Why Things Are The Way That They Are

"Victory!" The Black Adder cried, dancing as the bodies of his fellow shamans lay dead around him. "Got what you had coming, eh Darling?"

He kicked the well dressed and recently poisoned body of Head Shaman Melchett's aide before promptly looting a fine necklace from the body.

His glee was, however, soon interrupted by a small figure in a janitorial outfit who opened the chamber doors and pushed in a crude cleaning cart.

"Bloody 'ell," he exclaimed, seeing all the dead bodies scattered around the room. "There's no way I'm cleaning up this mess! What in the name of Hammurabi were you people doing?"

The Black Adder sighed and turned around to face him. "Didn't you get the memo? We told you in advance we'd be holding a suicide ritual here so as to reincarnate our souls into one body for the preservation and guidance of the human race."

"Well if it's a suicide thingy, how come you're still alive?" The janitor pointed out, unceremoniously dumping Shaman Flasheart's corpse onto his cart.

"Because I derive great satisfaction from seeing those idiots poison themselves and die in a suitably painful manner. Plus, I figure they won't be needing their sacred relics and whatnot, so things could turn out very profitable for me." The Black Adder tugged a ring off of Darling's finger, gave him one final kick, and move on to the far more richly adorned Shamaness Elizabeth.

"Well, I must admit that is a very cunning plan. Certainly better than my job," the janitor grunted, as he added more bodies onto the cart.

"Oh, but that's not all," The Black Adder bragged. "I've set it up so that my soul reincarnates into the next available descendant of mine, such as a grandson or great-grandson, so that I may watch over my fortune as directly as possible and use the vast wealth and knowledge I obtain in order to increase my power though the ages!"

"I wasn't aware that one could retain memory of past lives reliably."

"Details, details," The Black Adder dismissed contemptuously. "You're looking at the man who convinced an entire generation of shamans – each one of which he loathed on a personal level – to commit suicide in order to do something as ridiculous as coalesce into one soul after death in order to safeguard humanity from the powers of Chaos. I'm sure that retaining my sense of individuality and consciousness after death won't be an issue."

"Well, best of luck to you then. If you don't mind, it looks like I have a very long day ahead of me, so if you could finish your looting and move on?"

"To hell with your job, how about you quit the blasted thing and come with me. I could always use another minion," The Black Adder offered. "What's your name, my good man?"

"Baldrick, my lord, and it would be an honor to serve," Baldrick knelt and bowed his head.

"Very well, Baldrick, come with me and join me on the path to glory. I'm sure that this will be the beginning of a beautiful partnership."