It's over. Yeah, you weren't wrong when you saw that this was completely. And yes, I am as completely dumbfounded as you are. Everything is over (it's sorta sad for me...maybe I'll have to write a sequel...but it depends on the demand and my preferences). Just so you know, there is a slight spoiler in here from Ch. 145 if you haven't already read that. If you haven't, I suggest you read it. Don't blame me if you haven't read this and don't know about the spoiler because this is bolded and underlined. Ughhhh...now that that is out of the way, I want to thank all of you for your support during this entire thing. If it hadn't been for you, this would have ended at the prologue. Please please REVIEW!!! I can't wait to hear what you thought about it. This one took a long time, but I spent hours and hours on it just to make it right because this is the end and I wanted it to be perfect (well, I hope it is). I like this chapter the best, personally. All your questions are answered. Anyway, please review and enjoy!!!
The world was at a standstill. Everything seemed so calm and tranquil. She heard people talking in murmurs and some occasional laughter. She heard the shuffling of feet hitting the ground as they passed her by and their breaths, soft and almost silent. Beside her, someone was smacking gum and then blowing it till it made a soft 'pop'. They repeated the process over and over. All of this was normal and yet it seemed so incomprehensible. Why was everything so ordinary? She felt as if she was in some parallel world where everything was okay.
But it wasn't. It wasn't okay.
People should have been running and screaming. Nothing should have been the same. She had been feeling normal just a few hours ago, but that seemed so distant now. She remembered talking with Ren and hanging out with Moko a few days ago. And then how Shotaro had-
She felt a sense of shock as she sat there, unmoving except for the uncontrollable shaking emanating from her hands. Shotaro. Why could she only remember the good times with him now that he might be dead? Now that she possibly could never see him again. He had brought her to Tokyo, protected her from Vie Ghoul, stolen her first kiss…
Deep inside she knew that she had never stopped loving him. No matter how much she screamed and yelled at him, she always knew that she was really just covering it up. That really and truly, him leaving her had shocked her into a form of hate. It was just a defense against being hurt again. Feeling so much hurt that she would go back to being in pieces. Going back to hurting so much that all she could do was cry and feel vulnerable. It was a defense so that she wouldn't cry in front of him. So that she wouldn't hurt him. Because even when she was crying all he could do was watch. He could never handle her tears.
She had never thought that he would leave her. Never thought that he would abandon her like her mother had. Never thought he would leave her all alone with nothing to keep her going. She had always thought he would stay there with her. Forever. She never wanted to believe that one of the only people she had ever loved never loved her back. Never cared about her. Only thought of her as a stepping stool to get higher in the world.
But it was all clear now. She knew that he probably didn't care about her. That he probably wouldn't remember her after becoming more famous. And yet…she couldn't help but love him. Even if it hurt. Even if he didn't love her back. Even if… if he died. She felt a silent tear slide down her face. He was hurting now. Hurting so much that it was possible that he could leave this world forever. Possible that he would never see her again. Never talk to her again. Never touch her again.
It was crazy, but all she really wanted was to hear his voice one more time. Just to hear it and know that he was going to be okay. Just to see him looking at her normally as if everything was fine. That he was going to keep living. It didn't really matter that he wouldn't return her feelings. Even if every time she saw him, it caused her to cry by herself. She didn't even care if he yelled and screamed at her. As long as he was there. He just needed to be alive. Breathing. Singing. Acting. She didn't care as long he was alive.
She covered her eyes with her jacket sleeve to hide her tears. Her heart seemed to burn, as if someone had forcibly ripped a piece of it out and didn't patch up the space. Her breaths became staggered and a moan escaped from her lips. And no one noticed. She felt alone. Nothing was right. It hurt. It really hurt. And she couldn't do anything about it.
"I told you I'm fine, doc! So why don't you just shut up and leave me alone. I have a scratch on my forehead and-"
Kyoko felt her heart beating faster. Her palms began to sweat.
"You fainted. You need to rest and recu-"
"What the heck do you think someone would do after nearly being killed on the street? Have a cup of tea? Are you seriously-"
This couldn't be happening. There was no way that this was happening.
"All you fans are worried."
"A better reason to leave this hospital, don't you think? I'm not stupid. You just want to be given credit for a scratch."
