle of a very nice make out session with bella, edward looked up and towards the west, where a group of voices and the sound of something sloshing could faintly be heard on the wind. a low dogs' whine echoed in the close trees and a few seconds later the sound of breaking glass came to them as well, along with muttered cursing and more howling from the dog. around five mintues after this, six grubby, stumbling men, entered the clearing, one of them tugging on the leash of a skinny brown and white mutt that followed behind them. they stopped soon after they saw the spread out people and one of them stumbled forward clutching his head. carlisle imediatly jumped to his feet, as the man's skull was filled with shards of broken glass, all centered around the same spot. japser and emmett ran forward with him, trying not to look like they were anything more than human, while esme, bella and edward stayed behind to watch. alice meanwhile had flitted over and picked up the poor skinnny little puppy and was currently muttering to it and stoking it's coarse brown fur soothingly. just as carlisle bent down over the man's head to see tha damage, the wind shifted, bringing with it a cloying sweet smell that made bella's mouth water instantly. edward stiffened, his nose raised to the air and sniffing wildly, esme too had begun to edge forward, her beautiful face tilted upward to catch the fleeting scent. bella sniffed too and for a second, her thoughts were stuck on that one thought, before she thought about charlie and shook herself really hard. holding her breath she sat back down, waiting for the others to come to their senses, only to realize that something was terribly amiss a second to late.

in one bound the remaining vampires were converged around the sputtering drunks, eyes gleaming black in the moonlight. men cried out and were silenced before they could utter another sound, and bella covered her sensitive ears against the sound of tearing flesh and licking. in a mere 10 minutes, the 6 men were lying on the ground dead, while 7 vampires stumbled around trying to regain their balance. and as horrible as it was, bella doubled over laughing at the site, he rhands clasped around her stomach as she rolled around in the grass, staining the too frilly silk garment alice had made her wear.


after carring the last vampire home and dumping him on the couch, went to grab a camera, meaning to take a simple picture for "use" later on. when she made it back however, she found a site that she definatly had not forseen (hey she isn't alice) sprawled before her eyes.

on the couch, carlisle was entangled with rosalie, both glued together in different spots. emmett and jasper were slumped against the windowed wall, their cold breath fogging the glass. alice and (bella paused, blinking to clear her eyes) the dog were getting it on doggie style by the door. afraid to see what was happenig elsewhere, bella reluctantly turned, a frown pulling at her full lips as she caught sight of edwards shoe lying abandoned beside the fireplace. beside esme's shirt lay in a heap, almost like a cookie crumb trail for her to follow.

bella thought for a moment, wrapped up in her head, and the grinnned so evilly, even the whole of the volturi would run. grabbing the camera from inside it's pouch, she ran around taking pictures of everyone, for the best of three hours, until she got tired of it. then she flitted up to alices' room and uploaded the pictures onto her computer. she scanned throught them deleting those she didn't like, and then left them in a folder marked "oh alice!!?" inside was a message that read "HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!"

bella snikered and wandered back downstairs for the rest of the night to stand beside a window and watch the rain rise on a new day.

noon: january 1st.

"BELLA!!!!!!!" the high bell like shriek came rolling down the stairs like a bowling ball, and bella turned, a small innocent smile flickering at the corners of her mouth.

"yes alice?"


M.P.O.: hope you guys liked it! it actually didn't take as long as i thought it would! please leave a nice reveiw and a cookie if you have any, or at least a dry sock would be nice. i thank my friends who helped me to make this possible and you all know who you are! thanks again! bye!