A/n: I'm trying a new format for where to put my A/n thingy. I feel like it interferes with the new, green, and completely awesome review button. I hope you like this! It was a random but fun way to spend the night when I don't have to go to school tomorrow. Yayy.
Just randomly, I feel like giving you my view on world peace. Don't you think it could be easily achieved if the countries sent and received numerous (obviously) fruit baskets? Come on, who wouldn't be happy with a fruit basket? Just tons of them across the globe? It's quite the peace offering, no? Shutting up now.
Much love and I hope you enjoy the one shot,
Summary: Everyone wants world peace. Well, what if the only thing you had to do to achieve it would be to snog none other than James Potter?
Disclaimer: It belongs to Jo.
What I'd Do For World Peace
a Siriusly Klutzy story.
"So what you're saying is," I said, trying to comprehend Alice's madness, which wasn't always such an easy task, let me tell you, "if I run up to James right now and snog his brains out, we'll solve all problems relating to world peace."
Alice thought for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Theoretically, yes." She thought some more. "Yep, that's pretty much about right." She continued nodding with that look on her face like she didn't think she was the least bit mad, but everyone else thought otherwise (or at least I did).
"And you came to this conclusion how?" I asked, putting my arms out in a questioning manner and raising my eyebrows in a way that cleary stated that I believe she was a bit more unhinged than your average, everyday witch.
"Think about it, Lil," Alice explained as she slung her right arm lazily around my shoulder and used it to turn me in the direction where James and his mates were munching on lunch while discussing Quidditch strategies. "If you and James Potter can snog and be happy, than anyone can get along."
"She does have a point, Lily," Frank Longbottom put in from across the table. "I'm pretty sure you two have got the biggest rivalry in Hogwarts history."
"And you think that's my fault?" I demanded making sure to hit each of them with a stern look. "No. No way. Don't go there. He's the one who always starts things, dueling in the halls, messing with the Slytherins-"
"-because we all enjoy the Slytherin's company-" Alice snorted mordantly.
"-shut up Alice- threatening to toss first years in the lake. I have every right to dislike the brainless twit."
"But what has he done to you to make you take it personally?" Alice asked, a huge smile spreading across her face. "He's never done anything to me to make me hate him, I just act as if I do because I'm your mate and I don't think I could let you live with yourself after you've killed me."
"There was that time last year," I triumphantly answered immediately, details of that horrific event flooding my mind, "when he decided it would be a brilliant idea to dye everyone's socks scarlet and gold."
Alice rolled her eyes. "Yeah. So that the Gryffindor house could support the Quidditch team. If you recall, it was the biggest game of the year."
I scoffed. "Did I ask to have my socks dyed? I don't think so. I liked them exactly how they were. And who celebrates team spiritry on their feet, anyway?" There, I had definitely one that portion of this ridiculous fight. I crossed my arms in success.
"Who gets mad about house colored socks?" Alice countered, her sly smile returning to her already boastful face.
I stayed silent which caused her to grin wider, and even Frank joined in this time, making me blush a deep shade of red at my own incompetence. Sure, I loved Gryffindor, and everything that had to do with it, Quidditch team included, and sure maybe I was a bit melodramatic over the whole sock thing, but when someone takes my socks without permission and applies countless amounts of irremovable dye to them, I have the right to become a little upset, right? Right?!
However, when I voiced this to Alice, she snorted. "A little upset, Lil? A little? You put that Current Spell on him and made his hair stand on end for a month straight!" She laughed. "A month, Lily!"
I grumbled, not all that thrilled that the conversation wasn't exactly going in the direction I'd like it to. "It's not like anyone could tell it was different anyway. The boy's hair is a complete mess."
"Yes, yes, let's throw his hair into the judgment equation. Would you like to add his pinky toe, as well? I've heard that it's a bit longer than average," Alice retorted. She rolled her eyes and again turned to point me in his direction. "You're being completely irrational." She grinned at Frank and then looked back at me. "Now. There is a perfect way to judge someone." I could see the preparation twinkling in her eyes, it had that sort of madness glow that we all know and love Alice for, as long as it wasn't directed at us. Me. But this time it was. Bleeding lovely.
Though I already had an idea about what it could be, I had to ask. "And what would that be?"
"You snog him, of course!" she exclaimed like a proud mother as if it took a twenty person team of rocket scientists to figure that one out. "Just go over, snog him for a bit, call out a number between, oh I don't know, one and ten, and then come back."
Frank was nodding in agreement, completely on Alice's side, of course. Never on Lily's, no, of course not. That would be a stupid idea.
"No," I answered stubbornly. "I'm not going to do that. You guys are out of your minds."
Alice pouted. "Not even for world peace, Lily? Merlin, you're selfish."
"Selfish? What are you going on about? World peace will not happen if I go and snog James! It won't," I protested, forcing her arms off of my shoulders and turning back to face them so that my back was now to the Marauders.
"But you don't know that, do you? Do you know for a fact that world peace won't be achieved if you don't go over there this instant and snog the pants off of James Potter?"
"Yes!" I cried, throwing my hands out in anguish. "There is no possible way whatsoever that peace could possibly happen!"
Alice laughed. "You should at least give it a shot. Every little bit of help is appreciated." Frank was nodding furiously besides her, grinning like complete loon, still not getting over the ridiculousness of our everyday conversations. I couldn't wait until it was Alice's turn to be on the defensive side of one of these instead of me. Surely he'd get a good kick out of that.
"Every little bit of- Alice! You're out of your mind! Frank, what have you done to her? Have you completely melted her brains?" I questioned, now turning to Frank who paled a bit at my sudden attack.
