Disclaimer: Haha, yeah, no.

Author's Note: This was a random crackish idea that I'd previously written up in script format for a friend of mine, after which she demanded that I write it up as an actual fic. Seeing as she has agreed to cosplay with me at an upcoming convention, I figured I might as well do as she said. X3

Dedication: For Lessa. As a pre-apology for when I choke you a bit when you're Light. ;)

Warnings: Crack-fluff for LxLight. XD




It was a quiet day at Ryuuzaki's Investigation HQ. No new crimes had been reported on the television, which meant no new supernatural deaths, which meant no new data for tracking down Kira, which meant nothing much to do but brood. And even that had quickly lost its appeal, as L had already analyzed this case from every possible angle.

57 times.

In the past few hours.

Pouting imperceptibly, but pouting all the same, L twisted back and forth in his favorite spindly chair, chewing on a marshmallow chick. Had there been anyone else in the room, the rhythmic squeak of the chair would have driven them up the wall; as it was, everyone else—testament to their own boredom—had gone home for the day.

"Good God, would you cut that out?!"

Well, everyone except Yagami Light, of course.

Grudgingly, the young detective used his foot to stop his horizontal see-sawing. "My apologies," he grumbled, flicking at an empty candy wrapper on his computer desk. "I suppose I am a trifle exasperated with the day's turn of events. Or rather, the lack thereof. And I do not seem to have anything to do…"

"Well, find something to do, then," Light retorted crisply, the chain that hung between them jangling as he turned the page of his book. He used to read the newspaper, but L had found that highly suspicious; annoyed by Ryuuzaki's continuous Kira references, Light had—by process of elimination—eventually turned to shoujo manga, the one medium of literary expression that even L couldn't link to the mysterious murder. "You're not a child. Take the initiative; it's up to you to make up your own entertainment."

Make my own entertainment? The well-oiled cogs in the older man's brain began to turn...

A small smile touched his pale features.

With newfound vigor, L twisted around to face his computer and tapped the Enter key, awaking it from sleep mode. "You are right, Light-kun," he said flatly, in a tone completely devoid of the mischief that glittered in his black eyes. "I must find my own entertainment. I think I shall browse the internet for a while… there is always something going on there."

Light grunted, turned the page of his graphic novel, and muttered something that sounded like "good to know," before disregarding L completely.

Perfect. With his usual, two-finger pecking, Ryuuzaki tapped aimlessly away on his keyboard for a few minutes, calling up random search engines and websites, before pausing to musingly gnaw on another marshmallow chick.

"…Light-kun," he then murmured, his voice stuck in its usual monotone, "I just found a fascinating website on the Roman Numeral system. Though you seem the type to already know such basic history… perhaps I should test you. What is the first letter used in the Roman Numeral system?"

"I," Light responded flatly, not bothering to look up from his manga. It was easier to deal with Ryuuzaki if he just answered, then ignored…

"Hmm, correct. Very good," L congratulated, eyes flicking back to the glowing monitor. He minimized that window, then began fiddling with another.

Two silent minutes passed.

"…Light-kun," L then said again, frowning at a brief sports clipping he'd discovered. "You watched this tennis match, didn't you? I am afraid I missed it—and this article does not reveal the scores. Though it seems the challenger lost with a score of zero—"

"Love," Light corrected automatically, flipping a few pages forward in his book. Apparently, the storyline was quite captivating.

"Ah, that's right, pardon me," Ryuuzaki acknowledged. The smallest hint of a grin touched his thin lips, but he managed to hide it. "In any case, perhaps I can find it on youtube…"

He trailed off thoughtfully; Light continued to remain unresponsive.

Another pause.

"…Light-kun," the detective eventually murmured, a touch of hesitation in his voice, "I have just found a picture of the strangest animal on google images. It seems to be a bird, perhaps comparable to an ostrich, but I find it difficult to tell… I believe it's called a…?"

Biting back a sigh, Light glanced up long enough to skim the photograph. "Ewe," he then supplied, much to L's obvious amusement.

"Ah. Many thanks, Light-kun. That's very sweet of you," Ryuuzaki whispered, offering his companion a tiny, but devious smirk.

The expression caught Light off-guard, and for the first time in nearly an hour he bothered to fully tune in to his surroundings. "Um, sure…" he returned, clearly feeling uncomfortable. Not that it was that big of a deal. Seriously… and does he have some sort of amnesia today, or is he just feeling extra annoying? Whatever. I'll just—

With a jolt of realization, Light froze, blinked twice, and lowered the manga he held in his hands. "…wait a minute…"

Beside him, L began laughing.