Kyoko stood up slowly and turned around. She saw him and the tears seemed to fall like rain on a stormy day. It wouldn't stop and she ran toward him embracing him in a tight hug. She couldn't think. His smell, his blonde hair, his voice all seemed to attack her at once, leaving her breathless. Relief filled her every vein and bone in her body. He was there. Alive. At first his body went stiff. She felt him tense up immediately as his voice left him.
But then his arms slowly wrapped around her. She felt her tears soak his shirt. They stood there for a while, awkwardly hugging each other.
"I thought you were dead," Kyoko whispered, "I thought you left m-"
She was silent. Tears ran down faster and her grip on him grew tighter. She felt her body shake. This wasn't real. How could he still be alive? He was there.
"You hate me, Kyoko. I left you, just like you mother. And you-"
Sho hugged Kyoko tighter to the point where it almost hurt. Then he became tense and put his hands on her shoulders. He looked her straight in the eyes. The pain in them shot through her like a bullet. They seemed to push her away and at the same time, tell her to bring him closer.
Abruptly, Sho turned around. She stared at his back that looked lonesome.
"This is goodbye, Kyoko-san. Please…don't look for me."
He began walking. Walking away from her. A mental image of her mother popped into her head. He was leaving her. Just like her mother. No. No, this couldn't be happening. She wasn't prepared for this. She felt her knees go weak and she swayed. Everything seemed so dizzy, so unreal. All she could see was his back. Walking farther and farther away. If she called out would he turn around? Or would he never look back?
Okaa-san! Okaa-san!* No, don't leave me behind!
Would it happen again? Just like before? Would he leave her alone? All alone again…
Sweat dripped down her face and she felt her heart race faster and faster. Was she really just going to let this happen? Was it going to be a repeat of the past? Why…why do people keep leaving? The most important people…
"D-Don't…" she murmured quietly.
She began shaking as the memories appeared before her. All those happy memories. All the quirky little things she knew about him and he knew about her. How she spent almost all of her life trying to become his wife…how he didn't like sweet things but loved pudding. How he pretended not to care about her but protected her in the end… How could he just leave like that?
"Don't leave me, idiot!!!!" Kyoko screamed tears streaming down her cheeks, arms shaking toward him, "I love you. I…never really hated you."
Her heart hurt. Sho slowly stopped walking. He stood there, unmoving and unemotional.
"It hurts. I can't bear it. I don't want you to leave me. Please, please don't leave me."
Kyoko fell to her knees and stared at the ground. She felt the tears coming down. They just wouldn't stop. She felt so broken. Her heart ached. She felt like a hole was gaping there. So helpless. Nothing was right. It hurt so much. No matter what she said, what she felt…
"It really hurts. I love you…I love you too much…you know," Kyoko weakly chuckled, "when I was little, you were like…a prince to me. I felt so lucky just to know you. You were like my own fairy tale. I…never knew your feelings toward me. But then…"
Nothing would change. He would leave her, just like her mother. Her most important persons…
"You took me to Tokyo. I…was so happy. I can't even describe it. You chose me. Even if you left me, I still loved you. I thought that I could easily forget you. But you know what Sho…"
She used all of her strength to look up at him. He was still turned around but something had changed. He was slightly shaking and his fist was clenched tightly. He looked so far away. So far away.
"…I can't. I c-can't. Please. Please, please don't leave me Sho. I love you. I love you…I love you…idiot…." Kyoko said weakly, falling to the ground.
She felt two hands catch her and pull her into a tight embrace. She felt so weak. She couldn't take it. Couldn't take the pain.
Sho held her tightly. His arms surrounded her protectively and she relaxed against his chest. She heard his heart beating and she calmed, silently listening.
"I won't leave you. Kyoko, I love you. I thought that you were….just a childhood friend…just a…childhood friend…."
He trailed off. She liked the way that he held her, the smell and how she felt so warm even though outside it was snowing…
"But I was wrong. I need you. I…hurt you. I'll never forgive myself. I'm so sorry Kyoko. I'm so sorry…"
He sounded so desperate. A mixture of pain and sadness filled his voice. It hurt her. Her lips touched his and then she fell back into his chest and closed her eyes.
"I love you. Please stay with me," she said
Everything was silent and the room quieted. All she could hear was the breathing of him beside her. And that was all that mattered.
"I won't leave you."
His lips touched hers and they were together. In their own realm where no one else could enter.
*Okaa-san means mom