"Just go. Give it a go. For all the countries who especially need peace this instant. Go give James a snog. For them."
"Good grief!" I cried, throwing my hands up in the air again and rising from my seat. I swung my legs over the bench and marched over to where James and his mates were sitting, all hunched over a piece of complicated looking parchment.
"Don't forget a number!" Alice called. She was giggling like mad and Frank had to cover her mouth so James wouldn't get suspicious.
Sirius saw me before anyone else and looked up from the squiggled parchment with a sloppy grin. "Evans! Pleasant surprise, I must say!"
"Thanks, Black. Potter, stand up for a second, would you?" I asked, not waiting for an answer before grabbing the backs of his robes and doing my best to lift him a bit from the seat. But seeing as I have the strength of a flobberworm, it didn't really do much except cause him to loosen his tie a bit before rising to his full height and looking at me.
He stood there facing me, looking mildly interested in my little intrusion with his Quidditch talk. Good to know. My brain had already hit determined mode, not to snog James Potter- in fact, that bit was barely processed- but to prove Alice that world peace cannot be created in one simple and rated snog between partial rivalries (though I must say, he's been loads better this year than previous years).
"Something wrong, Evans?" he asked cautiously but there was concern layered in his tone.
"James, what are your views on world peace?" I asked bluntly, trying to hold back my forceful grin, which would completely ruin the whole effect of this trial.
It took him a second to recover from my seemingly random question but then he started. "Well, I don't think it has to be anything big. I think a small group or a couple of people would be a nice place to start. Take fruit baske-!"
And then I took my dive, startling the pants off of the poor bloke with my random question and completely unexpected snog dive. It took him a moment to regain the little composure that he had, and he was a little tense, feeling a bit like stone because he wasn't actually moving his lips at all, at first. But after a second, once he realized what was actually happening, he loosened up quite a bit and responded with a great deal of enthusiasm.
When I pulled away, we were both breathless. It wasn't until then that I realized we had a significantly large audience watching us. One Ravenclaw had dropped about three spoonfuls of cereal on to his lap because he wasn't looking at what he was doing. Six Hufflepuffs were turned completely around on their bench, full out staring at us. Most of the Gryffindor table was looking in our direction, jaws at the floor, breakfasts abandoned. Sirius had one eyebrow arched so high that it was nearly hidden in his hair and a large grin was spread across his face that without a doubt confirmed what he was thinking. Alice and Frank were both staring at me, expressions of shock and exhilaration positively radiating off of their faces.
My brain then decided to catch up with my body's actions and my face, once again, turned a bright shade of red. I tried to keep my composure; stand tall and brave like a real Gryffindor would in this situation, but it was a bit harder with practically the entire school staring at you like you've just committed a crime (or was the initial starter of world peace).
I cleared my throat, which had become extremely dry even though my brain was saying I should be drooling over James Potter's snogability, and looked over at Alice so that she would hear me clearly when I said, "Eight point five."
She snorted and called back, "Eight point five? Are you sure? From where I was sitting, that was some snog."
I tilted my head from side to side, contemplating it for a second. "Alright then, nine."
"Nine?" James asked, practically still dumbfounded as he rubbed his chin, wide eyes looking at me like I was either completely brilliant or completely insane. It was hard to tell which at the moment.
"Out of ten," Frank clarified.
James looked at Sirius to see if he understood any of the nonsense. Sirius just shrugged and continued to watch this peculiar exchange.
"Nine out of ten?" James asked me. I couldn't tell if he was more confused than he was ecstatic. It was hard to tell.
"Your snogging," I clarified, for once in my life allowing my bloody traitor of a mouth go ahead without my mind because that seemed to be the better path to take. "Nine out of ten."
"Nine out of…? Nine out of ten?" he sputtered. Sirius snorted. "Surely… surely I must have been better than a nine!"
I grinned, tapping my chin. "You were a bit off in the beginning. I had to deduct points for the delay. But other than that you were all right."
"All right?" he exclaimed, tossing his arms up in the air much like I did merely minutes earlier.
"Are you questioning her authority?" Alice called from down the table once more. I was tempted to tell her to get over here so that the entire Great Hall didn't have to hear this tremendously awkward and yet hysterical conversation seeing as my face was about as red as a much too ripe tomato.
"Well, no. But a ni-?"
"Are you undermining her ability to create world peace by being overly concerned about you're snogging abilities?" Alice shouted across the table, not at all helping the whole stopping us from creating a scene thing.
"Wait just a minute!" James shouted. He waved his hand at Alice in a shut-up-for-a-second motion. "World peace? Snog abilities? What is going on, Evans?"
I wracked my brain for some logical explanation of that the hell had just happened with Alice and her nonsensical persuasion, but nothing was coming because my mind still hadn't caught up with my body. It was back in mid-snog. Great place for it to be, eh?
"So, hold on. Let me get this straight," James said, thinking so much that you could see the concentration lines between his eyebrows form. "Okay. So you came over and started snogging me… in order to help start world peace?"
I shrugged and nodded because that pretty much was the answer. It just… wasn't exactly a very logical one.
"World peace?" he asked though this time with a chuckle. He tucked a piece of hair behind me ear.
"Listen, I know it sounds ridiculous, but-" I tried to explain but he cut me off.
"World peace?" he asked once more. I nodded silently. He grinned and cupped my face in his hands. "Lets have a go at peace throughout the universe," he said happily and started snogging me there on the spot, this one much better than the first because neither of us were as surprised as we had been the first time, and my brain had finally caught up so I could actually focus on the task at hand.
Somewhere off in the distance, I heard Alice say to Frank, "Oh yeah, that's definitely at twelve."